Sunday at Dim Sum Burlesque

Here's tha sizzle people! I'm very excited to host and perform this weekend because I have two NEW performers who have not been at Chow yet: Amber Ray who is an international burlesque star and costumer extraordinaire and downtown darling Rita Menweep! I can't wait to see their acts and to top it off- Dame is doing a new act that I've never seem before either!! I wish I had more time the last two weeks from packing and moving to finish the new act too for this Sunday! http://app.e2ma.net/campaign/1403536.823aa6b2c9d74b9859c60cfc9b52b6f0

Pure as Snow

Eventhough it is snowing like crazy we are still going to be at Nurse Bettie tonight! I'm really looking forward to it because even though it'll be snowy outside (better than rain), it'll be warm and cozy inside with good tunes and naked girls. The line up tonight: newbie on the block Gemini Rising at the peephole gogo-ing, Gigi LaFemme, Rosabelle Selavy, fresh back from the west coast The Flying Fox, Broadway Brassy, and myself!

Big, big week

This week I'm moving to a new apartment. A proper 2 bedroom apartment with a balcony, a living room, a bathroom that has a tub, real hallways, and elevators. You may wonder, "What's the big deal?" Well, it is a MAJOR deal for me because the last six years I've been living in an under 300 sq. feet apartment with my dog Chewie where I sleep, eat, relax, read - all in the same room, on the same sleeper/couch from CB2 that has only been converted into the "couch mode" twice. I'm totally intimidated by all the new space. I have no idea where to put myself for various activities. Michael has been using Floor Planner to lay out the rooms and placing furniture for me to look at, and my first reaction to everything is, "Wow... that feels so empty." He said I'm like a convict moving to a real apartment after living in prison for years. Btw, Floor Planner is the coolest program online ever! And it's free! And you can view your room in 2d or - 3D! If you were addicted to playing the Sims like I was (I'm talking not going out of the apartment for 48 hours, Doritos on the left, Coke on the right, and pillows all over the place till I finished the game), you'll love playing with this site. Ikea makes one too on their web site but its only for PCs.

I'm noticing a lot of things during this transition period. For example, I've never had the opportunity to develop an interest in home furnishings, interior decorating, cooking, and general nesting thingingmabobs because my living quarters were so limited. Now that I have the space, I found myself thinking, "Ummm I really want to make chicken parmesan in the kitchen!" or "Ummm I would love to have a big cork board in the studio to tack on images!" I wonder if I will suddenly start making floral felt pins, embroidering tote bags, or oh my god, scrapbooking or knitting on the subway!

Dim Sum Burlesque Line Up for February 21, 2010

Click here to see the line-up for Sunday's "Dim Sum Burlesque" Show: One Night Only
RSVP required via advance ticketing here or by calling Chow Bar at 212.633.2212. Hope to see you there!

Nurse Bettie Tonight!

I am so excited about tonight's show at Nurse Bettie because I have 2 new games to play on the unsuspecting sausage festival. He he. They are really quite brilliant games that I concocted in my depraved and deviant mind. All I told Brassy is to "wear gloves" for tonight. Haha. She will be doing Magic Man with Michael accompanying her on electric guitar. I have Lil Miss Lixx - who I adore - she is a tall blonde drink of brazen fierceness. Bird of Paradise is doing "Last Girl on Earth", Nikkita Lemarcelle is bringing the classy element to this show, Rosabelle Selavy - that hot mess - will be gogo-ing and doing a special bondage act. Lastly, I'm going to do my favorite number (of the month) to close the show. It's going to be great! I love that bar, Stephen the owner who is so playful and silly and make us all feel very appreciated as performers, and last I heard, he's supposed to make a special cocktail named "Calamity Chang" just for me. :)


The show is at 10 PM. No cover (for a few more weeks!). Nurse Bettie is at 106 Norfolk Street.

Best Valentine's Day

The "Eat, Drink, Woman, Tiger" show this Sunday was stupendous. The show ended up feeling like a girls-gone-wild bachelorette party, and nothing mooshy or Valentiney at all! There were 3 big tables of all girls coming out for dinner and a show on Valentine's Day. I talked to many of them afterwards (as I always do after all my shows like a Chinese wedding), and they were the coolest girls and all very pretty and glammed up. There were a few other smaller tables of couples but the single girl tables were where all the interaction was at. Madame Rosebud was clearly the crowd favorite. She did a brand new act as an homage to women who fantasize about women, and she gave flowers away and kissed one of the girls in the front. Bastard Keith was there too hanging out with us downstairs and being a cool guy all around. Jesse Luttrell (who runs the Bawdy Vaudeville off-broadway show at the Triad Theater) was also a fav with the ladies. His song Pour Me a Man is so hysterical that even the straight guys laughed half way through the song. He really is a pleasure to watch and hear. And hello? Who brought down the house? Brassy! She did 2 new songs - Feel Like Making Love and My Funny Valentine - both with Michael on acoustic guitar. It gave me chills down my neck hearing her hold out those 2 really long notes.

So we are full speed ahead for the rest of the month! I will post the line-up in a couple of days. In the meantime, make sure you order tickets in advance!

Sister Calamity

One last number! It's so fin hanging out with the Dirty Dolls in between sets at The Pantry Lab's Supper Club Dining Extravanga party in TriBeCa. For the black fan dance, I danced on the bar. The space owner was kind and trusting enough that my heels wouldn't scratch his fancy metal countertop. The Poison and Nun act I did on the floor where the Stumblebum Brass Band played. Those guys are a riot!


-Posted on the fly!

Checking out the performance space for tmrw

-Posted on the fly!

The Spitting Problem

I'll be the first to say it - the Chinese immigrants in Chinatown need to stop spitting on the street! Not only that, they need to stop blowing their nose into their hands and then shaking that crap off too. It's a personal affront when I see them doing stuff like this. It drives me crazy! Not only is it a filthy habit, it makes Chinese people look absolutely disgusting!!! I'm so ashamed of their behavior. It reflects poorly on me. The only reason why they do it - ignorance. 90% of the Chinese you see in Chinatown are from the Fujian Province. They comprise the newest wave of immigrants. These are not Hong Kongnese, Shanghai-nese, or Taiwanese (just roll with me even if you don't know the difference). The majority of Fujianese are villagers, farmers, people from very agricultural, low-income, and basic educational backgrounds. They come to NYC to make money in the restaurant community and send the money back to their families in China. Sounds noble? Yes and no.

For one thing, and call me a Fascist (I don't care!), if you are going to come to a new country and reap the benefits of what this country has to offer (higher pay, freedom, life & educational opportunities), the least you can do is TRY to conduct yourself in a respectable manner. I'm not saying they have to suddenly start doing double air kisses or say "Ciao, darling!" to every Harry, Tom, and Dick, but come on! Hacking up a big phlegm on Essex Street and blowing your nose onto the subway track? How is that civilized behavior? The way I see it, it's cultural rape. You come to this country, you don't pay tax (I'm pretty sure the rest business is cash and under the table), you send all the money back to your home country, and you take and take disrespecting the cultural norms of this country and disrespecting yourself. Where is my skin lightening cream???

My Dad, who is originally from Wubei, hates coming to NYC to visit me because he can't stand Chinatown. He says they are all peasants and behave like they are still standing in their rice paddies. So what's the solution? When I went to Shanghai six years ago, I noticed that the government has taken a huge initiative to put up public signs saying "No Spitting". Sociological change like getting the Chinese to stop spitting on the street is gradual and will take time. One of those Malcom Gladwell theories about the rule of 150 probably. Why can't Bloomberg install "No Spitting" signs in Chinatown? It will secretly make a lot of people happy. Me, for sure. If he is reluctant to do so then it's the job of the outreach organizations in Chinatown to educate the newcomers on basic Do's and Don'ts of living in the US. You want everyone to see how cool and interesting the Chinese culture is? Enough about the soup dumplings and the dragon dances. Stop the spitting first.

Another "v-loggin" test

Is this interesting or lame? Do you prefer to read me or watch me or both? I'm making a funny face.

"Supper Club" Party Saturday Night, "Eat Drink Woman Tiger" Dinner & Show Sunday Night

As I sit away at work, sleepy and eyes stinging from staring at the computer too much, animating banners for a large bank client, I am also playing Robot Unicorn Attack and making a wish! I wish they will close the damn office tomorrow cause of this impending snow storm.

Thursday's Nurse Bettie "Spank" night (due to a benefit party for Haiti) is not on this Thursday but will be back on again next week, same time, same place.

I am totally looking forward to The Pantry Lab's:

Supper Club: Dining & Libation Extravaganza

party on Saturday night. I'm doing 3 numbers there and it'll be fun to see the Dirty Dolls Lingerie girls again. They are having a trunk show and lingerie fitting. I will also be walking around in DD lingerie in between sets. The Stumblebum Brass Band will also play a long set through the night. The event is sponsored by Svedka so there's an open bar all night along with tapas. I hope there's enough of a stage or at least a clearance for me to do my numbers. For $20 in advance, that's kind of a cool event that I would go to myself. You can get an advance ticket here.

And I'm also excited about Sunday's "Eat, Drink, Woman, Tiger!" dinner & show at Chow Bar!! It's Year of the Tiger so make sure you wear red underwear to ward off evil and bring luck in your pants. Haha. I have such an amazing line up that I am so excited about and I feel really lucky that the performers like me enough to want to be in my show. Grace Gotham who has been featured in Marie Claire magazine and interviewed on Oprah Radio is doing a tiger act in honor of Chinese New Year, Bawdy Jesse who does this really awesome off-broadway cabaret show at the Triad Theater (where the most recent episode of Ugly Betty was filmed!) is coming to sing a bawdy love song, Madame Rosebud is going to do a homage to M.Butterfly (one of my favorite David Hwang plays of all time), Strawberry Fields is doing 2 acts-yes-2 acts on Sunday, and Brassy is doing a couple of new songs with my rockstar Michael Webb. I am debating whether to do 2 acts myself or just one. Seriously. Crazy tight packed show on Sunday. And I don't have work on Monday (President's Day) so watch out NYC! The show is only $12 a person! You can buy one here.

Peter just emailed me the special menu items for Sunday too.
They are:

Strawberry Champagne Cosmo Oysters on the half shell with Chinese Black Vinegar Sauce Spicy Tuna Tartare with yuzu lemon ponzu Naked Shanghai Lobster Noodles Grass Fed Rib Eye Steak Teriyaki Molten Chocolate Cake with Blood Orange Sauce

Lovers Rock Party

At the norwood club downstairs changing with Nikkita & this cool old mask.

Backstage at galapagos pre-game party

Ugly Test Video

I'm going multimedia! This is the first test of video/text blogging. It's the future! Btw, that's my dog Chewie.

Tonight & Sunday SuperBowl Shows

You know how sometimes if you drink too much coffee your stomach gets all tight and you feel like you have to take a poop (but you don't really)? That's how I feel right now sitting at work but thinking about tonight's show at Nurse Bettie and about Sunday's show with Runaround Sue's SugarShackBurlesque at Galapagos in DUMBO. I'm doing 2 acts in the pre-game party starting at 3 PM with the Peculiar Gentlemen. Kick-off is at 630 PM projection on the 50ft. screen! I'm NOT a sports fan but given the context of the art space, I can perhaps enjoy it ironically. IF there are chicken wings for me! I also decided that I want to do more metal/hair metal acts with Brassy and Michael (we still have yet to come up with a clever name for the 3 of us. Suggestions welcome!) so I've started working on Metallica's "Enter Sandman".

Speaking of Metallica, I remember going to the One concert when I lived in Texas. I was a junior in high school and as a part time job I was working with my girl friends in telemarketing (since we talked so much on the phone we thought it would be an easy job - we were wrong. haha.). There was this older guy working there and he was a total metal head with long hair. I thought he was cute cuz of the hair and he was older. HOT! He asked me to go see Metallica and I said yes. We smoked a joint on the lawn and made out like bandits then went back to his house and then things went waa waa waaa... He still lived at home with his parents! I was not going to have sex with an older guy who was still living home with his folks! Standards, people! After making out some more, I put on the brakes and said, "Drive me home." That was that. I never saw him again.

Anyway - so back to my AWESOME life here in NYC. More info on Sunday's pre-game show!
Don't have a TV? Love Chicken Wings & Sliders? Haven't watched Football all year but love to PARTY!?! Then come on down to Galapagos for a Pre-Game Party and watch the Superbowl with theater style projections.

Sunday, February 7th
DOORS: 3:00PM | SHOW: 3:30PM
KICK-OFF: 6:30PM
Tickets: $5.00
Tickets Available at the door.

Sugar Shack Burlesque & Brooklyn's Peculiar Gentlemen will be hosting a Pre-Game get together with superstar DJ jenNYork from Bar 13, Apotheke, Mile High Crew at Piano's

Spend the afternoon with Galapagos for Football, Burlesque, Live Music & Beer Specials!

"The Spanking of Lower East Side"

Yes, I am starting a new Thursday night burlesque show at the retro-pinup-themed bar in LES called Nurse Bettie. The space is intimate (small) but the decor and ambiance are perfect for what I want to do. Unlike Dim Sum Burlesque which is inspired by 1930s Shanghai, Weimar Berlin, and Jazz Age NY, "Spanking" is going to be more fetish-y and S&M-y. Woohoo! I named it thus as a homage to A. N. Roquelaure's The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty (part of the Sleeping Beauty trilogy that was written under Anne Rice's pseudonym before she made it big with the Interview with the Vampire series). For this inaugural night, I want to debut the Nun. I don't want to give away what the concept is, but let me just say that the reaction I've gotten from describing the act to the closest and dearest (who know me really well) have all been - look of aghast, shock and then ultimately resolving to a "you are SO going to hell" look. Fantastic reception, if you ask me.

I know "shock" in itself is soooo 1990's. It's not postmodern or even "post-postmodern" (haha) to be "shocking" - shocking is Vice Magazine. Shocking is boring. It's a middle class reaction and observation from the outside of the inside. I am on the inside. Having said that, I still have tremendous respect for any visual artist who have the ability to "shock" in this day and age. I have to admit that this Nun concept is inspired by Miss Rosewood. I've never met a more fascinating creature than her, and I've had many stimulating conversations with her about her acts and the notion of the "theater of hysteria". Her acts that I've seen at The Box and The Slipper Room reminded me a lot of the late Kathy Acker's works namely Blood and Guts in High School. Acker and Rose are both shockers extraordinaire but with a highly developed intellectual context and academic reference. They take shock and elevated it to the point of terrorism (in Acker's case its textual, Rose is visual) - what do I mean by that? Terrorism in the sense of an assault by challenging conventional readerly (versus writerly) notions of linear, goal-oriented narrative, rising action, climax, and denouement. Assault in the sense that entertainment should "entertain" by opiating the masses. I think there is value in shock if there is a socio-political or socio-economical context. Oh crap, I have to go to this meeting now! Will write more later.