The Dirty Rice in the Dirty South

I was in New Orleans to perform in the 3rd Annual New Orleans Burlesque Festival a couple of weeks ago. I was in the Friday night "Bad Girls of Burlesque" show at the House of Blues. Not only did I met amazingly talented women and men alike but I got to experience the city of New Orleans for the first time! There were things I loved and not loved about this infamous city. I loved the charming architecture, the enchanting history and music culture, and the rich air that was palpable with folklore and mystery the minute you set foot in the French Quarter. As soon as my boyfriend and I checked in the Westin (the official festival hotel) we dumped our bags and went exploring. Naturally, the first stop was where all the strip bars were on Bourbon Street!

Strip clubs on Bourbon Street!

There were some skeevy men hanging out in front of every strip club but I did enjoy oogling the black girls in metallic bikinis doing their New Orleans "bounce". Bounce describes a popular dance trend and a type of party where all the girls bounce their booty up and down and all over the place making it all jiggly. The music usually goes something like this, "Make the booty bounce, make the booty bounce, Make the booty bounce!" and "Up, down, up, down, up, down!"








Obviously I could never master the bounce cause I have flat Asian booty as seen here which is all the more reason why I love watching other performers do butt tricks. The two NYC performers who in my humble opinion are the reigning booty-queens are Gal Friday and Peekaboo Pointe. It's hypnotizing to watch them shake their booty. It just reverberates like an earthquake in my eyeballs and I can't look away!




So after quickly experiencing the drunken fraternity atrocity that is Bourbon Street we made our way to Cafe Amelie where I had the best shrimp and grits and crabcakes I've ever eaten! This was just the beginning of me saying "the best (fill in the blank) I've ever eaten" for the rest of the week. Sure enough the next night, Thursday, we went to the famous Vaughn's Lounge where Kermit Ruffins have played for over ten years! Kermit is famous for being a jazz musician, a chef, and a regular on HBO's show Treme. Everyone I talked to knew who he was. That night was an extra special night because Kermit was cooking for everyone and playing with his brass band. HBO and FoodTV were there to film the line of people queuing up for his food. I was so glad that Armitage Shanks (from Seattle who was also the MC for my show on Friday night) told me about it and Peekaboo Pointe went with us that night. Kermit made dirty rice and beans, grilled some crazy delicious andouille sausage, salmon, sweet potato, and Peekaboo's favorite, grilled quail! I was to find out more about Peek's bold culinary tastes on this trip too...

Peekaboo Pointe & I at Vaughns Lounge

After seeing Kermit play we went to the 2nd after-party that Rick Delaup (producer of the NOBF) organized for all the performers. We also went to the Wednesday night party in his suite at the Westin, and like the Thursday night party at Broussard's, it was a very fun and open bar event. The Wednesday night one was actually curtailed because hotel guests complained about the noise we were making.

Thursday After Party at Broussards with Lou Lou D'vil, Bettina May, Mina Mechante, Deidre Doll, Charlotte Treuse

What I liked most about these parties is meeting in person people I know from Facebook. For instance I finally got to meet met Burgundy Brixx from Vancouver. She produces Kitty Nights there and I've heard so much about her through Fem Appeal. I also met Betsy Bottomdollar from Victoria (also in Canada) and she is SO fun and a total riot! We all went to the Carousel Bar in Hotel Monteleon after Broussards where the bar rotates ever....so......slowly...... while you sip away at your cocktail. There was a vampire convention at the Monteleon so it was really funny to see all these "vampiric" Twilight-to-be's hanging out at the bar drinking. Betsy said that these "vampires" have a system of gestural language to communicate amongst each other. For instance, if you cross your arms and put them across your chest, it means you are "invisible". If you raise your arms above your head, it means you've transformed into a werewolf! Hahahahahahahahah. I can't wait to be "invisible" next time I rob a bank or don't pick up Chewie's poop on the street.

Me and Betsy Bottomdollar

Friday was my show day and I usually take it pretty easy so we didn't go walking around for hours in the New Orleans sun. I went to tech/sound check at The House of Blues in the afternooon, and I was very impressed with how organized, on time, professional and nice everyone were.

Show Setlist for "Bad Girls of Burlesque"!

Everything from day one has been running like a well-oiled machine and that's major kudos to Rick Delaup. It's a three day festival with a lot of people coming from all over the place. The show was beautiful and I met even MORE women backstage. There were hot food provided for us too. Rice and beans and grilled chicken. My favorite combination. Gimme a bit of Tabasco, I can eat this every day!

Here are some of my favorite photos from the "Bad Girls" show and Saturday night's "Queen of Burlesque" show.

Iva Handful, sodomizer of fan dance

Medianoche who competed in Saturday night's Queen of Burlesque

With Angi Bee-Lovely from Dallas. She does beautiful aerial work!

I would have spraypainted this plastic astronaut helmet silver and developed an act to "Space Oddity" by David Bowie

Saturday was my official day off! We spent the day walking up and down Magazine Street shopping and had brunch at Slim Goodies Diner. There were great vintage shopping and I almost bought this astronaut helmet. I didn't because I still had to go to Dallas, Texas after New Orleans plus my fans to carry...USAirways charged $25 per luggage! And you know what all airlines now charge to travel with an in-cabin pet? $125 EACH WAY!!! It's totally fucked up. It used to be $80 each way for Chewie, but every year, they unreasonably raise the price for carrying a pet who doesn't even sit in a chair so they are NOT taking up extra room other than the pet owner having to share their feet space. On top of that, you can't use your miles to pay for your pet. It's totally a greedy way for the airlines to make more money. Traveling nowadays is definitely NOT fun or glamorous like the show Pan Am...it's just stress and sheer boredom and annoying strange men trying to strike up conversations with you even after you make a big show of putting on your headphones.

We also took the tram on Saturday after stumbling around Magazine Street and going into Commander's Palace in our shorts (ooops). They were in-between brunch and dinner so Michael took some impromptu "hair" photos across the street in front of Lafayette Cementery. He took quite a few great shots that I love on the street, not "burlesquey" pictures but regular, more fashion-inspired shots since that is his day job and background. You can see them here on my Facebook page.

Some fun outtakes

Earlier I mentioned how enchanted I was with the architecture in New Orleans. It seemed like every porch and every corner house with open balcony windows beckoned to me to leave NYC and come spend balmy nights sipping a chilled Sazerac on the porch with perhaps a vintage palm-leafed fan lazily spinning on the ceiling...aaah. We even looked at some real estate rental listings and talked to a couple friendly locals on the street who gave us some pointers. It's a lot cheaper to live in NO, obviously it's a lot cheaper to live anywhere other than NYC! I just realized during this trip to the south that I've been in New York since 1998 - that's 13 grubby years! These thoughts and more have become more frequent the last 5 years. Thoughts about leaving NY, where to go, why to go... these  beautiful buildings in their silent majesty and power can evoke strong feelings of longing for something unknown... New Orleans is indeed magical in this sense.

Sunday was our last day in NO. We went back to Mothers which was just down the street cause I become obsessed with their crawfish etouffe. It was the best thing I've ever eaten! We also discovered a casual, cheap taqueria called Felipe by the hotel that was surprisingly delicious! We went there almost every day for their fish tacos that were $1.85 a piece and seasoned so perfectly. We also went on the free cocktail tour that Rick had so kindly organized for out-of-towners given by the very knowledgeable and fun Brian Huff. He took us to 4 different places: Sylvaine (I had a Moscow Mule), Pirates Alley Cat Cafe (I drank Absinthe but couldn't finish it...hate the taste), Court of Two Sisters (Pimms Cup), and the last stop was Arnaud's where I had the French75. Peekaboo met us here at the end of the tour, ravenous. We all ordered nibbles to eat and she ordered turtle soup! I was impressed that a white girl was ordering like a Chinese person, a turtle soup! Holy reptiles. Arnaud's was most interesting because of the rich family history that is full of twists and turns. The daughter of Arnaud, Germaine, was a notorious figure among many other things. The restaurant has a non-publicized mardi gras museum upstairs displaying several of Germaine's opulent mardi gras gowns from decades past. This was an amazing spectacle and I'm so glad Jo Boobs told me to check it out. Besides the amazing craftsmanship and devotion to the annual event, the museum is supposedly HAUNTED! If you see unexplained reflections in these photos that's probably why...

  

In my zeal for haunted history I convinced Betsy and Paul, Lucy Sky Diamond, and Peekaboo Pointe to go on a haunted tour called "Ghosts & Vampires" with me Sunday night. Our tour guide was a kooky old lady who was very...animated. I felt bad that I made everyone spend $20 on a tour that was not what we expected. We were expecting more of a historical fact tour about locations, buildings, and landmarks. Not a comedic re-enactment full of ghost noises. It would have been perfect for a younger group, just not for us. But - she did take us in front of a building where a ghost named "Julie" haunts the roof where she froze to death trying to prove her love to her lover. She said that by the fourth shot on an automatic camera you will get light globes and sure enough, three people in our group of about 15 captures light globes in their photos of all different sizes and locations. That was pretty scary and that wrapped up my trip!

The next morning Michael went back to NYC and I went to Dallas. I was booked to perform in Vivienne Vermouth's show "The Orient Express" at The Bone in Deep Ellum that week, and it was something I was really looking forward to. Three of my high school friends came with 3-4 of their friends. My brother and sister-in-law came with 4 of their friends. My mom and my aunt came. And an old childhood friend came with her husband. It was an amazing night and my first time performing in Texas! I made my brother go out to smoke a cigarette when I performed, and he did! Haha. I met several people including the beautiful pin-up model Angela Ryan who I met last year in NYC when she came to my Thursday show at Nurse Bettie. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the show. That's the end of this posting! Now that I've taken off TWO whole months from my day job, the job that pays for my rent and my rhinestones, I am going to buckle down for the fall/winter and save some money!

Forbidden City Burlesque, My First Sex Scene, New Orleans!

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind! Although I did not go to Vegas for Burlesque Hall of Fame (it's like the Oscars of burlesque) like everyone else it seems, I feel like I've been away because all I've been doing is work, work, work. What beautiful, sunny NYC day? I've been in-doors either working on new costumes, repairing older ones, or doing stuff online to promote and produce my new show "Forbidden City Burlesque" premiering this Saturday, June 11 at Tammany Hall in LES. I am really excited about this show and my new relationship with the venue. One main reason being the theme is Asian-inspired, and now I get to indulge and lose myself in all the music that my grandparents listened to in the 30s and 40s. I've discovered so many singers and amazing imagery from that era. I'm proving my parents right (yet again) because they used to tell me that one day I will want to learn more about Chinese history. Haha! When I was younger I rejected all of that "chinky chonky" shit. Unfortunately it is one of the pitfalls about being an immigrant. You want to assimilate and blend in so bad you don't want to know anything about your background. Especially growing up in non-urban, culturally diverse cities such as Tampa, Florida, and then parts of Texas. I certainly did NOT want to stand out. How I longed for blonde hair and blue eyes in elementary school and I even wished my parents went to church like normal Americans. Any one who grew up in non-urban cities know what I'm talking about. People used to ask me, "Do you know kung fu?" Anyway so now I'm "celebrating" all that "chinky chonky" shit!

The promotional photo for the show was taken on the famous Doyers Street in Chinatown. Michael, who photographs ALL my promotional material, did the shoot super-guerilla style with his friend Adam who is also a photographer. We had to do it really efficiently because you are not allowed to put a light stand on the street unless you have a permit. It was really funny because when you shoot in Chinatown, EVERYONE stops and stares and takes pictures of you and pictures of the photographer taking pictures of you. Of course it was impossible to not have people in the background but when I reviewed the photos, my favorite ones were the ones where bystanders are reacting to me. I love the way he lit me in these outtakes below.

A select from the shoot on Doyers Street, Chinatown. Photographer Michael Webb.

Doyers Street shoot for "Forbidden City Burlesque" at Tammany Hall LES. Photographer Michael Webb.

Doyers Street shoot out take by Dan Kim.

The other exciting thing that I did recently was appear in a new film by Steve McQueen called SHAME (IMDB info). Runaround Sue sent out an email saying that her Burlesque Agency was helping cast a couple of roles for this film so I submitted myself. Why not, right? I'm not afraid of rejection. I have a folder of rejection letters from art schools, art competitions, bank loans, just a myriad of rejection letters of all types. For some reason keeping a catalogue of rejection letters and notices has had the opposite effect for me. It makes me less fearful. A few hours go by and, surprisingly, Sue called me and said the director wanted to meet me in person the next day. I was made aware from the get that the role required nudity, and it would be for a sex scene with the lead actor MICHAEL FASSBENDER!! YES! He was one of the bad Nazi officers in Inglorious Bastards and most recently was Erik (MAGNETO) in X-Men (personally, I prefer the Nazi look. Doh!).

Sue gave me some advice about going in and listening to what they had to say and if asked to talk about my theater experience. What theater experience? Aside from my three years of improv comedy in college and burlesque, I don't have any formal training. Oh there was that one AT&T ad campaign that my casting friend sent me to years ago and I made it to the final three but didn't get the job. Non-SAG probably. But I had to do all these stupid things like hold a phone prop and act like I'm talking on the phone and now I'm surprised! Now I'm laughing! Now I'm worried. Now I'm wistful. It felt very silly to me.

Anyway. I went to meet the director after work in total daytime face. Hardly any makeup, my hair was up in a stick, I think I wore a t-shirt and jeans and biker boots that day. I arrive and the co-producer show me in to a tiny little room where Steve McQueen was. He's British and had this awkward-shy way about him. He talked about the film and what the story was about, I asked questions. I was curious about when this sex/nude scene occurs in terms of the character development. He asked several times to make sure that I understood there would be full nudity in the film and if I was okay with that. I said yes, as long as there would be no penetration of fingers or genitals. He vehemently shook his head and said something like, "I hope I'm not offending you but Michael would never do that. Nothing against you. But he's a real gentleman. That would not happen. He wouldn't want it to happen. No offense..." I was like, okay I get it. I'm repulsive and he won't get a hard-on. Haha. This is not "Casting Couch Porn Volume 1". Then he very politely asked if I would disrobe down to nothing to see my body. He even turned around to put his back to me while I was changing! I had to reassure him that we burlesque performers are quite accustomed to being naked around strangers. Then I turned around in circles, round and round, while he inspected me from a respectful distance, all the way from the other corner of the tiny room. When I left the building I seriously did not think I would get it. I was not "Calamity" in there, but just my off-stage self. In my mind, I was not dynamic, social-able, or energetic. Like what I picture you are supposed to be when you walk into an audition. I didn't think I was "on". Obviously in the back of my mind I wanted the experience and opportunity, but for some reason and this is just my own personal superstition, when I think about wanting something really bad, I NEVER get it. Like if I start doing "scenario building" in my head and playing, "It would be so cool if..." I never get what I wish for. So I made myself stop thinking about it and put it out of my mind. I was really shocked when Sue called me back the next day and congratulated me! That was on Wednesday. Filming was on Friday night.

I was very lucky to be cast with Dee Dee Luxe who is another burlesque performer and is a regular performer at The Box. She and I met up Thursday night after my show at Nurse Bettie to meet each other beforehand. The script had said Caucasian and Asian female (25-30 years old) so Steve is obviously casting for some kind of hetero-normative sexual fantasy archetypes. Well he certainly got that with Dee Dee and I. Dee Dee is petite and blonde and in superior curvy shape. I've never been with a girl before (fake or real), and I confessed that to her that so she wouldn't laugh at me on Friday when we do our threesome sex scene with Fassbender. Lol. To make a long story short, I knew Dee Dee and I would get along famously when she busted out the same pair of boots that I have on Friday at wardrobe! I'm not sure how much I should recount the experience of the shoot itself because I had tweeted a few things which were scooped up and re-posted on IndieWire about Steve's film. Thank god I didn't tweet anything overtly sexual about any members on set (get it, members? hahahahah).

I don't want to give away the plot or spoilers about the film, but it's pretty intense. At least, our scenes with Michael were totally intense! I'll just say that whoever he is dating (I heard its Zoe Kravitz), is most definitely not disappointed with his...er, manliness. Steve also had me do another scene that's not a sex scene where I open the door and let the main character in. It read easy enough in the script - all of one sentence - but holy shit it was hard to be "natural" and "myself" doing something as inane as opening the door! I had to do it over and over again like ten times. And every time I had to do it again I felt more and more apologetic and kept telling Steve that maybe he should get someone else to do this scene. I had signed up for the sex scenes. I didn't claim to be an actress. I ain't frontin. And I certainly wasn't foolin no one. But god bless Steve, he was so patient with me and explained what emotion my face should show in countless ways. I even made him be my character to show me what I'm supposed to "emote". But that didn't work either. First, I was too stern. Then I was too smiley. Then too mean. Too stiff. In the bathroom, Steve said I was acting too much and I had to be more myself. Who the hell is that? At that moment I wanted to go home and I haven't even seen Michael Fassbender naked yet! Finally, Steve told me to "make the scene my own" so I asked myself a few seconds before they shouted "action!" what I would do in real life if someone with a complex relationship to me rang the doorbell and how I would feel knowing he was coming over for sex and only sex (naturally of course, I don't have any real life experiences like this to draw from...)

So I looked through the peephole, unlocked the door, and did my thing, and voila it was done. I told Steve later that the sex scenes were way easier than opening the door, closing the door. I felt embarassed and was telling Michael about how mortifying it was and he shared an anecdote about his first time acting on a real film set. He said he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. I thought that was really nice of him to tell me that to make me feel better even if he was making it up. He's very down to earth. The three of us did the sex scenes a few times with the aide of a bottle of silver Patron tequila and Jamesons. Michael was a pro and a gent, and man, that guy can act. He really poured himself into all the scenes. And I mean that quite literally. (Wink wink). We shot the sex scenes six or eight times from various angles and configurations. DeeDee and I mainly took control of what to do with Steve giving us direction every now and then about blocking and lighting. When we took "lunch" which was at 11pm, I had a chance to ask all my film geek questions like who was Steve's favorite director (Terence Malick), what they thought of the whole "Apatow Syndrome" and the Ridley Scott film Michael was just working on (Prometheus), and what David Cronenberg is like. Michael said the Scott set was incredible and felt like you really were on a spaceship. He also played Carl Jung in Cronenberg's new film about Freud. It really made me miss my college film theory classes.

We finally wrapped around 1am. Steve seemed very happy with how the sex scenes turned out. He said it's quite the pivotal moment in the film and he thinks it'll be an "stand out" moment. I hope he's right cause if I look fat, I'm gonna be so mad at him!! It was really great making out with Dee Dee too. We really had a great time bonding - I mean, it's kinda hard not to bond with someone when you've spent hours kissing and caressing each other. ALL VERY SISTERLY, OF COURSE! SHAME is scheduled to premiere at the Venice Biennial in the fall. Hopefully they will invite us extras to it. Ha!

Aaand it's a wrap! From L to R: Nick London (MUA), Steve McQueen, Me, DeeDee, Michael Fassbender

I was also in a recent interview for a French Photography Blog called Project 752. If you can read French, it's a great interview. I don't say that lightly because I do many written interviews where it's often just a series of questions that were quickly put together with no real sense of trying to get to know someone. But this one is different. I could tell he's an artist himself because many of his questions involve process and inspiration. This is one interview I really enjoyed thinking and responding to: http://monsieur752.blogspot.com/2011/06/dont-dream-it-be-it.html

In another VERY exciting news, I found out today that I was accepted in the 3rd Annual New Orleans Burlesque Festival! Again, I put it out of my mind because when I think about something too much, I don't get it. This festival is notorious for only accepting big, glamorous acts and presentations like Amber Ray's work. I submitted my black fan dance to a 1930's Japanese cover of "St Louis Blues". This is my oldest act (not counting my debut act "China Girl" by my fellow birthday rockstar Iggy Pop) and it has evolved tremendously in two years. I will be performing on Friday night's "Bad Girls of Burlesque" showcase, a night for the newcomers. Saturday night is the seriously MAJOR Queen of Burlesque show with lots of performers from NYC! I am BEYOND excited because I have NEVER BEEN TO NEW ORLEANS! And I'm a spicy food fanatic and Cajun cuisine is up there in my top 5 favorites! (Mexican, Indian, Sizuan Chinese, Korean being the other four).

I am also excited to debut my new act "Night Train" by Alvino Trey this week. I know it's a popular song, one of those stripper classics, but I need a "classic classic" number besides my fan dance and the Blue Vegas sparkler act, and I rather do this song which every jazz band knows so I can use it to perform live if that opportunity comes my way. No, I am NOT dressing anything like a train conductor. All I will say is that the dress is designed by Nasty Canasta and when I put it on, its like a dream. I end up rehearsing for hours instead of half an hour simply because it's DIVINE. I've spent all last weekend and the majority of this week sewing, fixing, and making minor alterations to it in time for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

By the way, Forbidden City Burlesque is only $5 if you buy pre-sale here. It'll be $10 at the door on the night of. Here's an image to whet your imagination of what to expect Saturday night: