Interview with Calamity Chang, NYSB Instructor and Co-Producer of The Asian Burlesque Spectacle

schoolofburlesque:

NYSB: How did the Asian Burlesque Spectacular start? What’s it all about?



Calamity Chang: ABC started with a conversation with Sukki Singapora who is a co-producer of this event. Sukki, from Singapore, is very active in women’s rights in conservative Singapore so our conversation started on that thread, and a few Skype meetings later, the “Asian Burlesque Spectacular” was born. Sukki had always wanted to hold a giant burlesque show specifically for Asian or Asian origin performers, as a continuation from her society, The Singapore Burlesque Club (to promote and nurture Asian performers in environments where sometimes burlesque is a difficult choice, or perhaps not celebrated enough). We enlisted Thirsty Girl Productions (Jen Gapay) right away. With her acclaimed experience and finesse in producing, she was the obvious choice to help realize the dream.



NYSB: The Asian Burlesque Spectacular is in its second year now. What will differentiate the show from last year’s premiere? 



Calamity Chang: We have an entirely new cast and we are at DROM in the East Village this year. We have an incredible line-up featuring some heavy hitters like The Shanghai Pearl (Seattle), Cherry Typhoon (Montreal) and Orchid Mei (Denver) , as well as international performers like Violet Eva (Japan) and Miyuki Divine (Calgary, Canada). Our host this year is NYC drag extraordinaire Yuhua Hamasaki (Miss Asia NYC 2014 and Miss Fire Island 2012), and we have added a boylesque performer, Wrong Note Rusty (Toronto) this year for the first time as well.Lastly, we are proud to be officially sponsored by ByeJoe: Spirit of China. We are very excited about this particular sponsorship, because “baijiu” has been a traditional Chinese spirit but as “ByeJoe” the liquor is expanding to a more Western palate to appeal to a young, modern Asian audience.







(Above, Calamity Chang. Photo Photo by Michael Webb)



NYSB: While show is all current performers, there is a strong element of homage to burlesque legends performers as Barbara Yung and Mei Ling. How important was that in so far as a production decision? 



Calamity Chang: Tributes are important to us, because Asian burlesque legends were less well known and less celebrated than their Western counterparts. Last year Sukki and I did our tribute acts to Yung and Ling. Other performers did their own interpretation of what constitutes their “Asian-ness” or whether that is relevant to them as a performer. Having that variety added an interesting layer of texture to the show. That’s the key for us. We are not going around forcing people to do Asian acts or collecting acts to create some kind of hyper-sensitive, somber event. Some of the acts addressed current topics with a comedic twist. For example, last year Fancy Chance’s act was about a hungry Korean student and Stella Chuuu’s act was to Monty Python’s “I Love Chinese Food”. We also had Dame Cuchifrita’s beautiful and haunting piece which addressed the colonialization of Southeast Asian women and sexuality. Show us how your ethnicity has influenced you as a performer and the acts you create, or how it hasn’t. We also are in agreement that one does not have to be Asian to do an act that is Asian-inspired. It is important this year to not only grow the show, but also to celebrate Asian culture without making it inaccessible to any other cultural group. To quote The Shanghai Pearl, there is a difference between “appropriating” and “appreciating.” I don’t think people know the difference so ABS is trying to be part of the answer to that question.







(Above, Calamity Chang. Photo by Michael Webb)



NYSB: Asian women have always had to deal with a very specific Western stereotype and fetishization of their bodies. Do you feel like the platform of the Asian Burlesque Spectacular is able to comment or take away from some of that?



Calamity Chang: I will posit that Asian men are also grossly sexualized and diminutized by Western stereotypes quite possibly even worse. Asian men are constantly portrayed as nerds, under sexed, or gay in popular television whereas Asian women are oversexed, “sluts”, and sexual objects (i.e.: the Tila Tequilas). ABS gives us a platform in which we present ourselves, our bodies, and our own sexual projection on our own terms whether through allure, comedy or confrontation through the art form of burlesque and live performance theater. The blessing of working in a niche art form (versus Hollywood) is that we have control over how we are presented to the public.



NYSB: What are your hopes for for the future of The Asian Burlesque Spectacular?



Calamity Chang: We are working on taking it to the West Coast (San Francisco) and to the UK. We aim to turn this into a 2-3 day festival! The possibilities are endless. We’ve received so many inquiries since last year from interested Asian performers all over. ABS stands as a strong beacon of hope for many Asian women (and men) interested in burlesque but who may be afraid to pursue it because of cultural taboos. We are here to challenge those ideas and also to create new images of Asian sexuality.



To find out more on The Asian Burlesque Spectacular visit The event page

Doors Open: 7:00 PM. Show Time: 8:00 PM

Get Tickets!



Interview by Coco te Amo for the New York School of Burlesque

"Les Fleurs de Shanghai" One Year Anniversary!

Update: my print is available for purchase at Luma's site now!
http://www.imagekind.com/Calamity-at-Duane-Park-art?imid=335e6fd1-cf91-49b4-9179-c6e96707e309

Her other work is online there as well. This is my first time ordering with ImageKind. Not bad for a custom print order experience. Framed, matted, plus shipping for a bit under $110.


Tonight was the one year anniversary of my Old Shanghai nostalgia show with Shien Lee at Duane Park! Not only was it our anniversary but it also marked the last show at the old space in TriBeCa. Duane Park will close on 2/16 and then re-open late February/early March at the grand new space on Bowery - which will be even closer to home for me. Hooray! I've heard some amazing new additions to the new space that gave me chills of excitement. I can already see it!
Luma Rouge came to the show tonight, but due to traffic and this rainstorm going on outside right now, she was only able to see my finale to Shien's Chinese cover of the famous song from "Carmen" (Jesse and Blanca killed it!!). If you don't know who Luma is, I highly suggest checking out her work online. She makes watercolor paintings live during the show, and I have several of her renditions of me on my Facebook fan page (click to view >).
I love her talent so much. And she hung out with us (Peekaboo Pointe and Dame Cuchifrita) after the show and shared some fries with us. Wait, I think I ate all the fries, she just watched and drew me eating the fries. I did say, "French Fries are a girl's best friend" after all. :)
These are two drawings from tonight. I love them! Would it be greedy to invite her to all my shows form now on? ;-)
(note: these are just phone snapshots of the real drawings until Luma gets her computer back up and running to scan them properly)

Drawing by Luma Rouge. Copyright ® 2013.

Drawing by Luma Rouge. Copyright ® 2013.

To Drag or Not to Drag

A couple of my fans have asked me if I ever do drag which got me thinking, "Why don't I have any drag acts?" By "drag", Susan Sontag's theories on camp and convoluted academic theories aside, the street definition simply means dressing up as the opposite sex. There are quite a few burlesque performers who have drag acts dressed as a man. Drag done well is a transformation that I enjoy watching on stage. I admire it but I don't think I can or would ever be able to pull it off. I am too attached to my long hair to cut it, shave it, or wig it short. My figure is also too curve-y (34-27-34) to pull off the androgynous look that performers like Stormy Leather do so very well. But most importantly I would not feel pretty or powerful as a man or even dressed as a man in costume. When I was five years old, my family went away camping somewhere for the weekend and I didn't have enough underwear to wear. So my mom made me wear a pair of clean boy underwear that belonged to my older brother. I was mortified and felt so gross and not myself the whole day. I also had a really short hair cut as a child and for some reason I wanted to get a perm (I also insisted on owning a pair of white cowboy boots too). My mom obliged me but I ended up with a tight 'fro and whenever we went to the market, noisey vendors asked me if I was a boy or a girl! I wasn't a total girlie girl as a child and I was pretty hyperactive and bold. But I definitely resented being mistaken for a boy. I felt so embarrassed and couldn't wait for the perm to go away and my hair to grow long again. So why do other performers don drag with such aplomb and panache when I can't even imagine it? I asked some of my performer friends on their take, and I was surprised to find that most performers have quite the opposite reaction than I have.

Stormy Leather (below) who, in my opinion, does amazing drag has quite a few acts that either touch on her bisexuality or exist in the realm of role-play. In "I'm Your Man" (Leonard Cohen), "I hand out roses and strip out of my suit to reveal my breasts wrapped and men's undergarments.  And then I take a lady by the hand, twirl and dip her, and then lay a big kiss on her." She poignantly adds that this act is "a tribute to my bisexuality and the way I feel about women sometimes. That if I could be your man, I would. I really really would." 

 In "Daddy's Home", a controversial act that Stormy only performs at The Box, she starts out as a convincing looking man and end up as a broken woman who "puts a condom on a gun and aims it at her vagina." It's a piece created under The Box's creative direction and "many people I know have differing views on this piece. While some see it as a story about identity confusion or penis envy, others have been quite offended." But in the end, Stormy says, it's an act "about being unhappy with who you are." And that is relate-able on an universal level, how the trappings of gender, sexuality, and identity can succeed or fail to define who we are.

StormyLeatherNYC.com

StormyLeatherNYC.com

One of the things I admire about Stormy doing drag acts is the confidence she exudes as a pretend-man. She walks different, stands differently, and as she says, "When I dress in drag everything about me changes. My walk, the way I stand, how I smoke a cigarette, how I talk to women or men." One can see that transformation in her performance and I also think that her lithe physique goes a long way in being convincing. Ironically, her svelte figure (all muscle, no fat, all angles and lean lines) is what gay men are envious of, straight men obsessed with (I've witnessed it), and straight and gay women admire sometimes makes her feel self-conscious when she is not in drag. "When I'm in drag, I'm less self conscious about what my body looks like when I'm stripping. I'm not worried about looking too skinny or missing a spot with the moisturizer.  I don't have to wear makeup and I don't care what I look like without it when I'm a man."

StormyLeatherNYC.com

Another performer Strawberry Fields, who is on hiatus, used to do a drag act at the first show I ever produced called "Dim Sum Burlesque" in 2009. Her song of choice is "Glory Box" by Portishead. She describes her act as being inspired by the lyrics (Give me a reason to love you...give me a reason to be a woman...I just want to be a woman) which "conjured up the imagery of being a man - in man's clothing, facial hair, masculine stance... all of the armor of man... and little by little stripping that away...peeling those layers off...to reveal a hot sexy woman-goddess."

Strawberry Fields doing "Glory Box" at Dim Sum Burlesque, 2009

 

The word "armor" is an interesting choice of words. Whereas Stormy Leather revels in being a man for sexual-political reasons when she says, "As many women, even today I'm faced with the double standard between the sexes.  And it drives me bat shit crazy.  Sometimes I wonder how much more I could accomplish if I simply had that extra appendage.  It is a little bit of penis envy for me I guess. Not that I want to really have one, but that I can see where it would be beneficial", Strawberry Fields has a spiritual explanation for how she feels when she is in drag. "It is empowering to act/feel/embody a man... the masculine energy I put out in drag is very different than my playful feminine energy... it feels very different... I tense my muscles in my arms, face, brow." Strawberry then adds that she does "imagine having a penis (a big dominating one) and it fuels a male confidence that feels completely different that my feminine goddess energy confidence."

The struggle of finding that mythical liminality state that encompasses both masculine and feminine is perhaps what motivates and inspires my fellow performers to do drag. I am less evolved in my exploration of sensuality than they are, because I can't embrace, or rather I refuse to investigate the masculine in me. If there is a masculine energy in me it must express itself in other facets of my life, perhaps through my ambition and ball-busting. On stage as a persona, I just can't muster it because I don't find myself "sexy" when I look man-ish, boy-ish, masculine. So what it comes down to, for me, at least, is that I perform for myself. I perform what I think is seductive, sexy, erotic - it is narcissistic but art is self-indulgent... at least I'm not writing an autobiography! Not yet, at least. Oh like having a blog is any better. :)

Echoing my sentiment is what performer Dame Cuchifrita says about why she does drag acts. "I also happen to believe when it comes to my personal view on what is sexy, it is always about attaining a balance between the male and female energy. Androgyny would be the ideal form of beauty  in my eye. I don’t usually find anything that is too female or too male as sexy, but a combination of both when found in one person is utterly irresistible," she says. In her drag acts/personalities, she will often depict what she calls "warrior" qualities through figures such as a bullfighter, a Chinese emperor, Hitler to Galliano. I've worked with Dame a lot and I can attest to her penchant for dressing as a man. When we modeled for Dr. Sketchy's for "Peking Opera" she would not stop playing with and idolizing her fake beard! However her motivation is not trying to be convincing as a man (a big thing in drag culture achieving "realness") or to complete the transformation process. She revels in existing in that in-between space that I discussed earlier, straddling that strange and at times mesmerizing figure that appears female (she is also curve-y) but the movements and gestures suggest otherwise. When asked if she feels differently when she is in drag, she says, "In my spirit resides a warrior, strong male energy that I find very sexy when combined with my womanly figure. Perhaps because being physically big and strong is something I could never attain, therefore the yearning becomes almost erotic." 

Dame Cuchifrita at Dr. Sketchy's. Photo by Justin Lussier.

Dame Cuchifrita (right). Photo by Adrian Buckmaster.

I thought it would be interesting to get the opinion from the opposite side and asked our Number One burlesque fan and supporter who everyone knows: Caprice Bellefleur. Caprice is a burlesque staple. You will often see her out in the audience dressed to the nines and sporting a short bob, sometimes it is blonde and lately it's been a black bob. She must be out every single night and she has probably attended every single regular burlesque show in NYC. She describes herself on her blog as "a 62 year old retiree enjoying life in the Big Apple. I'm a mixed-gender male-bodied person. This makes me a transgender person, trans for short. If you call me a crossdresser, I won't object, but crossdressing is just an activity I do to express part of my identity." I have never seen Caprice as non-Caprice and I honestly don't think I would recognize her as him. So why the crossdressing or "en femme"-ing? She started very young at the age of 9 trying on her sister's and mother's clothes. She recalls, "when I was in summer day camp at age 9, and they had 'Backwards Day.' Most of us just put on our camp T-shirts backwards, but one boy came in a dress. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I wanted to be wearing that dress so badly." The desire to express both masculine and feminine aspects of her personality amplified through the years until her 40s' when putting on one of two items in private no longer fulfilled and "the desire to be seen as a woman by others began to grow. By then the internet existed, and I began corresponding with other crossdressers. I bought more clothes, some make-up and jewelry, and the items I needed to give the appearance of having a female figure. On November 11, 1998 I bought a wig (I never had one before) and attended my first crossdressers' club meeting."

Reina Terror (left), Caprice (center), Bambi Galore (right) at Burlesque Hall of Fame 2011.

Women can often feel bolder and more confident when dressed as a man, so what does Caprice feel when presenting herself as a woman? Does she feel less ballsy (excuse the pun), soft-spoken, timid, or less confident? Interestingly she says, "I think I'm less shy when presenting as a woman. I don't know why. Is it because I'm hiding behind an alternate, invented identity, with an alternate appearance, that I can shed when it's convenient? I'll let the shrinks debate that."

Getting Spanked & Then Mind Fucked

Pan & the Nymphs. 
Photo by Vishnu Hoff, 2010.

Waaahooo!!! Saturday night's show at Coco De Mer was spectacular, grand, and so much fun. Most of the audiences in my show are non-burlesque performers and almost every time, they are new to the art form. I love performing and producing for this audience, because I always remember that feeling of enthrallment and excitement when I saw Little Brooklyn & Creamy Steven's Starshine Burlesque show at Rififi's about 6 years ago. I, too, want to create that feeling, atmosphere, thrill and excitement for other people so that I will be immortalized in their minds! Mwa Ha ha!! I'm just kidding. In all seriousness though, one does remember the moment true inspiration happens to you. Burlesque in its theatricality, campiness, and ostentatiousness seems to be the intersection of all my various, random lifelong interests and obsessions. When I encountered it, it all fell in places these disparate parts of my life that I didn't know why I was interested in.

Pan showing the silly nymphs how to really use the sex toys!
Photo by Vishnu Hoff, 2010.

The pictures you see is from our group finale conceived by Dame Cuchifrita with me and Pandora. Dame is the goddess Pan and Pandora and I are the nymphs cavorting in the forest. This act is SO on point and captures the cheeky British humour that is very much Coco De Mer. It was brilliantly executed and the music was both hysterical and beautiful at the same time. It was so much fun doing this act! I hope we can find another appropriate venue to do this act again because its wicked!!! And Dame REALLY did spank me hard with the vinyl paddle!

The nymphs discover Pan and their sexual desires.
Photo by Vishnu Hoff, 2010.

We sold out again this weekend, but the next "Spreading the Curtains" show will be Saturday, September 11. We are taking August off because it's a slow show month with people away on vacation, etc. I, for one, will be in Mexico again for a week!

Me at Coco De Mer with 42Below. Thank you 42Below!
Photo by Vishnu Hoff, 2010.

I also saw Inception this weekend. It is brilliant and sophisticated. I loved the metaphors: the projections, the subconscious, the falling backwards, etc etc. It's funny that Leonardo di Caprio has done two films back-to-back on a similar subject, the unreliability of reality. Shutter Island was also about the telescoping of realities, dream state versus non-dream state. I was anticipating that twist all the way through Inception and voilá! I was right. I did like how they incorporated the idea of "paradox" in architecture and used MC Escher's famous "Penrose stairs" as an example. There were many other references to dreaming and dreams. It's a good movie to watch if you like thinking about dreams, lucid dreaming, and various mysteries of dream vs. reality. They must have talked to tons of people to collect similarities we all have while dreaming such as the sensation of falling. Inception follows a grand sci-fi tradition on the timeless topic of mind-body dualism that, as of late, popular culture has become more fascinated by. The Matrix, Ghost in the Machine, and Avatar are more examples of the separation of mind and body. In Inception, one of the conundrums was whether one could believe one's "perceived reality" versus a "real" reality. I think I would just pick one and stick with it instead of torturing myself about whether I'm sleeping or dreaming. This kind of attitude got me a D+ in my Philosophy 101 class at Cornell which this movie reminded me of. I had to write a paper on Descartian dualism. I can't recall what I wrote but I remember citing many science fiction writings as well as zombies. I did not like Professor Wood. This is not a sexual pun!!! I was really bad at writing papers for philosophy classes. It seemed like writing about nothing and talking to nobody! After that, I tried Sleep Psychology and Abnormal Psychology and even the Magic Mushrooms and Mischievous Molds class from the Plant Pathology Department, and I did SO much better in those classes. Guess I am more interested in people's minds than the ethereal nothingness... But anyway, more excitingly, is that before the movie, I saw the trailers for Resident Evil 4: Afterlife AND Tron Legacy!! How did I not know about the remake of Tron!? The Resident Evil trailer looked super fun and I can't wait to see it cause Milla is fierce!!

I have an easy week this week hooray! Just Nurse Bettie so I can actually see some friends and maybe have a small dinner party too, if I'm really ambitious. Next week though... shows every night and Albert Cadabra's Skullduggery And Skin Show in DC at the Palace of Wonders! I've never done this show before and I'm psyched to take the Subaru Outback on the road with Albert and Gigi Lafemme!

Next Coco de Mer Show

There's so much to say but I'm working so much. Tomorrow I have the day off so I will catch up on my experience at the Colorado Burlesque Festival. For now, here's the info on the next show at Coco de Mer with me, Gal Friday, and Dame Cuchifrita who is doing this amazing group piece that I can't wait to be in! Just the music alone is simply GRAND. Saturday, July 24. 8pm. $25 with open bar provided by 42Below. Call the NY store to RSVP. The event sold out last time and we had to turn away 15 people. So don't miss it! 212 96 69 0 69

Notes on Camp & Coming Out

I am officially out of my burlesque closet! No more secrets! No more weirdly silent phone conversations where the dialogue went something like this:

Parent: "How are things going? What are you up to tonight?"
Me: "Nothing. I'm, um, staying in tonight."

This is an AMAZING feeling so liberating!! The show at Chow Bar last night was a very meaningful night, the energy was high and my mom said she felt like a VIP attending a special Mother's Day show just for her. She is a HUGE opera fan and since I'm too poor to take her to the opera, I figured I could bring the opera to her so I asked Shelly the Singing Siren to come and do an aria. She knocked it out to Puccini's "O mio Babbino Caro". There's something about the intimacy of the room at Chow and hearing an operatic voice like that that just gives you goosebumps. Thank god for the big fake eyelashes prying my eyes open otherwise I would have shed a tear or two during her singing. My mom, however, did not hold back the tears. I saw her clapping as soon as the first few notes began then she dabbed away her tears with her napkin. I think most people in the audience were paying more attention to my mom's reaction throughout the night than to the performers. Lol. She was a surprisingly good sport tonight and stood up and waved to everyone when I called her out. She smiled the whole time. I know cause I spied on her from behind the window during the show. She said that when she saw me on the stage talking to the room and hosting that this was really who I was and what I have always wanted to do. I did not expect this kind of parental revelation and it was probably the most validating thing I have heard ever from anyone. At the end of Shelly's song, she got up and gave her a big hug. The applause went on through the hugging. That was when I knew the rest of the show was going to be great. I wanted Gal Friday in the show last night because no one can twirl tassels the way she does. Plus she is a superb performer AND a good person who I admire, and I wanted my mom to meet the best of the best. Gal did a longer act of superior asstastic derriere-ing (I think I just coined a new phrase) and tasseled the hell out of the room. My mom's jaw dropped. Dame Cuchifrita did her opium act and Brassy sang Magic Man with Michael playing along on guitar. The speakers at Chow are blowing out (why hasn't anyone replaced it??) and that caused a distortion on the guitar that further fed to my already accumulating angst towards the whole situation with the venue. Brassy and Shelly were so kind and did a fucking awesome duet that I couldn't watch cause I had to change in the kitchen. They are performing together again on May 31 at Public Assembly. If I wasn't going to be tanning in my nude thong in Mexico at Playa del Carmen by then, I would absolutely not miss that show. To close last night's show, I did my black feather fan dance. I knew she would like something classic and specially with the song which is an old Japanese cover of "St. Louis Blues" from the 1930s, it would go over well. She came up and hugged me and sobbed on my shoulder! I was floored. I had never anticipated such a reaction. After the show she even walked around to every table and talked to everyone. Apparently many people in the audience congratulated her on being my mom. Ha ha. I'm positive she did NOT feel fortunate when I was a teenager sneaking out of my window to meet my Jamaican boyfriend. Hahaha. Oh the irony of being an adult.

When we got home she was so excited that she couldn't go to sleep til 2am. Both Michael and I wanted to hear what she thought of everything. She said she was surprised at the level of nudity and skin exposure. She was expected Gypsy Rose Lee, vintage burlesque nudity. But this is a lot more. She also said she was impressed by all the women. Their independence and professionalism. She also felt reassured that I was NOT working in a strip club with scumbags. She did feel slightly embarrassed when she saw my boob peeking out underneath the fan.

Tonight she is making a big dinner for some friends. Tomorrow she leaves for Texas. Woo hoo I can have sex again!

Rebecca

The other day I googled an ex-boyfriend from college. I was with him for 4 years, when really it should have just been 2 years. But I was young and didn't know any better and it was college so it dragged on much longer than it should have. I blame my own cowardice for not breaking up sooner and dragging him on. Anyway, so I googled him because boredom at work leads to googling ex-boyfriends. Just kidding. I am generally not curious about exes. I have no interest in the past and what they are up to now. I have self-imposed amnesia.

There wasn't too much about him online. But the one thing that showed up is his very recent wedding registry. And his bride-to-be is a friend of mine from college! I was surprised that they ended up together, but also not surprised. I always thought he liked her or at least thought she was "cute" - believe me, women know these things even if we act like we don't care or know. It all made sense now. Why her Facebook page had so limited information and pictures. Why she un-Facebook friended me. It wasn't like we were best friends or anything, we were closer in college, but I didn't really stay in touch with her so it's not like I'm devastated or anything. It's barely a blip on my radar, perhaps a good story to blog about. Like what I'm doing now.

It did make me feel better that he found someone else. The breakup was a big snotty-covered mess. On his part. Emotionally I had fallen out of love with him years ago but never did anything about it. He thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. etc etc. I find it curious that she has cut off connections from me, and didn't tell me that she and him found each other when we first re-connected via Facebook a couple years ago. Did she think I would care or think it was a betrayal of a friendship that was threadbare to begin with? Maybe she felt like she was living under my shadow and rather just ignore the past? (She is also Chinese). Maybe he put a kibosh on any connection or knowledge of my existence which is most likely the case.

Like Rebecca, I linger like a scent. "And then, when one wanted it, the bottle could be uncorked, and it would be like having the moment all over again."

Mwa Ha ha!!!

Tonight, Dim Sum Burlesque is going to Public Assembly!! I am SO excited to work a bigger room on a real proper stage! I have 13 acts that's a hella lot with Gigi Lafemme, Lil Steph, Dame Cuchifrita, Broadway Brassy will do songs with Michael on guitar, and myself. Chow Bar is also selling spicy korean noodles for $5-7. Booze, boobs, and food - how can tonight be the opposite of fun??? Doors at 9 pm, show at 10 pm. $10 cover!

Many Thingingmabobs!

Finally I am plugged back in the matrix-net. Jesus! A hundred emails not downloaded from the server. Moving in the snowstorm weekend. Dealing with strict move-in hours. The last few days have been the worst ever! But now it's over and I'm relishing in living in this fanfuckintastic apartment!

So last Sunday after moving and unpacking all day, I get to Chow for the show feeling a combination of exhaustion and excitement. I didn't want to leave the house because I had just finished re-categorizing my clothes (per Michael's example) and we were just about to start on the awesome bathroom. But I knew also that taking a few hours to put on makeup, glitter, and be pretty instead of feeling grungy and dirty wearing the same pair of leggings, t-shirt, and crusty old socks for 3 days would energize me. Even though ticket sales were not where I would have liked, I was in such a motherfucking great mood I wouldn't have cared if there were only five people in the room. I haven't seen Dame's new act, Amber Ray was coming to do her lotus blossom act, Rita Menweep was doing 2 numbers, and I wanted to play with Brassy! There was a table of three cute blonde girls in the front, another table of three, a table of three Euro-looking guys in the corner who I noticed. You know how it is. You feel the crowd and you know where the warm and cold spots are. We go through the first set and everything is great. Lots of cheering and hollering with minimal burl-etiquette coaching. I'm throwing back prossecco like there's no Monday, and I'm particularly talkative on the stage ranting about "oriental revivalism" and white guys with Asian girlfriends (I, myself, am guilty as a cohort). Second set comes along and I play one of the crowd favorite games, "Put a Ring on It". For this game I pick out a couple that seem to have good body language. I have the girl come up on stage and sit in a chair. I'll skip the details but the goal is for her boyfriend to put a cock ring on the banana that is nudged between her thighs while blindfolded. I picked out this particular couple only because one of the waitstaff said to me during intermission, "If you're going to pick on anyone, pick on my friends who are sitting over there!" When her boyfriend came up and was told to put the cock ring on the banana he yanked off the flimsy ribbon blindfold, angrily repeated, "I am NOT doing this!" several times, stormed off the stage, grabbed his jacket, and walked out much to everyone's chagrin and even more so for his girlfriend who sat there flabbergasted with a banana between her legs.

I felt so bad for her. She was obviously trying to keep the peace with this man so she understandably refused to play the rest of the game and went chasing after him. It was the chasing after that resonated with me. I've been in her position before in a not-healthy relationship where the guy controlled the entire dynamic of the relationship and you never knew if you or some situation would "offend" his ego. So you end up changing who you are from how you talk to your friends, the kind of jokes that you make or make you laugh, and you slowly become what you think he wants you to be because you love him (you think you love him) and you want to do everything you can to make it work so what's a little compromise in becoming a vegetarian or not hanging out with your friends because he doesn't like them - oh no, I'm not channeling any residual resentment at all! Instead you should just say, you don't get me so take your hypocrisy and go fuck yourself . The clincher however was when he stormed out, another female audience member yelled, "Dump him!" That was priceless.

Anyway, I'm a little drunk on red wine now. Here's a picture of Dame backstage in her "Farewell My Concubine" costume. I wish I had my phone to take a picture of Ambery's outfit too. I learn so much by just watching her performe, her gestures, movements, and facial expressions. She actually kind of looks like one of those Japanese girls in Harajuku when she's all done up. Quite fascinating!


Then on Monday, I still had the day off from work (domesticity and nesting is FUN!) to help Michael put the apartment together but at night I performed in Harlow's Hideaway at Fontana's. It's a monthly variety show in the basement of the bar on Eldridge Street, and I think she is my favorite show producer. Her show packs in SO much and it's not just burlesque. There is a stand up comedian named Claudia Cogan and she is hilarious. Then there's Maddy Man & Lexi who do modern interpretations of Bible stories. They did a re-telling of Lot's Wife to Bright Eye's "Turn Around". There was Bella daBalls who sings and strips along with Honi's own singing and stripping. Amber did a bunny number to Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet" which I would love her to do at Dim Sum and she did this trick with her boobs and tassels that I have never seen anyone do before. Minnie Tonka (I'm wearing a pair now!) and Bunny Love both did acts that were brilliant. Tigger closed the show with his magnificent self and hopped off the stage and kissed a girl, then Michael, then me. I was able to hang out for a bit after the show and talked to everyone about various difficulties of producing a show... especially the financial stress and strain. I felt much much better after that - because I wasn't sure if I'm doing something wrong or not doing something that I should be, trying various combination of how to generate more money so I can pay everyone an amount that make everyone feel happy about coming out at night and performing. In the end, I realized it's just the way it is producing shows unless you have a HUGE marketing firm behind you or a big ass funding or a rich ass patron to give you a budget to do a show weekly.

Oh, and I have cable TV now! This is the first time I've had a TV in six years. When it's on, I find it hard to motivate to do things like write, design, read, or anything at all. It's like a big bland vortex that sucks you in by its sheer blandness. Unless I'm purposely sitting down to watch something - but I don't even know what's on and when it's on. So even though I'm now living in a real adult apartment, I still spend most of the time in the studio room.

This Sunday's 1/17/2010 line-up

Guest Star Broadway Brassy rocks out with guest guitarist Michael Webb with burlesque performances by Dame CuchiFrita, Ruby Valentine, Calamity Chang, and our weekly sacrificial lamb - boylesquer Stanki Sex! No cover or table/drink minimum during this January Customer Appreciation month. Show starts at 9 PM.

Chef Peter has a few weekend specials such as homemade oat bread with a tasty twisted version of a kickin' Monte Cristo - It's spread with green olive tapenade, layered with buffalo mozzarella and holy basil, dipped in egg then panko, panfried with olive oil til crisp and delicious, served with some duck salami and paired with one of our wines by the glass. We are also simmering up a Hot and Sour Miso soup with soba noodles, sesame, tofu and hijiki seaweed. Call Chow Bar to make a seating reservation. 212.633.2212. First come, first dim sum!