Immortal-Rouged by Luma Rouge

The illustrious Luma Rouge came to Monday's Beatles Burlesque show and created some of her famous live drawing illustrations. If you are not familiar with Luma's work, you should definitely check out her drawings. She does them live at the show with a pencil and brush with a palette of no more than 20-ish colors. I tried to watch her the couple of times she has attended Beatles Burlesque, and you just sort of see her hands flurry over her sketchpad with broad strokes, then before your eyes, it's a thigh, a leg, a heel, a smile, tussled hair, magnificent feathers. All the while she is jammin along to the music too! It's one of those moments when you know you are in the presence of serious talent and artistry.


Here's the link to the rest of the drawings on her Facebook. 

By Luma Rouge

To see more of her work, framed and ready for purchase, click here for her ImageKind Gallery.
Learn more about Luma, click here for her web site.

Drunk Guys at Shows

I hate St. Patrick's Day. I was able to avoid all visual reminders today because I didn't leave the office at all. My lunch was delivered to me via SeamlessWeb.com by using their app on my iPhone. The only time I saw some dumb people wearing all green and wearing leprechaun flop hats was on the subway going home. And why is it always white people who get all greened up for this holiday? I was anticipating the worst tonight at Nurse Bettie and was probably a bit prickly when I got there. But pleasantly to my surprise, it was not douchey at all. Generally speaking, Nurse Bettie does not attract a fraternity crowd or a more "ghetto" crowd like The Delancey. But every now and then, you get that ONE stupid guy who is drunk and misbehaves, and I picked him out right off the bat! His friend was okay and acted like he was embarrassed by his friend's loudmouth, obnoxious behavior. During the dance-off game, the obnoxious one particularly threw himself on the stage without knowing what he was in for. Then he actually SLAPPED my butt!!! I was like, "Oh, no you didn't!!" I stopped explaining to the audience the rules of the game and said, "If you touch me again, I will kick you out of this bar." I felt like I had to say that so many times tonight! Sometimes doing a show at a bar environment is great fun cause its rowdy and wild, but the crowd management and reading the audience can piss me off really quick. So his poor friend did the dance off, and he was a good sport. But the obnoxious one refused to dance! I wanted to hang him by the balls on the hangers on the wall!!! Alex, the bartender that we all love, grandly stepped in and helped finish the game. The best part? When the judging time came, NO ONE clapped for the obnoxious guy's friend. It's not his fault but I think the audience was on my side and transferred their dislike to the other guy. Seriously. I even asked twice for their applause and I think a girl actually boo-ed. The rest of the show was grand. All the girls were great and really "brung" it as always.

I can't wait to upload the amazing pictures that Francine Daveta took of the last Beatles Burlesque One Year Anniversary show! As soon as I have some downtime over the weekend, I am going to take care of that and edit a couple more of our popular montages too. Here's a sneak preview!

Curtain call

Ekaterina

Charlie Gunn was sacrificied

Bettina May

Another Beatles Clip "Helter Skelter"

Monday, March 14, 2011 is our ONE year anniversary show! I am so excited about the line-up and I'll announce it now on my blog for my readers - EKATERINA, BETTINA MAY, myself with Gogo Dancing by SYDNEY SUNRISE (you can see her in the video above) and a fresh new hottie whose name is TBA!

This anniversary show will have an open bar by my favorite down under sponsor 42Below Vodka from 9-10pm AND treats by "the burlesque baker" herself The Naughty Housewife! Guest musicians and singers are in the works so make sure you check our website for latest updates!

Beatles Burlesque Número Once!

This past Monday night marked the 11th Beatles Burlesque show, and we packed the house! It was amazing! Many young couples were out to celebrate Valentine's Day as well as groups of guys and gals hanging out. I had to get out more chairs and ushered some of the people coming in to find a table to sit. I love that people were ordering food too from next door Cubana Social - I'm familiar and at home with the show + food format cause it's like Dim Sum Burlesque all over again.

Here''s a clip of one of the performers. I am trying to find time at night when I don't have shows to edit the rest of them. More to come...

Beatles Burlesque Continues Next Month w/a New Surprise

The chips have fallen where they have always been. Beatles Burlesque is happily staying at Public Assembly thanks very much to the cooperation of the management and team there. We are stoked to keep their Monday Night Burlesque brand alive and well. When everyone's happy, Yoko Chang is happy. Which means a better show.

Next month on Monday, November 8, Beatles Burlesque will feature The Maine Attraction, Gal Friday, Honi Harlow, and sacrificial lamb Madame Deelux! The band will be back together after a month of being separated. And guess what else, my parents will be in attendance for the first time ever! My mom, as most of you already know, knows about my burlesque career and have seen my fan dance (and that's ALL she's ever going to see!) but my dad has not seen ANY burlesque at all. I invited them to come to the show rather than stay in, and they asked, "Will you be performing?" Ha ha! They ARE fans of Vegas topless shows and have been to a few in the past so that's how I sold it to them. As long as they don't see me topless, its all kosher.

Btw - I heard that after the last Beatles Burlesque show, someone was caught masturbating in the men's bathroom!!!!

John Lennon

I am out of dishwashing detergent. The living room looks like a giant Goth closet exploded all over it (been rehearsing for tmrw night's Spooky, Scary, Sexy show at The Delancey). The bedroom looks like Forever21 moved in (I went shopping and bought some stuff over the weekend like this Spangle Body Suit that I will wear when gogo-ing at Nurse Bettie this Thursday night). And right now I am going to Beatles Burlesque. A very auspicious night, I have a feeling. It's an all-boys band tonight! I'm very excited to hear a male voice sing these songs that have been sung by a female lead the last 6 months. Last weekend was John Lennon's 70th birthday so tonight's show is even more special. I hope I don't cry when I dedicate tonight's show to him. I will blog more later tonight.

Back on the gritty pavement

I'm purposely not working this week so I can work on my new act, an electric blue Vegas-style showgirl/showboat piece. I'm very excited about this new act and have been dreaming about it. When I'm working on a new act, I listen to the song on repeat whenever I have to walk or take the subway somewhere. It's on loop forever. Sometimes I listen to it for an hour on repeat like a crazy lady! It's been an easy transition coming back from Mexico. The Drunken Dragon show at Macao on Monday night was very, very packed. More packed than the other two months. We might move it upstairs if it keeps getting this packed every month. I did the black fan dance and the bar top act again which I love so much. I've tried to do this act elsewhere but it doesn't work anywhere else! I was hoping to debut the blue act at Macao, but I had no time. So instead - I am going to debut this glamour puss at Runaround Sue's SugarShack Burlesque show at the Palace of Wonders on Saturday, September 11! It's me, Runaround Sue, Scooter Pie, and Ekaterina. The four of us will blow the roof off that place! And we're doing 2 shows! I'm SO excited to do her show that I'll even take the bus to DC. I get car sick very bad that's why I always try to borrow Manny's car but lately I feel like I've been abusing my friendship with him so I feel bad asking again so soon after the last time. Where's my Dramamine??

Saturday, September 11 at The Palace of Wonders, DC!

Tory Williams, the photographer for Time Out, posted some pictures from my story last month on her blog. She shadowed me from home to the show at Nurse Bettie.

Photo by Tory Williams

Her blog has more pictures of Peekaboo Pointe, Nikkita Lemarcelle, Deity Delgado, etc. from that same night. Click here to see them!

I'm also excited to return to Kitty Nights this Sunday 9pm SHARP! I think my second time performing ever was at Fem Appeal's famously popular Sunday show over a year ago. I did my Brett Michael's "Talk Dirty to Me" schoolgirl act, and now from schoolgirl to "Asian Hooker" Hello Kitty! I love this show and I love the people there. And I can't wait to eat the chicken fingers at Bar on A!

All this week I've been patiently waiting for my new iMac - it's a big hulking motherfucker! 27" screen!!! It's gonna give me vertigo its so huge. I need it to finish my documentary "opus" haha, the one I filmed in Mexico. I'm addicted to editing! It's more gratifying than writing in so many other ways. I already made 3 clips from the last Beatles Burlesque show and 1 clip of my spontaneous strip tease on the beach in Mexico. You can see them here:

Montage of the show to "Oh Darlin"


"Don't Let Me Down"


"Yer Blues"


Beach Striptease

Things I can't afford.

I stumbled into a store on Bowery yesterday called Blue & Cream and I wish I didn't go in there, because I saw a leather dress for $600 and it was amazing. It was like something out of Bladerunner but more modern with a bustier top and a narrow, narrow peplum skirt. Bitch was sexy and I sniffed her... I also saw this other dress (to the left) that I lusted after. It's $1,600!!!

The Skullduggery & Skin show in DC, Jo Boob's Coney Island Show & Beatles Burlesque #5!

The Palace of Wonders, DC

Last weekend I performed for the first time at The Palace of Wonders in our nation's capital Washington DC for Albert Cadabra's The Skullduggery & Skin Show! The last time I was in DC was 5-6 years ago when I stayed in what I called "the freaky black men sex hotel" with my high school friend Kathleen (We were not there to have freaky black men sex with each other or other people, mind you). Everyone knows Albert is a rare breed doing what he is doing. But to see him at The Palace of Wonders doing this show is truly, truly inspiring and amazing. Like seeing a thirsty (and bald) red cactus thriving in its righteous environment. First of all, the decor of the place is designed for this sideburns-wearing freak. For those of you who have not been to The Palace, it has two floors with a vaudeville-styled stage on the first floor with a full bar, and a museum-of-oddities on the second floor. There were rows of human skulls lined against the wall, a giant stuffed unicorn/goat in a glass case & a bunch of other things you'd see in a 19th century dime museum and/or a traveling circus.

Upstairs, Downstairs

I really liked the dressing room. Although small but you go through the sliding mirror closet door and voila! You are on stage. You get a really cool shadow play view behind the curtain. Very dramatic.

The man behind the curtain, Albert Cadabra!

I loved the fact that people are on the second floor watching the show and you have to play up to them too. The place was packed and the crowd was SO enthusiastic and SO pumped with energy (or alcohol, DC shuts down at 2am so people start boozing earrrly). The sounds they made during the show was like they were riding a rollercoaster! It was me, Gigi Lafemme, and BooBoo Darlin'. Gigi and I each did 2 acts, and BooBoo did her Slow Motion act that she will be doing at the NYBF in October.

What happens backstage...

Albert did 4 or 5 acts and with Ruby the Wonder Dog, his little rescue poodle mix, they were a total hit. How can you not like a vaudeville show where a man swallows a 12ft balloon, sticks his tongue in a fan, has a cute dog that jumps through a hoop of fire, and naked girls stripteasing on stage??

Stuff on the wall.

It's no wonder we made great money and it's no wonder he packs the house every month.
Albert said after the show people usually want to hang around and take pictures with us. And sure enough, we spend another hour and a half

...is a lot of this! Hahaha

posing and talking to people. An Asian woman came up to me and said she also wants to be the "Asian Sexsation"! She was very sweet and had a totally trim, cute body with skinny jeans and these sexy heels. Speaking of which, I've been meeting a lot of Asian women who approach me after shows or contact me via Facebook all saying how much they love what I'm doing and that they want to do the same thing. The word "role model" was used a few times from different people, which is so funny to me because my parent's generation would never consider stripping to be "role model"-worthy, but this new breed of Asian girls are saying fuck oppressive Asian culture! I support this wholeheartedly because speaking from experience, I was raised to feel shameful about my body and my 32D boobs. No, it does not run in the family and it's probably the American diet and hormone in the food that created these tatas. So yes, FUCK oppression!!

Ruby the Wonder Dog, so agile & well-behaved.

We drove back the same night after the show. Gigi took the first shift and we gabbed all the way, then I drove for another hour and a half and we gabbed some more. Then we were both tired and that was around 4:45am so Albert drove the rest of the way. When we got back to Brooklyn the sun was coming up. I have not seen sunrise in years. The last time was maybe when I was in Ibiza with Gisella and we were up til 11am the next morning after the foam party (don't laugh) and pills of ecstacy swearing on our love for techno music. Gasp! See kids? Stay off drugs. They'll make you think you love techno music.

Friday night before I went to DC, I performed in Jo Boob's Coney Island show called "Strip Teas: a Night of Teabagging and Other Exotic Infusions" with Nasty Canasta, Darlinda & Darlinda, Machine Dazzle and Johnny Porkpie (um, yea). I love the environment of the stage, and Rosabelle Selavy reminded me that last year I was kittening as the bad French Maid for the same show, and this year Rosabelle also dressed as a bad French maid.

Coney Island Circus Sideshow, 2009

Porkpie, Machine, & Rosabelle's naughtier French maid - 2010.

Everyone's names had the letter "T" or sounded tea-related. I was "Calami-tea" and did my black fan dance completely nude underneath for "nudi-tea" and I did my Hello Kit-tea/Asian Hooker act. My friend Amanda and her boy came all the way out to Coney to see the show, and I thought I heard her voice or someone screaming, "LOVE IT! LOOOOVEDarlinda pour cream out of pitchers all over her (watered down moisturizer) and the three of us were buck naked and rubbed cream all over each other. Women's bodies are so soft! When we started rubbing the cream, Jo whispered to me, "Not in the hair" which of course made me think of porn when the girls are all, "Don't cum in my hair" - but what she meant was not in her hair piece cause the oils will break down the luscious locks. HA! Thank god there is a shower at Coney cause we were covered with cream and silver glitter that Nasty, Porkpie, and Machine sprinkled on us (sugar). Michael and I went to have a drink at a boardwalk bar, and we played shoot the freak which was really bizarre. Why does the black man have to be the freak!? Just kidding. He didn't look very freakish. He looked very bored.

My outtie vagina and the rest!

This Monday night was the 5th Beatles Burlesque!!! Can you believe we are almost at the half-year mark? We are continuing on for sure. This time I had Jo Boobs, Minnie Tonka, Kita St. Cyr, and Strawberry Fields. BooBoo Darlin, my new friend from Richmond/DC, opened the show with her Isis wing dance to "Rollover Beethoven". It was packed and we had the same amount of people as all the other months. I was hugely relieved because August is typically really slow but we did well!

I joked around on stage that if people bought me tequila shots, I will take off my clothes and guess what, be careful what you banter about, cause I got 4 rounds of shots. I know Caprice bought me a shot, then Kenny. The other two I have no idea. All I know is that Lixx came backstage and said, "Girl, you better pace yourself cause you got two shots waiting for you at the bar."

August Beatles show

By the end of the show when I was supposed to do a spontaneous duet piece with Jo, I was on auto-pilot. Thank god I didn't fuck anything up and that she and I talked about what to do beforehand. Minnie better tell me exactly what transpired cause I don't remember. Or Dan better have it on film somewhere! I was just informed that I was on top of Jo eating her out. I don't recall! That's two finales where I got to grope Jo Boobs. Waa Hoo!! Is it exciting to see naked women and touching each other on stage? I personally don't find it exciting as a spectator but I'm straighter than a board, and it seems like many many people find group acts such as naked pie fight or wine bath very titillating.

Swim, Sex, Sleep, Sex Again

That about sums up the last weekend. Michael and I are going to Mexico this Friday for a week to Playa del Carmen! I was just there in May. Just a FYI, Mexico is really cheap to go right now. They are still suffering from the swine flu scare last year. All these amazing posh resort spa hotels are dirt cheap like $50 a night. Our deal was only $700 a person including airfare. SICK!! Brassy will be safeguarding my Chewie - hope nothing bad happens! I get paranoid about the little dog.

Drunken Dragon Nights, Monday, August 23!

As soon as I return from Mexico, the next show I am excited to do again is my monthly Drunken Dragon Nights at Macao Trading Company on Monday, August 23!


This month the alcohol sponsor is vodka! I like free things as do most people, that's why this late-night show is FREE with a 2 hour open bar from 9-11pm then a free show at 11pm.

My girls Gal Friday, Bird of Paradise, and Kita St Cyr are back again - and with my Captain Kitten Madame Delux (she's being promoted to Captain now), this is the show I'm SO excited about!

You can inspect me when I'm back from Mexico.

NO TAN LINES!

Someone Please Tell Me Why I Have This Recurring Dream

Waah, Waah

The other morning I woke up crying because I had the same dream again. In the dream, Michael and I got into a fight or something and he moved out. Then I heard through friends that he hooked up with another girl already and I was heartbroken. I felt SO sad in the dream and overwhelmed with this feeling of DOOM, a distinct feeling that "happiness" was over, and I couldn't believe that happiness was over!! And I thought to myself (in the dream) that I couldn't possibly do Beatles Burlesque the next day knowing that he was going to be there and still try to be fun and energetic as the hostess. And I also remembered that we were supposed to go to Paris for a week and I didn't know what I was going to do with the plane ticket and hotel reservation, all already paid for. So I started to call Brassy to tell her about what happened and that I couldn't do the show - that was when I woke up crying and etc.

Here's the rub. I've had this same kind of dream for as long as I can remember with every boyfriend. It's always the same scenario. A betrayal, a truth revealed, or a change in affection towards me. None of the boyfriends I've had cheated on me (that I know of, at least, ha ha), nor are my parents divorced or dysfunctional. Chinese families are typically pretty nuclear, supportive and normal. So I have no idea why I always have this same kind of dreams. Even with the kindest, nicest, most "do-right" boyfriends, I still had the same dream. The only thing I can think of is maybe this is my subconscious mind's way to dealing with my "trust issues" - I say that with quotes because it's so stupid and such a cliche phrase a quick-fix answer to a more interesting analysis. It's almost as bad as saying, "intimacy issues" - it just sounds like something out of Sex in the City! Anyway, when I wake up I always feel enormous relief that none of it was real. And nobody hurt anyone. Maybe my brain is trying to tell me that I shouldn't anticipate for the worst all the time?

Any budding dream psychiatrists out there?

Chewie Stealing Chicken Bones

I had FUUUUNN at Nurse Bettie last night. First, Time Out's supplement issue is featuring me as one of the four people who have "changed careers" so Tory the photographer came over around 7pm to shadow me as I got ready and put makeup on. Except she was a bit early so when she rang the doorbell, I was still napping and had no makeup on at all which is so taboo to me to be photographed sans makeup. We got along really great right away so I had no problem being natural and pretending she wasn't there.

We got to Nurse Bettie on the early side so she can shoot more photos of me in the bathroom getting ready some more. There were two birthdays and a bachelor party, andit was packed at 9pm. I feel like I haven't been there in a long time and really missed it! Peekaboo Pointe performed last night, the first time with me at Spanking the Lower East Side. She's in-demand and super busy with her "Best Night of Your Fucking Life" tour with Mr. Law and Lil Miss Lixx. She worked that little bar! I also had Deity who wore this amazing real chain mail top and bottom and stepped on a plate of strawberries on a plate and licked it off her own feet. We talked about fetishes after the show while eating the birthday girls' raspberry chocolate cake, and I told her about my animal, er, interests. Ha ha. I have a new act about cats and shaving that I wanted to do for this month's show at Coco de Mer, but Simon felt like I should save it for August so alas, I will save it for August.

This past Monday night was Honi Harlow's show at Fontana's. This one was a special show because Russell Simmons was there taping an episode for his reality show. Anyway, I was watching Kimora's reality show when I was in Denver and I just learned that she is now developing all these super high-end (expensive) jewelry for the Hello Kitty line! These things are like $1000! This, for instance, is priced at almost $2,000:

If this isn't the absolute whoring of a brand and archetype, I don't know what is! Anyway, so Honi and the intern they were filming had already told Simmons that I was the opening act, doing Hello Kitty/Asian Hooker! He was excited to see it so we waited until he was ready before I opened the show (I had to open because we had to go to Beatles Burlesque at Public Assembly right after). The act went really well (no backwards dancing this time), and me and Ticket to Ride scurried over to PA right away. Later, I heard from Caprice and Cesar that Honi had said during the show that Russell Simmon's new girlfriend (Korean, of course) was offended by my act. Kudos for me!! It's good to offend especially if it's people who are not of your ilk. Later I found out some more, apparently she was also offended that he brought her to Chinatown! Sounds like girlfriend's got an Asian chip on her shoulder.

Beatles Burlesque was off-the-hook!! This show is so my baby. Well, Nurse Bettie is too as is Coco de Mer and Macao Trading Company. I was so excited to have Nasty there and Darlinda!!! They were amazing and Jenny C'est Quoi - so talented. Miz Margo transformed herself from her Goth look to this 1970's suit lady. Beelzebabe was the sacrificial lamb and opened the show with a modified black fan dance. I tried to remember what everyone did, but I accidentally got too drunk (didn't have time to eat dinner) and I tricked a couple of guys in the audience to buy me shots if I took off my dress (the same shiny silver one that I posted about earlier). I'm going to be wearing this dress to EVERYTHING to get my $400 worth. (yes...it was that much but it's worth it!!!) I do remember taking off my dress at the very end of the show and crawling up to Brassy from the side stairs as she was singing "Live and Let Die" and then licking her leg? It was fabulous, fabulous fun. We went to eat at Doner afterwards with Brassy and Michael's friends. Around 330am, I realized there was no way I could go to work the next day so I had to email and say I wasn't coming in. Next time, I am NOT scheduling a work day the day after a show like that.

All this happened the day I returned from the Colorado Burlesque Festival. I had such a STUPENDOUS time there, it was both a combination of relaxation (hanging with Gisella in Boulder, eating tempeh and seitan, going to the lake with her new puppy, and not wearing make up and the same t-shirt for days) -

Gisella's awesome new house! I love staying here!


Coco her dog.

- And excitement at the festival being glammed up and performing. The women (Fannie Spankings, Lola Spitfire, and Midnight Martini) who organized this first annual festival were so nice, talented, and certainly knew how to create an amazing line-up. The headliners were Michelle L'amour, Tigger!, and Trixie Little & Evil Hate Monkey. I was particularly moved by the performances of Takka a belly dancer from Denver, Midnite Martini, and Michelle L'Amour.


I think she's half-Japanese or Japanese and I thought she was so pretty and exotic. She was so nice too, and she had a body that was just fucking insane!!!


Midnite Martini is a true artist. Her aerial work is stunning, elegant, and a virtuoso performance of athleticism and beauty.


Anybody who have seen Michelle L'Amour's white fan dance tribute to Sally Rand will know what I mean when I say that her performance, persona, stage presence, sheer ethereal beauty will move you to tears. She was a vision of grace, beauty, and things long gone and watching this act can make you feel sad.

My black fan dance is nothing compared to hers. I learned a lot from watching her and other performers. My favorite part of the the entire experience, I have to say, is meeting all these fabulous new people from all over the US. Honey Lawless from SF, Freya from Tennessee, Liam Sullivan (aka Kelly Shoes) who was our MC. It was inspiring in the way that made me feel like I don't have to stay in NYC to do burlesque. I want to perform and communicate an idea. And if there's an audience who wants to see, that's what matters most to me. Not which "city" is attached to the name. I love to travel and I didn't travel for a year because I didn't want to stop performing even for two weeks. But now, I feel like my horizon and perspective have expanded thanks to my experience at the festival. I was also very impressed by Big Mama Red being our "dressing room sponsor" - that meant we had a fridge stocked full of wine, beer, champagne, plus food catered by Jonesy's including seafood sandwich, sliders, cheese plate, and a plethora of other stuff that I was too scared to nibble on before I went on.


Umm alcohol. My friend...


Umm cupcakes and candy. My enemies...


Tigger! having a handful of Calamity.

Chicava Honeychild also from NYC but who is originally from Boulder, Colorado was also at the festival. We both decided that next time we should stay in Denver at the hotel where everyone is staying. Her mom saw her Hot Science act for the first time ever at the festival. It was like her coming-out show. Her mom apparently loved it and said she liked my fan dance too.

Since being back in NYC, I've hit the ground running. I am also expanding the performers I book at Nurse Bettie. Now that the Slipper Room has closed, I feel like there are a lot of performers who were doing regular gigs there but now are free to take other gigs. I can't pay them as well but if they are willing, I'm willing! I am also implement a "Sacrificial Lamb" program at Nurse Bettie - for newbies who have performed under 20times to gain more stage and live audience experience. It's unpaid but for the exposure, it's worth it. Believe me, I came from that route too back when I only performed once a month, but I would rehearse and rehearse all month in preparation for that ONE act in one night. Then when I finally was on stage doing the act, things would always go unexpectedly such as wardrobe malfunction, different crowd than expected, or just nerves. I am a big proponent of gaining as much live experience as possible. It gives you more improvisation skills which ultimately makes you a more confident performer at ease in any space and with any crowd.

(Cold beer in an air-conditioned is so good! I'm drinking a bud select 55 as I'm blogging. its only 55 calories! Michael is drinking something called Natural Light on the other side of the room watching P90X)

A few of us involved in Beatles Burlesque worked on some logo explorations for Juliet Jeske's bakery busines, "Sure Thing: Sweets & Treats". I agreed to create a logo brand for her, design and build a web site for her in exchange for 4-5 batches of Beatles Burlesque cookies to give out at the shows. At the last gig, they were gone in no time! I didn't even get to keep one. So the logos look like this:

I'm not going to say who did what, but can you guess? Haha. Ask Juliet which one she picked. The web site will be coming soon!

We just ordered from Domino's pizza tonight. Now, I was a total Domino's Pizza hater. I thought the food was disgusting and I haven't had it since I left Texas after high school. I've only ever ordered it once in all 11 years in NYC and it was terrible! But a few months ago, I went on their web site and I was so IMPRESSED with their site interface and the OMG-online ordering Flash interface! It lets you customize your own pizza, choose a coupon, choose the toppings and you see pictures of your topping animate in on the pizza! Big buttons. I love big buttons. Graphics that explain everything. Great iconography. After you submit your order, it gives you a tracker of whether your pizza is being prepared, baked, or out for delivery. And even gives you the name of the delivery guy! Like "How was Luis in getting your order to you?"

What a great online experience! This beats calling on the phone to order delivery! The interface was big and easy to use. And for some reason being able to click on "Spinach" and see little pieces of spinach appear on the pizza was an extremely rewarding user experience.

Last notes: I think Chewie waited til we were asleep and sauntered into the living room where a chicken bone was on the low table top, and ate it! We couldn't find the bone anywhere today. Also finally tried out DBGB Tuesday night. I didn't order the burger but I got a sausage and that was delicious. But I ate too late and that always gives me a stomach ache in the middle of the night always around 3am. DBGB does have great restrooms for a public shag though, after Double Crown/Madame Geneva. :)

On my way to the Colorado Burlesque Festival, but first, a funny story.

Note: Some people have asked me how to get tickets to Monday July 12's Beatles Burlesque show. You don't need to get advance tickets. Public Assembly is first come, first serve. Cash at the door. Just show up when doors open at 9pm and pay then. Come early to get a good seat to enjoy the gogo team at 930pm and the show starts at 10pm! It's a big line-up and big sets! For line-up and directions, go to http://www.BeatlesBurlesque.com

On Monday night, I was in Broadway Brassy and Shelly the Singing Siren's "From Trashy to Classy" show at Public Assembly. We had a lot of things against us. The L train wasn't working. It was the long weekend after July 4th when most people were probably just getting back into the city. AND - Faith No More was playing down at the waterfront. I knew this going in, so I still had a lot of fun backstage with Strawberry Fields, Honey Birdette, and Gemini Rising. Shelly and Brassy's banter on stage was on point and very funny. They really should be reviewed by Pitchfork or Sasha Frere Jones. Hello, Sasha. If you are reading this, you must hear either or both of them! Call me I'll hook you up.

For my classy act, I did my popular black fan dance to the 1930s Japanese cover of "St Louis Blues". That went great as usual. I love this act and it's one of my oldest acts, but when it came time to do my trashy act which is much newer and still a lot of be worked out, I did the Asian Hooker/Hello Kitty act. Those of you who have seen this act know the size of the foam head. What you may or may not know is that I can not see anything at all! The eyes are open with mesh covering but they are so far apart it doesn't help me see anything at all. So what I sse in front of me is this:


Because of those four steps to the stage and because the curtains were not closing before each act, Gemini Rising had to lead me by hand up to the stage. Which was fine cause it works with the character. I asked her to leave me in the middle of the stage, and she does. But I wanted to try bigger movements and this new choreography that night, and I did. I turned around and around and around - doing my thing la la la - the gloves come off, the dress comes off, then I'm down to panties and bra. I unzip my bra, nothing is happening. No one is cheering. So I'm thinking its because the turn out is so small so no biggie. I keep going, so when the big reveal comes and I yank off the foamhead and swish my hair in a way that I thought was glamorous and uber-sexy...I realize that I had gotten myself so turned around that I was facing the BACK of the stage!!! So instead of seeing this when the foam head came off:

I saw this:


No wonder no one cheered when my top came off! SO yes, for the fifteen people who were there to witness this hysterical moment in my burlesque life so far - that was what was REALLY going on eventhough it may not have looked like it if you haven't seen the act before. I still laugh when I think about it.

I just finished packing and am going to the airport. I am so excited to meet all these people that I've only have been corresponding with like Fannie Spankings, Midnight Martini (whose aerial work looks amazing), and take Tigger!'s class and Scarlett Letter's "Dancing in Shoes you Shouldn't be Walking in". Plus I get to see G's brand new swanky house! And go to the mall, TJMaxx, Mac Makeup, get sushi and the usual stuff we do when I go to Boulder. I don't want to run into someone there though...what a big mistake that was from two years ago. GROSS. I want to vomit just thinking about it!! I will be blogging and taking lots of photos - trying out a "travel-logue" kind of thing for this weekend. (Stretching arms) trying out my journalistic chops.

I will be twittering too on the fly! Follow me there.

Eager to Lose @ The Tank, Nurse Bettie, Suicide Girl

Wednesday night I performed at Tansy's show "Eager to Lose: A Panto Burlesque" at The Tank. The show was basically a burlesque show but with an element of theater to it with back stories of the dancers and the skivvy cabaret owner. It was quasi-Christopher Isherwood short story, like burlesque meets Amistad Maupin. It has a lot of room to grown into something really other worldly especially if you are stepping off from tourists central on 45th street and 8th avenue. Tansy picked a group of really great people for her inaugural show. Gemini Rising, Albert Cadabra, Grace Gotham, two new hot gogo dancers (Lambchop and Tipsy Rose Lee) who I have already recruited to gogo at the next Beatles Burlesque show on Monday, July 12. They both have such cute names! Lambchop! Just makes you want to say it over and over again. Mint and lambchop. Chutney and lambchop. Sauteed lambchop. Lambchop on the parilla. YUMMM!!!!!!

The Tank did have a really nice black box stage and I was smitten with the floor! It was cushier than the usual shit so dancing on 5inch heels did not hurt my knees. There was a proper dressing room two flights up but the stairs are a fucking nightmare!!! Five minutes before show, Tansy almost slipped but caught herself and ended up ripping her shoulder. She did 4 acts and could barely lift her arm but she toughed it out even though she was clearly in a lot of pain. Last I heard, she's in a sling and is okay. But what a bummer, cause she was supposed to be in my Thursday night Nurse Bettie show but I had to find someone else to step in, and fortunately Scooter Pie was available.

I like this picture in particular because of how creepy Albert looks by the door. He's like, "...I'm gonna CUT CHOO fool!" Then he's like:

"WHAT! Whatchoo lookin, at fool!?"

I did my black fan number and the nun. The black fan is what I'll be doing at the Colorado Burlesque Festival NEXT weekend!! I am so excited! One of my best gf lives in Boulder and she just bought a new swanky house so I'm also excited to see her new pad, and pig out on some seitan and vegetarian food that's plenty easy to find in Boulder. I know...I really should just abandon this meat thing but I love chicken and fish too much! Altho... I do love faux-chicken too so much. Agh!! It's an existential food crisis!

I renewed my contract at the day job for another two weeks cause they really are massaging my brain in a major way that's really stimulating. But I negotiated a new term where I will not be working more than 10 hours a day, and if I go over, I can leave early the next day. This is much better. And will allow me to do my shows and see my non-burlesque friends which is becoming rarer and rarer - my guy friends don't seem to mind as much as the girl friends. I just don't have time to sit at a bar drinking for hours and I can't really eat out at restaurants 3x a week because A) it's expensive and B) restaurant food makes me gain weight in the blink of an eye. Oh well. All in all though, I am happy pursuing this path wherever it'll lead me. I'm definitely having more fun, excitement, glamour, and crazy shit than ever in my life!

Last night was the Nurse Bettie show with ALL girls, so fun! I intro-ed Weirdee Girl as "The Martha Stewart of Burlesque" because I keep seeing her do acts where she uses food on her body. One time it was cheese, last night it was cranberry sauce. Rosebud did a new act that is a fetish that really turns her on, mummifying and restriction. She used saran wrap and rolled herself into it to Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" - it was pretty awe-inspiring. I did an easy act last night, the red tequila priestess act. Craig took some photos with his phone.

Those of you who have been around the scene long enough may notice that this costume and music (Tito & Tarantula's After Dark) is exactly the same as Jo Boob's Aztec act. I did not know this when I came up with the act, which really isn't original like my equestrian act since I basically ripped off of "From Dusk til Dawn" and copied Selma Hayek's headpiece. But just for the record, I did tell Jo that I accidentally did the same act. In hers as she described in her new burlesque handbook, she wears red flame contacts. I've never seen her do this act myself, but she being the diplomatic educator, said I can go for it because she doesn't do this act very much anymore.

After the show, I met Sauci Calla Horra from Toronto! She's the one who produces the Toronto Burlesque Festival happening in a week! We talked for a long time about the different scenes, and other shows and people we knew in common. As you may or may not know, I did not get in the Toronto festival as much as I wanted to, and she and I talked about my application. She was so nice about it, even almost apologizing to me about how close I was in the process. I in turned felt bad about making her feel bad about not accepting my number. I should have submitted my nun act or hello kitty or even the equestrian bondage act, but at the time of application, I didn't have any of those acts ready. Rosewood did say to me to submit and act that is beaten up, tried and true, and not submit a new act. I should have listened to her! Anyway, I told Sauci I will definitely apply again next year and if I go to Toronto, I would love to perform anytime she wants me to. She and her partner went to see Rosewood at The Box after wards, and I texted Rose and she said she is doing a "blackface" act!! I've been dying for someone to do blackface. It's kind of an obsession of mine. Bella Balls and I joke about her doing it. So I may stop by Saturday night to see Rose do blackface - its the last frontier!

I also applied to be a Suicide Girl and was accepted. I know they are soooo late 90's but they've grown into a huge corporate money-making business selling "alternative erotica". It'll increase my visibility and get some extra money and gigs. I will be working on my set (70-100 photos) with Michael as soon as he comes back from Toronto. They have a VERY strict set of rules when it comes to the kind of photos they want. Like NO dudes. Even if they are blurry in the background. Or touching, spreading. I'm excited by this new SG venture!

Adventures with Facebook Ads!

I've been trying out Facebook ads to promote Beatles Burlesque (Monday, June 12) and the Coco de Mer show (Saturday, June 21).















It's high time I made the foray into social networking advertising since this is the career I've spent the last decade working in. I find that I actually DO notice the little ads on the right-hand side when I'm on Facebook (which is A LOT) whereas I've - and I think most people have as well - become numbed by Flash banner ads on major sites like CNN, iVillage, MSN, etc. Everyone I ask say they never pay attention to those banners whereas everyone I've asked about Facebook ads say they DO notice and click on them. Some of the FB ads are horrendous, made to be ultra simple with one image, one headline, and one short blurb. It's designed inside the FB environment which makes it reallly easy to create an ad yourself but that also means anyone Tom, Dick, and Sally can make one - such as the below atrocious example of letting the mass get creative (for more examples, click here):











I come from the world of rich media campaigns with fancy rollovers, expanding skyscraper units, mini-site-in-a-box, video embedded, eyeblasters, etc etc etc, so it is really refreshing to see ads that are simple with nothing running across the page or some art director's clever trompe l'oiele spicy chicken sandwich "burning a hole" in my browser page. An effective one-hitter.

So how effective have my two ads been? Well, its only been 3 days but it is really exciting to log on every few hours to see how many clicks they've gotten. The numbers keep climbing up! Creating the ad itself is really easy. Then you can select who you want to target via age, sex, relationship status, geographic location, etc. You can further target users who may already be connected to your fan page (if you have one) or users who are NOT connected to a specific fan page. You can select how long the campaign will last, and you can specify how much money you are willing to spend a day based on clicks and/or impressions. (Clicks are when a user actually clicks on your banner and impressions just mean when the ad is served up and appears on a user's page). I have also learned some do's and don'ts in my playing around. For instance, targeting too many groups based on "interests" will limit how often your ad is served up which means less people see it and less clicks and less effective. Unless you are VERY specific and selling something like "dwarf frog fans who like to cross-dress as devil clowns" then I would suggest skipping that "Interests" part completely. If you are selling an event, you definitely want to reach as many people as possible. Facebook is also very strict about not showing nudity so I had to crop my pictures a few times until the ads were approved. Be selective about the words you choose too. They don't allow any porn or dirty words like "cum". ha ha.

One last thing, as a Facebook abuser, I don't want to leave the page. It annoys me if I click on an ad and it replaces the page I was on. So make sure you create an event page first then create an ad that links to that event instead of an external link to another site. Here's someone's write-up about how he didn't like FB ads. He has some good points. I think it's still a good place to try out your target audience, especially if you are trying to build brand awareness. FB's impressions alone is worth it.

I'm so psyched about having the weekend off to work on my new piece for Coco de Mer. Monday night is Beatles Burlesque. And based on what I'm hearing, it's going to be really packed! There may be free delicious nibbles (not niPPles) passed out at this show. :)

I Showed My Vag

This month marks the one year anniversary of when I decided to stick all of my head (and all my bountiful hair) into the world of burlesque. I mark the date as the day I started kittening and the day I debuted at The Slipper Room in Jo's Beginning burlesque student showcase show. That was April 25th, 2009 - I believe. I had a three-way party after the debut and remember trekking over to Williamsburg immediately afterwards.

I have not stopped to do all that reflection bullshit on how much I've accomplished. I feel that is way too self-congratulatory right now to do. If I want to feel self-congratulatory, I'll just do a heap of cocaine on a night off. But - having said that - I will take this moment to self congratulate myself on the badass awesomeness that was Beatles Burlesque on Monday night!

To date, this was my best. I mean as a creator, producer, and hostess. I did not perform in the inaugural show because I had my hands and head full of a million other details of getting the band rehearsal time, coordinating who is doing what number, promotion, and running two other shows and a bunch of other secret pursuits I'm on. And of course, the night of the show I had to start a new day time job at a new agency which in hindsight was a blessing in disguise cause I was forced to think about something else all day instead of micromanaging and obsessing. I was really tired having to go straight from work to Public Assembly for sound check, but nothing a shot of whiskey can't fix.

The energy was tremendous from the minute I got there. Honi was setting up her elaborate setup for Blackbird, the boys in the band looked so great in their first set outfits: black suit jacket, white shirt, and skinny black tie. The gogo dancers looked fantastic in their fringey outfits. I love it when the visuals come together and its one big spectacle. My MC outfit was a big fro with a little silver thing with lots of silver fringe and white gogo knee boots with my old raver days white fur bootie covers. Yes, I used to go to raves... glow sticks and mini backpacks and all... sad days.

We started on time and opened the show with 2 songs by Ticket to Ride. I was also really excited for Brassy cause this is the first show I've done with her where she is providing the lead vocals on all the songs. I kept asking her if the sets were too long but she rocked it out. It was fucking amazing to hear her with a live band doing rock versions of Beatles. The performers really brought it - there's something about a live band that changes the experience of burlesque. I booked these girls specifically because they all have had lots of experience working with a live band. They can roll with it, improv, and don't need to adhere to a strict sound cue system. The band improvised on many songs and some songs were shortened and extended or had solo drums for instance. The band, the singer, and the performer - they are an organism on stage all working off of each other. As much as I would love to book new performers, this show is not a beginner showcase. I am consideromg adding one sacrificial lamb to be in the show. (Applications and concept proposals welcome! Send it to calamity@foxfatale.com)

A live band really adds to a show, I have to say. But it can be a delicate balance cause you don't want to feel like the band is competing with the dancers and vice versa. I think this time the format was successful because the band played some songs solo without dancers. Stormy Leather did a reverse strip to Sexy Sadie and she did a pretty fucking awesome piece to Revolution complete with a gas mask and a smoke bomb that was *this close* to lighting the curtain on fire. Gal Friday was absolutely gorgeous and delicate and sublime in this pink gown (that she made herself might I add) to Dear Prudence and then she was a black clad, flame haired VAMP for Helter Skelter. Honi's Drive My Car was so hilarious and the audience loved her stage set ups. Madame Rosebud did two crazy acts both of which ended with her doing something nasty to Brassy. I told her (Rosebud) backstage that her performances always veer on the edge of complete abandonment which is transfixing and why she has a signature mark and is so in demand. We talked some more about performativity as I counted out the tip hat. In the end, Brassy closed with "Let It Be" - so beautiful the way they played it and the way she sang it. Oh yes and I flashed my vag at curtain call. I felt like I teased and provoked all night and didn't perform so that was the least I could contribute to humanity - my vag show. The audience was amazing. The energy was so high. I think we all felt high the next day too. Luma Rouge attended and illustrated the show, prints available for purchase. Juliet Jeske blogged about the show. Stay tuned for Burlesque Magazine's review of the show, and Melody Mudd's slideshow for Cultural Capital!

For next month's show on May 10, I will be doing a "Yoko" spoken word performance piece and close with an act. Plus a projected slideshow! woo! The band and Brassy stays. The performer line up may vary and the song list will vary. But here's the set list from Monday for those who are curious:

Ticket to Ride
I Saw Her Standing There
Sexy Sadie
Dear Prudence
Happiness is a Warm Gun
Mean Mr. Muster
Drive My Car
Daytripper
I Me Mine
Blackbird
Revolution
Eleanor Rigby
Helter Skelter
Why Don't We Do It in the Road
Let It Be

Beatles Burlesque April 12, 2010

My mind is all about the "Beatles Burlesque" show coming up in a couple of weeks! The band, Ticket to Ride, have been rehearsing and holy crap they sound so rock and so amazing. Honi came by yesterday to rehearse her song too. The gogo dancers are planning the costumes, the flyer is done, the web site done, the line up is settled, press has been contacted. It's all coming together so well.

I'm a happy camper for sho. Happy everyone is having a good time prepping and enthusiastic and if I can buy pizza to keep the boys fueled, I do. Matt had the idea of shooting the band picture in a Chinese take out restaurant being that this is a "Calamity Chang" production and all - I love it. It's kitschy and very much in the spirit of burlesque. The boys look yummy. I would want to sleep with them if I saw them play especially the one on the left. (I wrote that cause I know you are reading this, you know who you are!)


TICKET TO RIDE!

I'm also very happy to report that Honi Harlow has asked me to be a regular at her monthly show "Harlow's Hideaway" at Fontana's on Eldridge Street! This is my first regular gig outside of my own shows and I'm fuckin thrilled!!! You have no idea how nice it feels sometimes to just go and do an act and enjoy a show, and not be the producer, the MC, the one that has to keep time and keep things together. Now the first Mondays of every month will be my un-manic Mondays! I also love this opportunity because Fontana's is walking distance so that saves me cab fare.

Wonton Tacos

• 11th Avenue
• $20 cab ride
• A slippery stage
• Zipper malfunction

That about sums up the first part of my Saturday night at the Cain Luxe show! The space is beautiful adorned with what I assume to be faux elephant tusks as giant pillars surrounding the room and antelope horns as doorhandles. In the center of the room is a skinny long catwalk flanked by loungey sofas on either side. The lighting technician was great. He was professional and helped me figure out how to find a chair for one act (the club did not have a chair to use as a prop). The bartender...not so great. She ignored me and another girl while she was busy making googly eyes with the manager. We must have asked her for a drink three times before she finally turned around and was like, "Oh, sorry..." Whatever! The only sorry here is your brain, lady! This kind of attitude only further confirms my belief that Meatpacking nightclubs only attracts ugly people and it also further affirms my decision to not venture west of 7th Avenue and north of 14th Street (except when having to work or go to Conway or to fabric stores or see a film or try a new hot restaurant or visit a good friend).

I did meet the other performers who were cool, funny women. There was a modern dancer named Jasmin and this girl had the BEST sculpted thighs I've ever seen. You can tell she's been dancing all her life just by her legs. They were like thighs you see in anatomy books where you can see every muscle group. There was a belly dancer named Elektra who I really liked too. The show was billed as "Belly Dance vs. Burlesque" but it wasn't a real competition. At the end of the show the MC decided it was a tie. Scout Durwood was there too but I missed her act because I had to change. My first act was the nun and the only "stage" big enough to fit a fold-up chair was above the speakers which meant there wasn't enough room to walk around the chair, and it was very hard climbing up and down the platform on six inch platform vinyl boots. This is Suck Part Uno.

Suck Part Dos: Second act debut of Enter Sandman. The catwalk is slippery. Too slippery to really be suitable for performing. Elektra and Jasmin both danced barefoot and said it was slippery for them. I slipped a little climbing onto it. (Again, why am I climbing in the first place???) First minute goes well as planned. Prop opens as planned. Gloves come off as planned. Dudes love the song so that's already working in my favor. The costume is elaborate, another plus. When it came time for the zipper, STUCK STUCK STUCK!!! The little motherfucker would NOT budge and if this skirt doesn't come off the rest of the costume wont come off. I finally had to just throw out all choreography or structure and just improvise. Thankfully for the group of enthusiastic Metallica heads on the side, I asked one of the guys to open the zipper and sure enough, he unzipped it lickety split with one swift pull and ended my misery. Oh, sweet death.

After Cain, I headed over to Floating Kabarett at Galapagos dropping another $20 something in cab fare. Too many props and I hate taking public transportation in drag. I was so happy to be there and see Brassy, Michael, Diane, and Rosebud. It was a good night there for most part except sound was off cue most of the night. I did Sandman again at Kabarett and I realized that doing Cain was good because if the zipper fuck up happened here instead of there, there would be NO audience nearby to help unzip me. I would have been FUCKED and probably never get booked there again! The burlesque gods must have been watching out for me. Thank you! The last act was messed up because sound didn't have the overlay track that was supposed to play along with Brassy and Michael. So they stood there for a seemingly infinite amount of time on stage waiting for the track to start, then finally sound just played the original track and I just had to come out and dance. Brassy and Michael had to just step off to the side of the stage. I was pissed about that. Bjorn and Olga covered this slip up so good though. They said, "Wow, that was so postmodern." Haha. I was a total pomo-head in college and I love that kind of theory humour. Bjorn and Olga introduces me as someone who they found in the midwest eating wonton tacos. Then he was telling me that "wonton tacos" really exist at Applebees!
If that's not proof that we have finally made the cross-over, I don't know what would. Wontons at Applebees! It's time to start the Chinese Pride Parade!

After the show I hung out with Rosebud because she's in my Beatles Burlesque show at Public Assembly on April 12. We talked about the acts she is doing for it and I can't wait to see them! The show line-up is intense! Confirmed performers are Gal Friday, Stormy Leather, Honi Harlow, Madame Rosebud, and Broadway Brassy. Then I realized I was STARVING!! The only thing I ate that day was 4 chicken nuggest and some fries at noon. So we called Arecibo and went to the only place open 24/7 in Lower East Side: Remedy Diner. I had a turkey sandwich and Michael had a burger. I thought it was really good! The lettuce was crisp and clean, the bread was good, and I loved sitting at the counter overhearing drunk people's phone conversations with other drunk people on the other line.