How many of you have met a guy, flirted notoriously with each other, exchanged phone number (and even IM handles and Facebook friended), went out a few times, made out in public (and/or in private), and then - NOTHING. No further dates but still some random texting, IM-ing, or an occasional Facebook status comment. And no explanation.
I recently had to de-friend a friend because he was guilty of aforementioned behavior. In the past it never bothered me when he told me his dating stories, the mishaps, the "crazy" ones, the stalkers, etc. I always thought it was entertaining, albeit a little sad, and also because I never knew any of these "crazy" women he was seeing. But recently, it hit closer to home because the women are my friends. These are not just casual friends but friends I have invited over to my house for dinner and spend holidays with. There were at least three women who came back to ask me how well I know him and what his "deal" was. At first I wasn't sure what they were asking but with further questioning I realized that the women felt, to a greater or lesser degree, led on by his flirting, messaging, going out, kissing, then sudden vagueness and lack of committing to doing anything else. I've been in NYC for eleven years now and I've had long relationships, short non-committal ones and my share of one-night stands. It's no secret that NYC is dating heaven for men. There are 3 women to 1 men here, and this city not only condones but encourages the "Peter Pan Syndrome." Recently one of my best friends met a really interesting and handsome man through her friends. He joined them for dinner almost every night, they shared drinks, and had lively conversations. She felt a spark between them which was further flamed when they went back to her place and shared a kiss. He didn't spend the night because he said he really liked her and didn't want to move too fast. I was so excited for her when she told me this because I'm very protective of her and I want her to find someone who loves and respects her. But then the next day rolled around and nothing from him. Day turned into weeks and nothing begot nothing. Whatever plans he had to see her went away. And that was it! She told me she felt like maybe she imagined the whole connection and spark. (He is not married or already has a girlfriend).
So when my girl friends come to me and tell me this or asks, "What is his deal?", I see the disappointment in their eyes and I feel their feelings of rejection. We've all been there before realizing that, Oh, he must have many other hotter, better options than me. Then the self-doubt settles in and you ask if you imagined the whole connection, you ask if maybe you read into the situation more than there was, and insecurity sets in. This is NOT behavior that is respectful to women. This is selfish, irresponsible, and cowardly! And it's behavior appropriate to 20 year olds! I always tell my guy friends that if they don't want to romantically date someone anymore or maybe they hooked up once but doesn't want to continue the sexual part of the relationship to just be an adult and talk about it openly! Or at least give an explanation why you suddenly are no longer interested. I'm also a huge proponent of women asking the man "why". Something as adult and simply as, "Hey, I thought we made a connection but maybe you didn't feel the same way as I did?" That's all and then you can move on! I think of all the times I've wasted when I was younger pondering and obsessing about some guy's interest or lack-of or why-did-he-did-this-or-that, and if I could hottube timemachine myself back I would be a lot more direct (but not confrontational) and take control of the situation and my wildly careering feelings and moods. Women waste so much of our time obsessing about things like this when that energy can be rechanneled to more fruitful and rewarding things. This robs us of our creativity.
Frankly... I got tired of defending his actions and I am not condoning this kind of behavior anymore. It breeds bad self-esteem in women and it makes women feel bad about themselves. Using lame platitudes such as "I'm commitment phobic" (but not sexually phobic as demonstrated by groping you all over, hello!) is just intellectually AND emotionally LAZY. Respect for women means many things. One of which is respect for their feelings. You owe it to the woman who gave birth to you to be honest and kind. Even if you are not interested in them anymore or regretted that drunken kiss or hook up, you can be a man and say so kindly.
Nov 23, 2010
Nov 17, 2010
Eyelash Deficiency & Mascaras
It's no secret that in Asia women are obsessed with skin care but in the last few years, I've noticed a new obsession with eyelashes! I have tried eyelash extensions in Koreatown as well as by my friend Rosie who painstakingly glues individual silk lashes onto your eyelash baseline to create a wide-eyed look without ever having to use mascara (Rosie's salon also includes makeup for parties, weddings, and she's also an expert at brow shaping. She works out of the downstairs salon at LES boutique Honey in the Rough).
I loved the eyelash extensions which last about 3 weeks if you are careful. But since I have to wear false eyelashes so much for shows, it's an indulgence I can't have anymore. So what does a Chinese girl with average length and average volume eyelashes do when she's not in stage makeup? FIBERWIG!!!!
This is my all-time favorite mascara because it actually contains fiberous material (like the ones you find in wigs) but in the mascara. Each eyelash is coated with this thing - which is totally safe for your eyes - and makes your eyes look amazingly big. I always curl my lashes first, then I put just ONE coat of Fiberwig on, then curl again. I don't think non-Asians will benefit that much from this product cause non-Asians are already naturally blessed with long, luscious beautiful eyelashes...I often put mascara on boyfriends - so dreamy! I want to secretly steal their eyelashes and put them on my eyes! What do boys need such long, luscious, volumous lashes for anyway??
But last week I ran out of Fiberwig and haven't had time to go to Sephora to replenish so instead I've also been trying out a couple of other ones made by Rimmel.
The first one I tried was Rimmel's Max Bold Curves and it fucked up my lashes! Although it wasn't clumpy per say, it clumped my lashes together so it looked like my lashes were spikes. Very weird. I wans't so happy with it. The second one was Glam'Eyes Day2Night also by Rimmel. The packaging is neat with two separate wands, one for "length" and one for "volume". I honestly can't tell the difference with "length" vs. "volume" and that applies to ALL mascaras - but that's only probably because Asians don't have a lot of eyelash. So far, this one is okay but it doesn't have the "sticky" factor that Fiberwig has. What I mean by "sticky" factor is that with Fiberwig, after you apply it, you can curl your lashes again and it stays that way! Yes! You don't have to go out and get those "heated" eyelash curlers to create that fake-eyelash perm look - Oh, yes I've tried that too.
So I believe this girl is going back to Fiberwig. Btw, of course Fiberwig is a great fit for me - it is a Japanese product made by Imju - and they know they are working with short, straight lashes! And Imju just came out with a new-upgraded Fiberwig called Fiberwig LX that I can't wait to try.
In other news, I am so excited that Michael will be playing with Reckless Place is playing tomorrow night at Ace of Clubs on Great Jones Street - 9pm. And the burlesque photo show before that. Friday is Tails & Feathers and Saturday Coco de Mer! Meow!
I loved the eyelash extensions which last about 3 weeks if you are careful. But since I have to wear false eyelashes so much for shows, it's an indulgence I can't have anymore. So what does a Chinese girl with average length and average volume eyelashes do when she's not in stage makeup? FIBERWIG!!!!
This is my all-time favorite mascara because it actually contains fiberous material (like the ones you find in wigs) but in the mascara. Each eyelash is coated with this thing - which is totally safe for your eyes - and makes your eyes look amazingly big. I always curl my lashes first, then I put just ONE coat of Fiberwig on, then curl again. I don't think non-Asians will benefit that much from this product cause non-Asians are already naturally blessed with long, luscious beautiful eyelashes...I often put mascara on boyfriends - so dreamy! I want to secretly steal their eyelashes and put them on my eyes! What do boys need such long, luscious, volumous lashes for anyway??
But last week I ran out of Fiberwig and haven't had time to go to Sephora to replenish so instead I've also been trying out a couple of other ones made by Rimmel.
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| From the top: Rimmel Max Bold Curves, Glam'Eyes Day2Night, Fiberwig |
The first one I tried was Rimmel's Max Bold Curves and it fucked up my lashes! Although it wasn't clumpy per say, it clumped my lashes together so it looked like my lashes were spikes. Very weird. I wans't so happy with it. The second one was Glam'Eyes Day2Night also by Rimmel. The packaging is neat with two separate wands, one for "length" and one for "volume". I honestly can't tell the difference with "length" vs. "volume" and that applies to ALL mascaras - but that's only probably because Asians don't have a lot of eyelash. So far, this one is okay but it doesn't have the "sticky" factor that Fiberwig has. What I mean by "sticky" factor is that with Fiberwig, after you apply it, you can curl your lashes again and it stays that way! Yes! You don't have to go out and get those "heated" eyelash curlers to create that fake-eyelash perm look - Oh, yes I've tried that too.
So I believe this girl is going back to Fiberwig. Btw, of course Fiberwig is a great fit for me - it is a Japanese product made by Imju - and they know they are working with short, straight lashes! And Imju just came out with a new-upgraded Fiberwig called Fiberwig LX that I can't wait to try.
In other news, I am so excited that Michael will be playing with Reckless Place is playing tomorrow night at Ace of Clubs on Great Jones Street - 9pm. And the burlesque photo show before that. Friday is Tails & Feathers and Saturday Coco de Mer! Meow!
Nov 14, 2010
Burlesque Makeup & an Old Picture
The most common question I get is, "What do you use to make your lips so glittery?" This is no big secret and here's what I do.
Right now I've been using a Chanel lipstick (Rouge Coco 22) then dabbing Mattese Elite Fairy Dust in Red on top of the lipstick application. You can really use any lipstick color and dab a similar glitter on top to achieve that glittery lip look. Just be careful about the kind of glitter you get because they have to be non-metallic and have to say "for body, hair, and face" otherwise the craft glitter from craft stores can be toxic. Likewise the body glitter that I use on stage is by "Opal Ice" by Ben Nye which you can get for $15 at Halloween Adventure shop store on 4th Avenue. I was using the smaller Mattese size but Gal Friday turned me onto the Ben Nye 6oz. Sparklers which will last you a LONG time. Wet N Wild used to make this great and much cheaper body glitter called MegaSparkle that was available at drug stores for about $6. I haven't been able to find it in NYC anymore but outside of NYC there might be some still in stock. That product also worked so great and I miss it! Wet N Wild, if you read this, please bring it back!
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| First is lipstick of your choosing, then dabbing on Mattese red glitter and voila! |
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| Ben Nye's Sparkler |
When I was cleaning the other day I found an old picture when I worked as a cigarette girl for Miss Kitty's Koncessions in Dallas. This picture is circa 1993 or 1994 and we were about to go in Club One in Deep Ellum. I forget the blonde girl's name but she was someone I hired. I also managed the Dallas office for Miss Kitty (whose real name I also forgot but she was one of those club kids from NYC/LA and later on sold her very successful cigarette girl business and went to law school!), and I also did all the hiring and interviewing of aspiring cigarette girls. It was the best high school job ever! Sure beat telemarketing and selling ads for the local high school football calendar (true story!).
We had total access to all the best clubs in Deep Ellum like Club One (where all the ecstacy was coming out of, if you were there during that time, or if you read any books about the history and culture of ecstacy) and Club Clearview, and maybe one called FishDance? We would work the clubs and sell cigarettes and candy and rave toys. Sometimes we worked raves too in warehouses in nowhere downtown Dallas. It was so dirty that our fishnets left marks on our legs. I also met all kinds of crazy characters and drove around all the time in Dallas meeting club owners and managers to get them to let us work there for a night - umm... not much has changed cause this sounds much like my life now. Miss Kitty had TONS of costumes that we picked out every night to wear. They were all funky and crazy and I think she made most of them herself. The one I'm wearing here was my favorite made of a dark blue velvet. It was made for a Barney's event. One costume that I remember had a jack-in-the-box in the headpiece. Ah good times!
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| Being a cigarette girl back in 1993ish in Dallas, Texas. |
Nov 13, 2010
News of all types!
So my parents have come and gone, and it was a very successful trip! They loved Beatles Burlesque on Monday night and they also really enjoyed the scenery along the Delaware River. We found a few waterfalls near Milford, PA and one of them was self-titled "The Niagara of Pennsylvania" - Bushkill Falls. I thought that was really funny considering that my pee-ing is bigger than some of the "waterfalls" in the park. Haha. We cooked dinner in the cabin at night and looked at the local stores during the day. I don't need to see another candle shop again in my life, much like my experience in Rome and Florence. I don't need to go inside another church in my life again either!
They came to the Beatles Burlesque show and I have to admit, this past month's show was my personal favorite. There was a lot of variety in terms of guest musicians and a guest vocalist. Michael Cunio from Reckless Place (and Jersey Boys Chicago) has such great stage presence and he writhed on stage during Helter Skelter like fucking Axel Rose in his leather pants. He is also the lead singer for Reckless Place, the band Michael is now in, and they are playing this Thursday night at Ace of Clubs on Great Jones Street! 9 PM with a bunch of other rock bands!
I am really excited to see this show and not just because before the show, I'm going to see the Unsung Heroes of Burlesque photography opening with Dame Cuchifrita AND that upstairs from the Ace of Clubs is one of my favorite Cajun restaurants in all of NYC, Acme! I need an Oyster Po' Boy and a night to do other things and support Michael's show with Reckless so I won't be a Nurse Bettie this Thursday night. The following week is Thanksgiving so there are no shows on Wednesday and Thursday. The next time I'll be at Nurse Bettie is December 2 with Minnie Tonka, Fem Appeal, Gal Friday, Tansy, and Brassy.
This past Thursday at NB I was getting ready behind our curtain when suddenly this little dark-haired pixie stuck her head inside and handed me a makeup case. It was so dark back there I didn't realize what it was until I opened it and saw a caseful of LIERAC skin beauty products from my favorite makeup artist Tina Turnbow (who does MU on celebrities like Christina Hendricks and who is a contributing writer for the likes of Marie Claire and Beauty Banter.
I've been using a product they have called Bust Lift - I figure preventive measures can't hurt, right? And now I'm incorporating more night and day items into my regiment. There were so many products in there that it took me a while to figure out what product to use and how. Very exciting!
A couple of other show-related news:
3. Looks like Macao Trading Company will also be doing something special for their New Year's Eve dinner party as well. I will be announcing that shortly...as soon as I finish designing the flyer for that night! Last year I was at Chow Bar doing Dim Sum Burlesque's NYE dinner/show and went to Macao afterwards and danced on the top of their dining table as Bryan Helm documented here!
Tonight I am gogo dancing at Kings County Bar in Bushwick/East Williamsburg tonight with Deity, Belle a Go-Go and Stormy Leather. I'm so excited cause I put together 3 KILLER outfits to wear tonight. I LOVE gogo-ing nights sometimes you just wanna dance (not to sound totally like one of those "I'm a happy girl with my white iPod riding my bike and I LOVE the world and I LOVE my life!!!") but .... yeah I do love to dance and eat a big burger afterwards at 3am then finding money in your bra later.
Monday November 15 "Drunken Dragon Night" at Macao and Sapphire Jones will be performing! I'm very excited to have her there for the first time. The open bar this Monday is provided by Wild Turkey from 9-11pm. Show is at 11pm. Free admission.
Saturday November 20 is "Spreading the Curtains" at Coco de Mer and also The Naughty Housewife's birthday celebration so please RSVP because it's going to sell out again. I have a new act that I'm debuting that night and we have a very special group act as well. He he. The line-up is Peekaboo Pointe, Lil Steph from Philly who was showcased in this year's Ms. Exotic World. Please call the NY store at (212) 966-9069 to RSVP. Open bar provided by 42Below. $25cover. Show starts at 8pm.
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| Me, Chewie and my Dad! |
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| Our cabin by the Delaware River. Cozy but a little dirty and I did see a mouse. |
They came to the Beatles Burlesque show and I have to admit, this past month's show was my personal favorite. There was a lot of variety in terms of guest musicians and a guest vocalist. Michael Cunio from Reckless Place (and Jersey Boys Chicago) has such great stage presence and he writhed on stage during Helter Skelter like fucking Axel Rose in his leather pants. He is also the lead singer for Reckless Place, the band Michael is now in, and they are playing this Thursday night at Ace of Clubs on Great Jones Street! 9 PM with a bunch of other rock bands!
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| Michael Cunio who wears eyeliner really well! |
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| OMG the hotness factor with these three was INSANE!!! |
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| I didn't take any clothes off! But I was a little potty-mouthed. |
I've been using a product they have called Bust Lift - I figure preventive measures can't hurt, right? And now I'm incorporating more night and day items into my regiment. There were so many products in there that it took me a while to figure out what product to use and how. Very exciting!
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| Lierac - my latest beauty obsession |
A couple of other show-related news:
- Beatles Burlesque will be at Crash Mansion on Monday, December 12. Show starts at 10pm! Same $10 just in Manhattan this time. Michael and I went by the space to check out the stage and it is very nice. Hardwood floors, a big stage, no dressing room just a green room so we'll have to bring a mirror on our own. But the space definitely feels more intimate with low ceilings and banquet-style booths and small cabaret-style tables in the front. Plus they are in Manhattan right by Bowery Ballroom, near many subway stops. Hopefully that will entice the Manhattanites to are reluctant to go out on a Monday night to bring their bodies out to this awesome show!
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| Inside the Green Room of December's Beatles Burlesque |
- I have a new show called "Tails & Feathers" starting Friday, November 19 at Toro Lounge which is the Smyth Thompson Hotel's downstairs lounge in TriBeCa! The show is free with complimentary drinks from 10-11pm and the show starts at 11pm. This inaugural show will feature some of my favorite performers who I am very familiar with, not only their personalities, the quality of work they bring, but also their oeuvre (haha, I felt like using that now). Gal Friday, Bird of Paradise, and I'm thrilled to bring Shelly Watson's goose-bump-enducing, move you to tears opera singing to this show! The event manager was very excited about having opera there as am I! I have a feeling this will become a monthly show or even bi-monthly. Fingers crossed that the Tribeca folks will like it!
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| New show! Tails & Feathers at Toro Lounge in The Smyth Hotel/Thompson Tribeca |
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| Toro Lounge |
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| Toro Lounge |
3. Looks like Macao Trading Company will also be doing something special for their New Year's Eve dinner party as well. I will be announcing that shortly...as soon as I finish designing the flyer for that night! Last year I was at Chow Bar doing Dim Sum Burlesque's NYE dinner/show and went to Macao afterwards and danced on the top of their dining table as Bryan Helm documented here!
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| NYE 2009 |
Monday November 15 "Drunken Dragon Night" at Macao and Sapphire Jones will be performing! I'm very excited to have her there for the first time. The open bar this Monday is provided by Wild Turkey from 9-11pm. Show is at 11pm. Free admission.
Saturday November 20 is "Spreading the Curtains" at Coco de Mer and also The Naughty Housewife's birthday celebration so please RSVP because it's going to sell out again. I have a new act that I'm debuting that night and we have a very special group act as well. He he. The line-up is Peekaboo Pointe, Lil Steph from Philly who was showcased in this year's Ms. Exotic World. Please call the NY store at (212) 966-9069 to RSVP. Open bar provided by 42Below. $25cover. Show starts at 8pm.
Nov 4, 2010
Photos from !BadAss! 6th Anniversary Show by Stacie Joy
This series of my Aztec Priestess/Dusk til Dawn series was taken by Stacie Joy at Velocity Chyaldd's !BadAss! 6th Anniversary show at LPR. It's the last monthly of BadAss before becoming a seasonal show with an even bigger cast in 2011 with some proceeds going towards the non-profit close to her heart RAINN.The lighting at LPR is amazing and dramatic. They changed it for every performer based on our costume and choreography. I didn't see one photo that was unflattering which is VERY unusual.
Thanks Stacie!
Oct 29, 2010
Men Talking About Fatherhood
Everyone knows that advertising is a heavily-male dominated industry. It's not as bad as it was in the Mad Men days (how I loath to have to reference that show every time I talk about advertising), and we certainly have our share of powerful ECDs (Executive Creative Director) who are women and I've had my share of experiences witnessing some of these top figureheads dominate the room and run the show with two pairs of balls (one pair hers, the other pair someone else's that she now owns. ha!). I have been sitting in the "creative pit" at (unnamed) agency where all the freelance ADs (Art Director) and CWs (Copywriter) sit. I am the ONLY girl in a roomful of 10, and I have been so surprised all week to hear these guys' conversations throughout the day.
Contrary to what I thought I would hear, these guys (well at least about 3-4 of them) have all been recently minted to fatherhood. They've been sharing stories about what their kids (mostly all under 2 years old) want to dress up as for Halloween (one guy's family are all dressing up as characters from Toy Story), whether they've flown with the babies, how they can't wait til they are old enough to take to Europe, how much they LOVE spending time with their kids and LOVE family vacations, and I think from what leaked into my headphones, is that they all have boys and they are SOOO easy compared to girls who are all full of drama!
Have to admit I am pleasantly surprised by what I hear these guys say amongst each other, away from their significant others. I would have thought they would bitch and complain and bemoan the loss of their single, bachelor lives, talk about who they want to "bang" (hot chicks), or stupid sex stories or their balls. Whatever is base. Then I started wondering where I got these pre-conceived notions of what I expect of men (nothing, hahah jk!). This is obviously the beginning of a long deep gender-soul-searching journey, but I immediately thought of TV sitcoms. Specifically I thought of "Two & a Half Men" and "King of Queens" - probably the two most misogynistic and stereotyped shows on television. Doug from King of Queens is an overweight and selfish loaf, someone who longs to be better but is too lazy and cowardly to be someone else than the environment he was born into. Even though Two & a Half Men's characters are full-on parodies, these shows still perpetuate the idea that long term love and commitment are something that becomes a drag in the long run. All the characters hate their lives from the womanizing Charlie to idiotic Carrie and at any given moment they complain about the compromises they've had to made to make a life together or the sacrifices they've made to be with the person they supposedly love. The premise of the "joke" is that you are naive and an idiot if you believe in true love that is nurturing, supportive, passionate and soulful - that if you really believe love can be sustained through the monotony of daily existence and living, then hello, the JOKE IS ON YOU. What a stupid setup! There is a lesson I'm supposed to learn about this... somewhere.
Okay I'm done ranting and getting out of work to start my long crazy Halloween weekend! Last year my friends and I went to eat Momofuku's special fried chicken dinner at midnight, then they all went out late but I went home cause I was so nervous about the opening night of Dim Sum Burlesque at Chow Bar the next day on Sunday, November 1. Wow. So much has happened since a year ago!
Saturday night, I'm at FBOMB first at The Delancey. I go on at midnight. Then I will jet over to Webster Hall Circus for Shane.
Then Sunday is "Not Your Standard Bingo" at The Standard Hotel starting at 10pm! They are having burlesque for the first time there and I am STOKED!!!!
Contrary to what I thought I would hear, these guys (well at least about 3-4 of them) have all been recently minted to fatherhood. They've been sharing stories about what their kids (mostly all under 2 years old) want to dress up as for Halloween (one guy's family are all dressing up as characters from Toy Story), whether they've flown with the babies, how they can't wait til they are old enough to take to Europe, how much they LOVE spending time with their kids and LOVE family vacations, and I think from what leaked into my headphones, is that they all have boys and they are SOOO easy compared to girls who are all full of drama!
Have to admit I am pleasantly surprised by what I hear these guys say amongst each other, away from their significant others. I would have thought they would bitch and complain and bemoan the loss of their single, bachelor lives, talk about who they want to "bang" (hot chicks), or stupid sex stories or their balls. Whatever is base. Then I started wondering where I got these pre-conceived notions of what I expect of men (nothing, hahah jk!). This is obviously the beginning of a long deep gender-soul-searching journey, but I immediately thought of TV sitcoms. Specifically I thought of "Two & a Half Men" and "King of Queens" - probably the two most misogynistic and stereotyped shows on television. Doug from King of Queens is an overweight and selfish loaf, someone who longs to be better but is too lazy and cowardly to be someone else than the environment he was born into. Even though Two & a Half Men's characters are full-on parodies, these shows still perpetuate the idea that long term love and commitment are something that becomes a drag in the long run. All the characters hate their lives from the womanizing Charlie to idiotic Carrie and at any given moment they complain about the compromises they've had to made to make a life together or the sacrifices they've made to be with the person they supposedly love. The premise of the "joke" is that you are naive and an idiot if you believe in true love that is nurturing, supportive, passionate and soulful - that if you really believe love can be sustained through the monotony of daily existence and living, then hello, the JOKE IS ON YOU. What a stupid setup! There is a lesson I'm supposed to learn about this... somewhere.
Okay I'm done ranting and getting out of work to start my long crazy Halloween weekend! Last year my friends and I went to eat Momofuku's special fried chicken dinner at midnight, then they all went out late but I went home cause I was so nervous about the opening night of Dim Sum Burlesque at Chow Bar the next day on Sunday, November 1. Wow. So much has happened since a year ago!
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| Shane on the right, I love Shane! And his backup dancers. |
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| Thats me doing a fan dance to Kei$ha's "Take It Off" |
Then Sunday is "Not Your Standard Bingo" at The Standard Hotel starting at 10pm! They are having burlesque for the first time there and I am STOKED!!!!
Oct 27, 2010
Some photos of RZipper w/Diamondsnake
Here are some photos of Rhinestone Zipper with Phil and Moby at Diamondsnake's "secret" CMJ show. There are more pictures here but be warned the Village Scum takes some totally NSFW photos of ladies!
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| With Phil |
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| With Moby |
We are dancing with them again on November 4 at The Lebowski Festival at Brooklyn Bowl and again on December 4 location TBA.
Oct 25, 2010
Weekend Recap & Chow Bar - What? It's Closed!?!
Ugh who wants to go to work on Mondays? NOBODY! I'm going back on site for the week in the area I call the taint of Manhattan (midtown) where all the big ad agencies are. No, it's not like Mad Men. Thank god cause I think Don Draper is a lame cliché construction of male fantasies like the Marlboro Men mythology placed in an urban contemporary context. Yeah so I'm annoyed that I have to go back to work but I have to cause burlesque does not my lifestyle make.
I am bemoaning my sad having to work tomorrow-ness by reliving my weekend now. Saturday night I saw Maddy Mann's Bible StorieZ at Ars Nova and it was just IMPRESSIVE. I'ts unbelievable the amount of talent and innovation Maddy exhibited at the show along with Lexi and Noah. Ars Nova, first off, has an amazing performance space with high-tech lighting and the show was a REAL professional show with a real sound tech, lighting technician, and a director who worked with them on all aspect of the show. It was only one-night so I'm really sorry if you missed it because I've never seen anything like what they do. Sure, many people who've been in NYC for ten years will say, "Hey I saw this underground theater troupe do Bible stories retold" blah blah but this is not your typical underground, self-indulgent artist diatribe about Christianity refashioned as parody/farce. Maddy Mann's retellings of Bible stories are accessible (not obtuse and filled with reference that's not accessible to the general audience), entertaining (pop songs, broadway songs), and more than anything else that impressed me, clever and brilliant at times. There were times when their translation of lyrics through choreography and dialogue made me catch myself clapping so enthusiastically and fervently that I felt like a total idiot. Thankfully the people next to me were laughing and clapping with equal (and more) ardor so I didn't felt like "clapper in the dark". (how's that for a sneak attack Bjork reference!)
I was SO SO happy to see Maddy and gang do their thing on a proper big stage with all the right setup. The first time I saw them was when they did "Lot's Wife" at Harlow's Hideaway and that was the night that I realized their ingenuity and that anyone who books them knows their shit and I wanted to be in Honi Harlow's show!! I've seen Maddy and Lexi work it out even at the tiny stage at Nurse Bettie when I've booked them there a few times and they were great. But to see them on the real stage was simply amazing. I was smitten with glee to see new Bible stories that I haven't seen them do before last night. Among some of the new ones were Samson & Delilah, Eve & the Serpent, Cain & Abel, and a viral music video to "Jonah and the Whale". People were going nuts at the end of the show when Maddy did his sign language interpretation of Avril Lavigne's "I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend" - Brilliant! It's a travesty that it's only one-night!
I couldn't stay til the very end and congratulate the boys (I knew they would be swamped anyway) and also cause Michael's friend was shooting My Morning Jacket just a block away at Terminal 5 and got us backstage passes to go and see the concert. We hightailed it over right after Maddy's show and went in through the loading dock. It was packed inside but the VIP area was not so bad except everyone was standing on the chair and sitting on the ledge and I could not see anything. I have heard of My Morning Jacket but know nothing of their music. I thought they were alt rock or something but noooooo - they were like stoner, psychedelia with country influence. There seemed to be a lot of "fratty" type of guys with ill-fitting white tshirts and flannel shirts tied around the waist and of course the baseball cap. Except these guys were WAY TOO OLD to be in college!! I'm also claustrophobic and I really hate being shoulder-to-shoulder with a lot of people. I don't like being squished and I don't like being near a lot of strangers. This is why I will never go to big concerts like Lollapolooza or whatever it is that people do now. At best, I get stressed and scared in big crowded venues (unless I'm on stage and far, far away from the rest of the people then I'm happy as a kite). At worst, I get really antagonistic and just start pushing people. There was a guy who was obliviously taking photos in the dark with his camera held up to his face. He didn't see Michael coming up the stairs and totally bumped him into the mirror on the wall. I was pretty irritated already by the crowd and stupid frat people, this was just the opportunity I wanted to vent my UGH-ness. So I shoved him and said what's your fucking problem when I walked by him. Alas, the music was so loud I don't think he heard me. And I have a really painful hangnail on my right index finger so the shove wasn't that forceful. He probably thought I was hitting on him. So much for being Ms. Tough Girl.
So we hightailed it after about 40 minutes and a beer. Then we went back down to our hood to InBorn NYC's 3rd year anniversary party. Rey Jerez is our tattoo artist. Yes, Michael and I BY COINCIDENCE have the same artist. When we first met, it was pretty cool to find that out like OMG we are meant to be together! Rey did the feathers on my forearms and the big plume feather on my back. I am getting more as soon as I figure out what I want. It was all rock metal bands and we actually didn't see any bands play, because something with the drum kit being moved. There was a low level irritation/depression going on all day with me and some things that I saw there really set me off on a crazy spin. Thankfully my friend Rebecca and her friends came to meet us and then we decided to just go next door to Chloe. The music was fun downstairs but definitely more geared towards girls cause all the girls were dancing and none of the dudes were. The place is small and reminded me of the old Double Happiness on Mott Street but better lit. Anyway it was like 3 to 1 girls to guys. One of our friends met us there and the door guy kinda gave him some attitude cause he wasn't dressed right and he said there were too many guys. If I was single, this would be SOCIAL SUICIDE going there to a taco festival. Then there was some other drama involving one of the owners and my friend which I am not allowed to discuss openly. So on principle I said, I'm outta here. But I made everyone leave with me. HA! That is the power of the Changstang when she is on her path of self righteousness and conviction.
We piled down further south into real Chinatown on Canal and Ludlow where my friend Adam (who is also the photographer who took this awesome portrait of Chewie and I years ago) said we should go to
this off-the-beaten-path real Chinatown karaoke bar. He's been talking about this place and calling it the "crazy place" cause it's all Chinese and no gringos. So we go there and I realize its the same karaoke bar that has been there for years and used to be owned by the owners of Good World. Obviously Good World is gone, they sold it to another person. True enough, the place is bare-bones and there were no gringos other than the ones I was rolling with last night, and another table of quiet gringos who kept to themselves and generally acted like they were very happy to be in a secret karaoke spot in Chinatown that's not Winnie's (Winnie's is not "secret" or "soooo Chinatown"). We ordered 2 plates of sausages which were the only things they had to offer and popcorn and we sang some songs. I should say everyone else sang and I was backup danced. I don't remember going home but I got home somehow. The next morning my bra was in the kitchen. No idea what might have transpired there...
I had a proper dinner at Macao Trading Company tonight with my old, dear friend Manny. I have only had the late night bar menu after Drunken Dragon Night, but tonight I ordered from the full menu and it was DELICIOUS! I love "Ants Climbing on Trees" that was my favorite dish and the swiss chard was so good too. Tomorrow night is another Drunken Dragon Night this time with Crystal Skull Vodka. Can I just say that even though I am doing a show for their open bar, it is incredibly difficult to get one of those coveted empty bottles even to use as a prop! They are getting me one, the small one to use for my act tomorrow night, but I believe I have to return it! The open bar is from 9-11pm and the show is at 11pm. There is no more intermission so come early or else you will miss the show or not be able to get in. It has been sauna-room-packed every single month.
I also found out tonight that Chow Bar has closed. Chow Bar was where it really started for me. I used to produce the "Dim Sum Burlesque" show there every Sunday. I started the show November 2009 and pulled the plug mid-May 2010 due to financial reasons. And I have always felt a little guilty ending the show because they had invested the money and time in building a stage for me, that expensive flocked vintage wallpaper, the spotlight, the giant poster of me, the postcards, and numerous other things. I just couldn't afford dishing out a couple hundred every Sunday. I was only getting cover, not the bar or food, and there were quiet nights when I had to pay everyone out of my own pocket. I started to feel like an island where I was not getting the support I needed from the venue and performers alik. There were a few who were kind and gracious enough to work for a tip split instead of the guaranteed pay during slow months like January and February, but there were also performers who snubbed the show when I was having the hardest and brokest time there. You can suss out pretty quickly those who want to stick with you through packed and thin nights and those who don't. I ain't judging. Just making an observation.
So anyway yes, Chow Bar has closed. Apparently they sold the business because of - financial reasons. Which explained a lot to me during the last months of unhappy negotiation with them. I feel a strange sense of relief hearing about this tonight because now I realize they had a lot more financial pressure on them than I probably realized, and it sounded like it was a financial black hole for them to keep the business. I doubt having "Dim Sum Burlesque" there on Sunday nights would have made a big difference in the long run so in a way I feel like my gut instincts were right, to make an exit when people still love you and not overstay one's welcome.
I am bemoaning my sad having to work tomorrow-ness by reliving my weekend now. Saturday night I saw Maddy Mann's Bible StorieZ at Ars Nova and it was just IMPRESSIVE. I'ts unbelievable the amount of talent and innovation Maddy exhibited at the show along with Lexi and Noah. Ars Nova, first off, has an amazing performance space with high-tech lighting and the show was a REAL professional show with a real sound tech, lighting technician, and a director who worked with them on all aspect of the show. It was only one-night so I'm really sorry if you missed it because I've never seen anything like what they do. Sure, many people who've been in NYC for ten years will say, "Hey I saw this underground theater troupe do Bible stories retold" blah blah but this is not your typical underground, self-indulgent artist diatribe about Christianity refashioned as parody/farce. Maddy Mann's retellings of Bible stories are accessible (not obtuse and filled with reference that's not accessible to the general audience), entertaining (pop songs, broadway songs), and more than anything else that impressed me, clever and brilliant at times. There were times when their translation of lyrics through choreography and dialogue made me catch myself clapping so enthusiastically and fervently that I felt like a total idiot. Thankfully the people next to me were laughing and clapping with equal (and more) ardor so I didn't felt like "clapper in the dark". (how's that for a sneak attack Bjork reference!)
I was SO SO happy to see Maddy and gang do their thing on a proper big stage with all the right setup. The first time I saw them was when they did "Lot's Wife" at Harlow's Hideaway and that was the night that I realized their ingenuity and that anyone who books them knows their shit and I wanted to be in Honi Harlow's show!! I've seen Maddy and Lexi work it out even at the tiny stage at Nurse Bettie when I've booked them there a few times and they were great. But to see them on the real stage was simply amazing. I was smitten with glee to see new Bible stories that I haven't seen them do before last night. Among some of the new ones were Samson & Delilah, Eve & the Serpent, Cain & Abel, and a viral music video to "Jonah and the Whale". People were going nuts at the end of the show when Maddy did his sign language interpretation of Avril Lavigne's "I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend" - Brilliant! It's a travesty that it's only one-night!
I couldn't stay til the very end and congratulate the boys (I knew they would be swamped anyway) and also cause Michael's friend was shooting My Morning Jacket just a block away at Terminal 5 and got us backstage passes to go and see the concert. We hightailed it over right after Maddy's show and went in through the loading dock. It was packed inside but the VIP area was not so bad except everyone was standing on the chair and sitting on the ledge and I could not see anything. I have heard of My Morning Jacket but know nothing of their music. I thought they were alt rock or something but noooooo - they were like stoner, psychedelia with country influence. There seemed to be a lot of "fratty" type of guys with ill-fitting white tshirts and flannel shirts tied around the waist and of course the baseball cap. Except these guys were WAY TOO OLD to be in college!! I'm also claustrophobic and I really hate being shoulder-to-shoulder with a lot of people. I don't like being squished and I don't like being near a lot of strangers. This is why I will never go to big concerts like Lollapolooza or whatever it is that people do now. At best, I get stressed and scared in big crowded venues (unless I'm on stage and far, far away from the rest of the people then I'm happy as a kite). At worst, I get really antagonistic and just start pushing people. There was a guy who was obliviously taking photos in the dark with his camera held up to his face. He didn't see Michael coming up the stairs and totally bumped him into the mirror on the wall. I was pretty irritated already by the crowd and stupid frat people, this was just the opportunity I wanted to vent my UGH-ness. So I shoved him and said what's your fucking problem when I walked by him. Alas, the music was so loud I don't think he heard me. And I have a really painful hangnail on my right index finger so the shove wasn't that forceful. He probably thought I was hitting on him. So much for being Ms. Tough Girl.
So we hightailed it after about 40 minutes and a beer. Then we went back down to our hood to InBorn NYC's 3rd year anniversary party. Rey Jerez is our tattoo artist. Yes, Michael and I BY COINCIDENCE have the same artist. When we first met, it was pretty cool to find that out like OMG we are meant to be together! Rey did the feathers on my forearms and the big plume feather on my back. I am getting more as soon as I figure out what I want. It was all rock metal bands and we actually didn't see any bands play, because something with the drum kit being moved. There was a low level irritation/depression going on all day with me and some things that I saw there really set me off on a crazy spin. Thankfully my friend Rebecca and her friends came to meet us and then we decided to just go next door to Chloe. The music was fun downstairs but definitely more geared towards girls cause all the girls were dancing and none of the dudes were. The place is small and reminded me of the old Double Happiness on Mott Street but better lit. Anyway it was like 3 to 1 girls to guys. One of our friends met us there and the door guy kinda gave him some attitude cause he wasn't dressed right and he said there were too many guys. If I was single, this would be SOCIAL SUICIDE going there to a taco festival. Then there was some other drama involving one of the owners and my friend which I am not allowed to discuss openly. So on principle I said, I'm outta here. But I made everyone leave with me. HA! That is the power of the Changstang when she is on her path of self righteousness and conviction.
We piled down further south into real Chinatown on Canal and Ludlow where my friend Adam (who is also the photographer who took this awesome portrait of Chewie and I years ago) said we should go to
 |
| Photo by Adam Cantor |
I had a proper dinner at Macao Trading Company tonight with my old, dear friend Manny. I have only had the late night bar menu after Drunken Dragon Night, but tonight I ordered from the full menu and it was DELICIOUS! I love "Ants Climbing on Trees" that was my favorite dish and the swiss chard was so good too. Tomorrow night is another Drunken Dragon Night this time with Crystal Skull Vodka. Can I just say that even though I am doing a show for their open bar, it is incredibly difficult to get one of those coveted empty bottles even to use as a prop! They are getting me one, the small one to use for my act tomorrow night, but I believe I have to return it! The open bar is from 9-11pm and the show is at 11pm. There is no more intermission so come early or else you will miss the show or not be able to get in. It has been sauna-room-packed every single month.
I also found out tonight that Chow Bar has closed. Chow Bar was where it really started for me. I used to produce the "Dim Sum Burlesque" show there every Sunday. I started the show November 2009 and pulled the plug mid-May 2010 due to financial reasons. And I have always felt a little guilty ending the show because they had invested the money and time in building a stage for me, that expensive flocked vintage wallpaper, the spotlight, the giant poster of me, the postcards, and numerous other things. I just couldn't afford dishing out a couple hundred every Sunday. I was only getting cover, not the bar or food, and there were quiet nights when I had to pay everyone out of my own pocket. I started to feel like an island where I was not getting the support I needed from the venue and performers alik. There were a few who were kind and gracious enough to work for a tip split instead of the guaranteed pay during slow months like January and February, but there were also performers who snubbed the show when I was having the hardest and brokest time there. You can suss out pretty quickly those who want to stick with you through packed and thin nights and those who don't. I ain't judging. Just making an observation.
So anyway yes, Chow Bar has closed. Apparently they sold the business because of - financial reasons. Which explained a lot to me during the last months of unhappy negotiation with them. I feel a strange sense of relief hearing about this tonight because now I realize they had a lot more financial pressure on them than I probably realized, and it sounded like it was a financial black hole for them to keep the business. I doubt having "Dim Sum Burlesque" there on Sunday nights would have made a big difference in the long run so in a way I feel like my gut instincts were right, to make an exit when people still love you and not overstay one's welcome.
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