FaceBook-Unfriendly Photos

Since Facebook won't let me post these pictures on my Fan Page, these are some awesome pictures from the last Coco de Mer show with Ruby Valentine, Nikki LeVillain and myself. These photos were taken by Stacie Joy and Ed Barnas. To see the rest of the sets, click here.

Me

Nikki Le Villain

The Grand Finale

Ruby Valentine

Nikki LeVillain

Performing at Private Events vs. Performing at a Show

Doing atmosphere work at French Tuesdays

Fun party, great people, and international

There are many advantages to performing at a private event. Most of the time because it's a private party, the producers/bookers have a bigger budget for talent so that means you get paid more. The downside is the "atmosphere" work you often have to do. You can't just sink back into your leggings, rock tshirt, and biker boots, hang out backstage then bail. You will have to put on a pretty dress, put those heels back on, go out and mingle with the partygoers who are usually drunk but you are sober. But this is just part of the job description and I don't mind it, in fact, I do enjoy it. The key to a private party gig, I find, is who is doing it with you. That can make a huge difference between a shitty experience where you feel dumb (which I will describe in a minute) or having an amazing time feeling really good about yourself and what you do. A good example of a positive experience was the French Tuesdays party that I did a few months ago with Veronica Varlow. It was hard work, two acts, two gogo sets, and hanging out for photo with people. But the organizers were SO nice and really great so it was way fun. The people at this party were friendly, outgoing, and they danced just as much as we did. The staff at the venue were absolutely accommodating and helped Vlo schlep her luggage up and down the stairs. THIS was a great experience plus she's a pleasure to be around which rounded out the night quite well.

At a private party there is typically no tipping so whatever the organizer agreed to that's what you'll get at the end of the night. This is an advantage over performing at a show where you (generally) don't get a guarantee and have to wait til the end of the night after the house sorts out the cover and count all the money then you get your share. You never know if you'll be going home with $30 or $80 or $12...

Veronica doing a fan dance number

From a producer's point of view to work a private event you should mentally prepare yourself for lots of unexpected changes, lack of structure, need to improvise on the fly. When you gig at a show, there is a producer and a host. Often these two roles are one, as in all my shows to save money. Shows have a structure: first set, intermission, second set, curtain call. There's a line-up. Someone will intro and out-tro you. In my opinion, one of the most important roles the host should play is crowd control. It is the host's (or producer) job to make people clear the space if there is no real stage (as in my Drunken Dragon Nights show at Macao Trading Company). It is also his/her job to set up what is about to happen, what the audience is about to see, and how to react. This is why we all do the whole "burletique 101" stint in the beginning just to be sure people know what to expect. I do it so the crowd knows that I will kick someone out if they are rude or disrespectful. Before I started doing burlesque a long time ago, I went to see a show at the Slipper Room with a group of Irish guys who I barely knew and they were so obnoxious screaming stuff like "show us your tits!" and "take your shirt off!" all the usual I'm-a-stupid-straight-man-moronic shit. So we got kicked out! I was so impressed with that. It made a lasting impression on me. From hence forth I said to myself, "If I ever have a show and that power that's exactly what I want to do." And now I have the verbal power and luckily the muscle power of Stephen and Craig at Nurse Bettie to back me up as well as Dushan, Igor, Mauricio, and all the other eastern European studs at Macao to pull a Eastern Promises on unruly assholes.

The host also should set up the performers to build anticipation and also to start reining in the focal point in the room. Albert Cadabra and Bastard Keith are really great and masters at making every performer sound like a fucking nuclear A-BOMB of hotness! It doesn't matter if you believe it or not, but the words make a difference to the audience. These are all advantages of working a well-produced show. There are many out there but there are also many lackluster sloppy shows.

Also at private events, there is often no host or MC to intro or out-tro you. You are lucky if there's a microphone. If someone does intro you count your lucky stars. In the worst case scenario someone with a meek voice will attempt to call attention to the ground-level circular space where you are standing in costume waiting to do your thing - awkwardly. No one cheers. They just stare because no one told them they can clap and cheer during a burlesque tease. When you are finished, no one out-tros you so you smile and do a showboat stance and um... bend down to pick up your own clothes like an out-of-style stripper working a cheap strip joint in buttfuck nowhere, USA. In another scenario as recently experienced by yours truly, you come out to do your act but there is no stage so you start to dance in the middle of the dance floor and a drunk douche bag siddles up to you in the straight-guy-thrusting-his-groin-with-legs-spread-open-hey-this-is-me-dancing move and tries to dance WITH you WHILE you are doing your act! Or, drunk partiers who obviously resent the music being stopped and having to watch some stupid burlesque act and push you to get around the dancefloor WHILE you are doing your act. Or, photographers who stand in front of you to take photos of someone else WHILE you are doing your act. Or, hey one more, the chair you asked for a million times isn't there so you improvise and stand with one leg on a soft cushy couch and then end up falling down while pulling out the rosary beads out of your vajay with a cloth gag in your mouth! I've never felt more DUMB. Lack of a stage is the primary disadvantage in my mind for working private events. I don't like being close to people this is why I don't attend concerts. And as the previous example demonstrates lack of spatial separation between performer and audience can lead to unhappy calamities.


New Year's Eve at Macao Trading Company!

One last thing to beware of about private parties. Expectations. Some generally have never seen burlesque and have no idea what we are, what we do or don't do. Again, this is the host's job to set the proper tone and mood. Many, I swear to beelzebub, think we are escorts, call girls, or strippers. They will make suggestions about taking drugs together, sharing a cab, sit on their laps, or as Sapphire Jones recently told me about her experience (with her permission to retell this), directly asked her if she is still "escorting" after she spent 15 minutes conversing about her career in acting, her boyfriend, her dog...My advice? If you feel uncomfortable, say so nicely. Your integrity is more important than whatever the pay is. And you have to protect that.

Not every private party is like this. Not every show is "amazing great fun" either. I'm only listing general advantages and disadvantages. Most of the time the downside of private parties have nothing to do with the people who actually booked the event. They are often nice professional people who really want to create a kickass event but are just new to having burlesque at their events. The organizers often don't have a good grasp of what kind of acts will go over well at private events. Understandly they want to create a "WOW" moment for their attendees but due to all the aforementioned limitations with space, lighting, setup, I would say, PLAY IT SAFE and do classic, glamorous straight-up strip tease with room for improving and moving around. Nothing with a heavy narrative or proprs or that requires paying attention throughout to "get it".

Continuing BS from Facebook

So the police have written me back about my disabled account due to "fake name" usage. Below is our correspondence:


From Facebook:
> Date: Thu, 9 Dec 2010 09:41:07 -0800
> To: foxfatalelives@hotmail.com
> From: info+j8ygng@support.facebook.com
> Subject: Re: Disabled - Fake Name
>
> Hi Calamity,
>
> Facebook does not allow users to sign up with certain names that may be fake or associated with fake accounts. While we realize this verification method may prevent some users with legitimate names from registering, we feel this policy is currently the best method to prevent against malicious and fake accounts on the site.
>
> We can assist you with your request, but we will need additional information. Please reply to this email with a scanned image of a government-issued photo ID (e.g., driver’s license) in order to verify your name. Please black out any personal information that is not needed to verify your identity (e.g., social security number). Rest assured that we will permanently delete your ID from our servers once we have used it to verify your real name.
>
> Additionally, please include all of our previous correspondence so that we can refer to your original email. Once we have received this information, we will reevaluate the status of the account. Please note that we will not be able to process your request unless you send in proper identification. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause.
>
> If you have further questions about our name policies, please visit our Help Center:
>
> http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=12964
>
> Thanks for contacting Facebook,
>
> Jill
> User Operations
> Facebook


My Reply:
I certainly have no problems with proving that I'm not some evil corporation claiming to be an individual so I can inflitrate people's wallets. But I DO have an issue with sending YOU (evil corporation seems like) who want to see a government issue ID. Do you know how many performers and actors are using Facebook under their performance names out there? Are we all under this type of scrutiny or is it just me?? I have not only been happy using FB as the primary platform to promote live performance art in NYC but also to invite new fans to join the FB community. Not only that, I have spend ALOT of money buying FB ads as well.

I am being treated absolutely unfairly due to this "fake name" issue. If this is something you really uphold, then you should go and delete or disable ALL performers on Facebook who are just trying to make a living being a clown, magician, or etc etc. Why don't you delete Dita Von Tease's profile? That's not her legal name.

Calamity Fan Page

Cats have 9 lives. This one just used one of hers.

Please join me again on my fan page on Facebook so I don't feel so lonely! Calamity Chang Fan Page!

Thank you!

Antisocial Network

It finally happened! My Facebook profile has been disabled because I am using a fake name! My profile is now in the processed of being "reviewed" by the Facebook Fascist regime and who knows how long that's going to take. It's not like I'm an evil corporation pretending to be an individual to infiltrate your wallets! I'm SO ANNOYED and its making me want to commit FB suicide permanently!!!

on the upside...its made my productivity level at work go way high and it's making me think more out of the box (or out-of-facebook) in terms of promotion.

so for now, follow me on twitter.com/calamitychang or just keep reading my blog for events and status updates.

Dating in NYC

How many of you have met a guy, flirted notoriously with each other, exchanged phone number (and even IM handles and Facebook friended), went out a few times, made out in public (and/or in private), and then - NOTHING. No further dates but still some random texting, IM-ing, or an occasional Facebook status comment. And no explanation.

I recently had to de-friend a friend because he was guilty of aforementioned behavior. In the past it never bothered me when he told me his dating stories, the mishaps, the "crazy" ones, the stalkers, etc. I always thought it was entertaining, albeit a little sad, and also because I never knew any of these "crazy" women he was seeing. But recently, it hit closer to home because the women are my friends. These are not just casual friends but friends I have invited over to my house for dinner and spend holidays with. There were at least three women who came back to ask me how well I know him and what his "deal" was. At first I wasn't sure what they were asking but with further questioning I realized that the women felt, to a greater or lesser degree, led on by his flirting, messaging, going out, kissing, then sudden vagueness and lack of committing to doing anything else. I've been in NYC for eleven years now and I've had long relationships, short non-committal ones and my share of one-night stands. It's no secret that NYC is dating heaven for men. There are 3 women to 1 men here, and this city not only condones but encourages the "Peter Pan Syndrome." Recently one of my best friends met a really interesting and handsome man through her friends. He joined them for dinner almost every night, they shared drinks, and had lively conversations. She felt a spark between them which was further flamed when they went back to her place and shared a kiss. He didn't spend the night because he said he really liked her and didn't want to move too fast. I was so excited for her when she told me this because I'm very protective of her and I want her to find someone who loves and respects her. But then the next day rolled around and nothing from him. Day turned into weeks and nothing begot nothing. Whatever plans he had to see her went away. And that was it! She told me she felt like maybe she imagined the whole connection and spark. (He is not married or already has a girlfriend).

So when my girl friends come to me and tell me this or asks, "What is his deal?", I see the disappointment in their eyes and I feel their feelings of rejection. We've all been there before realizing that, Oh, he must have many other hotter, better options than me. Then the self-doubt settles in and you ask if you imagined the whole connection, you ask if maybe you read into the situation more than there was, and insecurity sets in. This is NOT behavior that is respectful to women. This is selfish, irresponsible, and cowardly! And it's behavior appropriate to 20 year olds! I always tell my guy friends that if they don't want to romantically date someone anymore or maybe they hooked up once but doesn't want to continue the sexual part of the relationship to just be an adult and talk about it openly! Or at least give an explanation why you suddenly are no longer interested. I'm also a huge proponent of women asking the man "why". Something as adult and simply as, "Hey, I thought we made a connection but maybe you didn't feel the same way as I did?" That's all and then you can move on! I think of all the times I've wasted when I was younger pondering and obsessing about some guy's interest or lack-of or why-did-he-did-this-or-that, and if I could hottube timemachine myself back I would be a lot more direct (but not confrontational) and take control of the situation and my wildly careering feelings and moods. Women waste so much of our time obsessing about things like this when that energy can be rechanneled to more fruitful and rewarding things. This robs us of our creativity.

Frankly... I got tired of defending his actions and I am not condoning this kind of behavior anymore. It breeds bad self-esteem in women and it makes women feel bad about themselves. Using lame platitudes such as "I'm commitment phobic" (but not sexually phobic as demonstrated by groping you all over, hello!) is just intellectually AND emotionally LAZY. Respect for women means many things. One of which is respect for their feelings. You owe it to the woman who gave birth to you to be honest and kind. Even if you are not interested in them anymore or regretted that drunken kiss or hook up, you can be a man and say so kindly.

Eyelash Deficiency & Mascaras

It's no secret that in Asia women are obsessed with skin care but in the last few years, I've noticed a new obsession with eyelashes! I have tried eyelash extensions in Koreatown as well as by my friend Rosie who painstakingly glues individual silk lashes onto your eyelash baseline to create a wide-eyed look without ever having to use mascara (Rosie's salon also includes makeup for parties, weddings, and she's also an expert at brow shaping. She works out of the downstairs salon at LES boutique Honey in the Rough).

I loved the eyelash extensions which last about 3 weeks if you are careful. But since I have to wear false eyelashes so much for shows, it's an indulgence I can't have anymore. So what does a Chinese girl with average length and average volume eyelashes do when she's not in stage makeup? FIBERWIG!!!!

This is my all-time favorite mascara because it actually contains fiberous material (like the ones you find in wigs) but in the mascara. Each eyelash is coated with this thing - which is totally safe for your eyes - and makes your eyes look amazingly big. I always curl my lashes first, then I put just ONE coat of Fiberwig on, then curl again. I don't think non-Asians will benefit that much from this product cause non-Asians are already naturally blessed with long, luscious beautiful eyelashes...I often put mascara on boyfriends - so dreamy! I want to secretly steal their eyelashes and put them on my eyes! What do boys need such long, luscious, volumous lashes for anyway??

But last week I ran out of Fiberwig and haven't had time to go to Sephora to replenish so instead I've also been trying out a couple of other ones made by Rimmel.

From the top: Rimmel Max Bold Curves, Glam'Eyes  Day2Night, Fiberwig

The first one I tried was Rimmel's Max Bold Curves and it fucked up my lashes! Although it wasn't clumpy per say, it clumped my lashes together so it looked like my lashes were spikes. Very weird. I wans't so happy with it. The second one was Glam'Eyes Day2Night also by Rimmel. The packaging is neat with two separate wands, one for "length" and one for "volume". I honestly can't tell the difference with "length" vs. "volume" and that applies to ALL mascaras - but that's only probably because Asians don't have a lot of eyelash. So far, this one is okay but it doesn't have the "sticky" factor that Fiberwig has. What I mean by "sticky" factor is that with Fiberwig, after you apply it, you can curl your lashes again and it stays that way! Yes! You don't have to go out and get those "heated" eyelash curlers to create that fake-eyelash perm look - Oh, yes I've tried that too.

So I believe this girl is going back to Fiberwig. Btw, of course Fiberwig is a great fit for me - it is a Japanese product made by Imju - and they know they are working with short, straight lashes! And Imju just came out with a new-upgraded Fiberwig called Fiberwig LX that I can't wait to try.

In other news, I am so excited that Michael will be playing with Reckless Place is playing tomorrow night at Ace of Clubs on Great Jones Street - 9pm. And the burlesque photo show before that. Friday is Tails & Feathers and Saturday Coco de Mer! Meow!

Burlesque Makeup & an Old Picture

The most common question I get is, "What do you use to make your lips so glittery?" This is no big secret and here's what I do.

First is lipstick of your choosing, then dabbing on Mattese red glitter and voila!

Right now I've been using a Chanel lipstick (Rouge Coco 22) then dabbing Mattese Elite Fairy Dust in Red on top of the lipstick application. You can really use any lipstick color and dab a similar glitter on top to achieve that glittery lip look. Just be careful about the kind of glitter you get because they have to be non-metallic and have to say "for body, hair, and face" otherwise the craft glitter from craft stores can be toxic. Likewise the body glitter that I use on stage is by "Opal Ice" by Ben Nye which you can get for $15 at Halloween Adventure shop store on 4th Avenue. I was using the smaller Mattese size but Gal Friday turned me onto the Ben Nye 6oz. Sparklers which will last you a LONG time. Wet N Wild used to make this great and much cheaper body glitter called MegaSparkle that was available at drug stores for about $6. I haven't been able to find it in NYC anymore but outside of NYC there might be some still in stock. That product also worked so great and I miss it! Wet N Wild, if you read this, please bring it back!

Ben Nye's Sparkler

When I was cleaning the other day I found an old picture when I worked as a cigarette girl for Miss Kitty's Koncessions in Dallas. This picture is circa 1993 or 1994 and we were about to go in Club One in Deep Ellum. I forget the blonde girl's name but she was someone I hired. I also managed the Dallas office for Miss Kitty (whose real name I also forgot but she was one of those club kids from NYC/LA and later on sold her very successful cigarette girl business and went to law school!), and I also did all the hiring and interviewing of aspiring cigarette girls. It was the best high school job ever! Sure beat telemarketing and selling ads for the local high school football calendar (true story!). 

We had total access to all the best clubs in Deep Ellum like Club One (where all the ecstacy was coming out of, if you were there during that time, or if you read any books about the history and culture of ecstacy) and Club Clearview, and maybe one called FishDance? We would work the clubs and sell cigarettes and candy and rave toys. Sometimes we worked raves too in warehouses in nowhere downtown Dallas. It was so dirty that our fishnets left marks on our legs. I also met all kinds of crazy characters and drove around all the time in Dallas meeting club owners and managers to get them to let us work there for a night - umm... not much has changed cause this sounds much like my life now. Miss Kitty had TONS of costumes that we picked out every night to wear. They were all funky and crazy and I think she made most of them herself. The one I'm wearing here was my favorite made of a dark blue velvet. It was made for a Barney's event. One costume that I remember had a jack-in-the-box in the headpiece. Ah good times!

Being a cigarette girl back in 1993ish in Dallas, Texas.

News of all types!

So my parents have come and gone, and it was a very successful trip! They loved Beatles Burlesque on Monday night and they also really enjoyed the scenery along the Delaware River. We found a few waterfalls near Milford, PA and one of them was self-titled "The Niagara of Pennsylvania" - Bushkill Falls. I thought that was really funny considering that my pee-ing is bigger than some of the "waterfalls" in the park. Haha. We cooked dinner in the cabin at night and looked at the local stores during the day. I don't need to see another candle shop again in my life, much like my experience in Rome and Florence. I don't need to go inside another church in my life again either!

Me, Chewie and my Dad!

Our cabin by the Delaware River. Cozy but a little dirty and I did see a mouse.

They came to the Beatles Burlesque show and I have to admit, this past month's show was my personal favorite. There was a lot of variety in terms of guest musicians and a guest vocalist. Michael Cunio from Reckless Place (and Jersey Boys Chicago) has such great stage presence and he writhed on stage during Helter Skelter like fucking Axel Rose in his leather pants. He is also the lead singer for Reckless Place, the band Michael is now in, and they are playing this Thursday night at Ace of Clubs on Great Jones Street! 9 PM with a bunch of other rock bands!

Michael Cunio who wears eyeliner really well!

OMG the hotness factor with these three was INSANE!!!

I am really excited to see this show and not just because before the show, I'm going to see the Unsung Heroes of Burlesque photography opening with Dame Cuchifrita AND that upstairs from the Ace of Clubs is one of my favorite Cajun restaurants in all of NYC, Acme! I need an Oyster Po' Boy and a night to do other things and support Michael's show with Reckless so I won't be a Nurse Bettie this Thursday night. The following week is Thanksgiving so there are no shows on Wednesday and Thursday. The next time I'll be at Nurse Bettie is December 2 with Minnie Tonka, Fem Appeal, Gal Friday, Tansy, and Brassy.

I didn't take any clothes off! But I was a little potty-mouthed.

This past Thursday at NB I was getting ready behind our curtain when suddenly this little dark-haired pixie stuck her head inside and handed me a makeup case. It was so dark back there I didn't realize what it was until I opened it and saw a caseful of LIERAC skin beauty products from my favorite makeup artist Tina Turnbow (who does MU on celebrities like Christina Hendricks and who is a contributing writer for the likes of Marie Claire and Beauty Banter.

I've been using a product they have called Bust Lift - I figure preventive measures can't hurt, right? And now I'm incorporating more night and day items into my regiment. There were so many products in there that it took me a while to figure out what product to use and how. Very exciting!

Lierac - my latest beauty obsession

A couple of other show-related news:

• Beatles Burlesque will be at Crash Mansion on Monday, December 12. Show starts at 10pm! Same $10 just in Manhattan this time. Michael and I went by the space to check out the stage and it is very nice. Hardwood floors, a big stage, no dressing room just a green room so we'll have to bring a mirror on our own. But the space definitely feels more intimate with low ceilings and banquet-style booths and small cabaret-style tables in the front. Plus they are in Manhattan right by Bowery Ballroom, near many subway stops. Hopefully that will entice the Manhattanites to are reluctant to go out on a Monday night to bring their bodies out to this awesome show! 

Inside the Green Room of December's Beatles Burlesque

• I have a new show called "Tails & Feathers" starting Friday, November 19 at Toro Lounge which is the Smyth Thompson Hotel's downstairs lounge in TriBeCa! The show is free with complimentary drinks from 10-11pm and the show starts at 11pm. This inaugural show will feature some of my favorite performers who I am very familiar with, not only their personalities, the quality of work they bring, but also their oeuvre (haha, I felt like using that now). Gal Friday, Bird of Paradise, and I'm thrilled to bring Shelly Watson's goose-bump-enducing, move you to tears opera singing to this show! The event manager was very excited about having opera there as am I! I have a feeling this will become a monthly show or even bi-monthly. Fingers crossed that the Tribeca folks will like it!

New show! Tails & Feathers at Toro Lounge in The Smyth Hotel/Thompson Tribeca

Toro Lounge

Toro Lounge

3.  Looks like Macao Trading Company will also be doing something special for their New Year's Eve dinner party as well. I will be announcing that shortly...as soon as I finish designing the flyer for that night! Last year I was at Chow Bar doing Dim Sum Burlesque's NYE dinner/show and went to Macao afterwards and danced on the top of their dining table as Bryan Helm documented here!

NYE 2009

Tonight I am gogo dancing at Kings County Bar in Bushwick/East Williamsburg tonight with Deity, Belle a Go-Go and Stormy Leather. I'm so excited cause I put together 3 KILLER outfits to wear tonight. I LOVE gogo-ing nights sometimes you just wanna dance (not to sound totally like one of those "I'm a happy girl with my white iPod riding my bike and I LOVE the world and I LOVE my life!!!") but .... yeah I do love to dance and eat a big burger afterwards at 3am then finding money in your bra later.

Monday November 15 "Drunken Dragon Night" at Macao and Sapphire Jones will be performing! I'm very excited to have her there for the  first time. The open bar this Monday is provided by Wild  Turkey from 9-11pm. Show is at 11pm. Free admission.

Saturday November 20 is "Spreading the Curtains" at Coco de Mer and also The Naughty Housewife's birthday celebration so please RSVP because it's going to sell out again. I have a new act that I'm debuting that night and we have a very special group act as well. He he. The line-up is Peekaboo Pointe, Lil Steph from Philly who was showcased in this year's Ms. Exotic World. Please call the NY store at (212) 966-9069 to RSVP. Open bar provided by 42Below. $25cover. Show starts at 8pm.

Photos from !BadAss! 6th Anniversary Show by Stacie Joy

This series of my Aztec Priestess/Dusk til Dawn series was taken by Stacie Joy at Velocity Chyaldd's !BadAss! 6th Anniversary show at LPR. It's the last monthly of BadAss before becoming a seasonal show with an even bigger cast in 2011 with some proceeds going towards the non-profit close to her heart RAINN.

The lighting at LPR is amazing and dramatic. They changed it for every performer based on our costume and choreography. I didn't see one photo that was unflattering which is VERY unusual.



Thanks Stacie!

Men Talking About Fatherhood

Everyone knows that advertising is a heavily-male dominated industry. It's not as bad as it was in the Mad Men days (how I loath to have to reference that show every time I talk about advertising), and we certainly have our share of powerful ECDs (Executive Creative Director) who are women and I've had my share of experiences witnessing some of these top figureheads dominate the room and run the show with two pairs of balls (one pair hers, the other pair someone else's that she now owns. ha!). I have been sitting in the "creative pit" at (unnamed) agency where all the freelance ADs (Art Director) and CWs (Copywriter) sit. I am the ONLY girl in a roomful of 10, and I have been so surprised all week to hear these guys' conversations throughout the day.

Contrary to what I thought I would hear, these guys (well at least about 3-4 of them) have all been recently minted to fatherhood. They've been sharing stories about what their kids (mostly all under 2 years old) want to dress up as for Halloween (one guy's family are all dressing up as characters from Toy Story), whether they've flown with the babies, how they can't wait til they are old enough to take to Europe, how much they LOVE spending time with their kids and LOVE family vacations, and I think from what leaked into my headphones, is that they all have boys and they are SOOO easy compared to girls who are all full of drama!

Have to admit I am pleasantly surprised by what I hear these guys say amongst each other, away from their significant others. I would have thought they would bitch and complain and bemoan the loss of their single, bachelor lives, talk about who they want to "bang" (hot chicks), or stupid sex stories or their balls. Whatever is base. Then I started wondering where I got these pre-conceived notions of what I expect of men (nothing, hahah jk!). This is obviously the beginning of a long deep gender-soul-searching journey, but I immediately thought of TV sitcoms. Specifically I thought of "Two & a Half Men" and "King of Queens" - probably the two most misogynistic and stereotyped shows on television. Doug from King of Queens is an overweight and selfish loaf, someone who longs to be better but is too lazy and cowardly to be someone else than the environment he was born into. Even though Two & a Half Men's characters are full-on parodies, these shows still perpetuate the idea that long term love and commitment are something that becomes a drag in the long run. All the characters hate their lives from the womanizing Charlie to idiotic Carrie and at any given moment they complain about the compromises they've had to made to make a life together or the sacrifices they've made to be with the person they supposedly love. The premise of the "joke" is that you are naive and an idiot if you believe in true love that is nurturing, supportive, passionate and soulful - that if you really believe love can be sustained through the monotony of daily existence and living, then hello, the JOKE IS ON YOU. What a stupid setup! There is a lesson I'm supposed to learn about this... somewhere.

Okay I'm done ranting and getting out of work to start my long crazy Halloween weekend! Last year my friends and I went to eat Momofuku's special fried chicken dinner at midnight, then they all went out late but I went home cause I was so nervous about the opening night of Dim Sum Burlesque at Chow Bar the next day on Sunday, November 1. Wow. So much has happened since a year ago!

Shane on the right, I love Shane! And his backup dancers.

Thats me doing a fan dance to Kei$ha's "Take It Off"

Saturday night, I'm at FBOMB first at The Delancey. I go on at midnight. Then I will jet over to Webster Hall Circus for Shane.

Then Sunday is "Not Your Standard Bingo" at The Standard Hotel starting at 10pm! They are having burlesque for the first time there and I am STOKED!!!!

Some photos of RZipper w/Diamondsnake

Here are some photos of Rhinestone Zipper with Phil and Moby at Diamondsnake's "secret" CMJ show. There are more pictures here but be warned the Village Scum takes some totally NSFW photos of ladies!

With Phil

With Moby

We are dancing with them again on November 4 at The Lebowski Festival at Brooklyn Bowl and again on December 4 location TBA.

Weekend Recap & Chow Bar - What? It's Closed!?!

Ugh who wants to go to work on Mondays? NOBODY! I'm going back on site for the week in the area I call the taint of Manhattan (midtown) where all the big ad agencies are. No, it's not like Mad Men. Thank god cause I think Don Draper is a lame cliché construction of male fantasies like the Marlboro Men mythology placed in an urban contemporary context. Yeah so I'm annoyed that I have to go back to work but I have to cause burlesque does not my lifestyle make.

I am bemoaning my sad having to work tomorrow-ness by reliving my weekend now. Saturday night I saw Maddy Mann's Bible StorieZ at Ars Nova and it was just IMPRESSIVE. I'ts unbelievable the amount of talent and innovation Maddy exhibited at the show along with Lexi and Noah. Ars Nova, first off, has an amazing performance space with high-tech lighting and the show was a REAL professional show with a real sound tech, lighting technician, and a director who worked with them on all aspect of the show. It was only one-night so I'm really sorry if you missed it because I've never seen anything like what they do. Sure, many people who've been in NYC for ten years will say, "Hey I saw this underground theater troupe do Bible stories retold" blah blah but this is not your typical underground, self-indulgent artist diatribe about Christianity refashioned as parody/farce. Maddy Mann's retellings of Bible stories are accessible (not obtuse and filled with reference that's not accessible to the general audience), entertaining (pop songs, broadway songs), and more than anything else that impressed me, clever and brilliant at times. There were times when their translation of lyrics through choreography and dialogue made me catch myself clapping so enthusiastically and fervently that I felt like a total idiot. Thankfully the people next to me were laughing and clapping with equal (and more) ardor so I didn't felt like "clapper in the dark". (how's that for a sneak attack Bjork reference!)

I was SO SO happy to see Maddy and gang do their thing on a proper big stage with all the right setup. The first time I saw them was when they did "Lot's Wife" at Harlow's Hideaway and that was the night that I realized their ingenuity and that anyone who books them knows their shit and I wanted to be in Honi Harlow's show!! I've seen Maddy and Lexi work it out even at the tiny stage at Nurse Bettie when I've booked them there a few times and they were great. But to see them on the real stage was simply amazing. I was smitten with glee to see new Bible stories that I haven't seen them do before last night. Among some of the new ones were Samson & Delilah, Eve & the Serpent, Cain & Abel, and a viral music video to "Jonah and the Whale".  People were going nuts at the end of the show when Maddy did his sign language interpretation of Avril Lavigne's "I Wanna Be Your  Girlfriend" - Brilliant! It's a travesty that it's only one-night!

I couldn't stay til the very end and congratulate the boys (I knew they would be swamped anyway) and also cause Michael's friend was shooting My Morning Jacket just a block away at Terminal 5 and got us backstage passes to go and see the concert. We hightailed it over right after Maddy's show and went in through the loading dock. It was packed inside but the VIP area was not so bad except everyone was standing on the chair and sitting on the ledge and I could not see anything. I have heard of My Morning Jacket but know nothing of their music. I thought they were alt rock or something but noooooo - they were like stoner, psychedelia with country influence. There seemed to be a lot of "fratty" type of guys with ill-fitting white tshirts and flannel shirts tied around the waist and of course the baseball cap. Except these guys were WAY TOO OLD to be in college!! I'm also claustrophobic and I really hate being shoulder-to-shoulder with a lot of people. I don't like being squished and I don't like being near a lot of strangers. This is why I will never go to big concerts like Lollapolooza or whatever it is that people do now. At best, I get stressed and scared in big crowded venues (unless I'm on stage and far, far away from the rest of the people then I'm happy as a kite). At worst, I get really antagonistic and just start pushing people. There was a guy who was obliviously taking photos in the dark with his camera held up to his face. He didn't see Michael coming up the stairs and totally bumped him into the mirror on the wall. I was pretty irritated already by the crowd and stupid frat people, this was just the opportunity I wanted to vent my UGH-ness. So I shoved him and said what's your fucking problem when I walked by him. Alas, the music was so loud I don't think he heard me. And I have a really painful hangnail on my right index finger so the shove wasn't that forceful. He probably thought I was hitting on him. So much for being Ms. Tough Girl.

So we hightailed it after about 40 minutes and a beer. Then we went back down to our hood to InBorn NYC's 3rd year anniversary party. Rey Jerez is our tattoo artist. Yes, Michael and I BY COINCIDENCE have the same artist. When we first met, it was pretty cool to find that out like OMG we are meant to be together! Rey did the feathers on my forearms and the big plume feather on my back.  I am getting more as soon as I figure out what I want. It was all rock metal bands and we actually didn't see any bands play, because something with the drum kit being moved. There was a low level irritation/depression going on all day with me and some things that I saw there really set me off on a crazy spin. Thankfully my friend Rebecca and her friends came to meet us and then we decided to just go next door to Chloe. The music was fun downstairs but definitely more geared towards girls cause all the girls were dancing and none of the dudes were. The place is small and reminded me of the old Double Happiness on Mott Street but better lit. Anyway it was like 3 to 1 girls to guys. One of our friends met us there and the door guy kinda gave him some attitude cause he wasn't dressed right and he said there were too many guys. If I was single, this would be SOCIAL SUICIDE going there to a taco festival. Then there was some other drama involving one of the owners and my friend which I am not allowed to discuss openly. So on principle I said, I'm outta here. But I made everyone leave with me. HA! That is the power of the Changstang when she is on her path of self righteousness and conviction.

We piled down further south into real Chinatown on Canal and Ludlow where my friend Adam (who is also the photographer who took this awesome portrait of Chewie and I years ago) said we should go to

Photo by Adam Cantor

this off-the-beaten-path real Chinatown karaoke bar. He's been talking about this place and calling it the "crazy place" cause it's all Chinese and no gringos. So we go there and I realize its the same karaoke bar that has been there for years and used to be owned by the owners of Good World. Obviously Good World is gone, they sold it to another person. True enough, the place is bare-bones and there were no gringos other than the ones I was rolling with last night, and another table of quiet gringos who kept to themselves and generally acted like they were very happy to be in a secret karaoke spot in Chinatown that's not Winnie's (Winnie's is not "secret" or "soooo Chinatown"). We ordered 2 plates of sausages which were the only things they had to offer and popcorn and we sang some songs. I should say everyone else sang and I was backup danced. I don't remember going home but I got home somehow. The next morning my bra was in the kitchen. No idea what might have transpired there...

I had a proper dinner at Macao Trading Company tonight with my old, dear friend Manny. I have only had the late night bar menu after Drunken Dragon Night, but tonight I ordered from the full menu and it was DELICIOUS! I love "Ants Climbing on Trees" that was my favorite dish and the swiss chard was so good too. Tomorrow night is another Drunken Dragon Night this time with Crystal Skull Vodka. Can I just say that even though I am doing a show for their open bar, it is incredibly difficult to get one of those coveted empty bottles even to use as a prop! They are getting me one, the small one to use for my act tomorrow night, but I believe I have to return it! The open bar is from 9-11pm and the show is at 11pm. There is no more intermission so come early or else you will miss the show or not be able to get in. It has been sauna-room-packed every single month.

I also found out tonight that Chow Bar has closed. Chow Bar was where it really started for me. I used to produce the "Dim Sum Burlesque" show there every Sunday. I started the show November 2009 and pulled the plug mid-May 2010 due to financial reasons. And I have always felt a little guilty ending the show because they had invested the money and time in building a stage for me, that expensive flocked vintage wallpaper, the spotlight, the giant poster of me, the postcards, and numerous other things. I just couldn't afford dishing out a couple hundred every Sunday. I was only getting cover, not the bar or food, and there were quiet nights when I had to pay everyone out of my own pocket. I started to feel like an island where I was not getting the support I needed from the venue and performers alik. There were a few who were kind and gracious enough to work for a tip split instead of the guaranteed pay during slow months like January and February, but there were also performers who snubbed the show when I was having the hardest and brokest time there. You can suss out pretty quickly those who want to stick with you through packed and thin nights and those who don't. I ain't judging. Just making an observation.

So anyway yes, Chow Bar has closed. Apparently they sold the business because of - financial reasons. Which explained a lot to me during the last months of unhappy negotiation with them. I feel a strange sense of relief hearing about this tonight because now I realize they had a lot more financial pressure on them than I probably realized, and it sounded like it was a financial black hole for them to keep the business. I doubt having "Dim Sum Burlesque" there on Sunday nights would have made a big difference in the long run so in a way I feel like my gut instincts were right, to make an exit when people still love you and not overstay one's welcome.

someting happened in the bathroom last night

The CMJ showcase at Backstage Bar last night was crazy and was 1.5 hr behind schedule. Diamondsnake didn't even go on til 1:30am and I rushed over there right after Nurse Bettie at 11:30pm. There was NO place to change, the green room is behind the stage, the long outside was like a snake weaving down the block of music hipsters. We rolled up and got in the "backstage" with Tomato and Dave and just waited there standing around for an hour and a half. Then Phil and Moby showed up. They were all standing around saying how they are not used to being up this late. Many dudes approached Moby and said stuff to him like, "Man, you are a true legend." A lot of you have asked me what Moby is like. He is nice. His energy is really chill and relaxed. Mild mannered socially and very witty. I am not into "celebrities" and I think he's a great musician, obviously influential for many of us growing up and kids growing up now, but to me, he's just a regular creative person who has refined and honed his craft to the utmost. So now you can stop asking me what he is like. During that long hour and a half wait, Rhinestone Zipper posed for press pictures etc and one of them (Groupie #1 as seen above) put her makeup bag on the sink in the bathroom and look what happened! The bloody thing completely fell off the wall! Imagine the lawsuit if a handicapped person (it was the handicap bathroom) had indeed used it and it fell on his/her lap! NOT cool. Rhinestone Zipper prevented a lawsuit! ROCK!

Beatles Burlesque Continues Next Month w/a New Surprise

The chips have fallen where they have always been. Beatles Burlesque is happily staying at Public Assembly thanks very much to the cooperation of the management and team there. We are stoked to keep their Monday Night Burlesque brand alive and well. When everyone's happy, Yoko Chang is happy. Which means a better show.

Next month on Monday, November 8, Beatles Burlesque will feature The Maine Attraction, Gal Friday, Honi Harlow, and sacrificial lamb Madame Deelux! The band will be back together after a month of being separated. And guess what else, my parents will be in attendance for the first time ever! My mom, as most of you already know, knows about my burlesque career and have seen my fan dance (and that's ALL she's ever going to see!) but my dad has not seen ANY burlesque at all. I invited them to come to the show rather than stay in, and they asked, "Will you be performing?" Ha ha! They ARE fans of Vegas topless shows and have been to a few in the past so that's how I sold it to them. As long as they don't see me topless, its all kosher.

Btw - I heard that after the last Beatles Burlesque show, someone was caught masturbating in the men's bathroom!!!!

What I Do on a Day/Night Off

I had a day off today, and by a day off, I mean a day when I didn't have to work on-site at an agency designing someone else's web site and online campaign OR rehearse for hours, spend hours sewing and embellishing a costume, or walk around the garment district looking for all the pieces I need to make a costume. What I did today, happily and wilingly without the clean police forcing me to do it, is swiffer the bedroom, bathroom, hallways, and kitchen. I also mopped the bathroom AND I am doing laundry right now at 11 pm. I also had time to go out to dinner with one of my closest girl friends at a nearby restaurant that just opened two nights ago called The Fat Radish. We sat at the bar and she knew almost everyone there fro the co-owners, the chef, to random people who came by tonight. She is in the hospitality business as are most of my non-burlesque friends. The restaurant's decor is all about texture. Exposed brick walls painted with a haphazard wash of white paint, raw wood ceilings, and big long communal farm tables. The food is interesting. It seems very farm vegetable-based. As their name suggests, there were a few pickled radish dishes that were surprisingly delicious! I totally poopoo-ed it but my friend ordered one and after I tried it, I was a radish convert. We ordered oysters, as we usually do, but the most amazing dish was the Beet Crumble!! You will not believe how delicious this dish was. It is a real crumble! A savory crumble, not like a salad crumble. The thing came out in a little baking dish with a napking wrapped around it. On the top was crumbled nuts and oats, baked in with cheddar cheese and all beet and spinach and some other root-y vegetable. It was warm, nutty, savory, and buttery. This dish further confirms my sneaking suspicion that I am INDEED a closeted vegetarian. The bartender was very attentive and kept refilling our wine glasses and bought us a round of something dark and foul looking which we turned away and asked for Campari with soda instead. Then one of her ex's came in and I really don't like this guy. He dated another friend of mine before my friend from tonight, and I've never heard anything nice about him. (Yes, women TALK to each other). Anyway - every time I see this guy at our mutual friends' parties, he acts like he doesn't know me. And likewise, I do the same. Two can play this game, and I am FAR more skilled at this ridiculous game than some guy from little town New Zealand in the big city. He's so annoying! And he's gotten way FAT with a big thick neck. I can't believe my friends slept with him. Oh, did I also mention that a while ago, he and his partner tried to hire me to design a web site for them for like 1/8 of what it would cost??? They wanted e-cards, music player, all in Flash and we had a few meetings together "shooting the shit" and now at social situations he acts like he does not know me. It's beyond stupid. You know what's stupider? His wet noodle hair.

Anyway. Before this stupid-but-sadistically-enjoyable-encounter, I was inspired today to create a new act. I won't say what it is, but it's not classic and it's not fetish or dirty. It's more dance-pop inspired and I can tell you that it's either going to be Kylie Minoque's "Speakerphone" or Goldfrapp's "Strict Machine" - I really HEART both of these songs forever and that is KEY to doing a good act. LOVE YOUR SONG TO PIECES!! I also resurrected "Enter Sandman" after it got trashed by someone who I won't mention. I brought it back last night at Gloomy Goth Girl's Hard Candy Burlesque show at The Delancey. GGG sang "Enter Sandman" LIVE while I danced. I have minimized the act - my rule nowadays is, "When in doubt, don't rely on props." So I killed the goth locket, the shroud, the feather neck thing, and the chair. I was very happy with it now and it helped to cut the 5 minute long song down to 3.5 minutes. It was really fun hanging out with her crew at The Delancey. So close to my house so I could just roll home. GGG also did an impersonation of "Calamity Chang as a host" which was essentially me drunk and taunting the audience that I will take my clothes off with the help of tequila shots. In my defense that only happened ONCE at Beatles Burlesque. And further more, I never claimed or have ever billed myself as a host in the way say, Murray Hill, World Famous BoB, or Miss Astrid, are. I host to SAVE MONEY so we split the money one person less. I will claim to be a producer and a performer, two facets that I love more than hosting. So, although the impersonation was funny, I felt that I needed to explain myself so that no one has the wrong impression of what I want to accomplish. (Love you, JJ!) Here's a picture of me in my gothy-hair MU. You can't really tell from this picture cause of the lighting but my hair is teased out really big and I have sparkly blue eye make up all around and pale lips.

Backstage at The Delancey for Hard Candy Burlesque

Monday night's Beatles Burlesque was rained out! Or, I should say, hailed out. Everyone was telling me about tennis ball-sized hails coming down. Of course it was sunny all bloody day and right at 8pm, the rain started. This month's show was very tulmultuous from the beginning. First our guitarist Michael Webb is out of the country in Berlin working on a shoot for the new movie Three Musketeers with Milla Jovovich and Orlando Bloom. Then our drummer Matt Egan is working on a big deadline design project and his other band Made Out of Babies were in town to record. Honestly, I wanted to cancel the October show for financial reasons.

**** DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT PRODUCER WOES OR IF YOU THINK IT'S UNKOSHER TO TALK ABOUT VENUES AND WHAT THEY CHARGE AND WHAT WE MAKE AT THE END OF THE SHOW. IF YOU READ ON, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK AND DON'T BITCH TO ME ABOUT REVEALING MY WOES AS A PRODUCER IN THIS BUSINESS ****

I am NOT making money at this show. I have never made any or even broken even. This is a pure passion project because I love seeing how much people love it, seeing the band really take a claim to what they are doing, seeing how performers interpret the Beatles, and the enthusiasm the public has towards the show. It's gotten mentioned recently in Metromix - the grandmama of all night life activities - and in NYPost. However, just because your show gets press or thrown a dog bone does not mean you are gonna get bodies out to Williamsburg on a Monday "work night". And at 10pm. Plus the venue takes a cut AND house fees. It kills me. And it's a split of 9. Four members in the band which can't be minimized, 4 burlesque performers, and myself. The last couple of shows I have not paid myself or Michael or Honi - we've discussed this arrangement before and we got each other's backs as friends. But this isn't even counting all the promotional work I do like design and maintain the show web site, buy Facebook ads for the show every month, postcard/poster costs, and not to mention the band members putting money out of their pockets to rent rehearsal space. Some venues will let you use their space during the day to rehearse but not this one. Anyway so the rain really fucking bummed me out and not having Michael there to cheer me on, bummed me out more. Okay so back to the trials of doing this month's show. We ask Carl, the guitarist, who stood in for Michael before. He agrees to do it. Then we find another drummer. Then two hours later the drummer retracts his involvement claiming he fucked up his schedule (LAME and in my book NOT an excuse!!!). Again, I suggest we cancel the show this month. No one wants to. We find another drummer through Carl who is totally down for learning all the songs lickety split. They rehearse and rehearse and I'm feeling good. The night before Monday night, Brassy calls and tells me she's lost her voice due to inexplicable reasons. I'm beyond pissed at this point. I just want to get it over with. As a producer, you often feel like you have to be a mother. She has no replacement for me. I'm on videoChat with Michael in Berlin fucking stressed out of my mind, and then he suggested asking Bastard Keith to do all the vocals! Brilliant!!! Especially since BK and I have already been discussing which month he should come and sing/guest host the show. This was perfect and maybe it was meant to be for this month. The man pulled a miracle overnight and learned all 10-12 songs and showed up at 730 for sound check and fucking saved the night. I was very happy to hear the songs sang by a man - it was a really nice change. Anita Cookie also sang "Oh Darlin" and holy crap, that girl can sing! I knew she danced and sang with Kenball but this was such a delightful surprise. Maine Attraction also fuckin brought it. I've never seen her do acts like this, where it's more contemporary (well 60s-70s) and she looked fucking HOT with that long hippie wig. All in all the show was GREAT. BK was GREAT. Carl and Mike T were GREAT. Kenball was GREAT. Runaround Sue was GREAT and GoGo Harder my big "if I was a gay man I want to sleep with him" crush-du-jour was AMAZING. That body just won't quit!! Moneywise, it sucked dick balls. I woke up the next morning with a new plan in mind and it is now in action. I will know in a couple days where the chips will fall. The show has been there for 7 months now and I would like to keep it there if things go my way. But I am a pragmatist at heart and centuries of Chinese money-saving ancestors are not going to let me make a stupid financial decision. Here's a picture of me pre-show in a different outfit than what I usually wear at Beatles:

This Saturday night is "Spreading the Curtains" at Coco de Mer again! This month I will be working with Gigi Lafemme and Sapphire Jones. I've recently started working with Ms. Jones from performing at Doc Wasabassco's Revealed and City Winery shows. She and I share the love for feather tattoos. The three of us are working on a pretty cool group finale to a song that's been on my mind for a long time. It's a little conceptual and my critique of "fashion". You'll have to come to see it! As usual, 42Below will be on hand with the all night open bar along with The Naughty Housewife's delicious baked treats. The cost is only $25 when you think about it, that's two cocktails at any other place in SoHo. The show starts at 8pm pretty promptly and is over by 930pm at the latest. Still early enough for everyone to do whatever else they have planned. Who goes to a party before 930 anyway?

Ah, my laundry is done now! I've been letting Chewie sleep in bed with me since Michael is LOATH to have dog hair on the black comforter. But what I'm doing is I wash the sheets the day before he comes back so he'll never know! WA HA HA!

Before I sign off, one last imagery that inspires me. This is Bai Guang, one of the most famous sirens from 1930s Shanghai. I have an act to her song "Flame of Love."

Bai Guang 1920