May 17, 2010

Notes on Camp & Coming Out

I am officially out of my burlesque closet! No more secrets! No more weirdly silent phone conversations where the dialogue went something like this:

Parent: "How are things going? What are you up to tonight?"
Me: "Nothing. I'm, um, staying in tonight."

This is an AMAZING feeling so liberating!! The show at Chow Bar last night was a very meaningful night, the energy was high and my mom said she felt like a VIP attending a special Mother's Day show just for her. She is a HUGE opera fan and since I'm too poor to take her to the opera, I figured I could bring the opera to her so I asked Shelly the Singing Siren to come and do an aria. She knocked it out to Puccini's "O mio Babbino Caro". There's something about the intimacy of the room at Chow and hearing an operatic voice like that that just gives you goosebumps. Thank god for the big fake eyelashes prying my eyes open otherwise I would have shed a tear or two during her singing. My mom, however, did not hold back the tears. I saw her clapping as soon as the first few notes began then she dabbed away her tears with her napkin. I think most people in the audience were paying more attention to my mom's reaction throughout the night than to the performers. Lol. She was a surprisingly good sport tonight and stood up and waved to everyone when I called her out. She smiled the whole time. I know cause I spied on her from behind the window during the show. She said that when she saw me on the stage talking to the room and hosting that this was really who I was and what I have always wanted to do. I did not expect this kind of parental revelation and it was probably the most validating thing I have heard ever from anyone. At the end of Shelly's song, she got up and gave her a big hug. The applause went on through the hugging. That was when I knew the rest of the show was going to be great. I wanted Gal Friday in the show last night because no one can twirl tassels the way she does. Plus she is a superb performer AND a good person who I admire, and I wanted my mom to meet the best of the best. Gal did a longer act of superior asstastic derriere-ing (I think I just coined a new phrase) and tasseled the hell out of the room. My mom's jaw dropped. Dame Cuchifrita did her opium act and Brassy sang Magic Man with Michael playing along on guitar. The speakers at Chow are blowing out (why hasn't anyone replaced it??) and that caused a distortion on the guitar that further fed to my already accumulating angst towards the whole situation with the venue. Brassy and Shelly were so kind and did a fucking awesome duet that I couldn't watch cause I had to change in the kitchen. They are performing together again on May 31 at Public Assembly. If I wasn't going to be tanning in my nude thong in Mexico at Playa del Carmen by then, I would absolutely not miss that show. To close last night's show, I did my black feather fan dance. I knew she would like something classic and specially with the song which is an old Japanese cover of "St. Louis Blues" from the 1930s, it would go over well. She came up and hugged me and sobbed on my shoulder! I was floored. I had never anticipated such a reaction. After the show she even walked around to every table and talked to everyone. Apparently many people in the audience congratulated her on being my mom. Ha ha. I'm positive she did NOT feel fortunate when I was a teenager sneaking out of my window to meet my Jamaican boyfriend. Hahaha. Oh the irony of being an adult.

When we got home she was so excited that she couldn't go to sleep til 2am. Both Michael and I wanted to hear what she thought of everything. She said she was surprised at the level of nudity and skin exposure. She was expected Gypsy Rose Lee, vintage burlesque nudity. But this is a lot more. She also said she was impressed by all the women. Their independence and professionalism. She also felt reassured that I was NOT working in a strip club with scumbags. She did feel slightly embarrassed when she saw my boob peeking out underneath the fan.

Tonight she is making a big dinner for some friends. Tomorrow she leaves for Texas. Woo hoo I can have sex again!


  1. haha! I loved meeting your mom. My favorite part was when she grabbed my boobs and said, "You're so Sexy!".

    But, when she was sobbing at the end...I wanted to cry too. Everyone knew they were tears of joy.

    XO- Brassy

  2. You can have sex again? Wait, you mean you haven't come out to her about not being a virgin?