Room 69 @ Hotel Chantelle

I keep saying I am not going to produce or start a new show but I just couldn't say NO to Hotel Chantelle! This place is absolutely GORGEOUS inside w/a vintage-inspired Parisienne wallpaper that's very Art Nouveau, big tall red leather banquettes (watch out stilettos!), a beautiful curved bar and delicious tasting and sounding cocktails such as "The Bramble" and "The Whiskey Tango." PLUS - the real bonus is that it's close to my house which also makes me happy cause it saves on transportation cost to and from. The flyer is below. As you can see, the line-up is pretty fucking killer. I am stoked to work with these ladies all under one tin-stamped roof. The show is free and there will be specialty $8 cocktails available during the show. Charlie Gunn will be our kitten and I'm excited to work with her. She is new to the scene and it's always great to meet new burlesquers. PS: for those who don't know the term "Blind Tiger Hour" its an old term for "speakeasy". I hate "happy hour" - it makes me think of boring guys in suits from Wall Street.

Room 69: The Hotel Chantelle Way

Everything Tastes Better from a Bowl

I just want to take this moment to say that I prefer using a bowl to eat food out of instead of plates. Even a deep-dish plate is preferred over a plate where all my food and whatever delicious sauce runs amock and all the flavors are not combined.

Left on my own in the apartment for a week you will only find a dish rack of bowls and no plates in sight. I thought this was because of my Chinese background but apparently Gal Friday told me it's also a real redneck hick thing! She said she likes to put all her food in a bowl too so all the flavors are combined. I couldn't agree more! It's like a burrito.

One of my favorite things to eat is pan-seared chicken breast over quinoa and topped with sauteed mushrooms with red wine reduction. I couldn't imagine eating this on a plate! Where would all the chicken juice go to if not soaked up by quinoa? The travesty!

 

Better in a Bowl!

Electroluminescent Wire

Corset with EL lighting & Little Stormy's hat

To be deconstructed and re-fashioned by Liz!

I'm doing a new act this Sunday at The Standard for their Sunday Bingo party. It's a custom act for Chris who is throwing the party. I am SO excited about this outfit and act! Just LOOK at it! Besides the fact that Little Stormy made me a hat that matches perfectly - the corset lights up like Tron using two battery packs that I velcro-ed to the back of the corset. The wire is called EL (electroluminescene) wire and it's soft enough to adhere to your clothes. It's what Daft Punk used to make their famous suits as seen below.

My corset at The Standard's Sunday Bingo party

I am so inspired by this wire. I used thin fishing wire to sew the wire along the seams of the corset. This was painstaking and took two nights AND broke a needle. I originally made this with Kylie Minoque's "Speakerphone" in mind - which I am still developing but for this Sunday I'm doing a bared-down version to Santogold's "You'll Find a Way" the Switch & Sinden remix. I'm hoping to finish making the "inside" part of the costume with the longer wire I have. My vision is to construct the wire around my body as if I am wearing a cupless bra and thongs that light up in the end.

Backstage Series

in no particular order, some backstage pics i've been collecting to kill time backstage.

The Tank, Tansy's show

The Tank with Albert Cadabra

Public Assembly's old dressing room in the alley

Colorado Burlesque Festival, most pampered backstage ever by Big Mama Red.

Colorado Burlesque Festival

Coney Island Freak Show, Jo Boob's TeaBaggin sbow, Johnny Porkpie & Rosabelle Selavy

Palace of Wonders, D.C., Albert's show with Gigi Lafemme

Palace of Wonders D.C.

Vig 27, Meaner Harder, Leather

Palace of Wonders, D.C., Sugar Shack Show, Ekat

Palace again

Palace again, the nun act did not go that well with the audience there. LOL.

Palace with Sue's crew: Scooter Pie, Ekat, Sue

Before makeup!

Under St. Mark's Theater, REVEALED show

Upstairs at Public Assembly, Beatles Burlesque

I can not remember where or what this is

Slipper Room, I think this is Jo's last Student Showcase there

Bar on A, Kitty Nights

Hotel Básico, Playa del Carmen Mexico
performing at Darren & Danae's wedding

Ella Lounge, Kiki Valentine's show

My Top 10 of 2010

10. Birthday Limo & BBQ in Harlem
I celebrated my 35th birthday in style in an old-skool limo by Al's Limo with ten of my friends! The limo came equipped with beer and we came equipped with champagne on our way to dinner at Dinosaur BBQ up in Harlem. The limo also picked us up and took us back downtown after the meaty dinner after which I don't remember what I ended up doing...

Al''s limo. Courtesy of Dan Kim.

09. First Time in LA & First Burlesque Festival
I went to LA for the first time ever last year, and much to many of my hardcore New York friends' chagrin, I loved it! I loved driving the Mustang rental, I loved the sunshine, and I really liked seeing palm trees everywhere. I was there to work on a project that my ex-partner and I collaborated on for Trojan Condoms. It was an artist project grant, but unfortunately and VERY disappointingly, after all the hard work on everyone's part (writer, designer, photographer, numerous friends who were in the cast), the project never launched due to their legal department never finding time to approve all the copy and imagery. But you can still see how awesome the photography is, the re-writing of Homer's Odyssey as told through two young contemporary lovers is hilarious, and the design is fun! Trojan Odyssey.

Somewhere near Laurel Canyon I think...

I was also accepted to be a part of the Colorado Burlesque Festival headed by three fierce ladies: Midnight Martini, Lola Spitfire, and Fannie Spankings - This was my first festival! 

Performing at Colorado Burlesque Festival

08. Subway Sandwiches 
Don't knock it till you try it - at least try the RIGHT sandwich. I am a die-hard fan of Subway Sandwiches. If there was a Jarred of Burlesque for Subway, that would be me. I don't get the processed meat sandwiches, I get the veggie patty which apparently is made by the people who make Gardenburger and it's a favorite among vegetarians if you google it. My mom gave me a $100 Subway sandwich gift card and then another $50 for my birthday last year. I swear to god, you will lose weight eating their sandwiches and NOT feel hungry all the time. This is the sandwich I get every time: Foot long wholewheat toasted with veggie patty, lettuce, tomato, olives, salt & pepper, and one line of either light mayo or light Ranch. 


07. THE Jovani Dress Part I
Ah, the coveted dress that I decided was too expensive but couldn't forget it, then decided I would get it after two cocktails in the afternoon, then changed my mind at the store, then got it online for $100 less and free shipping! This dress is my big investment and every time I wear it, I feel like a Korean TV actress on a variety show from the 90's! Unfortunately for my bank account, Jovani just came out with a new version of this dress that costs twice as much...yikes...

"THE" Dress with my gal pals in Colorado

"THE" Dress Part II...

06. Exercise
...in the form of gogo dancing! I am loath to go to the gym so I rehearse a lot at home, and sometimes even if I'm not working on a routine, I discovered how much I love dancing in the living room to my favorite playlist. On top of that, you can work out a lot of moves you may want to try in your act AND you're getting PAID to exercise! Who gets that going to the gym? As of December 2010, this was on my favorite dance playlist:

Switch Hitter (Diamondsnake)
Show Stopper (Peaches)
Only Seventeen (Skid Row)
AA XXX (Peaches)
Wherever I May Roam (Metallica)
Lust for Life (Iggy Pop)
We Are the Boys (Pulp)
Drunken Butterfly (Sonic Youth)
Foxy Lady (Jimi Hendrix)
20th Century Boy (T-Rex)
Rock N Roll Dream (Diamondsnake)


05. Masturbation
Masturbation is critical to a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes it's helpful when you have insomnia, and sometimes when you have indigestion. Or if you are just bored. Here are my favorite sites to go to: YouPorn, RedTube, and if you are too lazy to get out of bed go to BangYouLater for your iPhone!

04. Discoveries Such as New Friends, Partnerships, and the Fact That I am a Closeted Vegetarian

"Drunken Dragon Nights" at Macao. Courtesy Aaron Blakely.

2010 was full of opportunities in developing relationships with venues where I do regular shows. I just want to take this moment to thank the partners of Macao Trading Company and Employees Only along with their stellar staff who always make us feel pampered and taken care of at "Drunken Dragon Nights" and "Silky Sundays". Plus all the other special events that I do at both places. It makes me feel very happy to continue working with them. Codo de Mer NY gets another big shout out. It's been an absolute pleasure getting to know the Arscotts, Romina, Abby, and their clientele. Meeting Sam Roddick and hearing her lecture on sex, pleasure, and the idea of the "ethical slut" was thought provoking. I've made really great friends and friendships that have grown. 

Rebecca & I at another one of Dan's epicurean feasts. By Dan Kim.

Lastly, I've discovered or rather finally faced up to the fact that I really like vegetarian food such as seitan, tempeh, kale, brown rice, etc. My favorite meal last year (after Subway) is Sliced Seitan with brown rice and steamed kale with ginger sauce with steamed squash that I get at Gobo. It always make me feel SO great after eating this meal, super energetic and happy. And I have become addicted to quinoa YUMMMMMMM!!!

Hiro Ballroom with Michael for some big photographer's birthday party

03. Hello Kitty/"Asian Hooker" Act 
One thing that LA gets and NYC doesn't is irony and hair metal. Every time I've done my Hello Kitty/Asian Hooker act, someone in the audience always asks, "What is that music you were using?" Steel Panther may be HUGE in LA but here on the somber, take-oneself-so-seriously East coast, no one seems to know who they are! Maybe twice some cool guy in the audience will come up to me and with half-stunned, half-grinning expression say, "Was that Steel Panther?" I was introduced to the Panther via Michael Webb. The first time I heard "Asian Hooker" it hooked me. Haha. Developing this act was really hard and it took me many, many times to get it right. First of all, it's impossible to see out of the head so rehearsing in this costume is just frustrating. Then one time I danced backwards thinking I was facing the audience and when the head came off, I realized I was facing the back of the stage! Luckily, one 6 people were in attendance. Embellishing the costume took even more trials and tribulations, figuring out how to "message" the act via clothing took a while, and then how to address the "mouthless/voiceless" aspect of Hello Kitty's depiction. And I wanted to abandon the act several times but I forced myself to see it through. It even stirred some controversy at Honi's show when Russell Simmons was in attendance! Now it's exactly where I want it to be and I LOVE her skanky ass. Here's an awesome play-by-play photo series of this act taken by Paul Ferris.


02. New Apartment
Last year I finally and successfully dug myself out of my 300 sq. feet studio apartment in Chinatown after 5 years of "doing time" next to a noisy, cheating lesbian, noise on the street, and finding empty cocaine pouches in the hallway of stupid neighbors who work in fashion. Getting into this apartment was no easy feat but it was all worth it in the end because my life quality has increased tenfold. All the stars were aligned in my favor including the right person to live with which leads to my number 1 of 2010...

When we first moved in during the biggest snowstorm of 2010...

01. MICHAEL WEBB!

He satisfies me in every way. Enuff said!!!

FaceBook-Unfriendly Photos

Since Facebook won't let me post these pictures on my Fan Page, these are some awesome pictures from the last Coco de Mer show with Ruby Valentine, Nikki LeVillain and myself. These photos were taken by Stacie Joy and Ed Barnas. To see the rest of the sets, click here.

Me

Nikki Le Villain

The Grand Finale

Ruby Valentine

Nikki LeVillain

Performing at Private Events vs. Performing at a Show

Doing atmosphere work at French Tuesdays

Fun party, great people, and international

There are many advantages to performing at a private event. Most of the time because it's a private party, the producers/bookers have a bigger budget for talent so that means you get paid more. The downside is the "atmosphere" work you often have to do. You can't just sink back into your leggings, rock tshirt, and biker boots, hang out backstage then bail. You will have to put on a pretty dress, put those heels back on, go out and mingle with the partygoers who are usually drunk but you are sober. But this is just part of the job description and I don't mind it, in fact, I do enjoy it. The key to a private party gig, I find, is who is doing it with you. That can make a huge difference between a shitty experience where you feel dumb (which I will describe in a minute) or having an amazing time feeling really good about yourself and what you do. A good example of a positive experience was the French Tuesdays party that I did a few months ago with Veronica Varlow. It was hard work, two acts, two gogo sets, and hanging out for photo with people. But the organizers were SO nice and really great so it was way fun. The people at this party were friendly, outgoing, and they danced just as much as we did. The staff at the venue were absolutely accommodating and helped Vlo schlep her luggage up and down the stairs. THIS was a great experience plus she's a pleasure to be around which rounded out the night quite well.

At a private party there is typically no tipping so whatever the organizer agreed to that's what you'll get at the end of the night. This is an advantage over performing at a show where you (generally) don't get a guarantee and have to wait til the end of the night after the house sorts out the cover and count all the money then you get your share. You never know if you'll be going home with $30 or $80 or $12...

Veronica doing a fan dance number

From a producer's point of view to work a private event you should mentally prepare yourself for lots of unexpected changes, lack of structure, need to improvise on the fly. When you gig at a show, there is a producer and a host. Often these two roles are one, as in all my shows to save money. Shows have a structure: first set, intermission, second set, curtain call. There's a line-up. Someone will intro and out-tro you. In my opinion, one of the most important roles the host should play is crowd control. It is the host's (or producer) job to make people clear the space if there is no real stage (as in my Drunken Dragon Nights show at Macao Trading Company). It is also his/her job to set up what is about to happen, what the audience is about to see, and how to react. This is why we all do the whole "burletique 101" stint in the beginning just to be sure people know what to expect. I do it so the crowd knows that I will kick someone out if they are rude or disrespectful. Before I started doing burlesque a long time ago, I went to see a show at the Slipper Room with a group of Irish guys who I barely knew and they were so obnoxious screaming stuff like "show us your tits!" and "take your shirt off!" all the usual I'm-a-stupid-straight-man-moronic shit. So we got kicked out! I was so impressed with that. It made a lasting impression on me. From hence forth I said to myself, "If I ever have a show and that power that's exactly what I want to do." And now I have the verbal power and luckily the muscle power of Stephen and Craig at Nurse Bettie to back me up as well as Dushan, Igor, Mauricio, and all the other eastern European studs at Macao to pull a Eastern Promises on unruly assholes.

The host also should set up the performers to build anticipation and also to start reining in the focal point in the room. Albert Cadabra and Bastard Keith are really great and masters at making every performer sound like a fucking nuclear A-BOMB of hotness! It doesn't matter if you believe it or not, but the words make a difference to the audience. These are all advantages of working a well-produced show. There are many out there but there are also many lackluster sloppy shows.

Also at private events, there is often no host or MC to intro or out-tro you. You are lucky if there's a microphone. If someone does intro you count your lucky stars. In the worst case scenario someone with a meek voice will attempt to call attention to the ground-level circular space where you are standing in costume waiting to do your thing - awkwardly. No one cheers. They just stare because no one told them they can clap and cheer during a burlesque tease. When you are finished, no one out-tros you so you smile and do a showboat stance and um... bend down to pick up your own clothes like an out-of-style stripper working a cheap strip joint in buttfuck nowhere, USA. In another scenario as recently experienced by yours truly, you come out to do your act but there is no stage so you start to dance in the middle of the dance floor and a drunk douche bag siddles up to you in the straight-guy-thrusting-his-groin-with-legs-spread-open-hey-this-is-me-dancing move and tries to dance WITH you WHILE you are doing your act! Or, drunk partiers who obviously resent the music being stopped and having to watch some stupid burlesque act and push you to get around the dancefloor WHILE you are doing your act. Or, photographers who stand in front of you to take photos of someone else WHILE you are doing your act. Or, hey one more, the chair you asked for a million times isn't there so you improvise and stand with one leg on a soft cushy couch and then end up falling down while pulling out the rosary beads out of your vajay with a cloth gag in your mouth! I've never felt more DUMB. Lack of a stage is the primary disadvantage in my mind for working private events. I don't like being close to people this is why I don't attend concerts. And as the previous example demonstrates lack of spatial separation between performer and audience can lead to unhappy calamities.


New Year's Eve at Macao Trading Company!

One last thing to beware of about private parties. Expectations. Some generally have never seen burlesque and have no idea what we are, what we do or don't do. Again, this is the host's job to set the proper tone and mood. Many, I swear to beelzebub, think we are escorts, call girls, or strippers. They will make suggestions about taking drugs together, sharing a cab, sit on their laps, or as Sapphire Jones recently told me about her experience (with her permission to retell this), directly asked her if she is still "escorting" after she spent 15 minutes conversing about her career in acting, her boyfriend, her dog...My advice? If you feel uncomfortable, say so nicely. Your integrity is more important than whatever the pay is. And you have to protect that.

Not every private party is like this. Not every show is "amazing great fun" either. I'm only listing general advantages and disadvantages. Most of the time the downside of private parties have nothing to do with the people who actually booked the event. They are often nice professional people who really want to create a kickass event but are just new to having burlesque at their events. The organizers often don't have a good grasp of what kind of acts will go over well at private events. Understandly they want to create a "WOW" moment for their attendees but due to all the aforementioned limitations with space, lighting, setup, I would say, PLAY IT SAFE and do classic, glamorous straight-up strip tease with room for improving and moving around. Nothing with a heavy narrative or proprs or that requires paying attention throughout to "get it".

Continuing BS from Facebook

So the police have written me back about my disabled account due to "fake name" usage. Below is our correspondence:


From Facebook:
> Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2010 09:41:07 -0800
> To: foxfatalelives@hotmail.com
> From: info+j8ygng@support.facebook.com
> Subject: Re: Disabled - Fake Name
>
> Hi Calamity,
>
> Facebook does not allow users to sign up with certain names that may be fake or associated with fake accounts. While we realize this verification method may prevent some users with legitimate names from registering, we feel this policy is currently the best method to prevent against malicious and fake accounts on the site.
>
> We can assist you with your request, but we will need additional information. Please reply to this email with a scanned image of a government-issued photo ID (e.g., driver’s license) in order to verify your name. Please black out any personal information that is not needed to verify your identity (e.g., social security number). Rest assured that we will permanently delete your ID from our servers once we have used it to verify your real name.
>
> Additionally, please include all of our previous correspondence so that we can refer to your original email. Once we have received this information, we will reevaluate the status of the account. Please note that we will not be able to process your request unless you send in proper identification. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
>
> If you have further questions about our name policies, please visit our Help Center:
>
> http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=12964
>
> Thanks for contacting Facebook,
>
> Jill
> User Operations
> Facebook


My Reply:
I certainly have no problems with proving that I'm not some evil corporation claiming to be an individual so I can inflitrate people's wallets. But I DO have an issue with sending YOU (evil corporation seems like) who want to see a government issue ID. Do you know how many performers and actors are using Facebook under their performance names out there? Are we all under this type of scrutiny or is it just me?? I have not only been happy using FB as the primary platform to promote live performance art in NYC but also to invite new fans to join the FB community. Not only that, I have spend ALOT of money buying FB ads as well.

I am being treated absolutely unfairly due to this "fake name" issue. If this is something you really uphold, then you should go and delete or disable ALL performers on Facebook who are just trying to make a living being a clown, magician, or etc etc. Why don't you delete Dita Von Tease's profile? That's not her legal name.