25 Days of Tease 2015: The Full Clip

Thank you for watching my 2015 Advent Calendar striptease set on my Instagram account! I've also re-shared every day's "tease clip" here on my blog for those of you who are not on Instagram. This series is truly one of my favorite projects to work on (besides my photography series 'Hotel Series') from concept-ing, location scouting, storyboarding, planning each clip, and editing. Creating this project is a great way to end the year for me and to get excited about the next year. I also believe that no one wants to watch full clips over 3 minutes long (I certainly don't), and Instagram is the perfect medium for the idea of "striptease". A "tease" is a tease, right? It should just be short enough to make you want more, yet long enough to give you a taste.

Here is the entire striptease clip in full over the span of 25 days. All camera work done by Mike Webb Photography. Copy by Grace Gotham. Happy new year, everyone!


Calamity Chang's #25DaysOfTease Advent Calendar 2015 from calamity chang on Vimeo.

Before There Was Sriracha, There Was Margaret Cho

I just came back from seeing Margaret Cho's PSYCHO tour in Westbury, NY tonight! I have never been to Westbury and don't know anything about this town other than that her tour was there tonight. We rented a car and drove out to see her in the middle of kinda of nowhere. The only other time I saw Margaret was the NOTORIOUS CHO in 2002 tour years ago in NYC. A lot has happened in her career (a few TV shows, several TV roles, a divorce, etc), and you really got a sense of the revolution of her as a comedienne (and one of my heroines), but more significantly of Margaret as a political activist. From her site:

This show is about insanity, and about the anger I feel about everything happening in the world right now, from police brutality to racism to the rising tide of violence against women. It makes me so crazy – hence the title: “THE PSYCHO TOUR” because there is no “I” in team but there is a “CHO” in psycho”.

Her show opened with a bang with Gina Yashere, a black British comedienne who absolutely slayed. Her set was TIGHT and so well delivered. I was inspired, smitten and pulled right into the CHO madness. Selene Luna followed second and she was so charming and obviously newly smitten in her own personal life as well as that was the central topic of her set. I've only seen Selene on Margaret's hilariously absurd episode in ABC's TV show Wife Swap so it was great to see her do her thing on stage. Selene said it best, this was the most diverse comedy show cast ever: an Asian, a British black woman, and a little person Selene, is there a punch line to this? Well, turns out there were quite a few. I won't give away any spoilers but I did learn several things about Margaret's checkered past and sad truths about her childhood that made my eyes water in the theater. By the time she got to her closing songs performed with the band Jane Lee Hooker, the "psy-cle" came full circle. One of the songs she sang was called "I want to kill my rapist" and I was shocked to see how complacent the audiences were during this obviously heavy song. I would say 90% of the audience were older white folks, which I was surprised by. Maybe because we were in Westbury, NY? Seriously like 90% of the people were older white folks, then you got your gay men's, and lesbians. But it wasn't the most diverse crowd. Again maybe cause it's Westbury? Traffic did take us 1.5 hours to get out there from the Lower East Side... I don't know but I do know that the raw emotion and energy Margaret and the band put into this particular song did not match the audience reaction. Just weird to hear a song like this and see everyone sitting down properly with their nice sweater sets and combed hair-dos. After the sets were over Selene announced that they were doing an impromptu meet-and-greet but only had 30 minutes since they had to get to the airport at 5am (ah, glamorous tour life!). Varla, Michael, and I waited at the wrong location in the lobby and before we knew it, the line was disappointingly long. But Michael, being the rock star that he is, got us in the VIP lounge where the cast was coming through on their way to the lobby! I really wanted to introduce myself to Margaret just to thank her for her continued support of the Asian Burlesque Spectacular show that I co-produced annually in NYC. She has tweeted about the show two years in a row (thanks to Jen Gapay). Plus, she is truly the first pioneer for Asian Americans in popular culture, before any feng shui, reiki, sriracha, and Fresh Off the Boat. Even Eddie Huang calls Margaret "Chobi-one-kenobi".

I went into the VIP Lounge to wait to ambush Margaret (haha), and there was a group of large white men Homer Simpson looking dudes standing around talking and drinking. The minute I walk in, one of them barked loudly, "Look! It's Margaret Cho's sister!" I was like WTF? Seriously? You are making this racist ignorant joke at Margaret Cho's show? I dryly replied, "No, she's the other Asian here tonight" and I don't think these Homer Simpsons got it at all. I shoulda said, "Look! It's a Homer Simpsons convention here." Who ARE these people who come to this show? One would think if you came to see Margaret Cho, you kinda get it or are in the tribe, no? Guess one can't control how one's message is received, who is receiving it, and what they take (or don't take) from it. Then again, maybe Westbury?

Anyway so finally Margaret and Selene came through with a security guy. Of course the Homers ambushed her first and I'm reminded of when I have to do meet and greets after shows and people want to say hello and thank yous etc when you just want to go to bed! Keeping that in mind I already unsheathed my phone out of my made in China vodka cover so I can get photos of her without taking up too much of her time. So when she came up I introduced myself and thank her for supporting the Asian Burlesque show. Then I asked her, "Why don't you want to do burlesque anymore?" Her reply, "Cause I don't want to wear makeup." LOL here's my face!

Go catch Margaret and her killer cast on this tour. It was absolutely inspiring and grounding to witness an intelligent, powerful and funny woman using the creative platform to raise political awareness with humour, wit, and some cultural i-ching shit thrown in (wink, wink). And if you don't like it, you are dead to me.

Me and Margaret. Thanks Michael for taking the photo!

Varla, me, and Margaret Cho

A Corset Story Love Story!

I recently received a gorgeous corset from Corset Story, and I am thrilled with how it fits, its quality, and the price point. They sell corsets in burlesque-inspired styles, steampunk styles, and a smaller section on Rockabilly clothing. I've been getting a lot of compliments about mine since I've been wearing it at my shows so I am sharing about them! There are more than one place to get a decent, well made, strong corset online than What Katie Did (overpriced IMHO), and more variety/colors than Orchard Corsets.

The corset I got is the Lavinia: Purple Halterneck Corset, an overbust-style in deep purple with black lace embroidery. I cut out the halterneck since I am not blessed with a swan-like neck. This halter would be more flattering on someone with a willowy 18th century neck!

Without the halterneck, the corset's sweetheart bustline is enhanced and for girls without bigger busts, it is absolutely devastating in a Jessica Rabbit-like way. Two different people complimented me that this corset's silhouette reminded them of Jessica Rabbit.

One of my off-the-rack corset pet peeves is the quality of the ribbon/lacing in the back. I was pleasantly surprised that I did not need to replace it. The black ribbon was sturdy and long enough  that it was instant fit and go! AND the corset came properly laced. SO crucial especially if you are new to corsets and not sure how to put it on. The Lavinia that I got is long but surprisingly it fit well on me and I was pleased with how it looks. Since I'm only 5'1" without heels my torso length isn't super long so often off-the-rack corsets are too long on me.

And at the current on sale price of $26 (!), this is the most cost-efficient, high quality corset that I've encountered in my 8 years burlesqui-ng. When I first started performing my knowledge about these things were naturally more limited. I had many corset "fails" by buying them on cheap lingerie sites such as Lingerie Diva, Love Honey, or ABCUnderwear. These sites are fine for buying basic undergarments to embellish and use as a base to build your costume from, but to get a good corset? FAIL. Even their more expensive ones (around $80 - rip off) is not steel but soft pliable plastic boning which will crumble and create unflattering creases around your waist. The lesson of the story? Invest in a good corset, practice opening and unlacing in your routine, and it'll last you forever.

Here is the Lavinia corset, and me wearing it at one of my recent shows. 

The one I got my eyes on is the Juliet Red Couture Corset. Isn't it just delish?

Interview with Calamity Chang, NYSB Instructor and Co-Producer of The Asian Burlesque Spectacle

schoolofburlesque:

NYSB: How did the Asian Burlesque Spectacular start? What’s it all about?



Calamity Chang: ABC started with a conversation with Sukki Singapora who is a co-producer of this event. Sukki, from Singapore, is very active in women’s rights in conservative Singapore so our conversation started on that thread, and a few Skype meetings later, the “Asian Burlesque Spectacular” was born. Sukki had always wanted to hold a giant burlesque show specifically for Asian or Asian origin performers, as a continuation from her society, The Singapore Burlesque Club (to promote and nurture Asian performers in environments where sometimes burlesque is a difficult choice, or perhaps not celebrated enough). We enlisted Thirsty Girl Productions (Jen Gapay) right away. With her acclaimed experience and finesse in producing, she was the obvious choice to help realize the dream.



NYSB: The Asian Burlesque Spectacular is in its second year now. What will differentiate the show from last year’s premiere? 



Calamity Chang: We have an entirely new cast and we are at DROM in the East Village this year. We have an incredible line-up featuring some heavy hitters like The Shanghai Pearl (Seattle), Cherry Typhoon (Montreal) and Orchid Mei (Denver) , as well as international performers like Violet Eva (Japan) and Miyuki Divine (Calgary, Canada). Our host this year is NYC drag extraordinaire Yuhua Hamasaki (Miss Asia NYC 2014 and Miss Fire Island 2012), and we have added a boylesque performer, Wrong Note Rusty (Toronto) this year for the first time as well.Lastly, we are proud to be officially sponsored by ByeJoe: Spirit of China. We are very excited about this particular sponsorship, because “baijiu” has been a traditional Chinese spirit but as “ByeJoe” the liquor is expanding to a more Western palate to appeal to a young, modern Asian audience.







(Above, Calamity Chang. Photo Photo by Michael Webb)



NYSB: While show is all current performers, there is a strong element of homage to burlesque legends performers as Barbara Yung and Mei Ling. How important was that in so far as a production decision? 



Calamity Chang: Tributes are important to us, because Asian burlesque legends were less well known and less celebrated than their Western counterparts. Last year Sukki and I did our tribute acts to Yung and Ling. Other performers did their own interpretation of what constitutes their “Asian-ness” or whether that is relevant to them as a performer. Having that variety added an interesting layer of texture to the show. That’s the key for us. We are not going around forcing people to do Asian acts or collecting acts to create some kind of hyper-sensitive, somber event. Some of the acts addressed current topics with a comedic twist. For example, last year Fancy Chance’s act was about a hungry Korean student and Stella Chuuu’s act was to Monty Python’s “I Love Chinese Food”. We also had Dame Cuchifrita’s beautiful and haunting piece which addressed the colonialization of Southeast Asian women and sexuality. Show us how your ethnicity has influenced you as a performer and the acts you create, or how it hasn’t. We also are in agreement that one does not have to be Asian to do an act that is Asian-inspired. It is important this year to not only grow the show, but also to celebrate Asian culture without making it inaccessible to any other cultural group. To quote The Shanghai Pearl, there is a difference between “appropriating” and “appreciating.” I don’t think people know the difference so ABS is trying to be part of the answer to that question.







(Above, Calamity Chang. Photo by Michael Webb)



NYSB: Asian women have always had to deal with a very specific Western stereotype and fetishization of their bodies. Do you feel like the platform of the Asian Burlesque Spectacular is able to comment or take away from some of that?



Calamity Chang: I will posit that Asian men are also grossly sexualized and diminutized by Western stereotypes quite possibly even worse. Asian men are constantly portrayed as nerds, under sexed, or gay in popular television whereas Asian women are oversexed, “sluts”, and sexual objects (i.e.: the Tila Tequilas). ABS gives us a platform in which we present ourselves, our bodies, and our own sexual projection on our own terms whether through allure, comedy or confrontation through the art form of burlesque and live performance theater. The blessing of working in a niche art form (versus Hollywood) is that we have control over how we are presented to the public.



NYSB: What are your hopes for for the future of The Asian Burlesque Spectacular?



Calamity Chang: We are working on taking it to the West Coast (San Francisco) and to the UK. We aim to turn this into a 2-3 day festival! The possibilities are endless. We’ve received so many inquiries since last year from interested Asian performers all over. ABS stands as a strong beacon of hope for many Asian women (and men) interested in burlesque but who may be afraid to pursue it because of cultural taboos. We are here to challenge those ideas and also to create new images of Asian sexuality.



To find out more on The Asian Burlesque Spectacular visit The event page

Doors Open: 7:00 PM. Show Time: 8:00 PM

Get Tickets!



Interview by Coco te Amo for the New York School of Burlesque

What to Do with Comments From Haters ('Female Chauvinist Pigs')

Oh, you know this. We all know this. I'm sorry anyone has to deal with this kind of thing. If you haven't had to deal with negative comments, then well you are lucky for now, but it's just a matter of time before you too will read something negative about you. I guarantee it.

This happens to all burlesque performers at some point in their performance career. It happens to anyone who is in the public eye and even more to those who utilize their bodies as vehicles for self expression of whatever kind. I think back on how many times I have criticized a celebrity/singer/actress for being too fat, too skinny, or whatever ass-inine comments about their appearance. Since I've started my burlesque career I've stopped doing that. I've become more aware (even enlightened) about what's going on with women.

There was that one time when a male fan posted a photo of me on his Facebook and it instigated several negative
comments about my scar, mostly from women. I defended myself on that thread and explained why I do what I do.
I don't feel like I should feel ashamed for having a scar from a near fatal surgery, and I love the art of striptease, the creation of self made glamour, and I certainly did not feel the need to censor myself because someone else believes only "perfect unmarred bodies" should be seen publicly.  And... then there was last night. A female fan posted a photo of me on IG, full frontal in the middle of my act. I really like the photo even with the low camera angle and up-my-nose-ness (the show was really packed so many people graciously sat on the floor as I instructed and that was where her photo was taken from, see below).


The first comment (now disappeared): "shame she's not even hot." Comment was by a woman. I replied, "thanks (name) love the haters". I then re-posted the photo on my IG (below), because I felt like this phenomenon of women-hating-on-women must be addressed! Then suddenly my followers, many I know and many more I don't know, jumped on the thread to defend me. One "Amy_robot" even took the trouble to look at the commentator's profile and threw it back at her by saying:

I see you have a quote from B.K.S. Iyengar at the top of your profile - have you heard this one? "You must purge yourself before finding faults in others. When you see a mistake in somebody else, try to find if you are making the same mistake. This is the way to take judgment and to turn it into improvement. Do not look at others' bodies with envy or with superiority. All people are born with different constitutions. Never compare with others. Each one's capacities are a function of his or her internal strength. Know your capacities and continually improve upon them."

Wow! Go social media! I also cross-shared this post on my Facebook Page but that didn't accomplish the result I wanted.

Many people reassured me of my "hotness" which was very nice of them to be sensitive to the possibility of an injured ego and for that I thank you, but I was honestly not trying to fish for compliments or reassurance. The issue at hand is the culture of competition between women.

Criticizing other women for not being "hot", too fat, too skinny, "gross" or my favorite women-hating-women term being a "skank". Many of my followers theorize that these kind of negative comments speak to the commentator's own insecurities and self loathing, but I don't really buy into that explanation. I believe it is what author Ariel Levy calls the "female chauvinist pig" syndrome in her titular book "Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture" (good read!).

Levy's main argument is that contemporary culture has become so saturated and inundated with sexualized images of women as commercialized objects that girls are raised to compete with each other to be the "hottest" and "sexiest" rather than the most accomplished or successful. She explains that this is defined by displays of "...inauthenticity and the idea that women should be constantly exploding in little bursts of exhibitionism." How many times have you gone to a party and suddenly some girl whips off her top and it's supposed to be so shocking, so wild, crazy and so hot? That is because we live in what she calls "raunch culture" where women are not only encouraged but rewarded for out-competing another woman as "the hottest" and most sexualized object in any given social situation (ie: the Girls Gone Wild franchise)

And this is what I think is happening when women make comments like "shame she's not even hot", because she insinuates that she herself is hotter than the criticized subject, or at the very least, she is an expert on the topic of what society portrays as the ideal object of male sexual desire. And thus she gains status (essentially "wins") at this competition for the attention of men by ironically acting like a chauvinistic male pig.

Theory is helpful for me to place things in context and to not take negative comments personally. But on a more immediate level, the most proactive thing I can do is to NOT participate in the culture of chauvinist pig behavior by thinking twice about my own comments. Lastly, if you hear something, say something. If someone backstage (or in regular conversation) make comments that sound pig-like, call them out. You can turn the attention on another facet of the person rather than their perceived hotness or physicality, or do what I like to do and simply say, "That's a really negative comment" and let that stew.

So on that note, I'm going to buy something on Pin Up Girl Clothing's sale site right now to make myself feel hotter. ;-)

"Repeal Day 2013" Trailer with Dandy Wellington, Gin Minsky, Perle Noire, and Me at Hotel Chantelle!

This is from our Repeal Day 2013 celebration at Hotel Chantelle where I also have my 4th year running weekly Friday night show! I performed with Dandy Wellington who also has a Tuesday Night Soiree event there with his fabulous self and jazz musicians. Dandy and I work together a lot - he sure is a dandy eye candy! Here we are performing with his band along with Perle Noire and Gin Minsky.

Repeal Day Eve @ Hotel Chantelle from Hotel Chantelle on Vimeo.

New Photos by Jane Kratochvil at Macao Trading Company

The talented photographer Jane Kratochvil took these beautiful photos on Monday night where I performed at Macao Trading Company with Dandy Wellington and His Band for their monthly show "SouthSea Soirees". I have just returned from my week long hiking family trip in the Ozarks, and I wasn't quite sure how "on" I would be from a week off away from eyelashes, glitter, bobby pins, etc etc. But once I got there, I was right back in the groove! It was totally packed despite the random snow storm that hit NYC all Monday. I was happy to see all my Macao family like Bryan, Paula, Uros, and so many more. I admit with some guilt, that somehow when you are having this much fun, it doesn't feel like work!

It's always an exquisite luxury for me to perform in another producer/performer's show so that I can just perform and not have to do everything else too. On top of this, Jane is so easy to work with and a sheer talent to work with. We had some time before each act to do some portraits downstairs and really work with the Asian influenced decor at Macao.

Dandy is there on the 3rd Monday of every month, and I am there with "Drunken Dragon Nights" on the 1st Monday of the month. We try to work together as often as we can! He is also at Hotel Chantelle on Tuesday nights and on Saturday during brunch hours.

Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Photo by Jane Kratochvil

With Kirsty and Suzette. All the girls who work at Macao, I gotta say, are super cool, stylish, and awesome people. Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Downstairs where I usually do my "Drunken Dragon Nights" show. Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Photo by Jane Kratochvil

The one and only Dandy Wellington! Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Photo by Jane Kratochvil

Fetish Nun - Upgraded Costume by Klawtex

One of my most popular neo-burlesque acts is my Fetish Nun act to "Heartbeats" by The Knife. It's also an old act and the original costume is pretty beat up. I commissioned NYC-based latex designer  KLAWTEX to help me revamp the costume this time all in latex. Here are the first batch of pictures taken of me doing this act at Red Herring's Reveal Me Burlesque at The Rivoli on January 2013. A great designer who understands the intricacies of striptease and who designs with your act in mind AND incorporates her unique vision is truly one of the best things a performer can find.

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Photo by http://angelamcconnell.zenfolio.com

Hotel Chantelle Lobby

Photo by Michael Webb.

Just found this old picture from a photo shoot I did at Hotel Chantelle where I have my weekly Friday night shows. I've always liked it but haven't really used it for promo. The lobby where my show is held at has been renovated (this red booth is no longer there), and it is now so posh and beautiful with a vintage tin-roof, elegant floral wallpaper, hardwood floors, and a long brass bar. I'll be doing a new series of photos with all the regular performers who are in my shows soon!

Boston Fashion Week October 3, 2012

I was able to happily dodge New York Fashion Week by spending the majority of that stiletto-clad bitchy hungry women time away in Texas celebrating my mom's birthday. However, I will be smack in the middle of Boston's Fashion Week on October 3 performing with Bettina May and Medianoche at The Beehive in an event called "Undressed".

The Beehive is also where I rang in 2012 along with Stormy Leather. I love traveling and performing and this year I'm doing more and more of that. Here's a clip from my performance at The Beehive's New Year's Eve party.



As always, the proprietors of The Beehive treat us like queens. We will be spending a couple of nights at the luxury boutique hotel Revere. Any recommendations of cool speakeasies near the Boston Common neighborhood for us?

"Les Fleurs de Shanghai" Trailer - Chinese jazz, dinner & burlesque!

The next show is Wednesday, May 30 featuring guest performer Ruby Valentine - The Alabaster Beauty. You may have seen in cameo in a little known TV series called "Mad Men". She played herself as a burlesque siren in the pilot episode.

It's All in the Presentation & Other Tips

I get many emails from performers visiting NYC who are interested in getting booked so I've compiled some of the best and worst practices I've seen and in doing so I hope this will provide some tips for anyone who is seeking for future bookings.

Introduce Yourself & Familiarize Yourself

If you are a local performer the best way to get your face familiarized is to attend one of the shows you hope to be booked in. Stay for the show and approach the producer afterwards, introduce yourself and express your interest in performing there. Follow up with an email and send video clips and descriptions of your act (I will go into this in more detail later). When a performer introduces themselves to me in person, it helps solidify who they are to me in my mind among a sea of faceless emails and complicated burlesque names. It also helps me to know that the performer already knows what the venue and the venue's clientele are like, and more importantly, what type of acts are booked and what type of stage (or lack of) she will be dealing with.

For instance my Thursday night show "Spanking the Lower East Side" at Nurse Bettie is extremely space-challenged. The bar is small with a maximum capacity of 70. There is a tiny small square stage that measures maybe 4' x 4' and to further complicate things, there is no dressing room. We have the back corner of the bar and pull close two curtains as a makeshift "private" area for ourselves. There is only one bathroom so using that to get oneself ready is out of the question. I even had to create a Do's & Don'ts document with critical information such as, "Don't bring your roller to this show" for new performers.

Nurse Bettie - tight squeeze on the stage

Friday night's show "Room69" at Hotel Chantelle offers another set of challenges. For one, there is no stage. The show is "in the round" and audience interaction is highly encouraged. Not always the best place for newer performers who are not comfortable improvising part of their act or need to be in position before the music starts otherwise it throws them completely off, or engaging with the crowd and owning the bigger floor space.

Hotel Chantelle - no stage, in the round. Photo by Francine Daveta.

Obviously all of the above applies only to local performers. I personally like it when traveling performers contact me and show that they know which shows I am currently producing. It's always good to show the producer that you are familiar with the shows they produce and that you did your homework to familiarize yourself with their work. Make it easy for me and I'll make it easy for you.

Make It Easy

Speaking of making it easy, a short and sweet PDF of performer information goes a LONG way in getting booked. What I dislike most is receiving emails with no pictures, no video links, and simply, "I really would like to perform at your show etc etc. My acts are XYZ." One can talk the talk, but I need to see you walk that walk! Images and clips are critical. I DO look at everything everyone sends me, and video clips are especially important. It doesn't need to be fancy or lit magnificently. I look for the following qualities:

• Stage Presence (Does the performer command the room? Does she exude confidence, joy, playfulness or intrigue the moment she's on stage? Does she say "Look at me" with her body?)
• Movement (Fluidity in movement, hand gestures, eye contact with the audience)
• Costume (There are some shows where I can be more lenient about costume quality, but some venues ask for more - and for those places I will NEVER book civilian clothes with some rhinestones passing as a costume)
• Overall Presentation (Does her hair, makeup, shoes, costume all work together?)

Also please don't write a lengthy email, just 2-3 short paragraphs will suffice. And 3 good video links that represent your best work are better than 20 links. Make it easy for me to watch your clips or visit your web site. Embed your links in your email. Please don't say, "You can find me on Facebook where I have pictures and videos." If I have to go on your Facebook and dig around to find a clip or comb through a million pictures to figure out what your act looks like, you are not making it easy when I have 20 other inquiry emails to read through.

Spell & Grammar Check Your Email

English is my third language. My native language is Chinese Mandarin. My second language is Spanish when we lived in Bolivia. So if I can spell correctly and type with proper punctuation marks and sentence breaks, there is no reason a native English speaker can't especially when we all have access to spell and grammar check.

Sending out an email with misspelled words, long run on sentences that read like visual diarrhea, no sentence breaks, train of thought derailed and wrecked, oh and my favorite, using ghetto ass slang in the email all reflect poorly on the sender. It makes me think they are stupid. If not stupid then it makes me think they are unorganized (perhaps they will show up late?), messy (does she know how to do her hair and makeup?), and a hot mess (is her tampon string hanging out? is she going to be a handful backstage and flip out on stage?). When in doubt ask yourself, would I use this tone of voice or these choice of words at a prospective job interview? When in doubt, err on the professional side. You don't need to say "Holla!" or "Hit me back" to people you've never met before. Your personality will shine through your professionalism.

Your Burlesque CV/Resume

You don't need a big fancy web site to get booked, but I will address the most cost efficient way to create a web site for yourself with some working knowledge of the publishing software in the next section. For now, a good CV is all you need just like applying to any job. When I was in college I made some extra pocket money helping people put together their resumes so here is a general template for a solid burlesque CV's (Curriculum Vitae) that is a combination of the best ones I've seen for their information organization and communication efficiency. Don't forget to keep the PDF under 4mbs! Most servers will kick back file attachments that are too big. And you never know where the receiver will be when trying to download an extremely large document.

Your Name 

(Include your tag line if any, phone number, email address, web site URL or other social media presence)

Burlesque Bio/Statement

(This is the place to write your witty repartee. Three to four sentences that quickly describes your background such as "...with a BA in Theater and ten years of dance experience" or "armed with a self-taught passion for performance and theater", and then describe your style is such as, "Calamity Chang can be seen on stage covered with rhinestones and lush feathers stripteasing to vintage Asian music and other exotic classics...")

 

Solo Acts

(List all your solo acts one by one, paragraph by paragraph. Describe the style, the song/band name and length of song, costume appearance, props used, set up required, and final reveal costume. 

If you have pictures of each of the acts, include them along with the video URL)

Duet/Group Acts

(Same as above and please credit other performers and troupes where credit is due in these acts especially if the original concept is not yours)

 Press (optional)

(List up to 5 most recent press mentions. If it's something that you didn't scan, just pull the quote from the publication, list the publication name, writer's name, and date of publication. Like the bibliography information you used to do for college papers)

Performance History

(If you have performed in festivals, list them here. Or if you are a newer performer, list the shows and producers you have performed with thus far. This acts as the "reference" section in a typical resume)

Performance Images (optional)

(I personally like to see on the last page a big montage of the performer's live action photos. These are not professional photos but snap shots taken during shows. It makes the resume come to live, and who doesn't like seeing a ton of photos of the same thing all together?

The good news is, once you have this done you can send it out to a lot of people over and over until you need to update it. It is especially good to have when you are doing a private gig or a big holiday gig and the venue wants to approve the acts first. For example, here are two one-pagers that Stormy Leather and I submitted to The Beehive's New Year's Eve party in Boston, MA.

A sample of how to present your solo acts in CV-form for burlesque performers

A sample of how to present your solo acts in CV-form for burlesque performers

Your Burlesque Web Site

As I said before, you do not need to have a fancy web site to get booked. It's nice to have it because you can compile all your work in one place. But it's expensive to have a good web site that represents your style and aesthetic properly. It almost always mean you need to work with a good art director who can truly reflect your sensibility online. My background is in digital media. I've spent all my 13 years in NYC working as an art director in major advertising agencies. I design everything from logos (my least favorite), to full blown out web sites, Facebook applications, iPhone/iPad apps, to banner ads. The cost of having a web site is NOT cheap. Many people have asked me if I would be interested in designing their burlesque sites. It is not that I am not interested in helping but I know what burlesque performers can afford, and $200-800 is not going to get you a good web site. Especially since once the site is up, you have no way to update it on your own.

This is the most important advice I want to give on this subject. If you decide to get yourself a web site and trust me, you will at some point, don't dig yourself in a hole with a designer who is going to leave the country and leave you no way of updating the information on your own.

This is why I advice performers to look into a myriad of other online options out there where you pay a minimal monthly fee to pick a template you like, upload your pictures, write your information, and make other customization choices to your site where you can edit, change, or revise it whenever you want from your own computer with your own password and log-in name. People are visiting your site to A) look at pictures of you B) find out more about you C) want to see where you perform next. You don't need a "cinematic experience" or an "immersive sound environment" - burlesque sites are what we in the industry call, "brochure sites." Information. Information. Information.

Lastly, do NOT get a full Flash web site. Flash is becoming obsolete because smart phones don't support Flash. The only time I create anything for Flash now-a-days at my day job is for banner ads and the face of online advertising is changing as I write. Who knows where Flash will be used in the next fiscal year? Based on my own web site's statistics, many people are looking at my site on smart phones (probably hiding from their wives or work people) so it is absolutely essential for your site to be smart phone-friendly. If anyone tries to convince you to get a Flash site cause it moves and makes noises, just say NO.

So some of the DIY sites I recommend are:

• http://www.picaholic.com/ - a big favorite among photographers who want their photos to be showcased XL much like burlesque performers. This site requires more advanced knowledge of how to use their software like customization your own site. But its WORTH it!
• http://cargocollective.com/#/howitworks - just discovered this group, comes highly recommended by my photographer and blogging fanatics
• http://theme.wordpress.com/ - WordPress remains the most accessible and powerful free platform to me for our purposes
• http://www.webs.com/pricing.htm - another new one that I just started poking around in out of curiousity

Anyway, so that concludes this post. I love booking out-of-town performers so hopefully this post will help expedite the booking process so everyone is happy!