Chewie Stealing Chicken Bones

I had FUUUUNN at Nurse Bettie last night. First, Time Out's supplement issue is featuring me as one of the four people who have "changed careers" so Tory the photographer came over around 7pm to shadow me as I got ready and put makeup on. Except she was a bit early so when she rang the doorbell, I was still napping and had no makeup on at all which is so taboo to me to be photographed sans makeup. We got along really great right away so I had no problem being natural and pretending she wasn't there.

We got to Nurse Bettie on the early side so she can shoot more photos of me in the bathroom getting ready some more. There were two birthdays and a bachelor party, andit was packed at 9pm. I feel like I haven't been there in a long time and really missed it! Peekaboo Pointe performed last night, the first time with me at Spanking the Lower East Side. She's in-demand and super busy with her "Best Night of Your Fucking Life" tour with Mr. Law and Lil Miss Lixx. She worked that little bar! I also had Deity who wore this amazing real chain mail top and bottom and stepped on a plate of strawberries on a plate and licked it off her own feet. We talked about fetishes after the show while eating the birthday girls' raspberry chocolate cake, and I told her about my animal, er, interests. Ha ha. I have a new act about cats and shaving that I wanted to do for this month's show at Coco de Mer, but Simon felt like I should save it for August so alas, I will save it for August.

This past Monday night was Honi Harlow's show at Fontana's. This one was a special show because Russell Simmons was there taping an episode for his reality show. Anyway, I was watching Kimora's reality show when I was in Denver and I just learned that she is now developing all these super high-end (expensive) jewelry for the Hello Kitty line! These things are like $1000! This, for instance, is priced at almost $2,000:

If this isn't the absolute whoring of a brand and archetype, I don't know what is! Anyway, so Honi and the intern they were filming had already told Simmons that I was the opening act, doing Hello Kitty/Asian Hooker! He was excited to see it so we waited until he was ready before I opened the show (I had to open because we had to go to Beatles Burlesque at Public Assembly right after). The act went really well (no backwards dancing this time), and me and Ticket to Ride scurried over to PA right away. Later, I heard from Caprice and Cesar that Honi had said during the show that Russell Simmon's new girlfriend (Korean, of course) was offended by my act. Kudos for me!! It's good to offend especially if it's people who are not of your ilk. Later I found out some more, apparently she was also offended that he brought her to Chinatown! Sounds like girlfriend's got an Asian chip on her shoulder.

Beatles Burlesque was off-the-hook!! This show is so my baby. Well, Nurse Bettie is too as is Coco de Mer and Macao Trading Company. I was so excited to have Nasty there and Darlinda!!! They were amazing and Jenny C'est Quoi - so talented. Miz Margo transformed herself from her Goth look to this 1970's suit lady. Beelzebabe was the sacrificial lamb and opened the show with a modified black fan dance. I tried to remember what everyone did, but I accidentally got too drunk (didn't have time to eat dinner) and I tricked a couple of guys in the audience to buy me shots if I took off my dress (the same shiny silver one that I posted about earlier). I'm going to be wearing this dress to EVERYTHING to get my $400 worth. (yes...it was that much but it's worth it!!!) I do remember taking off my dress at the very end of the show and crawling up to Brassy from the side stairs as she was singing "Live and Let Die" and then licking her leg? It was fabulous, fabulous fun. We went to eat at Doner afterwards with Brassy and Michael's friends. Around 330am, I realized there was no way I could go to work the next day so I had to email and say I wasn't coming in. Next time, I am NOT scheduling a work day the day after a show like that.

All this happened the day I returned from the Colorado Burlesque Festival. I had such a STUPENDOUS time there, it was both a combination of relaxation (hanging with Gisella in Boulder, eating tempeh and seitan, going to the lake with her new puppy, and not wearing make up and the same t-shirt for days) -

Gisella's awesome new house! I love staying here!


Coco her dog.

- And excitement at the festival being glammed up and performing. The women (Fannie Spankings, Lola Spitfire, and Midnight Martini) who organized this first annual festival were so nice, talented, and certainly knew how to create an amazing line-up. The headliners were Michelle L'amour, Tigger!, and Trixie Little & Evil Hate Monkey. I was particularly moved by the performances of Takka a belly dancer from Denver, Midnite Martini, and Michelle L'Amour.


I think she's half-Japanese or Japanese and I thought she was so pretty and exotic. She was so nice too, and she had a body that was just fucking insane!!!


Midnite Martini is a true artist. Her aerial work is stunning, elegant, and a virtuoso performance of athleticism and beauty.


Anybody who have seen Michelle L'Amour's white fan dance tribute to Sally Rand will know what I mean when I say that her performance, persona, stage presence, sheer ethereal beauty will move you to tears. She was a vision of grace, beauty, and things long gone and watching this act can make you feel sad.

My black fan dance is nothing compared to hers. I learned a lot from watching her and other performers. My favorite part of the the entire experience, I have to say, is meeting all these fabulous new people from all over the US. Honey Lawless from SF, Freya from Tennessee, Liam Sullivan (aka Kelly Shoes) who was our MC. It was inspiring in the way that made me feel like I don't have to stay in NYC to do burlesque. I want to perform and communicate an idea. And if there's an audience who wants to see, that's what matters most to me. Not which "city" is attached to the name. I love to travel and I didn't travel for a year because I didn't want to stop performing even for two weeks. But now, I feel like my horizon and perspective have expanded thanks to my experience at the festival. I was also very impressed by Big Mama Red being our "dressing room sponsor" - that meant we had a fridge stocked full of wine, beer, champagne, plus food catered by Jonesy's including seafood sandwich, sliders, cheese plate, and a plethora of other stuff that I was too scared to nibble on before I went on.


Umm alcohol. My friend...


Umm cupcakes and candy. My enemies...


Tigger! having a handful of Calamity.

Chicava Honeychild also from NYC but who is originally from Boulder, Colorado was also at the festival. We both decided that next time we should stay in Denver at the hotel where everyone is staying. Her mom saw her Hot Science act for the first time ever at the festival. It was like her coming-out show. Her mom apparently loved it and said she liked my fan dance too.

Since being back in NYC, I've hit the ground running. I am also expanding the performers I book at Nurse Bettie. Now that the Slipper Room has closed, I feel like there are a lot of performers who were doing regular gigs there but now are free to take other gigs. I can't pay them as well but if they are willing, I'm willing! I am also implement a "Sacrificial Lamb" program at Nurse Bettie - for newbies who have performed under 20times to gain more stage and live audience experience. It's unpaid but for the exposure, it's worth it. Believe me, I came from that route too back when I only performed once a month, but I would rehearse and rehearse all month in preparation for that ONE act in one night. Then when I finally was on stage doing the act, things would always go unexpectedly such as wardrobe malfunction, different crowd than expected, or just nerves. I am a big proponent of gaining as much live experience as possible. It gives you more improvisation skills which ultimately makes you a more confident performer at ease in any space and with any crowd.

(Cold beer in an air-conditioned is so good! I'm drinking a bud select 55 as I'm blogging. its only 55 calories! Michael is drinking something called Natural Light on the other side of the room watching P90X)

A few of us involved in Beatles Burlesque worked on some logo explorations for Juliet Jeske's bakery busines, "Sure Thing: Sweets & Treats". I agreed to create a logo brand for her, design and build a web site for her in exchange for 4-5 batches of Beatles Burlesque cookies to give out at the shows. At the last gig, they were gone in no time! I didn't even get to keep one. So the logos look like this:

I'm not going to say who did what, but can you guess? Haha. Ask Juliet which one she picked. The web site will be coming soon!

We just ordered from Domino's pizza tonight. Now, I was a total Domino's Pizza hater. I thought the food was disgusting and I haven't had it since I left Texas after high school. I've only ever ordered it once in all 11 years in NYC and it was terrible! But a few months ago, I went on their web site and I was so IMPRESSED with their site interface and the OMG-online ordering Flash interface! It lets you customize your own pizza, choose a coupon, choose the toppings and you see pictures of your topping animate in on the pizza! Big buttons. I love big buttons. Graphics that explain everything. Great iconography. After you submit your order, it gives you a tracker of whether your pizza is being prepared, baked, or out for delivery. And even gives you the name of the delivery guy! Like "How was Luis in getting your order to you?"

What a great online experience! This beats calling on the phone to order delivery! The interface was big and easy to use. And for some reason being able to click on "Spinach" and see little pieces of spinach appear on the pizza was an extremely rewarding user experience.

Last notes: I think Chewie waited til we were asleep and sauntered into the living room where a chicken bone was on the low table top, and ate it! We couldn't find the bone anywhere today. Also finally tried out DBGB Tuesday night. I didn't order the burger but I got a sausage and that was delicious. But I ate too late and that always gives me a stomach ache in the middle of the night always around 3am. DBGB does have great restrooms for a public shag though, after Double Crown/Madame Geneva. :)

Eager to Lose @ The Tank, Nurse Bettie, Suicide Girl

Wednesday night I performed at Tansy's show "Eager to Lose: A Panto Burlesque" at The Tank. The show was basically a burlesque show but with an element of theater to it with back stories of the dancers and the skivvy cabaret owner. It was quasi-Christopher Isherwood short story, like burlesque meets Amistad Maupin. It has a lot of room to grown into something really other worldly especially if you are stepping off from tourists central on 45th street and 8th avenue. Tansy picked a group of really great people for her inaugural show. Gemini Rising, Albert Cadabra, Grace Gotham, two new hot gogo dancers (Lambchop and Tipsy Rose Lee) who I have already recruited to gogo at the next Beatles Burlesque show on Monday, July 12. They both have such cute names! Lambchop! Just makes you want to say it over and over again. Mint and lambchop. Chutney and lambchop. Sauteed lambchop. Lambchop on the parilla. YUMMM!!!!!!

The Tank did have a really nice black box stage and I was smitten with the floor! It was cushier than the usual shit so dancing on 5inch heels did not hurt my knees. There was a proper dressing room two flights up but the stairs are a fucking nightmare!!! Five minutes before show, Tansy almost slipped but caught herself and ended up ripping her shoulder. She did 4 acts and could barely lift her arm but she toughed it out even though she was clearly in a lot of pain. Last I heard, she's in a sling and is okay. But what a bummer, cause she was supposed to be in my Thursday night Nurse Bettie show but I had to find someone else to step in, and fortunately Scooter Pie was available.

I like this picture in particular because of how creepy Albert looks by the door. He's like, "...I'm gonna CUT CHOO fool!" Then he's like:

"WHAT! Whatchoo lookin, at fool!?"

I did my black fan number and the nun. The black fan is what I'll be doing at the Colorado Burlesque Festival NEXT weekend!! I am so excited! One of my best gf lives in Boulder and she just bought a new swanky house so I'm also excited to see her new pad, and pig out on some seitan and vegetarian food that's plenty easy to find in Boulder. I know...I really should just abandon this meat thing but I love chicken and fish too much! Altho... I do love faux-chicken too so much. Agh!! It's an existential food crisis!

I renewed my contract at the day job for another two weeks cause they really are massaging my brain in a major way that's really stimulating. But I negotiated a new term where I will not be working more than 10 hours a day, and if I go over, I can leave early the next day. This is much better. And will allow me to do my shows and see my non-burlesque friends which is becoming rarer and rarer - my guy friends don't seem to mind as much as the girl friends. I just don't have time to sit at a bar drinking for hours and I can't really eat out at restaurants 3x a week because A) it's expensive and B) restaurant food makes me gain weight in the blink of an eye. Oh well. All in all though, I am happy pursuing this path wherever it'll lead me. I'm definitely having more fun, excitement, glamour, and crazy shit than ever in my life!

Last night was the Nurse Bettie show with ALL girls, so fun! I intro-ed Weirdee Girl as "The Martha Stewart of Burlesque" because I keep seeing her do acts where she uses food on her body. One time it was cheese, last night it was cranberry sauce. Rosebud did a new act that is a fetish that really turns her on, mummifying and restriction. She used saran wrap and rolled herself into it to Pink Floyd's "Comfortably Numb" - it was pretty awe-inspiring. I did an easy act last night, the red tequila priestess act. Craig took some photos with his phone.

Those of you who have been around the scene long enough may notice that this costume and music (Tito & Tarantula's After Dark) is exactly the same as Jo Boob's Aztec act. I did not know this when I came up with the act, which really isn't original like my equestrian act since I basically ripped off of "From Dusk til Dawn" and copied Selma Hayek's headpiece. But just for the record, I did tell Jo that I accidentally did the same act. In hers as she described in her new burlesque handbook, she wears red flame contacts. I've never seen her do this act myself, but she being the diplomatic educator, said I can go for it because she doesn't do this act very much anymore.

After the show, I met Sauci Calla Horra from Toronto! She's the one who produces the Toronto Burlesque Festival happening in a week! We talked for a long time about the different scenes, and other shows and people we knew in common. As you may or may not know, I did not get in the Toronto festival as much as I wanted to, and she and I talked about my application. She was so nice about it, even almost apologizing to me about how close I was in the process. I in turned felt bad about making her feel bad about not accepting my number. I should have submitted my nun act or hello kitty or even the equestrian bondage act, but at the time of application, I didn't have any of those acts ready. Rosewood did say to me to submit and act that is beaten up, tried and true, and not submit a new act. I should have listened to her! Anyway, I told Sauci I will definitely apply again next year and if I go to Toronto, I would love to perform anytime she wants me to. She and her partner went to see Rosewood at The Box after wards, and I texted Rose and she said she is doing a "blackface" act!! I've been dying for someone to do blackface. It's kind of an obsession of mine. Bella Balls and I joke about her doing it. So I may stop by Saturday night to see Rose do blackface - its the last frontier!

I also applied to be a Suicide Girl and was accepted. I know they are soooo late 90's but they've grown into a huge corporate money-making business selling "alternative erotica". It'll increase my visibility and get some extra money and gigs. I will be working on my set (70-100 photos) with Michael as soon as he comes back from Toronto. They have a VERY strict set of rules when it comes to the kind of photos they want. Like NO dudes. Even if they are blurry in the background. Or touching, spreading. I'm excited by this new SG venture!