My birthday, a new show, butt plug, a new act

That's what's going on in the last couple of weeks! Wednesday was my birthday - 35!!! I have no qualms about my age and I'll tell anyone who ask how old I am. Frankly I have no idea why it's such a big deal. I don't care if I'm 35 or 45 cause I never want to be in my 20s again. I have liked every new year of my life better than the last year. And I'm having the best motherfucking time ever in my life in every aspect of my life. I would have NEVER ever dreamed of this when I was in high school. The high school me thought the 35 year old me would be a journalist of some kind successful in some way (I was voted "most likely to succeed" my senior year). I don't think I ever pictured myself married or with kids though. That scenario never entered into my "visualization board". I refuse to define my sense of success and happiness through mainstream culture. Vivian Luu of The Northwest Asian Weekly recently wrote this article about one of my burlesque heroines, The Shanghai Pearl out in Seattle, and she kindly interviewed me and let me share the article too.

The other new thing that I've been working on has finally been finalized this week. I am starting a new monthly Saturday night show with UK luxury lingerie and erotic toy boutique Coco de Mer at their little velvet room in the back of the flagship Nolita store. The first inaugural show is Saturday, June 19 at 8pm. Seating starts at 730pm. 42Below vodka is my official alcohol sponsor for the show and will be featuring a punch bowl and two muddled cocktails that will rotate monthly. This show is a little over an hour long and will be open bar provided by 42Below. The cover is still TBD but believe you me, you will hear more about this show. It's very exclusive because the room can only fit 35 people. The line-up will be announced shortly, but so far Amber Ray and Madame Rosebud are on board! The show will be called "Calamity Chang Presents Spreading the Curtains at Coco de Mer" - I will host the event and have obviously burlesque performances but I'm also going to finally do the 2 other performances I've been dying to do: prose interpretation of a piece of erotica and a demonstration performance utilizing one of the boutique's sex toys.

Speaking of new acts, I found this beauty at the store. I've been looking for a jeweled butt plug for an act then I saw this beauty. But next to this beauty was a butt plug that has a horse tail at the end!!! I think I stopped breathing for 2 seconds when I saw the horsetail butt plug. I must have it!!


Tonight I'm celebrating my birthday with a limo ride - having some friends over for a drink first then headed up to Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem cause that's Texas to me! Peanut shells on the floor, live music, and an ol skool limo provided by Al Limosine!

Here's what I found when I came home this afternoon. Michael decorated the apartment to surprise me!! No one other than my mom has ever successfully surprised the Chang. Not an easy feat to do.

I Showed My Vag

This month marks the one year anniversary of when I decided to stick all of my head (and all my bountiful hair) into the world of burlesque. I mark the date as the day I started kittening and the day I debuted at The Slipper Room in Jo's Beginning burlesque student showcase show. That was April 25th, 2009 - I believe. I had a three-way party after the debut and remember trekking over to Williamsburg immediately afterwards.

I have not stopped to do all that reflection bullshit on how much I've accomplished. I feel that is way too self-congratulatory right now to do. If I want to feel self-congratulatory, I'll just do a heap of cocaine on a night off. But - having said that - I will take this moment to self congratulate myself on the badass awesomeness that was Beatles Burlesque on Monday night!

To date, this was my best. I mean as a creator, producer, and hostess. I did not perform in the inaugural show because I had my hands and head full of a million other details of getting the band rehearsal time, coordinating who is doing what number, promotion, and running two other shows and a bunch of other secret pursuits I'm on. And of course, the night of the show I had to start a new day time job at a new agency which in hindsight was a blessing in disguise cause I was forced to think about something else all day instead of micromanaging and obsessing. I was really tired having to go straight from work to Public Assembly for sound check, but nothing a shot of whiskey can't fix.

The energy was tremendous from the minute I got there. Honi was setting up her elaborate setup for Blackbird, the boys in the band looked so great in their first set outfits: black suit jacket, white shirt, and skinny black tie. The gogo dancers looked fantastic in their fringey outfits. I love it when the visuals come together and its one big spectacle. My MC outfit was a big fro with a little silver thing with lots of silver fringe and white gogo knee boots with my old raver days white fur bootie covers. Yes, I used to go to raves... glow sticks and mini backpacks and all... sad days.

We started on time and opened the show with 2 songs by Ticket to Ride. I was also really excited for Brassy cause this is the first show I've done with her where she is providing the lead vocals on all the songs. I kept asking her if the sets were too long but she rocked it out. It was fucking amazing to hear her with a live band doing rock versions of Beatles. The performers really brought it - there's something about a live band that changes the experience of burlesque. I booked these girls specifically because they all have had lots of experience working with a live band. They can roll with it, improv, and don't need to adhere to a strict sound cue system. The band improvised on many songs and some songs were shortened and extended or had solo drums for instance. The band, the singer, and the performer - they are an organism on stage all working off of each other. As much as I would love to book new performers, this show is not a beginner showcase. I am consideromg adding one sacrificial lamb to be in the show. (Applications and concept proposals welcome! Send it to calamity@foxfatale.com)

A live band really adds to a show, I have to say. But it can be a delicate balance cause you don't want to feel like the band is competing with the dancers and vice versa. I think this time the format was successful because the band played some songs solo without dancers. Stormy Leather did a reverse strip to Sexy Sadie and she did a pretty fucking awesome piece to Revolution complete with a gas mask and a smoke bomb that was *this close* to lighting the curtain on fire. Gal Friday was absolutely gorgeous and delicate and sublime in this pink gown (that she made herself might I add) to Dear Prudence and then she was a black clad, flame haired VAMP for Helter Skelter. Honi's Drive My Car was so hilarious and the audience loved her stage set ups. Madame Rosebud did two crazy acts both of which ended with her doing something nasty to Brassy. I told her (Rosebud) backstage that her performances always veer on the edge of complete abandonment which is transfixing and why she has a signature mark and is so in demand. We talked some more about performativity as I counted out the tip hat. In the end, Brassy closed with "Let It Be" - so beautiful the way they played it and the way she sang it. Oh yes and I flashed my vag at curtain call. I felt like I teased and provoked all night and didn't perform so that was the least I could contribute to humanity - my vag show. The audience was amazing. The energy was so high. I think we all felt high the next day too. Luma Rouge attended and illustrated the show, prints available for purchase. Juliet Jeske blogged about the show. Stay tuned for Burlesque Magazine's review of the show, and Melody Mudd's slideshow for Cultural Capital!

For next month's show on May 10, I will be doing a "Yoko" spoken word performance piece and close with an act. Plus a projected slideshow! woo! The band and Brassy stays. The performer line up may vary and the song list will vary. But here's the set list from Monday for those who are curious:

Ticket to Ride
I Saw Her Standing There
Sexy Sadie
Dear Prudence
Happiness is a Warm Gun
Mean Mr. Muster
Drive My Car
Daytripper
I Me Mine
Blackbird
Revolution
Eleanor Rigby
Helter Skelter
Why Don't We Do It in the Road
Let It Be

Wonton Tacos

• 11th Avenue
• $20 cab ride
• A slippery stage
• Zipper malfunction

That about sums up the first part of my Saturday night at the Cain Luxe show! The space is beautiful adorned with what I assume to be faux elephant tusks as giant pillars surrounding the room and antelope horns as doorhandles. In the center of the room is a skinny long catwalk flanked by loungey sofas on either side. The lighting technician was great. He was professional and helped me figure out how to find a chair for one act (the club did not have a chair to use as a prop). The bartender...not so great. She ignored me and another girl while she was busy making googly eyes with the manager. We must have asked her for a drink three times before she finally turned around and was like, "Oh, sorry..." Whatever! The only sorry here is your brain, lady! This kind of attitude only further confirms my belief that Meatpacking nightclubs only attracts ugly people and it also further affirms my decision to not venture west of 7th Avenue and north of 14th Street (except when having to work or go to Conway or to fabric stores or see a film or try a new hot restaurant or visit a good friend).

I did meet the other performers who were cool, funny women. There was a modern dancer named Jasmin and this girl had the BEST sculpted thighs I've ever seen. You can tell she's been dancing all her life just by her legs. They were like thighs you see in anatomy books where you can see every muscle group. There was a belly dancer named Elektra who I really liked too. The show was billed as "Belly Dance vs. Burlesque" but it wasn't a real competition. At the end of the show the MC decided it was a tie. Scout Durwood was there too but I missed her act because I had to change. My first act was the nun and the only "stage" big enough to fit a fold-up chair was above the speakers which meant there wasn't enough room to walk around the chair, and it was very hard climbing up and down the platform on six inch platform vinyl boots. This is Suck Part Uno.

Suck Part Dos: Second act debut of Enter Sandman. The catwalk is slippery. Too slippery to really be suitable for performing. Elektra and Jasmin both danced barefoot and said it was slippery for them. I slipped a little climbing onto it. (Again, why am I climbing in the first place???) First minute goes well as planned. Prop opens as planned. Gloves come off as planned. Dudes love the song so that's already working in my favor. The costume is elaborate, another plus. When it came time for the zipper, STUCK STUCK STUCK!!! The little motherfucker would NOT budge and if this skirt doesn't come off the rest of the costume wont come off. I finally had to just throw out all choreography or structure and just improvise. Thankfully for the group of enthusiastic Metallica heads on the side, I asked one of the guys to open the zipper and sure enough, he unzipped it lickety split with one swift pull and ended my misery. Oh, sweet death.

After Cain, I headed over to Floating Kabarett at Galapagos dropping another $20 something in cab fare. Too many props and I hate taking public transportation in drag. I was so happy to be there and see Brassy, Michael, Diane, and Rosebud. It was a good night there for most part except sound was off cue most of the night. I did Sandman again at Kabarett and I realized that doing Cain was good because if the zipper fuck up happened here instead of there, there would be NO audience nearby to help unzip me. I would have been FUCKED and probably never get booked there again! The burlesque gods must have been watching out for me. Thank you! The last act was messed up because sound didn't have the overlay track that was supposed to play along with Brassy and Michael. So they stood there for a seemingly infinite amount of time on stage waiting for the track to start, then finally sound just played the original track and I just had to come out and dance. Brassy and Michael had to just step off to the side of the stage. I was pissed about that. Bjorn and Olga covered this slip up so good though. They said, "Wow, that was so postmodern." Haha. I was a total pomo-head in college and I love that kind of theory humour. Bjorn and Olga introduces me as someone who they found in the midwest eating wonton tacos. Then he was telling me that "wonton tacos" really exist at Applebees!
If that's not proof that we have finally made the cross-over, I don't know what would. Wontons at Applebees! It's time to start the Chinese Pride Parade!

After the show I hung out with Rosebud because she's in my Beatles Burlesque show at Public Assembly on April 12. We talked about the acts she is doing for it and I can't wait to see them! The show line-up is intense! Confirmed performers are Gal Friday, Stormy Leather, Honi Harlow, Madame Rosebud, and Broadway Brassy. Then I realized I was STARVING!! The only thing I ate that day was 4 chicken nuggest and some fries at noon. So we called Arecibo and went to the only place open 24/7 in Lower East Side: Remedy Diner. I had a turkey sandwich and Michael had a burger. I thought it was really good! The lettuce was crisp and clean, the bread was good, and I loved sitting at the counter overhearing drunk people's phone conversations with other drunk people on the other line.

Last Night's Show @ Public Assembly

Was tremendous!!! I was nervous because it was a new venue and a MUCH larger venue with a real stage waaaay up there. Although I've performed many times here on my own and knew the space, it was a whole other monster hosting the entire show and running 12 acts. I really felt grateful having Brassy there because our bantering on stage took some of the pressure off of me during the first set. The lights are quite bright at PA and I couldn't see anyone in the audience. I feed off primarily from the audience, on their body language, their response, and I was thrown off a bit because it was just a dark mass out there except for the table of girls in the front from Georgia who were boisterous and burlesque virgins. Having a real sound booth and Jesus working the sound booth was SUCH a luxury and being able to hear the guitar the way it's SUPPOSED to sound like during Michael's duets with Brassy (House of the Rising Sun, Magic Man) made me so happy. I ran the show in 2 big sets of 6 acts plus a drinking game and a mini-gogo song dance where I poured Bud Light all over myself. I got positive feedback and I can't wait for next month when I do "Beatles Burlesque" with a live band! I am casting and finalizing the songs. I'm happy to announce that so far the line-up includes Honi Harlow, Madame Rosebud, and Broadway Brassy.

Best Valentine's Day

The "Eat, Drink, Woman, Tiger" show this Sunday was stupendous. The show ended up feeling like a girls-gone-wild bachelorette party, and nothing mooshy or Valentiney at all! There were 3 big tables of all girls coming out for dinner and a show on Valentine's Day. I talked to many of them afterwards (as I always do after all my shows like a Chinese wedding), and they were the coolest girls and all very pretty and glammed up. There were a few other smaller tables of couples but the single girl tables were where all the interaction was at. Madame Rosebud was clearly the crowd favorite. She did a brand new act as an homage to women who fantasize about women, and she gave flowers away and kissed one of the girls in the front. Bastard Keith was there too hanging out with us downstairs and being a cool guy all around. Jesse Luttrell (who runs the Bawdy Vaudeville off-broadway show at the Triad Theater) was also a fav with the ladies. His song Pour Me a Man is so hysterical that even the straight guys laughed half way through the song. He really is a pleasure to watch and hear. And hello? Who brought down the house? Brassy! She did 2 new songs - Feel Like Making Love and My Funny Valentine - both with Michael on acoustic guitar. It gave me chills down my neck hearing her hold out those 2 really long notes.

So we are full speed ahead for the rest of the month! I will post the line-up in a couple of days. In the meantime, make sure you order tickets in advance!