My Top 10 of 2010

10. Birthday Limo & BBQ in Harlem
I celebrated my 35th birthday in style in an old-skool limo by Al's Limo with ten of my friends! The limo came equipped with beer and we came equipped with champagne on our way to dinner at Dinosaur BBQ up in Harlem. The limo also picked us up and took us back downtown after the meaty dinner after which I don't remember what I ended up doing...

Al''s limo. Courtesy of Dan Kim.

09. First Time in LA & First Burlesque Festival
I went to LA for the first time ever last year, and much to many of my hardcore New York friends' chagrin, I loved it! I loved driving the Mustang rental, I loved the sunshine, and I really liked seeing palm trees everywhere. I was there to work on a project that my ex-partner and I collaborated on for Trojan Condoms. It was an artist project grant, but unfortunately and VERY disappointingly, after all the hard work on everyone's part (writer, designer, photographer, numerous friends who were in the cast), the project never launched due to their legal department never finding time to approve all the copy and imagery. But you can still see how awesome the photography is, the re-writing of Homer's Odyssey as told through two young contemporary lovers is hilarious, and the design is fun! Trojan Odyssey.

Somewhere near Laurel Canyon I think...

I was also accepted to be a part of the Colorado Burlesque Festival headed by three fierce ladies: Midnight Martini, Lola Spitfire, and Fannie Spankings - This was my first festival! 

Performing at Colorado Burlesque Festival

08. Subway Sandwiches 
Don't knock it till you try it - at least try the RIGHT sandwich. I am a die-hard fan of Subway Sandwiches. If there was a Jarred of Burlesque for Subway, that would be me. I don't get the processed meat sandwiches, I get the veggie patty which apparently is made by the people who make Gardenburger and it's a favorite among vegetarians if you google it. My mom gave me a $100 Subway sandwich gift card and then another $50 for my birthday last year. I swear to god, you will lose weight eating their sandwiches and NOT feel hungry all the time. This is the sandwich I get every time: Foot long wholewheat toasted with veggie patty, lettuce, tomato, olives, salt & pepper, and one line of either light mayo or light Ranch. 


07. THE Jovani Dress Part I
Ah, the coveted dress that I decided was too expensive but couldn't forget it, then decided I would get it after two cocktails in the afternoon, then changed my mind at the store, then got it online for $100 less and free shipping! This dress is my big investment and every time I wear it, I feel like a Korean TV actress on a variety show from the 90's! Unfortunately for my bank account, Jovani just came out with a new version of this dress that costs twice as much...yikes...

"THE" Dress with my gal pals in Colorado

"THE" Dress Part II...

06. Exercise
...in the form of gogo dancing! I am loath to go to the gym so I rehearse a lot at home, and sometimes even if I'm not working on a routine, I discovered how much I love dancing in the living room to my favorite playlist. On top of that, you can work out a lot of moves you may want to try in your act AND you're getting PAID to exercise! Who gets that going to the gym? As of December 2010, this was on my favorite dance playlist:

Switch Hitter (Diamondsnake)
Show Stopper (Peaches)
Only Seventeen (Skid Row)
AA XXX (Peaches)
Wherever I May Roam (Metallica)
Lust for Life (Iggy Pop)
We Are the Boys (Pulp)
Drunken Butterfly (Sonic Youth)
Foxy Lady (Jimi Hendrix)
20th Century Boy (T-Rex)
Rock N Roll Dream (Diamondsnake)


05. Masturbation
Masturbation is critical to a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes it's helpful when you have insomnia, and sometimes when you have indigestion. Or if you are just bored. Here are my favorite sites to go to: YouPorn, RedTube, and if you are too lazy to get out of bed go to BangYouLater for your iPhone!

04. Discoveries Such as New Friends, Partnerships, and the Fact That I am a Closeted Vegetarian

"Drunken Dragon Nights" at Macao. Courtesy Aaron Blakely.

2010 was full of opportunities in developing relationships with venues where I do regular shows. I just want to take this moment to thank the partners of Macao Trading Company and Employees Only along with their stellar staff who always make us feel pampered and taken care of at "Drunken Dragon Nights" and "Silky Sundays". Plus all the other special events that I do at both places. It makes me feel very happy to continue working with them. Codo de Mer NY gets another big shout out. It's been an absolute pleasure getting to know the Arscotts, Romina, Abby, and their clientele. Meeting Sam Roddick and hearing her lecture on sex, pleasure, and the idea of the "ethical slut" was thought provoking. I've made really great friends and friendships that have grown. 

Rebecca & I at another one of Dan's epicurean feasts. By Dan Kim.

Lastly, I've discovered or rather finally faced up to the fact that I really like vegetarian food such as seitan, tempeh, kale, brown rice, etc. My favorite meal last year (after Subway) is Sliced Seitan with brown rice and steamed kale with ginger sauce with steamed squash that I get at Gobo. It always make me feel SO great after eating this meal, super energetic and happy. And I have become addicted to quinoa YUMMMMMMM!!!

Hiro Ballroom with Michael for some big photographer's birthday party

03. Hello Kitty/"Asian Hooker" Act 
One thing that LA gets and NYC doesn't is irony and hair metal. Every time I've done my Hello Kitty/Asian Hooker act, someone in the audience always asks, "What is that music you were using?" Steel Panther may be HUGE in LA but here on the somber, take-oneself-so-seriously East coast, no one seems to know who they are! Maybe twice some cool guy in the audience will come up to me and with half-stunned, half-grinning expression say, "Was that Steel Panther?" I was introduced to the Panther via Michael Webb. The first time I heard "Asian Hooker" it hooked me. Haha. Developing this act was really hard and it took me many, many times to get it right. First of all, it's impossible to see out of the head so rehearsing in this costume is just frustrating. Then one time I danced backwards thinking I was facing the audience and when the head came off, I realized I was facing the back of the stage! Luckily, one 6 people were in attendance. Embellishing the costume took even more trials and tribulations, figuring out how to "message" the act via clothing took a while, and then how to address the "mouthless/voiceless" aspect of Hello Kitty's depiction. And I wanted to abandon the act several times but I forced myself to see it through. It even stirred some controversy at Honi's show when Russell Simmons was in attendance! Now it's exactly where I want it to be and I LOVE her skanky ass. Here's an awesome play-by-play photo series of this act taken by Paul Ferris.


02. New Apartment
Last year I finally and successfully dug myself out of my 300 sq. feet studio apartment in Chinatown after 5 years of "doing time" next to a noisy, cheating lesbian, noise on the street, and finding empty cocaine pouches in the hallway of stupid neighbors who work in fashion. Getting into this apartment was no easy feat but it was all worth it in the end because my life quality has increased tenfold. All the stars were aligned in my favor including the right person to live with which leads to my number 1 of 2010...

When we first moved in during the biggest snowstorm of 2010...

01. MICHAEL WEBB!

He satisfies me in every way. Enuff said!!!