TRASH! @Webster Hall w/DJ Jess

I am seriously dizzy right now from sitting in front of my new 27" iMac!! The screen is so enormous that I have to make my icons bigger so I don't have squint to find them on the desktop. I found this on the Apple web site in the refurbished section for $1600. It's a really great deal! My previous iMac was also a refurb that the Tenement Museum bought for me as part of the Digital Artist in Residency program. The program is no longer extant but when it was going on, it was a really great art grant supporting visual artists working in digital media. The project I proposed and created was called "Gods of Chinatown" which was an interactive tour of the temples in Chinatown told from the perspective of someone that is half-me and half-fictional me. The project took me about 4 months to do during which time I didn't accept any new contract work. I was pretty much home 24/7 in my old little studio apartment day in and day out. It was pretty sucessful and I was featured in New York Times by Lily Koppel. THAT is my claim to fame :-) Part of my grant went to buying a new iMac - so that was in 2006 - so I've been using a refurbished iMac 21" for 4 years which is about the time frame for a computer upgrade. Now I can finally start working on that documentary from Mexico!

Friday night I performed at DJ Jess' TRASH party at Webster Hall. It's a really late show at 230am so unlike last time when I did the show, I took a long nap for 3 hours from 10pm to midnight so by the time I arrived at the always-packed party, I was wide awake. I did my equestrian bondage act (Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Heads Will Roll") complete with my horsetail buttplug from Coco De Mer. Here are some pictures that I couldn't post on Facebook.

Me, DJ Jess, Apathy Angel

My little pony

Before

And After!

Excited about tonight's show at Kitty Nights. It's going to be super fun like usual. Here's a picture from the first time I've ever performed at Fem Appeal's show, this was back in May of last year. I was a schoolgirl to Poison's "Talk Dirty to Me" and tonight I go from schoolgirl to "Asian Hooker" (Steel Panther)/Hello Kitty! Ummm interesting, both bands are hair metal bands.

A year+ ago at Kitty Nights

Back on the gritty pavement

I'm purposely not working this week so I can work on my new act, an electric blue Vegas-style showgirl/showboat piece. I'm very excited about this new act and have been dreaming about it. When I'm working on a new act, I listen to the song on repeat whenever I have to walk or take the subway somewhere. It's on loop forever. Sometimes I listen to it for an hour on repeat like a crazy lady! It's been an easy transition coming back from Mexico. The Drunken Dragon show at Macao on Monday night was very, very packed. More packed than the other two months. We might move it upstairs if it keeps getting this packed every month. I did the black fan dance and the bar top act again which I love so much. I've tried to do this act elsewhere but it doesn't work anywhere else! I was hoping to debut the blue act at Macao, but I had no time. So instead - I am going to debut this glamour puss at Runaround Sue's SugarShack Burlesque show at the Palace of Wonders on Saturday, September 11! It's me, Runaround Sue, Scooter Pie, and Ekaterina. The four of us will blow the roof off that place! And we're doing 2 shows! I'm SO excited to do her show that I'll even take the bus to DC. I get car sick very bad that's why I always try to borrow Manny's car but lately I feel like I've been abusing my friendship with him so I feel bad asking again so soon after the last time. Where's my Dramamine??

Saturday, September 11 at The Palace of Wonders, DC!

Tory Williams, the photographer for Time Out, posted some pictures from my story last month on her blog. She shadowed me from home to the show at Nurse Bettie.

Photo by Tory Williams

Her blog has more pictures of Peekaboo Pointe, Nikkita Lemarcelle, Deity Delgado, etc. from that same night. Click here to see them!

I'm also excited to return to Kitty Nights this Sunday 9pm SHARP! I think my second time performing ever was at Fem Appeal's famously popular Sunday show over a year ago. I did my Brett Michael's "Talk Dirty to Me" schoolgirl act, and now from schoolgirl to "Asian Hooker" Hello Kitty! I love this show and I love the people there. And I can't wait to eat the chicken fingers at Bar on A!

All this week I've been patiently waiting for my new iMac - it's a big hulking motherfucker! 27" screen!!! It's gonna give me vertigo its so huge. I need it to finish my documentary "opus" haha, the one I filmed in Mexico. I'm addicted to editing! It's more gratifying than writing in so many other ways. I already made 3 clips from the last Beatles Burlesque show and 1 clip of my spontaneous strip tease on the beach in Mexico. You can see them here:

Montage of the show to "Oh Darlin"


"Don't Let Me Down"


"Yer Blues"


Beach Striptease

Things I can't afford.

I stumbled into a store on Bowery yesterday called Blue & Cream and I wish I didn't go in there, because I saw a leather dress for $600 and it was amazing. It was like something out of Bladerunner but more modern with a bustier top and a narrow, narrow peplum skirt. Bitch was sexy and I sniffed her... I also saw this other dress (to the left) that I lusted after. It's $1,600!!!

Getting Pulled Over by Mexican Policía

After the prodigal son & father's lunch yesterday (which I documented diligently and will further use to exploit my own creative urges by making it into a mini film), we took our car and drove to Tulum. On the road there "Miguel" saw this awesome mural in ruins by the side of the highway.

Calamity Table Dance Ole!

Shortly after we took this photo, we were pulled over by the police for speeding. We got away with just a warning and to slow down and didn't have to pay him off. Hooray!

Tulum was beautiful but we got there so late and everything is "eco" so there were no electricity. We looked at three cabanas and hotels thinking we were gonna stay there for a night, but omg, since its all "eco" there were no AIR CONDITIONING in any of the places!!! I'm happy for the eco-tourists who like having sticky skin and sandy crotches, but I need AC! So I made Miguel drive us back to Playa. But Tulum is beautiful, the ocean view and the general ruralness. Very romantic. Twice on this trip strangers have asked Miguel if he knew he looks like Mick Jagger. His response? "Yeah, I'm Mike Jagger. His illegitimate younger brother."

Tomorrow we come back to NYC. Adios Internet and tacos.

Puerto Morelos, a small sleepy fishing village. Very beautiful and still untrampeled by tourism.

Day Trip to Puerto Morelos

Today we are driving to Puerto Morelos to have lunch with Michael's dad who he has not seen in twelve years. He has been living in the Cancun area for the last five years with his second wife. I'm SO curious about this meeting of theirs. I didn't really want to go at first because it seems awkward and what am I doing there anyway? Seriously, right. I mean, they haven't seen each other in over a decade and oh, hello, here's my random girlfriend who you may or may not see ever again but here she is! Kinda stupid. But I guess I can document this whole thing. Did I mention I trailed Jim Jarmusch one time in SoHo until he finally turned around and looked at me like I'm crazy. Here's a prelude trailer of this momentous day.

My Mexican Vacation...

It's raining right now in Playa so I figured I would take this time to write a quick update! The first day we got here we were lounging around by the pool when I suddenly felt like the right side of my face was really warm. Turns out that the whole side - from the bottom front of my right ear and all along my jawline and some of my neck - was swollen! I have no idea what triggered this except that a few days ago I noticed a hard knot in front of my ear along the jawline. I didn't bump my face on anything nor did any insect bite me that I can recall. We find the 24hour doctor down the street whose office is located in the back of a dingy motel/hotel off the main avenue, paid him $75 to tell me that A) my ears were infected from the plane and B) the swollen face is something different and he didn't know what that was. He didn't seem to think it's the mumps because I don't have a fever nor are the lymph nodes swollen (if it is a case of the mumps). He did give me a shot of steroids & antiobiotic and prescribed some hardcore antihistamine, Cipro, and a small dose painkiller as preventive measures. In the last few days since taking the medicine, the swelling has gone down very sloooowly and I'm not as hideous as I was a few days ago. I'm so bummed out because we were going to take all these photos for Suicide Girls and other things and now I can't do any of them because my face is SOOOOO hideous!!!

On the left is me after getting a shot on my butt. On the right is how I feel inside. :(

Since my face is so hideous, I'll distract you with my boobs.

Here's a video clip where I distract you some more from my disfigured face with my boobs! Enjoy!

The Skullduggery & Skin show in DC, Jo Boob's Coney Island Show & Beatles Burlesque #5!

The Palace of Wonders, DC

Last weekend I performed for the first time at The Palace of Wonders in our nation's capital Washington DC for Albert Cadabra's The Skullduggery & Skin Show! The last time I was in DC was 5-6 years ago when I stayed in what I called "the freaky black men sex hotel" with my high school friend Kathleen (We were not there to have freaky black men sex with each other or other people, mind you). Everyone knows Albert is a rare breed doing what he is doing. But to see him at The Palace of Wonders doing this show is truly, truly inspiring and amazing. Like seeing a thirsty (and bald) red cactus thriving in its righteous environment. First of all, the decor of the place is designed for this sideburns-wearing freak. For those of you who have not been to The Palace, it has two floors with a vaudeville-styled stage on the first floor with a full bar, and a museum-of-oddities on the second floor. There were rows of human skulls lined against the wall, a giant stuffed unicorn/goat in a glass case & a bunch of other things you'd see in a 19th century dime museum and/or a traveling circus.

Upstairs, Downstairs

I really liked the dressing room. Although small but you go through the sliding mirror closet door and voila! You are on stage. You get a really cool shadow play view behind the curtain. Very dramatic.

The man behind the curtain, Albert Cadabra!

I loved the fact that people are on the second floor watching the show and you have to play up to them too. The place was packed and the crowd was SO enthusiastic and SO pumped with energy (or alcohol, DC shuts down at 2am so people start boozing earrrly). The sounds they made during the show was like they were riding a rollercoaster! It was me, Gigi Lafemme, and BooBoo Darlin'. Gigi and I each did 2 acts, and BooBoo did her Slow Motion act that she will be doing at the NYBF in October.

What happens backstage...

Albert did 4 or 5 acts and with Ruby the Wonder Dog, his little rescue poodle mix, they were a total hit. How can you not like a vaudeville show where a man swallows a 12ft balloon, sticks his tongue in a fan, has a cute dog that jumps through a hoop of fire, and naked girls stripteasing on stage??

Stuff on the wall.

It's no wonder we made great money and it's no wonder he packs the house every month.
Albert said after the show people usually want to hang around and take pictures with us. And sure enough, we spend another hour and a half

...is a lot of this! Hahaha

posing and talking to people. An Asian woman came up to me and said she also wants to be the "Asian Sexsation"! She was very sweet and had a totally trim, cute body with skinny jeans and these sexy heels. Speaking of which, I've been meeting a lot of Asian women who approach me after shows or contact me via Facebook all saying how much they love what I'm doing and that they want to do the same thing. The word "role model" was used a few times from different people, which is so funny to me because my parent's generation would never consider stripping to be "role model"-worthy, but this new breed of Asian girls are saying fuck oppressive Asian culture! I support this wholeheartedly because speaking from experience, I was raised to feel shameful about my body and my 32D boobs. No, it does not run in the family and it's probably the American diet and hormone in the food that created these tatas. So yes, FUCK oppression!!

Ruby the Wonder Dog, so agile & well-behaved.

We drove back the same night after the show. Gigi took the first shift and we gabbed all the way, then I drove for another hour and a half and we gabbed some more. Then we were both tired and that was around 4:45am so Albert drove the rest of the way. When we got back to Brooklyn the sun was coming up. I have not seen sunrise in years. The last time was maybe when I was in Ibiza with Gisella and we were up til 11am the next morning after the foam party (don't laugh) and pills of ecstacy swearing on our love for techno music. Gasp! See kids? Stay off drugs. They'll make you think you love techno music.

Friday night before I went to DC, I performed in Jo Boob's Coney Island show called "Strip Teas: a Night of Teabagging and Other Exotic Infusions" with Nasty Canasta, Darlinda & Darlinda, Machine Dazzle and Johnny Porkpie (um, yea). I love the environment of the stage, and Rosabelle Selavy reminded me that last year I was kittening as the bad French Maid for the same show, and this year Rosabelle also dressed as a bad French maid.

Coney Island Circus Sideshow, 2009

Porkpie, Machine, & Rosabelle's naughtier French maid - 2010.

Everyone's names had the letter "T" or sounded tea-related. I was "Calami-tea" and did my black fan dance completely nude underneath for "nudi-tea" and I did my Hello Kit-tea/Asian Hooker act. My friend Amanda and her boy came all the way out to Coney to see the show, and I thought I heard her voice or someone screaming, "LOVE IT! LOOOOVEDarlinda pour cream out of pitchers all over her (watered down moisturizer) and the three of us were buck naked and rubbed cream all over each other. Women's bodies are so soft! When we started rubbing the cream, Jo whispered to me, "Not in the hair" which of course made me think of porn when the girls are all, "Don't cum in my hair" - but what she meant was not in her hair piece cause the oils will break down the luscious locks. HA! Thank god there is a shower at Coney cause we were covered with cream and silver glitter that Nasty, Porkpie, and Machine sprinkled on us (sugar). Michael and I went to have a drink at a boardwalk bar, and we played shoot the freak which was really bizarre. Why does the black man have to be the freak!? Just kidding. He didn't look very freakish. He looked very bored.

My outtie vagina and the rest!

This Monday night was the 5th Beatles Burlesque!!! Can you believe we are almost at the half-year mark? We are continuing on for sure. This time I had Jo Boobs, Minnie Tonka, Kita St. Cyr, and Strawberry Fields. BooBoo Darlin, my new friend from Richmond/DC, opened the show with her Isis wing dance to "Rollover Beethoven". It was packed and we had the same amount of people as all the other months. I was hugely relieved because August is typically really slow but we did well!

I joked around on stage that if people bought me tequila shots, I will take off my clothes and guess what, be careful what you banter about, cause I got 4 rounds of shots. I know Caprice bought me a shot, then Kenny. The other two I have no idea. All I know is that Lixx came backstage and said, "Girl, you better pace yourself cause you got two shots waiting for you at the bar."

August Beatles show

By the end of the show when I was supposed to do a spontaneous duet piece with Jo, I was on auto-pilot. Thank god I didn't fuck anything up and that she and I talked about what to do beforehand. Minnie better tell me exactly what transpired cause I don't remember. Or Dan better have it on film somewhere! I was just informed that I was on top of Jo eating her out. I don't recall! That's two finales where I got to grope Jo Boobs. Waa Hoo!! Is it exciting to see naked women and touching each other on stage? I personally don't find it exciting as a spectator but I'm straighter than a board, and it seems like many many people find group acts such as naked pie fight or wine bath very titillating.

Swim, Sex, Sleep, Sex Again

That about sums up the last weekend. Michael and I are going to Mexico this Friday for a week to Playa del Carmen! I was just there in May. Just a FYI, Mexico is really cheap to go right now. They are still suffering from the swine flu scare last year. All these amazing posh resort spa hotels are dirt cheap like $50 a night. Our deal was only $700 a person including airfare. SICK!! Brassy will be safeguarding my Chewie - hope nothing bad happens! I get paranoid about the little dog.

Drunken Dragon Nights, Monday, August 23!

As soon as I return from Mexico, the next show I am excited to do again is my monthly Drunken Dragon Nights at Macao Trading Company on Monday, August 23!


This month the alcohol sponsor is vodka! I like free things as do most people, that's why this late-night show is FREE with a 2 hour open bar from 9-11pm then a free show at 11pm.

My girls Gal Friday, Bird of Paradise, and Kita St Cyr are back again - and with my Captain Kitten Madame Delux (she's being promoted to Captain now), this is the show I'm SO excited about!

You can inspect me when I'm back from Mexico.

NO TAN LINES!

Someone Please Tell Me Why I Have This Recurring Dream

Waah, Waah

The other morning I woke up crying because I had the same dream again. In the dream, Michael and I got into a fight or something and he moved out. Then I heard through friends that he hooked up with another girl already and I was heartbroken. I felt SO sad in the dream and overwhelmed with this feeling of DOOM, a distinct feeling that "happiness" was over, and I couldn't believe that happiness was over!! And I thought to myself (in the dream) that I couldn't possibly do Beatles Burlesque the next day knowing that he was going to be there and still try to be fun and energetic as the hostess. And I also remembered that we were supposed to go to Paris for a week and I didn't know what I was going to do with the plane ticket and hotel reservation, all already paid for. So I started to call Brassy to tell her about what happened and that I couldn't do the show - that was when I woke up crying and etc.

Here's the rub. I've had this same kind of dream for as long as I can remember with every boyfriend. It's always the same scenario. A betrayal, a truth revealed, or a change in affection towards me. None of the boyfriends I've had cheated on me (that I know of, at least, ha ha), nor are my parents divorced or dysfunctional. Chinese families are typically pretty nuclear, supportive and normal. So I have no idea why I always have this same kind of dreams. Even with the kindest, nicest, most "do-right" boyfriends, I still had the same dream. The only thing I can think of is maybe this is my subconscious mind's way to dealing with my "trust issues" - I say that with quotes because it's so stupid and such a cliche phrase a quick-fix answer to a more interesting analysis. It's almost as bad as saying, "intimacy issues" - it just sounds like something out of Sex in the City! Anyway, when I wake up I always feel enormous relief that none of it was real. And nobody hurt anyone. Maybe my brain is trying to tell me that I shouldn't anticipate for the worst all the time?

Any budding dream psychiatrists out there?