Calamity Chang

Did you know...

2012-01-24T11:35:00.001-05:00

Wednesday, 1/25/2012 at Duane Park

Did you know that the cabaret hostess ( ) in Shanghai during the 30s epitomized the beautiful yet dangerous modern girl who enjoyed the exalted status of wealth and fame much like Hollywood stars of our time! There was even a publication called "Crystal"that reported all the minute details of where the more famous hostesses were working at, who their lovers were, and various gossip completely dedicated to Shanghai's nightlife. The cabaret hostess became a figure of that embodied Shanghai's changing political and cultural climate during that war-torn time. Even in this tumultuous environment of multiple wars both civil and national, Shanghai became the hub of several artforms including Chinese cinema and Chinese popular music.
Here's an old photograph of cinemas from the 30s in Shanghai from Liangyou magazine another famous nightlife tabloid.

Blue+Yellow = Purple

2012-01-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

In my pursuit to find the PERFECT stage light colors for my yellow Asian complexion, the latest discovery is this blue hue which doesn't look sooo bad but it does make me look a bit purple. I've seen red lights on me in pictures and they look good. The worst I've ever seen (besides fluorescent but that looks terrible on everyone) is a blue and gold contrast they used at an unnamed venue - and it turned me GREEN! Any fellow stage lighting masters out there who can offer some magic advice on flattering lighting on Asian skin for live performances?

Tina Tassel's "Meat My Friends" at Full Cup, Staten Island, January 2012. Photo by Mr. Vinyl

My Experience of Shen Yun at Lincoln Center

2012-01-16T15:36:00.000-05:00

I just posted a new entry at Asiance Magazine about my experience seeing Shen Yun for the first time this weekend. It was inspiring and also not what I was expecting! I was thoroughly inspired though to adapt the traditional Chinese "water sleeve" dance to a burlesque version. Read more here http://www.asiancemagazine.com/2012/01/16/my-experience-of-shen-yun-at-lincoln-center.

Nude Photo Studies in a Hotel Room

2012-01-03T20:48:00.003-05:00

These are quick body and environment studies shot in our room at Hotel Veritas in Cambridge, MA over New Year's Eve weekend. All photos by Mike Webb Photography.

Champagne Soaked in Boston!

2012-01-02T00:08:00.004-05:00

NYC, I love you but I think I love performing elsewhere on New Year's Eve more, I do declare! Boston was so much fun! I've never been to Boston and Stormy has been once in high school for a debate team competition at Harvard, so it was really fun for both of us. We got on the Amtrak bright and early Saturday morning for our 4 hour ride. We were each doing three acts in the night. I was doing the black fan dance, the blue Vegas sparklers act, and the finale before midnight was my champagne bath act. Stormy was doing her Feeling Good drag act, her white fan dance, and at the request of the venue, her infamous Blondage rope act.

Waiting for Amtrak

We were close to the Cafe cart. Michael bought us a morning round!

We roll in Boston round 2pm in the afternoon and stopped by the Beehive right away to check out the venue and space. The Beehive is really nice. Tons of exposed brick walls with an upstairs bar and a spacious downstairs with a long bar and an area with a stage for the band and dancing. There was a grand carpeted stairway that connected the upstairs and downstairs. We met a couple of the owners, the managers, and the music director and went over the set list for the night over an early champagne toast. Everyone was detail oriented, professional, and had answers to every tech/sound/lighting question I had. I could tell it was going to be a good night.

The Beehive Boston!

Afterwards we checked into our hotel that The Beehive so kindly provided for us. Hotel Veritas was located in Cambridge right in the middle of Harvard University. I didn't know there were so many universities and colleges in Boston. I knew about Harvard but not Berklee College of Music. You could see musicians everywhere walking around with their black guitar cases strapped on their back. The hotel is a new boutique hotel that opened a little over a year ago. It was beautiful! I loved the interior design lots of ombre tones, teal and grey gradients, and my room was a corner room with grey walls and beautiful sunlight streaming in through sheer curtains. Michael did a quick photo study of me in the room with the sunlight which I will post later. Our call time wasn't until 845 PM so the three of us had time for a stroll around Cambridge, grabbed a bite to eat, and had some downtime for a naparoo. I do love my sleep!

The lobby of the hotel

Fireplace!

When we got to the Beehive, they have transformed the space into a glitzy, glittery, festive party space! And holy cow there was an impressive buffet setup upstairs and it smelled INCREDIBLE! The food just kept coming all night long til 2 am!

Oh yea... come inside to my belly

What I was thinking, "I'm so hitting that when I'm done performing"

As people started to pour in (they were sold out and over sold), everyone is well dressed, pleasant, and there was a lot of sequins! It was an older, sophisticated crowd which made me quite happy. Civilized behavior on NYE. Imagine that! The band was awesome too. One of their lead singers Sinclair was also from NYC and he was awesome! He acted as our MC and intro-ed each of us perfectly.

Our walking around oufits!

Right before the countdown

The band, that's Sinclair on the right

About to go on...

Earlier on in the evening...

Later on in the evening!

Tatas on fire!

Post champagne bath getting carried off back to the dressing room! Olé!

Everything went really well. We had a smaller space to dance on than originally expected but we worked it out. Stormy rolled with everything with aplomb and we had such a great time! The audience was calling out her name before Sinclair even introduced her. It was hilarious. Then when she was doing Blondage, the guys behind me were like, "Wow." Then a few seconds later. "Wow". Repeat. Rock! During my champagne bath act there was a music glitch... but I still made it onto the long bar and did my bath and was drenched in champagne in the end per usual. The staff at the Beehive were incredibly accommodating and made double and triple sure we had everything we needed. The bouncers cleared people far off from the bar and acted as my human velvet rope. So sweet.

Lost items tally for the weekend: I lost one expensive earring. Stormy lost her fluffy ear muffs. Michael lost an expensive camera view finder. But overall casualty was low. Fun was high!

We had brunch at a classic local favorite, Leo's Diner, recommended by Bertal from the Behive. It was delicious! Old school style diner counters and all.

Strawberry stuffed french toast.. YUM

Technically this was my first meal of 2012, these sweet thin tortas that Hotel Veritas provided in the lobby. So good!

Another reason to love Hotel Veritas: electric blue faceted gemstone faucet heads!

And here are a couple of short clips from our night of Stormy and I walking around and then a very short clip of my finale champagne bath on the bar. It got too crowded for Michael to come around to the front to get a better view but it gives you an idea.

The Final Push!

2011-12-27T00:57:00.001-05:00

Besides all the shows I am and have been doing this busy month, I have quite a few blog posts that have been festering away just waiting for me to have some downtime where I can gather my thoughts. For now I will have to content myself with getting my costumes together to perform in BOSTON for New Year's Eve at the very popular, highly beloved The Beehive in a part of Boston that my Boston-ite friends have unanimously praised from the vibe to the sight line. The owner is also a friend of a friend, and she highly recommended working with him. All these things (hopefully) bode good things because I do believe that whatever you do on New Year's Eve holds a glimpse of things to come in 2012.

For instance last NYE I performed at Macao Trading Company's annual decadent party (do they do anything that's NOT decadent?) where I ended up hosting the event standing on top of the bar while Bird of Paradise dodged the servers while doing her tightrope act and Lil Steph worked with a space that was the circumference of a poodle skirt. No joke. It was a very hectic night as it usually is here in NYC on NYE. Steph and her boy Ray crashed at our place. We were all so hungry that we ordered Domino's, the only place delivering that night, and we watched "Inglorious Bastards" which I never saw before because I have an anti-Tarantino soapbox that I stand on. I didn't even know who Michael Fassbender was when I saw this movie and look what happened in 2011? I got to work with him on one of the most controversial and critically praised film of the year, Shame! And in 2011, I have ordered more Domino's than ever before... Their new chicken nuggets are REALLY good, for real!

Stormy Leather and I will be performing together at The Beehive and staying overnight at a really nice boutique hotel that The Beehive have generously and kindly provided for us along with all transportation coverage. We are each doing 3 acts for the night. I am really excited about going to Boston for NYE and performing for the audience at Beehive. Maybe this means next year I will be traveling and performing out of NYC more or that I will become a conservative Republican.

Here's the flyer for the event in case any of my readers will be there!

Buy tickets online at BeehiveBoston.com!

My 2011 Holiday Card

2011-12-21T09:54:00.000-05:00

Photo by Mike Webb Photography

This year I made a very limited edition of holiday postcards that I sent out to the venues I work for and some other VIP people who have helped me in many ways in my burlesque career. I am sentimental this way. I remember every favor, act of kindness or generosity, and opportunity offered to me from others through the year. I thought about making these available for purchase on my web site but I just got too busy to set that up. Perhaps next year!

Another Uncensored Holiday Picture

2011-12-18T22:55:00.002-05:00

Since there's only a week left to Christmas, here's another picture from my holiday shoot!

Uncensored Holiday Photo Shoot

2011-12-10T14:06:00.003-05:00

Photo by Mike Webb Photography. More to come!

Goin' South!

2011-12-07T11:59:00.004-05:00

I'm finally back in NYC after two trips back-to-back to Dallas, TX and to Charlotte, NC. From now til the beginning of February 2012 when I return to Dallas for the 4th Annual Dallas Burlesque Festival (I am in the Saturday night show at the House of Blues), I will be happily here in NYC putting a few things to bed and starting up a few new things for 2012. One of the things going to bed is my monthly Beatles Burlesque show at Public Assembly in Brooklyn. Next Monday, December 12 is our last and final blow out show! Many people have asked why I am stopping the show and I'm just going to put the rumours to rest right now. It had nothing to do with the venue. It was all my decision. A good actor knows when to exit. After almost two years of a riotous good time with the band and ALL the performers who have ever graced the show, it is time to end on a high note and pursue new opportunities without spreading myself too thin.

One of the new things I am going to be focusing on in 2012 is my dream show! I've finally created enough traction to gather the talent I have been wanting to work with and I have finally found the perfect home for this show. It will launch on Chinese New Year on Wednesday, January 25. Details of the show and location will be announced soon.

Now to recap. I went home to Texas for Thanksgiving and my brother Michael took my Michael to the gun range and they did boy things like shoot guns. I didn't go this time, because I went shopping with my mom and my aunt! My bro also took us for a little tour of a little town called Decatur where we stepped in the Wise County Heritage Museum to have a gander. I saw some cool Victorian things like an authentic hearse, a box containing a set of real unidentified human skeleton, and a much of old newspaper clippings in the upstairs Lost Battalion Room - a room dedicated "to those who lost their lives and those who survived as Japan's prisoners of war in World War II."

Victorian hearse donated by one of the local families

A clipping of Ann Miller

An ol' timey pictorial depicting Japanese torturing American G.I.s

When the elderly gentleman, acting as the museum guide, told us about the room and the tribute to the G.I.s who lost their lives to the Japanese, he made me feel suddenly very self-conscious. This is Texas after all. He sees two "orientals" and one whitey (what's the whitey doing with us? Lol) and I doubt he has any idea whether my bro and I were Chinese, Japanese or Korean. Luckily my brother was also on my wavelength and he being a big chatter off-handedly informed our tour guide that our grandfather fought the Japanese during WWII as well, just to ease everyone's unspoken questions.

I really liked the "downtown" of Decatur which was probably the size of two NYC blocks. But it was really quaint and had some old murals from a few decades ago.


I'm jumpin for joy at sun down!

We also went to the Forth Worth Stockyards where I found a fantastic bobcat pelt that I'm going to turn into a stole. I also saw some fucked up racist, anti-Obama shit at one store. Like these!

The sign says, "OBAMA: Fiddlin' around while thousands of small businesses are goin' down"

"Obama: Fishin' for answers and catchin' nothing!"

Oh, Texas.... I don't even know what to say.

Fort Worth Stockyards

I also performed in another one of Vivienne Vermouth's shows in Deep Ellum this time too. This show was called "Rockband Burlesque" where attendees signed up to play Rock Band while a performer danced to it. Again my brother rounded up his colleagues who rounded up their friends and there was a huge table of his friends and acquaintances at the show. Like last time, I made him leave when I performed. Ha!

In Deep Ellum

After Texas I went straight to Charlotte, NC for the 2nd Annual Southern Exposure Festival burlesque pageant. I wrote about my first time in Charlotte and the "pageant" experience in more depth here. Needless to say, it was interesting. Here are a bunch of photos to give you an idea!

My friend Maggie filming a documentary about burlesque in which I am one of the featured performers and I stayed at an Econo Lodge off the side of a highway. This is the first room before we asked to change rooms.

See? That's the highway to the left! Outside of Upscale Bar & Grill

Damn good curry chicken and rice at Upscale

The Bishop of Burlesque David Bishop & I

Sneaking in a mini pecan pie from Amelie's at sound/tech check at the Visulite Theater

Selia Carmichael performing

Blaze the Red Rose of Texas won Queen!

The madness backstage right before curtain call and title announcement

Last year's King of Southern Exposure, Fonda Lingue from Atlanta. I love her!

Let Me Get My Hands on Your Mammary Glands

2011-11-16T22:00:00.001-05:00

Me, Cheeky Lane, Stella Chuu

I just posted a new post called "Let Me Get My Hands on Your Mammary Glands" at AsianceMagazine.com where the three of us Chinese girls dish about our D's! Read it here >

Here are some more pictures of Cheeky and Stella from shows they've been in.

By Don Spiro


By Maggie Saniewska

By Stacie Joy

Burlesque Eye Makeup for Asian Eyes (AsianceMagazine.com)

2011-10-30T20:32:00.080-04:00

(Originally written for AsianceMagazine.com)

Asian women are obsessed with making their eyes look bigger. No shock to those of us who are Asian. We all have secret tips on how to make our eyes appear bigger with makeup and in more extreme cases with the popular “eyelid” cosmetic surgery which creates that desirable double-lid crease that Western eyes are naturally born with. Although I am not against cosmetic surgery as a theory, I AM against it when a woman’s self esteem becomes reliant on surgery instead of her intellect. Don’t get me wrong. I was not immune to the burning desire to enlarge my eyes when I was growing up in Texas in the land of blonde buxom Barbie dolls with long, long eyelashes and big round blue eyes. I went so far as to wear eyelid tape for a long while during junior high and some of high school despite strange looks from peers and questions such as, “Um... what is that on your eyes?” I have to give the younger me props for doing as I pleased and fearlessly going against the grain, or er I should say, against the eyelid I was born with.

Eyelid tape - very popular in Asia

The topic of cosmetic surgery in Asia has already been heavily discussed on Asiance so I am not going down that road. Instead I am going to discuss how I do my makeup for burlesque shows. I will say right off the bat that the older I get the more of an eye crease I have. I think it’s just from getting older and gravity is pulling my skin down because when I was in my twenties I could never simulate the creased look naturally. Nowadays my concern is more focused on skin care and dutifully washing off stage makeup when I get home. As burlesque superstar World Famous Bob said in her “Burlesque Makeup” class, every night you don’t take off your stage makeup ages you two days. Stage makeup is often made with heavier color pigments, not often the best ingredients, and especially tough around the thinnest and most sensitive skin on yoru face: your eyes. On my days off when there is no show, I wear no makeup at all other than moisturizer with at least 15 SPF. Even if you are indoors, you should always wear some level of SPF protection. Between the eyelash glue, layers of eyeshadow, glitter, blush, and cover-up and foundation, I give my skin a fresh breather as often as I can. I don’t care if I don’t look glamorous off-stage, because I rather have good skin when I’m older instead of looking “fabulous” when I’m picking up my dog’s poop on the street.

When it comes to doing burlesque makeup on Asian eyes, bigger is better. Burlesque makeup is essentially stage makeup which means it is designed to be visible from far away. Your makeup should be visible to the person sitting WAY in the back of the theater. If it looks “too much” to you in the mirror, it is probably almost right. If you start looking like a drag queen, then it is perfect. To me doing “burlesque makeup” is not the same thing as “pin-up makeup” which is less exaggerated, does not use as much glitter, and is probably what most people think of when they think “burlesque”. For example, I would do “pin-up makeup” if I am attending but not performing in a show or if I am going to a vintage-inspired party. I do full “burlesque makeup” when I am performing. You can see the difference below in my picture:

Bigger is better especially when it comes to false eyelashes. Falsies will actually help you create that double lid effect if you apply it as close to your eyelash line as possible. There is no secret trick on getting it on other than practice, practice, practice. I DO recommend using black lash glue instead of the clear one - because for our coloring, the dried black glue actually looks like a line of liquid eyeliner which enhances the dark color of our eyes. I use Duo in Dark tone:

There are a lot of false eyelashes out there. The ones you get at drug stores are fine for day wear, but for stage wear, I would get the longest length and double them up on top of each other. YES. It’s very common for burlesquers to “customize” their favorite pair of lashes by combining 2-4 pairs together, trimming the bits you like and pasting them together.

The Shanghai Pearl

My friend The Shanghai Pearl (Seattle) wears these lashes that she adhered tiny little Swarvoski crystals on the ends. For her burlesque makeup routine:

"I tend to draw on a dramatic and thick wingtip with liquid eyeliner. I prefer the ones with the softer brushtip with inkpot over the stiffer 'pen' types, like Almay Amazing Eyeliner. I've also used gel eyeliner with a nice brush, I liked that as well."

I do NOT recommend Asian eyes to use the false eyelashes with long, droopy ends. This will drag our already smaller eyes down and make you look "sad". Like these feathery ones:

I recommend getting ones that sweep UP and OUT on the corners like these:

Another tip World Famous Bob taught us in her class was that once you put the glue on the lashes, leave it alone for at least 5 minutes for the glue to dry before sticking them on your eyes! This has proven invaluable. It makes the application process SO much easier when the glue is tacky than wet. I apply the glue on the lashes while I’m doing foundation and primer on my face, then by the time I am done with my eyeshadow (always do your eye makeup first then lashes after), I put the lashes on. By then, they just stick on easy breezy. You will find that some of the heavier lashes once on will “force” your eyelid to crease - this is what happens to my eyes but I think it’s gravity that’s helping me have that double lid appearance. So now, eye makeup.

Liz at work on set with Gordon Ramsey

My friend Liz Yoon, a makeup artist in NYC who has worked for celebrities such as Michael Douglas, Rosario Dawson, Gordon Ramsey and for publications such as Marie Claire and Hall’s “Get Through the Season” advertisement campaign, says:

One can create an illusion of a crease with a shadow that is a shade or two darker than your skin tone. First you should always apply primer, especially for "show" makeup because then the makeup will stay put and increase its longevity.

Then you gently sweep a light neutral color over your eyelid up to your brow bone followed by using the darker shadow in your crease. The trick to blend, blend, blend, until it looks seamless. To finish this look you can apply a lighter color on your brow bone so it will give your eyes depth. For more intensity, like performing in shows, you can use darker colors.

I also recommend getting a set of good makeup brushes for your eye makeup application process. Invest in a set of decent quality ones, not the drug store types. I wash my brushes every 2 weeks with warm water and gentle soap, and they do not shed or lose their integrity. I start off using a dark color as Liz describes along the top lash line and moving outward with a slight sweep up to create a longer eye. Then I use a color that matches my costume (deep plum, turquoise blue, pinks, golds, bronze) and layer that along the top of the dark base color. I find blending is most effective when I use my finger tips. I blend the two colors gently together in the area where they overlap and finish off with a light color (shimmery white or shimmery nude) along the top brow bone (the bottom part of your eyebrows).

Tina Turnbow

I also asked my friend Tina Turnbow, who is a well-known celebrity makeup artist and also the beauty blogger for The New York Times, on her professional tip for Asian women who want to create a rounder eye effect:

For bigger eyes its all about subtle shading. Lighter shades graduating into deeper shades to create an almond or rounder shape. A smokey eye that starts darkest around the lash-line and then gradually diffuses up and out, can make the eye appear bigger. Use single lashes at outer corners of the eye, for a wider eye. Make sure your eyebrows are shaped well to give the eye an instant lift.

I can not emphasize the importance of shading and shaping your eyebrows! No one should be going for that thin, over plucked eyebrow shape anymore unless you are trying to achieve a vintage, old Hollywood glamour look like Greta Garbo who is famously known for her expressive thin arches.

Greta Garbo (L), Marlene Dietrich (R)

I think thicker eyebrows frame one’s eyes and face better, and they can make Asian eyes look more intense. I’ve gone through a thin eyebrow phase and in every picture I saw, I looked perpetually surprised AND I thought they made my eyes look squinty. For shows, I use a thin brush and dab a little bit of black/dark brown eyeshadow and drag the brush carefully through my eyebrows - and I ALWAYS extend the ends. In Liz’s list of simple eye makeup tricks she also emphasizes the importance of brows:

Definitely fill/define your brows because your brows frame your face! I find that less is more on Asian women. Eyeliner does wonders, up and outward to open up the eyes.

Lastly Liz gives her top four tips:

1. Instead of rimming your eyes with dark eyeliner, use a light color and rim the bottom of your eyes
2. Curling your lashes instantly opens up your eyes (for more info on what kind of mascara to use to make the most of short, spare Asian eyelashes read my previous post "Eyelash Deficiency & Mascaras")
3. Using eyeliner
4. Fill/Define your brows

Shanghai also "keep it pretty classic and retro. The bigger eye thing for me is a necessity for stage. After I draw my wingtip I set my lashes a little bit above my natural lashes and line the bottom of my eyes with a white kohl."

The last stop for my burlesque makeup transformation is the tell-tale, ultimate symbol of a burlesque performer - glittery red lips!

Women ask me all the time how to get that effect and the answer is quite simple. Cosmetic glitter. I’ve written about this on my blog before which you can read about more here.

Tina, who often surprises me with her generosity with bags of top quality cosmetics, will include various types of red lipsticks for me to try. She says:

A true red lip color is always striking. For a more nude lip, try one with more yellow under-tones to blend in with your skin. Or if your lips have a good deal of pink in them naturally, just pump that up with a plum lip stain.

The most recent color that I was introduced to via Tina is Buxom Big & Healthy Lip Tarnish in Busted. This lipstick comes with a sharper attached and because it is shaped like a big marker, you can apply it easily. It stays on for a long time as well and it is really my favorite shade of red. Shanghai agrees that finding the right shade of red is critical in achieving a polished look. "My staples are a good red lipstick and a wingtip. Fancy foundation I love is Dior Skin Forever and drugstore foundation I like L'Oreal True Match," she adds.

I hope this has solved some mysteries about the trickiness of doing makeup on Asian eyes. As Liz says, "If you look at most Asian eyes, we don't have as much eye area as Western eyes to play with. Many Asians go through cosmetic surgery and spend a lot of money with the possibility of it coming out right. Eyelids are a very delicate area to tamper with, if the surgery goes awry or happens to heal incorrectly etc, it's irreversible."

I am envious of teenage girls growing up nowadays because when I was growing up, YM Magazine and Seventeen Magazine never talked about how to do makeup on other eye shapes. Sometimes they might mention Latin skin, but it was predominantly all Caucasian models and tips for fair skin and Western eyes. If I had YouTube and the Internet as an invaluable research too back then, I wouldn't have made my mistake of walking around with big patches of frosty eyeshadow in the most horrible shade of blue!

Advice for New Performers

2011-10-25T14:42:00.004-04:00

My first kittening gig at Duane Park. Taken by Jo Weldon, Headmistress of the School of Burlesque in NYC.

The picture you see above is taken at my first stage kittening gig ever in NYC. I had just finished taking a month long course at Jo Weldon's School of Burlesque during, what I call, "The Winter of My Liberation". It was a cold, cold winter and I had broken up with someone whose name I can't even remember now (lol), so I decided to finally take action and pursue my irrepressible burlesque curiosity. Why not? I thought to myself as I perused the school's web site. Nobody can mind your bizniz when you're single and you don't have to explain nothin' to nobody! So I clicked on the submit button and started a whole new career I never thought could be mine.

A few new performers have emailed me from my Facebook account and from this blog asking for advice on how to get started on their budding burlesque career. This is definitely something I could have used more when I was starting out. If I went back in time and gave newbie me advice, I would offer the following:

1. Kittening is invaluable. That is where you are introduced to the community, to producers, seasoned performers, and other good people to know. It is also where I learned how other people produce a show from how to put things together, how to negotiate with the venue, things that you need, all the various details that make a show run smoothly. I kittened for over a year before transitioning out of kittening as a performer. Stage kittening is not a lucrative, stand around look pretty, and get drunk gig. Stage kittens get more stage time on stage than performers, they are also the direct link to the stage for performers, and they are the ones who will retrieve all the precious costume pieces back successfully. One trick I used to have when kittening longer, complicated shows is to ask each performer how many costume pieces they will discard on stage and match those numbers up. Often you are retrieving thongs and panties from dark corners so having a number to tally up for each performer really helped. I've never had a kitten lose a piece of costume until recently and it's a performer's worst heartbreak - losing an important costume piece that sometimes is impossible to recreate.

Lefty Lucy, co-producer of Drive-Thru Burlesque, founding member of StoryBook Burlesque, AND Miss Coney Island 2011, also had this to say about the value of kittening:

Stage kittening is awesome! Some people have attitude about it, but it's a wonderful way to get paid to go see a show you would have seen anyway, plus you get to hang out with the performers backstage, and your name will be in the promo material so that other performers start to hear about you more.

2. Go see the shows you want to be in. One of my biggest pet peeves is getting booking inquiries from people who have never been to any of my shows. All four of my shows vary tremendously in style and what kind of acts I can and can not book. This may be surprising to many people, but I work very hard at my relationships with the venues I work with and I book to their preference. For instance, I will never book a bloody neo-act at Hotel Chantelle's Friday night show but I will book that kind of act for Nurse Bettie on Thursdays and at Beatles Burlesque. So when someone emails me and asks to be booked at Nurse Bettie for their act that has a gigantic costume, I won't even reply because if they had taken the time to come to Nurse Bettie, they would know there is no room whatsoever for a big costume on stage or off stage.

Honi Harlow, producer and host of the Wednesday night show at Nurse Bettie and "Harlow's Hideaway" at Ella Lounge said:

It definitely helps when looking for new performers if I have meet you, and you have seen the show, the space, the vibe ect.

Jo Weldon, who is many of our "first encounter" (haha), suggests:

The best way to learn about burlesque and network in the burlesque world is to just go to shows and say hello to people. Many of my students have made friends in classes and at showcases and have gone on to produce shows or create troupes with those friends.

Be willing to intern on shows in other ways than as a performer. Kitten, go-go dance, help with merch and the door. You'll learn a lot really fast.

Depending on how much free time and money one has in the "fun fund", going to see shows is the best way to introduce yourself to the producers. For me personally meeting someone in person will cement their names and personality in my mind more so than a Facebook "poke", know what I mean? When I first started I made a list of shows I would like to perform in and just went down the list one by one. You have to remember also that many producers (not all, some like to book the same regular performers again and again) like to book new people. New performers often bring their friends to their debut which means a bigger house which means more financial gain for everyone in the show.

Sizzle Dizzle, co-producer of Drive Thru Burlesque, agrees by saying:

Go see shows! We love seeing burly-q peeps out in the audience- the sense of community is so refreshing. Introduce yourself to the producer(s) and let them know you're interested in performing. We love new blood!

3. Have proper backstage behavior. I've been lucky to have worked with performers and aspiring performers alike who have not been divas or nuisance backstage. I have heard stories however and have witness things going awry backstage. There has been plenty of times when someone is just a little too crazy, chatty, or off their rockers before and during a show - that kind of hectic energy is NOT appreciated or constructive to everyone's headspace at a show. It is NOT cute. Not cool. And NOT fabulous. I understand the excitement of working behind-the-scenes and meeting legends like World Famous Bob, Angie Pontani, Murray Hill or any of the performers one have admired from afar and now they are right in front of you. But you have to remember that this is a show and everyone is trying to bring their A-game, run through their acts, and get themselves organized. Producers usually have all of that to keep track of on top of all the other details of running the show. So offer your availability to help if they need anything, be alert and helpful, and stay out of people's way. Don't monopolize people's time backstage with endless chatter about your day, your love life, what you had for lunch - unless someone is starting the conversation and wants to chit chat with you.

A lot of backstage behavior is common sense. Observe and learn. Another interesting point that Jo mentioned that I didn't think of before is how to present yourself in front of seasoned performers. Jo adds:

Remember that they love that you love burlesque, but if you come across as too ambitious they may be uncomfortable. It may seem to you like they have burlesque on a silver platter, but everybody has to work hard to get gigs, so respect that they don't have it as easy as it may appear.

The bubbling enthusiasm of a new performer who wants to discuss her acts and ideas can sometimes be misconstrued. It's important to frame yourself in a constructive manner. Here's an example:

Bad: "OMG, I have this act where I'm wearing (fill in the blank) and I do (fill in the blank), then in the end I (fill in the blank). Isn't it awesome? I have never seen ANYONE do anything like my idea. I really think I will go far in burlesque!"

Better Way of Phrasing: "I am working on a new act that involves me doing (fill in the blank) - what do you think?"

Jo offers the following suggestion:

Get to know several experienced performers and ask them what they love to see new performers do. What they hate to see new performers do sometimes has something to do with personal issues, so frame it positively — ask them what they'd like to see and consider whether those are things that help you do what you want to do with burlesque.

In Jo's "The Burlesque Handbook" she dedicates a chapter on backstage etiquette. This is an absolute must-read. You can read some of the highlights from this chapter at her website at http://www.schoolofburlesque.com/theburlesquehandbook/excerpt.shtml

Kittening for one of Jo's shows in Coney Island. I was a BAD maid who kept stealing other people's costumes!

4. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. My last piece of advice is to stop comparing yourself to other performers. This is applicable in all aspects of life, not just in burlesque. It's human to compare oneself to others and gauge how successful or not successful you are. But the danger is when you become angry and jealousy rears its ugly head. I've seen this happen several times in burlesque friendships. There is constructive comparison where you see something amazing and you go, "I wonder how I can elevate my act so that it's on the same level of BAM as so-and-so's act" - and I don't mean copying someone's choreography or costuming ideas. Ask yourself what makes that particular act so amazing: is it the performer's commitment to the persona? Is it the music choice? Often it is just experience and who they are that makes their act amazing. Constructive comparison also includes, "What are they doing differently that I'm not?" Perhaps that performer spends more time networking or use her nights off taking sewing or dance classes to help her create better costumes or enhance her stage presence. It could be anything. There's just no way to know scientifically or objectively. Our business is based on personal preferences stemmed from individual personal histories that have been influenced by a gazillion things. Going down the path of negative comparison and asking "Why did so-and-so get this and not me?" only breeds paranoia.

In my most defeated hour (I was this close in quitting burlesque completely in the beginning after experiencing a few rejections), I caught myself doing the "destructive comparison" - the "why her and not me" - which didn't lead to anything pro-active or made myself feel better about anything. So I sat down and took a hard, honest look and realized that I wasn't developing acts I was completely committed to. They just weren't "me".

And on this point, Vivienne Vermouth, burlesque performer and producer of Broads & Panties in my hometown Dallas, Texas and also a crazy talented makeup artist, advices:

Find the niche of burlesque that speaks to you (classic, neo, horror, etc) and really ponder, write out, and create stories to tell on stage. If you put your heart and soul into a routine, it shows, and your passion will get you booked. It also helps to go to area shows, be a supporting patron, and chat up the producers. Offer to help on a show, learn the ropes and you'll soon be in like flynt!

It may also help to take other classes to help you expand and figure things out. Jo also advices performers to take dance and theater classes as well as burlesque classes to help one grow and be inspired via other mediums.

Juliet Jeske, a chameleon hostess who used to produce Wham, Bam, Slam and a baker extraordinaire, says:

I always recommend interested performers should take classes at the NY School of Burlesque, because with a few exceptions, the quality of the performers who have taken classes is much better. I also recommend Jo Weldon's Burlesque handbook as she gives excellent technical advice and performance etiquette. Usually but not always, a trained performer is a better performer.

5. Following Up & Promoting. So now what? You've gone and introduced yourself to the producers you want to work with, you've debuted a few time, but the bookings are still hard to come by. Here's another tip I've learned from my day career. After meeting the producer don't be afraid to send a follow-up email (just like after a job interview) and offer your availability as a kitten, gogo, or door girl, and if you have video clips of your acts, send that along with a description of what your act is. This makes the booking part of the job much easier when there are pictures and video clips to look at. I never book anyone who I have never seen perform AND doesn't have video clips to show me. Video clips can tell me a lot about a performer's ability, control, and presence on stage. Unless they are a veteran of the performance world, then obviously I won't need to see a clip. This is why I created the "sacrificial lamb" position in all my shows. It's an unpaid slot for newer performers who I haven't seen live. A way for me to get to know their style, what they are like backstage, and their acts. I appeciate all the invitation to see new performers' shows but between 2 weekly shows and 2 monthly shows on top of other people's shows that I perform in, I simply do not have the time.

Then if you are booked for a show - PROMOTE, PROMOTE, PROMOTE! I can not say this enough and how much it makes someone stand out in my mind when they use their social media platforms smartly and push the show. As a producer this means extra to me and it shows you are computer savvy and know a thing or two about creating a buzz and fan base for yourself. (Updated: The owner of Nurse Bettie have actually just given the directive not to book performers who do not promote their booking from hence forth.) So you see, you can't just expect to show up and not promote your own show. Even Dita von Teese is super active in Twittering her tours, her brand lines, perfume, sweaters, lingerie. And Mila Jovovich too! She's constantly twittering about the film she is working on and other projects. So unless you think you are bigger than Dita or Milla, promote the event you are booked in. Start collecting emails of fans who talk to you. Send your email blasts and updates to NON-PERFORMERS. You need to target civilians who attend the show and NOT performers. I get performer updates all the time and why? I have no idea. I know who they are, and I know what they do. I don't need to know where they are performing in the month. Civilians are your fans!

Lastly, I keep in mind this little mantra all my life: Everyone has a path they are destined to be on. Don't be distracted by what's happening on other people's paths. Stay focused and work hard on yours and good things will happen.

I have also learned from my decade long designer day career that when clients don't pick my design direction it isn't personal. Some clients want a conservative blue/beige palette with a giant logo. 90% of the time it has nothing to do with the actual design aesthetic. Like the world of acting, people are cast based on their face, body types, voice, race - many things that you can't change or control which is probably why many actors are crazy and paranoid. There is almost no objectivity so you have to really watch yourself. In burlesque it is the same. Some people get booked for certain gigs because the promoters want a certain look, or frankly, they just like them better. I get booked for some gigs and not others. I don't take it personally. I'm preaching the uneasy truth, but one must try not to internalize these things. One person doesn't like you, another will. Like me, Rice University rejected me for undergrad but Cornell University accepted me. And that led me to be in NYC for the rest of my adult life. Showbiz is probably not for you if you continually feel hurt and defeated. If it's driving you crazy not knowing, you can always politely and genuinely ask the producer for constructive criticism on how to make an act more suitable for the show you want to be in.

"Drunken Dragon Nights" Oct 24 & "Drinks & Inks" Oct 25

2011-10-12T00:47:00.002-04:00

Please note that both events have strict RSVPs. If you plan to attend and I hope you do cause both are going to be very popular, please RSVP ASAP. I love you all, but I can't get everyone in if you don't click that little email button and hit send. Cheerio!

It's back!!

I will be performing along with Gal Friday & Hazel Honeysuckle. Kittening by Sydney Sunrise.

The Dirty Rice in the Dirty South

2011-09-26T23:23:00.001-04:00

I was in New Orleans to perform in the 3rd Annual New Orleans Burlesque Festival a couple of weeks ago. I was in the Friday night "Bad Girls of Burlesque" show at the House of Blues. Not only did I met amazingly talented women and men alike but I got to experience the city of New Orleans for the first time! There were things I loved and not loved about this infamous city. I loved the charming architecture, the enchanting history and music culture, and the rich air that was palpable with folklore and mystery the minute you set foot in the French Quarter. As soon as my boyfriend and I checked in the Westin (the official festival hotel) we dumped our bags and went exploring. Naturally, the first stop was where all the strip bars were on Bourbon Street!

Strip clubs on Bourbon Street!

There were some skeevy men hanging out in front of every strip club but I did enjoy oogling the black girls in metallic bikinis doing their New Orleans "bounce". Bounce describes a popular dance trend and a type of party where all the girls bounce their booty up and down and all over the place making it all jiggly. The music usually goes something like this, "Make the booty bounce, make the booty bounce, Make the booty bounce!" and "Up, down, up, down, up, down!"

Obviously I could never master the bounce cause I have flat Asian booty as seen here which is all the more reason why I love watching other performers do butt tricks. The two NYC performers who in my humble opinion are the reigning booty-queens are Gal Friday and Peekaboo Pointe. It's hypnotizing to watch them shake their booty. It just reverberates like an earthquake in my eyeballs and I can't look away!

So after quickly experiencing the drunken fraternity atrocity that is Bourbon Street we made our way to Cafe Amelie where I had the best shrimp and grits and crabcakes I've ever eaten! This was just the beginning of me saying "the best (fill in the blank) I've ever eaten" for the rest of the week. Sure enough the next night, Thursday, we went to the famous Vaughn's Lounge where Kermit Ruffins have played for over ten years! Kermit is famous for being a jazz musician, a chef, and a regular on HBO's show Treme. Everyone I talked to knew who he was. That night was an extra special night because Kermit was cooking for everyone and playing with his brass band. HBO and FoodTV were there to film the line of people queuing up for his food. I was so glad that Armitage Shanks (from Seattle who was also the MC for my show on Friday night) told me about it and Peekaboo Pointe went with us that night. Kermit made dirty rice and beans, grilled some crazy delicious andouille sausage, salmon, sweet potato, and Peekaboo's favorite, grilled quail! I was to find out more about Peek's bold culinary tastes on this trip too...

Peekaboo Pointe & I at Vaughns Lounge

After seeing Kermit play we went to the 2nd after-party that Rick Delaup (producer of the NOBF) organized for all the performers. We also went to the Wednesday night party in his suite at the Westin, and like the Thursday night party at Broussard's, it was a very fun and open bar event. The Wednesday night one was actually curtailed because hotel guests complained about the noise we were making.

Thursday After Party at Broussards with Lou Lou D'vil, Bettina May, Mina Mechante, Deidre Doll, Charlotte Treuse

What I liked most about these parties is meeting in person people I know from Facebook. For instance I finally got to meet met Burgundy Brixx from Vancouver. She produces Kitty Nights there and I've heard so much about her through Fem Appeal. I also met Betsy Bottomdollar from Victoria (also in Canada) and she is SO fun and a total riot! We all went to the Carousel Bar in Hotel Monteleon after Broussards where the bar rotates ever....so......slowly...... while you sip away at your cocktail. There was a vampire convention at the Monteleon so it was really funny to see all these "vampiric" Twilight-to-be's hanging out at the bar drinking. Betsy said that these "vampires" have a system of gestural language to communicate amongst each other. For instance, if you cross your arms and put them across your chest, it means you are "invisible". If you raise your arms above your head, it means you've transformed into a werewolf! Hahahahahahahahah. I can't wait to be "invisible" next time I rob a bank or don't pick up Chewie's poop on the street.

Me and Betsy Bottomdollar

Friday was my show day and I usually take it pretty easy so we didn't go walking around for hours in the New Orleans sun. I went to tech/sound check at The House of Blues in the afternooon, and I was very impressed with how organized, on time, professional and nice everyone were.

Show Setlist for "Bad Girls of Burlesque"!

Everything from day one has been running like a well-oiled machine and that's major kudos to Rick Delaup. It's a three day festival with a lot of people coming from all over the place. The show was beautiful and I met even MORE women backstage. There were hot food provided for us too. Rice and beans and grilled chicken. My favorite combination. Gimme a bit of Tabasco, I can eat this every day!

Here are some of my favorite photos from the "Bad Girls" show and Saturday night's "Queen of Burlesque" show.

Iva Handful, sodomizer of fan dance

Medianoche who competed in Saturday night's Queen of Burlesque

With Angi Bee-Lovely from Dallas. She does beautiful aerial work!

I would have spraypainted this plastic astronaut helmet silver and developed an act to "Space Oddity" by David Bowie

Saturday was my official day off! We spent the day walking up and down Magazine Street shopping and had brunch at Slim Goodies Diner. There were great vintage shopping and I almost bought this astronaut helmet. I didn't because I still had to go to Dallas, Texas after New Orleans plus my fans to carry...USAirways charged $25 per luggage! And you know what all airlines now charge to travel with an in-cabin pet? $125 EACH WAY!!! It's totally fucked up. It used to be $80 each way for Chewie, but every year, they unreasonably raise the price for carrying a pet who doesn't even sit in a chair so they are NOT taking up extra room other than the pet owner having to share their feet space. On top of that, you can't use your miles to pay for your pet. It's totally a greedy way for the airlines to make more money. Traveling nowadays is definitely NOT fun or glamorous like the show Pan Am...it's just stress and sheer boredom and annoying strange men trying to strike up conversations with you even after you make a big show of putting on your headphones.

We also took the tram on Saturday after stumbling around Magazine Street and going into Commander's Palace in our shorts (ooops). They were in-between brunch and dinner so Michael took some impromptu "hair" photos across the street in front of Lafayette Cementery. He took quite a few great shots that I love on the street, not "burlesquey" pictures but regular, more fashion-inspired shots since that is his day job and background. You can see them here on my Facebook page.

Some fun outtakes

Earlier I mentioned how enchanted I was with the architecture in New Orleans. It seemed like every porch and every corner house with open balcony windows beckoned to me to leave NYC and come spend balmy nights sipping a chilled Sazerac on the porch with perhaps a vintage palm-leafed fan lazily spinning on the ceiling...aaah. We even looked at some real estate rental listings and talked to a couple friendly locals on the street who gave us some pointers. It's a lot cheaper to live in NO, obviously it's a lot cheaper to live anywhere other than NYC! I just realized during this trip to the south that I've been in New York since 1998 - that's 13 grubby years! These thoughts and more have become more frequent the last 5 years. Thoughts about leaving NY, where to go, why to go... these beautiful buildings in their silent majesty and power can evoke strong feelings of longing for something unknown... New Orleans is indeed magical in this sense.

Sunday was our last day in NO. We went back to Mothers which was just down the street cause I become obsessed with their crawfish etouffe. It was the best thing I've ever eaten! We also discovered a casual, cheap taqueria called Felipe by the hotel that was surprisingly delicious! We went there almost every day for their fish tacos that were $1.85 a piece and seasoned so perfectly. We also went on the free cocktail tour that Rick had so kindly organized for out-of-towners given by the very knowledgeable and fun Brian Huff. He took us to 4 different places: Sylvaine (I had a Moscow Mule), Pirates Alley Cat Cafe (I drank Absinthe but couldn't finish it...hate the taste), Court of Two Sisters (Pimms Cup), and the last stop was Arnaud's where I had the French75. Peekaboo met us here at the end of the tour, ravenous. We all ordered nibbles to eat and she ordered turtle soup! I was impressed that a white girl was ordering like a Chinese person, a turtle soup! Holy reptiles. Arnaud's was most interesting because of the rich family history that is full of twists and turns. The daughter of Arnaud, Germaine, was a notorious figure among many other things. The restaurant has a non-publicized mardi gras museum upstairs displaying several of Germaine's opulent mardi gras gowns from decades past. This was an amazing spectacle and I'm so glad Jo Boobs told me to check it out. Besides the amazing craftsmanship and devotion to the annual event, the museum is supposedly HAUNTED! If you see unexplained reflections in these photos that's probably why...

In my zeal for haunted history I convinced Betsy and Paul, Lucy Sky Diamond, and Peekaboo Pointe to go on a haunted tour called "Ghosts & Vampires" with me Sunday night. Our tour guide was a kooky old lady who was very...animated. I felt bad that I made everyone spend $20 on a tour that was not what we expected. We were expecting more of a historical fact tour about locations, buildings, and landmarks. Not a comedic re-enactment full of ghost noises. It would have been perfect for a younger group, just not for us. But - she did take us in front of a building where a ghost named "Julie" haunts the roof where she froze to death trying to prove her love to her lover. She said that by the fourth shot on an automatic camera you will get light globes and sure enough, three people in our group of about 15 captures light globes in their photos of all different sizes and locations. That was pretty scary and that wrapped up my trip!

The next morning Michael went back to NYC and I went to Dallas. I was booked to perform in Vivienne Vermouth's show "The Orient Express" at The Bone in Deep Ellum that week, and it was something I was really looking forward to. Three of my high school friends came with 3-4 of their friends. My brother and sister-in-law came with 4 of their friends. My mom and my aunt came. And an old childhood friend came with her husband. It was an amazing night and my first time performing in Texas! I made my brother go out to smoke a cigarette when I performed, and he did! Haha. I met several people including the beautiful pin-up model Angela Ryan who I met last year in NYC when she came to my Thursday show at Nurse Bettie. Here are some of my favorite pictures from the show. That's the end of this posting! Now that I've taken off TWO whole months from my day job, the job that pays for my rent and my rhinestones, I am going to buckle down for the fall/winter and save some money!

Steve McQueen talks about SHAME at Toronto International Film Festival 2011

2011-09-14T02:57:00.000-04:00

Remember when I went in to do the threesome scene with Michael Fassbender with my friend DeeDeeLuxe in that film SHAME by British director Steve McQueen? Well, the film got picked up by FoxSearchlight for US distribution at the Toronto Film Festival this weekend which bodes only one thing in film language = Oscar run 2011! Not only that by Fassbender won Best Actor at the Venice Film Festival the weekend prior too. The film is coming to the New York Film Festival 2011 on October 7 and 9th at Lincoln Center and believe you me, DeeDee and I are planning a big night out of this screening. My friend Minx in Toronto has already seen the film as well as my tweeter friend @MFOnline - and both have given me the same reaction "powerful" "intense" "beautifully shot" - so I'm really excited to see what Steve has done with our scene. I heard there were a lot of soft focus and bouncing. DeeDee and I are credited as "Late Night Lover #1" and "Late Night Lover #2". It seems like SHAME is the most controversial and highly regarded film to be out in the festival season this year, and here's a clip of Steve talking about the film at TIFF Q&A this weekend. Jump to 17:53 to hear a nice little shout out to us from Steve himself!

Fassbender portrays sex addict in new film 'Shame'

Toronto International Film Festival 2011 | CTV.ca Fassbender portrays sex addict in new film 'Shame'

My Episode on Oddities!

2011-09-13T16:18:00.000-04:00

Did I mention that I haven't had TV in my house for 6 years until recently? Now I have cable TV but I still don't watch it regularly. I like watching movies off of NetFlix and there are some sitcoms that I like. One of which is the show Oddities on Discovery Channel or Science Channel. The show is about the antique shop Obscura in the East Village of Manhattan in NYC and the various objects they sell and the eccentric people that come through the shop in their search for... well, oddities. The show had me hooked from the first time I laid eyes on it. I have been inside Obscura many years ago. They've been in the East Village for years. So now I'll be on the show! This week I went for my call time and filmed my segment. I can't divulge what the object that I bought is until the episode airs (sometime in Nov/Dec) but I can say that it was very fun working with the small, tight knit camera crew, and it was really fun to talk to Mike and Evan, the owners of the shop. Turns out that Evan used to play in the alt rock band at Mother's "Click & Drag" parties!! Yes, I've been in NYC for over ten years and I'm referencing a defunct club. Anyway, "Click & Drag" was a cyber-fetish party. This was in the haydays of dotcom craziness when films such as Synthetic Pleasures I and II were big deals. Evan was in the house band. So cool! I also saw a newspaper clipping of Evan from 20008 in NYTimes' style section for a gothic ball party she attended. She's a fucking cool ass lady! My episode has to do with the scar on my stomach and the surgery. The object they found for me is related to the abdomen. When I first saw it, I was like, "What the hell is this thing?" It looked like something from a Victorian insane asylum. That's all I'm gonna say! You'll have to watch the episode when it airs!

Not used to getting up so early... coffee first

Doing the on-the-street interviews

Outside the shop

Evan and I

Here's a clip from another episode to give you a sense of how awesome this show is:

<br><br>II
PS: This reminds me of an old show called "Friday the 13th" starring a redheaded actress named Robie. The show was also about an antique shop that burned down or something and all the objects were cursed and let out to the world. So the three main characters' job were to find these objects again. I used to watch it all the time. I loved it.

Performing for Brooke Shields & the Cast of Addams Family

2011-09-01T13:00:00.000-04:00

The Maine Attraction, Brooke, me

I am so proud of myself! Not because I had the opportunity to organize and perform in a private show for the beautiful and super-accomplished Brooke Shields and the cast of The Addams Family (currently on broadway), but because I successfully kept it a secret! We were all under agreement to keep things private so that she could enjoy a night out on the town with her cast members without dealing with paparazzi.

We closed down Nurse Bettie for them and there were trays and trays of delicious Taiwanese baos from Bao Haus. Everyone started arriving around 1130pm and we started the show at midnight with a beaming Brooke sitting right in the front. Brooke asked for a classics-only show so we only did the best, most glamorous and fantastical costumes. Medianoche did her honeysuckle, floral act. Maine Attraction did her famous Sing, Sing, Sing number while Tansy did her comedic Snow White rendition. Bettina May did a classic green gown strip, Broadway Brassy sang 2 songs, and I did my red Dusk Til Dawn fan dance. They were a fantastic audience - totally into everything and needless to say, smart about the theater performance experience. Brooke is so nice and gracious and has a wicked sense of humour. It makes me so happy when I meet a celebrity and they are actually like-able! I had the displeasure of sitting next to Emily Haines from indie band Metric once at a local cafe, and I am (or was, I should say) the BIGGEST Metric fan. I saw them twice in NYC and once in Seattle. But she was SO annoying - and it was obvious that the guy she was with was just completely stricken with her and she knew it too. Her conversation consisted entirely of herself, on and on about the most trivial things that this guy unfortunately licked up every single word like she was preachin the gospel truth or something! To make it worse, the guy sitting next to them on the other side got sucked into her vortex too so her ego trippin became worse! Ever since then, I stopped listening to Metric.

Anyway so Brooke was not like that at all. She's genuine and very much a cool, down to earth person. Considering that she's been famous since she was 10 years old, take a lesson from her Emily Haines and other egotistical, talk-about-oneself all the time, budding performers/entertainers! During the dance-off competition, two of her cast members came up and one girl busted out the worm on the floor! Holy insects, I've never seen that move done at NB ever! It was an amazing night. Thanks to Tina Turnbow who created the opportunity for the performers and the venue, I was so happy that I got a chance to entertain someone who entertained me growing up.

Roger Rees (Gomez)

Bettina May, Brooke, Medianoche

To Drag or Not to Drag

2011-08-25T16:37:00.000-04:00

A couple of my fans have asked me if I ever do drag which got me thinking, "Why don't I have any drag acts?" By "drag", Susan Sontag's theories on camp and convoluted academic theories aside, the street definition simply means dressing up as the opposite sex. There are quite a few burlesque performers who have drag acts dressed as a man. Drag done well is a transformation that I enjoy watching on stage. I admire it but I don't think I can or would ever be able to pull it off. I am too attached to my long hair to cut it, shave it, or wig it short. My figure is also too curve-y (34-27-34) to pull off the androgynous look that performers like Stormy Leather do so very well. But most importantly I would not feel pretty or powerful as a man or even dressed as a man in costume. When I was five years old, my family went away camping somewhere for the weekend and I didn't have enough underwear to wear. So my mom made me wear a pair of clean boy underwear that belonged to my older brother. I was mortified and felt so gross and not myself the whole day. I also had a really short hair cut as a child and for some reason I wanted to get a perm (I also insisted on owning a pair of white cowboy boots too). My mom obliged me but I ended up with a tight 'fro and whenever we went to the market, noisey vendors asked me if I was a boy or a girl! I wasn't a total girlie girl as a child and I was pretty hyperactive and bold. But I definitely resented being mistaken for a boy. I felt so embarrassed and couldn't wait for the perm to go away and my hair to grow long again. So why do other performers don drag with such aplomb and panache when I can't even imagine it? I asked some of my performer friends on their take, and I was surprised to find that most performers have quite the opposite reaction than I have.

Stormy Leather (below) who, in my opinion, does amazing drag has quite a few acts that either touch on her bisexuality or exist in the realm of role-play. In "I'm Your Man" (Leonard Cohen), "I hand out roses and strip out of my suit to reveal my breasts wrapped and men's undergarments. And then I take a lady by the hand, twirl and dip her, and then lay a big kiss on her." She poignantly adds that this act is "a tribute to my bisexuality and the way I feel about women sometimes. That if I could be your man, I would. I really really would."

In "Daddy's Home", a controversial act that Stormy only performs at The Box, she starts out as a convincing looking man and end up as a broken woman who "puts a condom on a gun and aims it at her vagina." It's a piece created under The Box's creative direction and "many people I know have differing views on this piece. While some see it as a story about identity confusion or penis envy, others have been quite offended." But in the end, Stormy says, it's an act "about being unhappy with who you are." And that is relate-able on an universal level, how the trappings of gender, sexuality, and identity can succeed or fail to define who we are.

StormyLeatherNYC.com

One of the things I admire about Stormy doing drag acts is the confidence she exudes as a pretend-man. She walks different, stands differently, and as she says, "When I dress in drag everything about me changes. My walk, the way I stand, how I smoke a cigarette, how I talk to women or men." One can see that transformation in her performance and I also think that her lithe physique goes a long way in being convincing. Ironically, her svelte figure (all muscle, no fat, all angles and lean lines) is what gay men are envious of, straight men obsessed with (I've witnessed it), and straight and gay women admire sometimes makes her feel self-conscious when she is not in drag. "When I'm in drag, I'm less self conscious about what my body looks like when I'm stripping. I'm not worried about looking too skinny or missing a spot with the moisturizer. I don't have to wear makeup and I don't care what I look like without it when I'm a man."

StormyLeatherNYC.com

Another performer Strawberry Fields, who is on hiatus, used to do a drag act at the first show I ever produced called "Dim Sum Burlesque" in 2009. Her song of choice is "Glory Box" by Portishead. She describes her act as being inspired by the lyrics (Give me a reason to love you...give me a reason to be a woman...I just want to be a woman) which "conjured up the imagery of being a man - in man's clothing, facial hair, masculine stance... all of the armor of man... and little by little stripping that away...peeling those layers off...to reveal a hot sexy woman-goddess."

Strawberry Fields doing "Glory Box" at Dim Sum Burlesque, 2009

The word "armor" is an interesting choice of words. Whereas Stormy Leather revels in being a man for sexual-political reasons when she says, "As many women, even today I'm faced with the double standard between the sexes. And it drives me bat shit crazy. Sometimes I wonder how much more I could accomplish if I simply had that extra appendage. It is a little bit of penis envy for me I guess. Not that I want to really have one, but that I can see where it would be beneficial", Strawberry Fields has a spiritual explanation for how she feels when she is in drag. "It is empowering to act/feel/embody a man... the masculine energy I put out in drag is very different than my playful feminine energy... it feels very different... I tense my muscles in my arms, face, brow." Strawberry then adds that she does "imagine having a penis (a big dominating one) and it fuels a male confidence that feels completely different that my feminine goddess energy confidence."

The struggle of finding that mythical liminality state that encompasses both masculine and feminine is perhaps what motivates and inspires my fellow performers to do drag. I am less evolved in my exploration of sensuality than they are, because I can't embrace, or rather I refuse to investigate the masculine in me. If there is a masculine energy in me it must express itself in other facets of my life, perhaps through my ambition and ball-busting. On stage as a persona, I just can't muster it because I don't find myself "sexy" when I look man-ish, boy-ish, masculine. So what it comes down to, for me, at least, is that I perform for myself. I perform what I think is seductive, sexy, erotic - it is narcissistic but art is self-indulgent... at least I'm not writing an autobiography! Not yet, at least. Oh like having a blog is any better. :)

Echoing my sentiment is what performer Dame Cuchifrita says about why she does drag acts. "I also happen to believe when it comes to my personal view on what is sexy, it is always about attaining a balance between the male and female energy. Androgyny would be the ideal form of beauty in my eye. I don’t usually find anything that is too female or too male as sexy, but a combination of both when found in one person is utterly irresistible," she says. In her drag acts/personalities, she will often depict what she calls "warrior" qualities through figures such as a bullfighter, a Chinese emperor, Hitler to Galliano. I've worked with Dame a lot and I can attest to her penchant for dressing as a man. When we modeled for Dr. Sketchy's for "Peking Opera" she would not stop playing with and idolizing her fake beard! However her motivation is not trying to be convincing as a man (a big thing in drag culture achieving "realness") or to complete the transformation process. She revels in existing in that in-between space that I discussed earlier, straddling that strange and at times mesmerizing figure that appears female (she is also curve-y) but the movements and gestures suggest otherwise. When asked if she feels differently when she is in drag, she says, "In my spirit resides a warrior, strong male energy that I find very sexy when combined with my womanly figure. Perhaps because being physically big and strong is something I could never attain, therefore the yearning becomes almost erotic."

Dame Cuchifrita at Dr. Sketchy's. Photo by Justin Lussier.

Dame Cuchifrita (right). Photo by Adrian Buckmaster.

I thought it would be interesting to get the opinion from the opposite side and asked our Number One burlesque fan and supporter who everyone knows: Caprice Bellefleur. Caprice is a burlesque staple. You will often see her out in the audience dressed to the nines and sporting a short bob, sometimes it is blonde and lately it's been a black bob. She must be out every single night and she has probably attended every single regular burlesque show in NYC. She describes herself on her blog as "a 62 year old retiree enjoying life in the Big Apple. I'm a mixed-gender male-bodied person. This makes me a transgender person, trans for short. If you call me a crossdresser, I won't object, but crossdressing is just an activity I do to express part of my identity." I have never seen Caprice as non-Caprice and I honestly don't think I would recognize her as him. So why the crossdressing or "en femme"-ing? She started very young at the age of 9 trying on her sister's and mother's clothes. She recalls, "when I was in summer day camp at age 9, and they had 'Backwards Day.' Most of us just put on our camp T-shirts backwards, but one boy came in a dress. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I wanted to be wearing that dress so badly." The desire to express both masculine and feminine aspects of her personality amplified through the years until her 40s' when putting on one of two items in private no longer fulfilled and "the desire to be seen as a woman by others began to grow. By then the internet existed, and I began corresponding with other crossdressers. I bought more clothes, some make-up and jewelry, and the items I needed to give the appearance of having a female figure. On November 11, 1998 I bought a wig (I never had one before) and attended my first crossdressers' club meeting."

Reina Terror (left), Caprice (center), Bambi Galore (right) at Burlesque Hall of Fame 2011.

Women can often feel bolder and more confident when dressed as a man, so what does Caprice feel when presenting herself as a woman? Does she feel less ballsy (excuse the pun), soft-spoken, timid, or less confident? Interestingly she says, "I think I'm less shy when presenting as a woman. I don't know why. Is it because I'm hiding behind an alternate, invented identity, with an alternate appearance, that I can shed when it's convenient? I'll let the shrinks debate that."

Dances of Vice: Shanghai Foxtrot, Gettin "Gansta", Scary Natural Lighting

2011-08-01T12:22:00.005-04:00

Well, my parents were right yet again. There would come a time in my adult life when I "return" to my roots and embrace my Chinese background via the arts. They've been telling me this since I was a teenager growing up in Texas but I always pupu-plattered their notion in favor of Madonna, James Dean, River Phoenix, and going to the mall. Come on, it's Texas. It's the land of conformity and blonde, buxom cowgirl babes. A Chinese girl did not fit in. I was always extremely self-conscious when the family went out to eat at any non-Asian restaurants in Texas. And it didn't help that we would go to trucker diners off the side of the interstate highway cause that was what we could afford. We would be the only non-white people dining there, and I'm not being paranoid when I say there were sideways glances thrown our way many a times. They weren't hostile or anything, but it wasn't just benign curiosity either. Definitely not a friendly vibe. It trained us to speak Chinese quietly so we didn't garner any more unwanted attention to the fact that we were not like everyone else. Ninety percent of my friends from high school were Vietnamese. There is a huge Vietnamese population in DFW. Anyway not to be all Joy Luck Club-y, this was why I left Texas as soon as high school was over. So when my parents (one from a family of medicine and nursing background, and the other literature and Chinese history background) would predict my eventual return to my background, I naturally rejected them. Mind you, this is before every white guy wants to date an Asian. This was before YM Magazine gave you tips on what foundation color to use for any skin type past pale or dark. This was before feng shui is thrown around the household vocabulary. This was a time when the Wal-Mart intercom still announced, "Lost three year old Oriental Boy is looking for his mom". But this past weekend proved to me again that my parents know me better than I know myself.

Saturday night I performed for Shien Lee's Dances of Vice: Shanghai Foxtrot show at Le Poisson Rouge. Everyone knows who Shien is. If you don't, you can not call yourself a nightlife performer in NYC. She's one of the biggest party event promoters creating such magnificently themed parties such as Dada Revue, Tango del Diablo, Liberty Belle, Le Sacre du Printemps, the list goes on. Her events are widely covered by the press, and she was also voted as one of the Most Stylish New Yorkers by Time Out NY. Can you tell how much I admire her and her aesthetic vision yet? I was thrilled to be asked to be in her Shanghai Foxtrot show, because in the last couple of years, I've become obsessed with old Shanghai culture and with the history of early Chinese nightclub performers in San Francisco such as Noel Toy and other figures from the documentary "Forbidden City, USA". I already have a few burlesque acts to old Chinese and/or Japanese music from the 20s-40s so Shien's show was the perfect fit. I did one of my oldest acts, the black fan dance to the Japanese cover of "St. Louis Blues" and a newer act to "Quizas, Quizas, Quizas" from Wong Kar Wai's "In the Mood of Love" soundtrack. I also had the pleasure to meet Maggie Moon a superb tap dancer and a pair of very sexy and talented male tango dancers, Anton and Jody. Everyone were a pleasure to be around backstage and funny stories were shared. What I loved most about her show is that her fans make an effort to dress up according to the theme. Many people in the audience had on era-specific attire. Men had on tails, suspenders, hats. Women wore fascinators, jewels, gloves. One tall woman had on this gorgeous ivory-colored silk gown with her hair slicked back complete with dark eye-makeup and red lips. Even Caprice, our resident-in-house burlesque friend, who is usually a blonde had transformed her do to a short black bob. The lighting was beautiful creating an atmosphere that was worlds apart from the collegiate gibberish outside on Bleecker street. Shien's 6-piece band accompanied her as she sang two sets of Old Shanghai Chinese classics from 1920s, 30s and 40s. I own many of the original songs and I subject Michael to listening to them at home. Many of these songs I remember hearing at my grandparent's house in Taiwan. Some of them are just a lingering faint memory at the tip of your tongue. To hear these classics live and sung with skill, talent, and authentic gestures true to how the Chinese sirens of the time performed them was a truly transcendental and sublime experience. "Happy" is not enough. I was elated. You can find out more about Shien's Shanghai Foxtrot event and music at: http://www.myspace.com/shanghaifoxtrot.

If you interested in learning even more about early Chinese cabaret/burlesque performers in SF, check out Calvin Fong's incredible scrapbook here!

Sunday morning I had an early call time to be in a music video for Kyle Rapp's song with Talib Kweli. I wish I could tell you more, but I don't really know much more! The shoot was on the basketball courts near Pier i Cafe on 68th Street and Riverside. They wanted the gritty basketball court as background cause it looked gansta. Hahaha. Kyle casted for an Asian or Black burlesque dancer, and my friend Jewel Elizabeth recommended me. Kyle's goal is to cross-pollinate burlesque and hiphop. I brought a few options for his partner Megan to pick from. Megan is the bassist of the very popular all-girl tribute band Lez Zepplin There was no place to change so I borrowed the bike rental guy's trailer to change into a red corset ensemble. It was fun walking through the basketball courtyard in that outfit! I used my fans in the clip. The song is called "International Traveler" which will be out in a couple of months, I was told. I am #69. Be on the lookout!

I jettied home after the video shoot to meet Sara Howe, a British photographer who is in town working on a new series of burlesque performers at home. I met her through Joe the Shark who recommended me. I couldn't say no to her project because it was at home and I was already in costume and makeup. She's a tiny little thing. Very nice and easy to work with. We shot in the living room using natural light which was more intimidating for me. We shot my red Dusk til Dawn costume and my "Black Lodge" costume from Twin Peaks. It was terribly hot Sunday but Sara knocked it out like a pro.

I'm going to Toronto for the weekend + a few days and I'm so excited! Michael is taking me to Kitchener Blues Festival and show me around his hometown Toronto. I'll be meeting up with Minx Arcana and hopefully Chris Mysterion will have a show or two for me to check out while I'm up in the great north. I can't wait to have this little break...

Tonight I'm at Mary Cyn's "Original Cyn" Show at Lucky13 Saloon in Park Slope doing my Hello Kitty act for the local metal heads! Show is at 10pm. I hope to see some of my friends who live near there! Oh, the show is free because real metal is free.

And a little vintage Chinese clip to share with you via my blogger friend Durian Dave's Soft Film blog. This clip features Diana Chang, quite the voluptuous babe! There are more vintage Chinese clips on the hosting site.

Monday, July 18 "Drunken Dragon Nights"

2011-07-08T16:15:00.000-04:00

My Burlesque Experience as Seen Through Cinematic Moments

2011-07-04T14:56:00.000-04:00

I meet many fans who ask how to get our glittery red lipstick look, but another question even more popular than this one is, "What does it feel like up there?" I usually answer with a common platitude such as, "It feels amazing!" or "It's awesome!" which doesn't really tell anyone anything real and it also doesn't mean anything. I give the same kind of answers many first time performers give to describe their first time stripping for an audience in public, because I believe to properly convey what it feels like to perform on stage as a burlesque artist one must explain the feelings of exhilaration, thrill, and happiness VISUALLY. So here is my personal experience of what it feels to be a burlesque performer from the very beginning.

First, we can all relate to the moment you see another girl who possess the kind of poise, sophistication, style, and glamour you would like to have. Call it serious admiration, adoration, or girl crush, it is an universe response when you encounter art personified. This is why performers like Dita von Teese and Veronica Varlow have a gaggle of female fans that may outnumber their male fan base. I remember encountering my first few burlesque shows (one that stands out most is Spiegeltent) and feeling completely enamored by the performer's grace, beauty, and cheeky sense of humour. This is not jealousy, to be clear. It is not one of those cellphone-texting-pointy-toe-heel-wearing haters in the audience situations. This is sheer admiration as you would feel when you experience a painting or a novel that really speaks to you (FYI: Glitter and Doom exhibition at The Met in 2007, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night by Mark Haddon). This is the moment that hooks you the way Madonna hooks in Susan in the "jacket scene" from "Desperately Seeking Susan".

Makeovers are popular because they make us feel like a new person or at the very least a more "enhanced" person. Like going from a regular TV to High Def, a good makeover has the power to elevate one's self-image, confidence, and overall appreciation on one's self - you can see yourself clearer. Burlesque is the same in the process of transformation via costuming, makeup, and environment. There is a definite moment when I shift over from my day-self to Calamity at night. The ritual starts with putting on eyelashes, setting my hair, makeup, glittering my body, etc. By the time I arrive at my destination for my call time, I feel like this:

Even if you did trip and fall, you still looked GOOD right before the mishap! When I started I kittened for Broadway Brassy's show at Corio (RIP) and there was one night when Ruby Valentine stumbled on her skyhigh fetish heels as she stepped off the stage. But she recovered with such aplomb and grace with a smile, a wave to the audience and her trademark whispery voice, "I'm okay everyone!" And she was STILL beautiful! Owning and commanding your stage is a power, a supernatural power that makes you feel powerful. It is a moment where I can mentally say "fuck you" to things that anger me or memories of people who teased and made fun of me for being Chinese where I grew up in Tampa, Florida and in Texas. A moment where I tap my repressed anger issues (repressed because Chinese parents don't believe in therapy, haha) and re-channel it and be fierce like Leelo in this awesomely choreographed dance & fight scene in "The Fifth Element" when she finally shows what power and strength she is capable of:

Lastly, the all encompassing moment that exemplify how I feel, or rather, what burlesque has helped me feel and in different aspects of my life, is the famous scene from "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King" when Eowyn faces off the evil Nazgul. She was a girl and no one would let her fight, but it is precisely because of her sex that was destined for her to kill the Nazgul. There is so much violence on women in our world, sex workers being murdered, sex trade in Asia, gential mutilation, the list disheartenly goes on... so it makes me feel happy every time when I watch this scene because it makes me feel that there is strength and power no matter how powerless your circumstances may seem.

Pin-Up Glamour & Burlesque Pole Dancing

2011-06-22T13:29:00.001-04:00

This past weekend I signed up for Bettina May's Pin-Up Hair and Makeup class at Beauty Bar NYC on 14th Street. It started at noon on a Sunday morning. I rolled in with no makeup on and sunglasses. I couldn't believe I was up this early for makeup and hair! The course was 6 hours long, and I came prepared with an avocado, nuts, and some hummus. I know from shooting with other photographers that modeling is exhausting. Yes! Bettina shoots you at the end of the hair and makeup makeover so you go home with all your shots burned on a CD so you can edit them as you like.

It was really nice to have Beauty Bar as the location for the class. It was roomy enough for all of Bettina's accouterments, plenty of cool spots to pick a location for your shoot, and even enough room for Vintage Variety Shop (Atlantic Highlands, NJ) to bring a rack full of vintage dresses, gowns, slips, and plenty of jewelry and accessories to borrow or buy. Meredith, the owner of Vintage Variety, has incredibly fair pricing too. It's not like NYC-hipster price. I was able to take home a purple floral dress and a sheer black gown that I am going to wear to host in. It's slinky and extra sexy now that I put a collar of black marabou feathers... puuuurrrr!

Hot rollers - key to glamour if you don't have time to do wet-to-dry rollers

Jewelry and Hair stuff from Vintage Variety

So many great dresses! I scored two!

Sparkles!!!

We started with Bettina briefly explaining the history of the "pin up girl" and how minimal the make-up is because pin-up style developed during the wars so everything was rationed and women were home alone and started joining the work force, thus there was not a lot of time on their hands to spend on their daily beauty routines. It was all about black liquid eyeliner, false eyelashes, eyebrows, blush, and red lipstick. I was not used to doing such little makeup in my stage routine or going out routine. My burlesque makeup has been heavy on the glitter, but lately I've been reining back the glitter. My usual look for non-burlesque is dark smoky eye makeup and glossy lips. My favorite is MAC's Lip Glass in Viva Glam or any of the nude tones. I've gone through so many tubes. Doing this style of makeup was very different for me. And most Asians, I'd say, suffer from what I call the "small eye syndrome". That is, we line ALL around our eyes in an effort to make our eyes look bigger. Every beauty expert I've met say that is a mistake. Putting eyeliner all around the top and bottom of your eye actually CLOSE your eye. Bettina said the same thing that day so when I was doing my makeup I had to try really hard to resist the temptation to do stuff under the eye!

Pamphlet and a DVD for purchase

In class with Bettina!

The magic fingers of Bettina. Hair transformation underway!

My mane gets curled.

Bettina actually goes around and styles everyone's hair and style it in a way that is appropriate to your features and face. I couldn't wait to see what she was going to come up with. I think my second best feature is my hair so I was really excited to see the transformation. And mon dieu, look at the results!

A picture I can send to my Mom

After everyone got their makeup on (which was fairly easy considering the usual stuff I do which requires so much blending and trickery) and our hair done, Bettina took photos of everyone and gave tips on how to pose pin-up style. Again, another unfamiliar zone! I rarely ever smile in my photos. I rarely work with women photographers. The whole cheesecake stuff? I hadn't a clue. But I promised Bettina I would do a couple of smiling, toothy ones just for her.

A toothy one just for Bettina.

Pin-up poses and facial expressions are all about being innocent, surprised, and coy. The coy factor is almost a parody, an exaggeration - expressions I'm not comfortable making. But then I started to realize that although I am familiar with cheesecake expressions and pin-up culture (its everywhere), what was making me unsure is that the images I am accustomed to seeing are all white. Naturally, of course, it is because pin-up girls is specifically an American cultural phenomenon and as I did some research when I got home, there was no such thing during the war in Asia (when I say Asia I am only including China, Japan, Korea). With further research I found that indeed there were NO Asian pin-up girls because Asians were considered enemies during the war. Interesting! I found some Asian models on Model Mayhem self-described as "pin ups", and yes, they simulate the poses and the expressions but there's just something off about the imagery. I guess I felt sort of poser-ish knowing that what I'm referencing visually has nothing to do with my experience, my family's experience, and I do not share it's place in collective national memory. This is just my personal reaction mainly due to my over-education, heavy studies in postmodern literature and dabbling in deconstructive literary theory as an undergrad at Cornell which is why everything to me is an inter-reference (Pynchon!) or a pastiche - which is exactly what I felt like I was doing posing as an All-American pin-up.

Gee, I'm caught!

As a reference, in the 1940s this is how Chinese women looked.

Famous film star and singer from Shanghai: Zhou Xuan

Academic art dissection aside, it was a GREAT class because I finally learned how to create those big glamorous Veronica Lake hair waves that cascade down one side of your face and I learned how to do victory rolls which has always been a mystery to me.

The waves, the waves! I want to have hair like this ALL the time!

This week I started a six-week course in "Burlesque Pole Dancing" at Shockra Studio with Peekaboo Pointe. I've never gotten on a pole before and Peekaboo made it look so easy and effortless, but it is not. It's all upper body strength and I have about as much upper body strength as the average girl who isn't weight training for something specific which is not enough to get you up two climbs on the pole OR to do the baseball lift. At least I think that was what it was called. The names for the moves were really funny like "the fan kick," "the fireman something", and another hook something or another. Since it was a burlesque pole dancing class, Peekaboo did not show us "stripper aesthetic" like spreading your legs wide open as you come off the pole. In the burlesque aesthetic, you keep your knees together and point your toes and stand up slowly from your waist and look pretty. I liked that! By the end of class, my ankles, knees, and wrists were all bruised. I already bruise easily and I have knobby knees and ankles and boy, the metal pole was NOT gentle. Today I am sore as I expected. It feels like I was working with a personal trainer. It's a good feeling and I can't wait for the next class!

Forbidden City Burlesque, My First Sex Scene, New Orleans!

2011-06-07T22:08:00.002-04:00

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind! Although I did not go to Vegas for Burlesque Hall of Fame (it's like the Oscars of burlesque) like everyone else it seems, I feel like I've been away because all I've been doing is work, work, work. What beautiful, sunny NYC day? I've been in-doors either working on new costumes, repairing older ones, or doing stuff online to promote and produce my new show "Forbidden City Burlesque" premiering this Saturday, June 11 at Tammany Hall in LES. I am really excited about this show and my new relationship with the venue. One main reason being the theme is Asian-inspired, and now I get to indulge and lose myself in all the music that my grandparents listened to in the 30s and 40s. I've discovered so many singers and amazing imagery from that era. I'm proving my parents right (yet again) because they used to tell me that one day I will want to learn more about Chinese history. Haha! When I was younger I rejected all of that "chinky chonky" shit. Unfortunately it is one of the pitfalls about being an immigrant. You want to assimilate and blend in so bad you don't want to know anything about your background. Especially growing up in non-urban, culturally diverse cities such as Tampa, Florida, and then parts of Texas. I certainly did NOT want to stand out. How I longed for blonde hair and blue eyes in elementary school and I even wished my parents went to church like normal Americans. Any one who grew up in non-urban cities know what I'm talking about. People used to ask me, "Do you know kung fu?" Anyway so now I'm "celebrating" all that "chinky chonky" shit!

The promotional photo for the show was taken on the famous Doyers Street in Chinatown. Michael, who photographs ALL my promotional material, did the shoot super-guerilla style with his friend Adam who is also a photographer. We had to do it really efficiently because you are not allowed to put a light stand on the street unless you have a permit. It was really funny because when you shoot in Chinatown, EVERYONE stops and stares and takes pictures of you and pictures of the photographer taking pictures of you. Of course it was impossible to not have people in the background but when I reviewed the photos, my favorite ones were the ones where bystanders are reacting to me. I love the way he lit me in these outtakes below.

A select from the shoot on Doyers Street, Chinatown. Photographer Michael Webb.

Doyers Street shoot for "Forbidden City Burlesque" at Tammany Hall LES. Photographer Michael Webb.

Doyers Street shoot out take by Dan Kim.

The other exciting thing that I did recently was appear in a new film by Steve McQueen called SHAME (IMDB info). Runaround Sue sent out an email saying that her Burlesque Agency was helping cast a couple of roles for this film so I submitted myself. Why not, right? I'm not afraid of rejection. I have a folder of rejection letters from art schools, art competitions, bank loans, just a myriad of rejection letters of all types. For some reason keeping a catalogue of rejection letters and notices has had the opposite effect for me. It makes me less fearful. A few hours go by and, surprisingly, Sue called me and said the director wanted to meet me in person the next day. I was made aware from the get that the role required nudity, and it would be for a sex scene with the lead actor MICHAEL FASSBENDER!! YES! He was one of the bad Nazi officers in Inglorious Bastards and most recently was Erik (MAGNETO) in X-Men (personally, I prefer the Nazi look. Doh!).

Sue gave me some advice about going in and listening to what they had to say and if asked to talk about my theater experience. What theater experience? Aside from my three years of improv comedy in college and burlesque, I don't have any formal training. Oh there was that one AT&T ad campaign that my casting friend sent me to years ago and I made it to the final three but didn't get the job. Non-SAG probably. But I had to do all these stupid things like hold a phone prop and act like I'm talking on the phone and now I'm surprised! Now I'm laughing! Now I'm worried. Now I'm wistful. It felt very silly to me.

Anyway. I went to meet the director after work in total daytime face. Hardly any makeup, my hair was up in a stick, I think I wore a t-shirt and jeans and biker boots that day. I arrive and the co-producer show me in to a tiny little room where Steve McQueen was. He's British and had this awkward-shy way about him. He talked about the film and what the story was about, I asked questions. I was curious about when this sex/nude scene occurs in terms of the character development. He asked several times to make sure that I understood there would be full nudity in the film and if I was okay with that. I said yes, as long as there would be no penetration of fingers or genitals. He vehemently shook his head and said something like, "I hope I'm not offending you but Michael would never do that. Nothing against you. But he's a real gentleman. That would not happen. He wouldn't want it to happen. No offense..." I was like, okay I get it. I'm repulsive and he won't get a hard-on. Haha. This is not "Casting Couch Porn Volume 1". Then he very politely asked if I would disrobe down to nothing to see my body. He even turned around to put his back to me while I was changing! I had to reassure him that we burlesque performers are quite accustomed to being naked around strangers. Then I turned around in circles, round and round, while he inspected me from a respectful distance, all the way from the other corner of the tiny room. When I left the building I seriously did not think I would get it. I was not "Calamity" in there, but just my off-stage self. In my mind, I was not dynamic, social-able, or energetic. Like what I picture you are supposed to be when you walk into an audition. I didn't think I was "on". Obviously in the back of my mind I wanted the experience and opportunity, but for some reason and this is just my own personal superstition, when I think about wanting something really bad, I NEVER get it. Like if I start doing "scenario building" in my head and playing, "It would be so cool if..." I never get what I wish for. So I made myself stop thinking about it and put it out of my mind. I was really shocked when Sue called me back the next day and congratulated me! That was on Wednesday. Filming was on Friday night.

I was very lucky to be cast with Dee Dee Luxe who is another burlesque performer and is a regular performer at The Box. She and I met up Thursday night after my show at Nurse Bettie to meet each other beforehand. The script had said Caucasian and Asian female (25-30 years old) so Steve is obviously casting for some kind of hetero-normative sexual fantasy archetypes. Well he certainly got that with Dee Dee and I. Dee Dee is petite and blonde and in superior curvy shape. I've never been with a girl before (fake or real), and I confessed that to her that so she wouldn't laugh at me on Friday when we do our threesome sex scene with Fassbender. Lol. To make a long story short, I knew Dee Dee and I would get along famously when she busted out the same pair of boots that I have on Friday at wardrobe! I'm not sure how much I should recount the experience of the shoot itself because I had tweeted a few things which were scooped up and re-posted on IndieWire about Steve's film. Thank god I didn't tweet anything overtly sexual about any members on set (get it, members? hahahahah).

I don't want to give away the plot or spoilers about the film, but it's pretty intense. At least, our scenes with Michael were totally intense! I'll just say that whoever he is dating (I heard its Zoe Kravitz), is most definitely not disappointed with his...er, manliness. Steve also had me do another scene that's not a sex scene where I open the door and let the main character in. It read easy enough in the script - all of one sentence - but holy shit it was hard to be "natural" and "myself" doing something as inane as opening the door! I had to do it over and over again like ten times. And every time I had to do it again I felt more and more apologetic and kept telling Steve that maybe he should get someone else to do this scene. I had signed up for the sex scenes. I didn't claim to be an actress. I ain't frontin. And I certainly wasn't foolin no one. But god bless Steve, he was so patient with me and explained what emotion my face should show in countless ways. I even made him be my character to show me what I'm supposed to "emote". But that didn't work either. First, I was too stern. Then I was too smiley. Then too mean. Too stiff. In the bathroom, Steve said I was acting too much and I had to be more myself. Who the hell is that? At that moment I wanted to go home and I haven't even seen Michael Fassbender naked yet! Finally, Steve told me to "make the scene my own" so I asked myself a few seconds before they shouted "action!" what I would do in real life if someone with a complex relationship to me rang the doorbell and how I would feel knowing he was coming over for sex and only sex (naturally of course, I don't have any real life experiences like this to draw from...)

So I looked through the peephole, unlocked the door, and did my thing, and voila it was done. I told Steve later that the sex scenes were way easier than opening the door, closing the door. I felt embarassed and was telling Michael about how mortifying it was and he shared an anecdote about his first time acting on a real film set. He said he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole. I thought that was really nice of him to tell me that to make me feel better even if he was making it up. He's very down to earth. The three of us did the sex scenes a few times with the aide of a bottle of silver Patron tequila and Jamesons. Michael was a pro and a gent, and man, that guy can act. He really poured himself into all the scenes. And I mean that quite literally. (Wink wink). We shot the sex scenes six or eight times from various angles and configurations. DeeDee and I mainly took control of what to do with Steve giving us direction every now and then about blocking and lighting. When we took "lunch" which was at 11pm, I had a chance to ask all my film geek questions like who was Steve's favorite director (Terence Malick), what they thought of the whole "Apatow Syndrome" and the Ridley Scott film Michael was just working on (Prometheus), and what David Cronenberg is like. Michael said the Scott set was incredible and felt like you really were on a spaceship. He also played Carl Jung in Cronenberg's new film about Freud. It really made me miss my college film theory classes.

We finally wrapped around 1am. Steve seemed very happy with how the sex scenes turned out. He said it's quite the pivotal moment in the film and he thinks it'll be an "stand out" moment. I hope he's right cause if I look fat, I'm gonna be so mad at him!! It was really great making out with Dee Dee too. We really had a great time bonding - I mean, it's kinda hard not to bond with someone when you've spent hours kissing and caressing each other. ALL VERY SISTERLY, OF COURSE! SHAME is scheduled to premiere at the Venice Biennial in the fall. Hopefully they will invite us extras to it. Ha!

Aaand it's a wrap! From L to R: Nick London (MUA), Steve McQueen, Me, DeeDee, Michael Fassbender

I was also in a recent interview for a French Photography Blog called Project 752. If you can read French, it's a great interview. I don't say that lightly because I do many written interviews where it's often just a series of questions that were quickly put together with no real sense of trying to get to know someone. But this one is different. I could tell he's an artist himself because many of his questions involve process and inspiration. This is one interview I really enjoyed thinking and responding to: http://monsieur752.blogspot.com/2011/06/dont-dream-it-be-it.html

In another VERY exciting news, I found out today that I was accepted in the 3rd Annual New Orleans Burlesque Festival! Again, I put it out of my mind because when I think about something too much, I don't get it. This festival is notorious for only accepting big, glamorous acts and presentations like Amber Ray's work. I submitted my black fan dance to a 1930's Japanese cover of "St Louis Blues". This is my oldest act (not counting my debut act "China Girl" by my fellow birthday rockstar Iggy Pop) and it has evolved tremendously in two years. I will be performing on Friday night's "Bad Girls of Burlesque" showcase, a night for the newcomers. Saturday night is the seriously MAJOR Queen of Burlesque show with lots of performers from NYC! I am BEYOND excited because I have NEVER BEEN TO NEW ORLEANS! And I'm a spicy food fanatic and Cajun cuisine is up there in my top 5 favorites! (Mexican, Indian, Sizuan Chinese, Korean being the other four).

I am also excited to debut my new act "Night Train" by Alvino Trey this week. I know it's a popular song, one of those stripper classics, but I need a "classic classic" number besides my fan dance and the Blue Vegas sparkler act, and I rather do this song which every jazz band knows so I can use it to perform live if that opportunity comes my way. No, I am NOT dressing anything like a train conductor. All I will say is that the dress is designed by Nasty Canasta and when I put it on, its like a dream. I end up rehearsing for hours instead of half an hour simply because it's DIVINE. I've spent all last weekend and the majority of this week sewing, fixing, and making minor alterations to it in time for Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

By the way, Forbidden City Burlesque is only $5 if you buy pre-sale here. It'll be $10 at the door on the night of. Here's an image to whet your imagination of what to expect Saturday night:

Lots of Stuff to Tell!

2011-06-01T13:41:00.000-04:00

I am so behind on many things including my new show announcement "Forbidden City Burlesque" at Tammany Hall in LES which I am SO SO SO excited about! And my film shoot with DeeDee Luxe with Michael Fassbender for SHAME, Steve McQueen's new film, AND Macao's annual party Drunken Dragon Nights.

For now though to tie you over, here are some pictures from MetroMix! http://newyork.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/essay_photo_gallery/drunken-dragon-festival-2011/2647281/content

Where to See Me in May

2011-05-04T18:15:00.000-04:00

May 2011 Calendar Updated!

Birthday Week Recap (Lotta Pictures!)

2011-04-20T11:57:00.001-04:00

My birthday week began on Monday night with an extremely triumphant return to TriBeCa's favorite Asian-Portuguese fusion restaurant's monthly word-of-mouth show "Drunken Dragon Nights"! The last time I was there for DDN as I call it was in February. But show time moves at an accelerated speed than "profane" time (who gets the reference? I will give you a free Beatles Burlesque tshirt!) so it felt like it's been six months away.

The night began with a cocktail class on rye whiskey led by Dushan Zaric. From what I could see, there were plenty of cocktails to sample and lots of nibbles passed around on plates. The class portion is 2 hours from 7-9pm and admission is $55 a person, I believe. Many people ask me when DDN is and the annoying answer is, "It depends." This show and party is word-of-mouth. There are 2 foolproof ways to get in the know:

Find my fan page on Facebook (click here) where I always announce every show I'm in
Sign up for my email news because that's where I announce the most coveted shows to attend. Don't worry, I send out at most 3 emails a month and you can unsubscribe anonymously without having to send me an awkward email saying, "Um, please take me off your email list. I don't care."

After the class and the food plates, the burlesque portion began at 10 PM. DJ Dom manned the soundbooth and the girls got ready. The room went from being only half-full to completely packed with everyone standing on the chairs and booths. The audience was Macao has been great consistently every time! Gal Friday probably is the one performer that has done DDN every single time and she agreed about the audience. They were very considerate and made a nice cleared off area in front of the bar for us to dance in. The line-up moves pretty fast at DDN with no breaks. I always change in the kitchen which reminds me of old Dim Sum Burlesque at Chow Bar where I would change next to the refrigerators and dishwasher. Gabi Porter from Metromix was in attendance along with the illustrious Luma Rouge.

Thursday night at Nurse Bettie was spectacular! It was an extra long show with extra performers than usual. There were balloons and cupcakes and I saw a lot of familiar faces like Frances, Caprice, Bill (from LA), Mark without Lauren, it was old skool style!

Friday night capped off with the show at Hotel Chantelle. Because there were a couple of big reservations arriving at 10pm, the show started early meaning on time at 9pm to a quiet, smaller crowd. Though small, they were enthusiastic and generous with their appreciation.

Gal Friday! Photo by Gabi Porter for MetroMix NY

Ekaterina. Photo by Gabi Porter for MetroMix NY

Photo by Gabi Porter for MetroMix NY

Nikki Le Villain. Photo by Gabi Porter for MetroMix NY

My Champagne Bath Finale. Photo by Gabi Porter for MetroMix NY

A rare behind-the-scenes shot! Only girls allowed by Gabi Porter for MetroMix NY

Live drawing Ekat during the show by Luma Rouge

Live drawing Nikki Le Villain during the show by Luma Rouge

Live drawing Gal Friday during the show by Luma Rouge

Live drawing Ekat during the show by Luma Rouge

My Champagne Bath! I love this. By Luma Rouge

Tansy!

Thursday night at Nurse Bettie, Tansy Tan Dora (pictured left) did a special birthday act for me. Her entire dress was made out of birthday wrapping paper!! She even made pleats out of her dress and a little bra top! I was so moved by the thought and creativity that went into this. So amazing!

After Nurse Bettie, I went to see the bitches at Meaner, Harder, Leather at Vig27 and to hear Brassy sing. I have to say, when I watch these drag queens do their thang, I learn more about being feminine from watching them! The walking, the posing, and the secret weapon of knowing WHEN to just stand still and let the audience absorb you. Many new performers feel like they have to always be doing something when on stage, I was there once too. But sometimes you have to slow down, relish that 3-4minutes, and allow your audience to just look at you.

Stormy at Meaner, Harder, Leather at Vig27

Ms Mocha Lite

Stormy makes moping XXX while Santiago shoots

Veruca La'Piranha. She was F-I-E-R-C-E!! Her movements were ON POINT. Everyone should learn something from her.

Follow Up: French Spirits Soiree: Pictures by Gabi Porter

2011-04-15T16:34:00.001-04:00

Last night was seriously fun, fast paced, and intense. I made it to all three gigs on time and knocked it out. It's really amazing to do the same act three times in one night at three different venues and very different crowd every time. By the end of the night, the act reached a new level of growth and I discovered a couple of new corners and gestures in it.

Here are some of my favorites from the French Spirits Soiree event which was so beautiful, sophisticated, and full. The party was really fun and so many fancy cocktails, bread, cheese, and meat plates. The full album is by Gabi Porter for MetroMix. I'm finally in MetroMix!!! Bloody time!

Charlie Gunn & Tina Tassels

The Hot Sardines, they were so good

Doing my sparklers act in front of the window with full view access for the pedestrians on the street

Check out the people outside. LOL.

Immortal-Rouged by Luma Rouge

2011-04-12T22:57:00.001-04:00

The illustrious Luma Rouge came to Monday's Beatles Burlesque show and created some of her famous live drawing illustrations. If you are not familiar with Luma's work, you should definitely check out her drawings. She does them live at the show with a pencil and brush with a palette of no more than 20-ish colors. I tried to watch her the couple of times she has attended Beatles Burlesque, and you just sort of see her hands flurry over her sketchpad with broad strokes, then before your eyes, it's a thigh, a leg, a heel, a smile, tussled hair, magnificent feathers. All the while she is jammin along to the music too! It's one of those moments when you know you are in the presence of serious talent and artistry.

Here's the link to the rest of the drawings on her Facebook.

By Luma Rouge

To see more of her work, framed and ready for purchase, click here for her ImageKind Gallery.
Learn more about Luma, click here for her web site.

French Spirits Soiree! Thursday, April 14!

2011-04-08T14:48:00.004-04:00

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Now here's a private event gig that I am really looking forward to! If I wasn't performing in it, I would go myself as a civilian and indulge in the cheese & charcuterie plate by Murray's Cheese and sample UNLIMITED drinks du jour from the hedonistic era of La Belle Epoque like absinthe and other Parisian cocktails. Just thinking about the event makes me feel sophisticated. Who needs an English degree from a fancy university when you can pay a mere $55 and pontificate with the best of them?

Oh wait, the VIP $55 is SOLD OUT already. Well, you can still get the freshman $40 for general entry from 7:30 to 10 p.m. Tickets are available by CLICKING HERE.

There's cabaret live music provided by The Hot Sardines who I am looking forward to meeting. For those familiar with the scene they have performed at Juliette's Shanghai Mermaid parties as well as Don Spiro and Diane Naegel's Wit's End parties. More details click here.

I'll be going on around 8pm (but I'm most likely gonna be there hanging out early to "absorb" the scene) then head to my weekly show "Spanking the Lower East Side" at Nurse Bettie followed by Stormy Leather's "Meaner, Harder, Leather" at Vig27. It's a tripleXXX night.

The Scar

2011-04-05T19:59:00.005-04:00

Photo by Ian Vollmer

Many of you know or have seen the long scar running six inches vertically down my stomach. I don't think about the scar much, in fact, 99% of the time it barely registers in my mind. I've grown so accustomed to seeing it every time I look in the mirror naked that I've honestly forgotten about it much like the tattoos on my forearm and on my back. So it is surprising and slightly thrilling when new audience members notice it for the first time.

I know many of you wonder how I got it. Performers often ask once they get to know me better and know I wouldn't feel offended talking about it. I wish I could say that I got it in an alley fight over a man, a drunken brawl over rhinestoned stilettos, a gang fight defending a friend's honor, or some such. But alas, the truth is no where nearly as glamorous or exciting as the fiction in my mind. I got the scar because of obstructed bowel. What that means is a foot of my intestines got tangled around old abdominal scar tissue (appendicitis in my case from when I was 8) and then became strangled. Once it was strangled, it blocked everything in my intestines from moving regularly and thus the obstruction. Unfortunately for me, I thought it was food poison so stayed home for 3 more days before realizing that something was seriously wrong when I looked in the bathroom mirror. I was breaking out in torrential sweat even though I felt extremely cold, my face was pale, and my stomach was distended. I couldn't even hold water down. My boyfriend at the time had no experience with anything like this either so he was no help. The pain, oh my god, was worse than anything I've ever experienced and it came in wave after wave. Finally I called the ambulance at 3am and it took me to Cabrini Hospital in the East Village. They mis-diagnosed me and sent me home with some Ibruprofin believing that it was a case of food poison as well. Cabrini has since been shut down, hooray! I went home for another two days before Dwight Yokam told me I was dying.

I KID YOU NOT. In my fever, pain, and cold sweating, Dwight Yokam who I have never listened to or know anything about, told me in a hallucination that I was dying and had to call 911 ASAP. I did. This time they took me to Beth Israel Hospital. Fortunately the staff there knew I was in a bad place and triaged me accordingly. I had no health insurance at the time either. They sent me to surgery immediately, opened me up and removed the entangled and dead intestine (over a foot long!). I was in ICU for another week, then another week sharing a room with a few random old ladies while waiting for my intestines to reconnect and get going again. Meaning, every morning, a group of HOT male doctors would come in and ask me if I've pooped or farted yet. When you can do either of those activities, it means your bowels are functional again. Talk about humiliating...

So that's how I got my scar. Also for those who are not familiar with scars, C-section scars run horizontally from hip to hip, not vertically.

Recently one of my Asian fans (I seem to have a large Asian fan base) posted on Facebook a picture of me performing with my arms raised high and my scar full-frontal. That picture generated a long thread of comments from his seemingly all-Asian friends (I am assuming based on their last names). It was surprising to me to read that almost all the women thought a naked woman with a scar should not be showing her "defect" publicly. One woman wrote, "ew..." Another girl wrote something about how she did not want to see something like that. And another simply wrote, "whoa..." which could be construed as positive, I guess. Then there was a debate about whether I was hot or not, but discussed in a way that was not a personal attack - simply more about whether a marked body should be displayed in public. The "standard of beauty" phrase was thrown around. Many of the male commentators were pro-scars and wrote things like, "Girls with scars are sexy...lol" and "There is a standard for beauty globaly. Sure Confidence and feeling secure about one's self helps, but we can't ignore the fact that some women have it and some have not." And lastly my favorite, "Of course ,there are exceptions too. For instance, a girl might look good to a man and look ugly to another man's eyes. That is why there is a saying 'Beauty is to the eyes of be holder...'" Oh, and another guy wrote that he thought I looked like a man. That was new and I've never heard of that one!

To my fan's credit, he artfully defended the art of striptease and "alternative" ideas of physical beauty to the end. I have a feeling that among his friends he is the "crazy, artsy" one who introduces the rest to events they typically would never experience or have prejudices about. Go! XXXX FAN!

The thread of comments ended when I jumped in. If you're going to talk about me, I will talk back. Quite frankly, I was excited that my scar generated such a controversy. I wrote, "For the record, my Chinese mom also thinks its odd that I would want to show off my scar. It's a common traditional way of thinking, and I don't abide by that. I've never abid...ed by anything conventional or common. The scar was was an obstructed bowel surgery I had 8 years ago where I almost died. To me it's a big FUCK YOU to conventional ideas of beauty, and like I always say in my show, if you don't like what you see, the door is right there. Thanks XXXX for being such a great supporter."

I'm not impervious to negative comments and insecurities. There have been times when private event promoters ask to see pictures of me beforehand, and there is always that moment of doubt when I wonder if my scar makes me less desirable and appropriate for their event, or if my scar literally "marks" me and my acts as more "sideshow" for "edgier" venues. Although I've never felt ashamed or embarassed by it, I do sometimes try to put some cover-up makeup on it. It doesn't do anything anyway so I've stopped doing it. I suppose part of putting yourself out there in public is knowing that people will talk and "opine" (my shortened version of opiniate). We do it to celebrities all the time. We do it to people on television. Any one who is in the public eye for whatever reason. We criticize. We judge. We talk about whether so-and-so is ugly, fat, too skinny, shouldn't be dating this or that, on and on and on. For most part its fun talk. But the desire and drive are there in everyone. I understand that and I'm not afraid.

Cause what can ya do? The scar is on me. It's a part of me. I can't get rid of it. I can't cover it up cause I'm too lazy and cheap to spend money on cover-up makeup. It's my life history mapped on my body. Take it or leave it. The exit door is there.

Me & My Controversial Scar

New weekly flyer for "Spanking the Lower East Side" Thursday Nights

2011-04-05T15:40:00.000-04:00

"I am the Walrus" Beatles Burlesque 1 Year Anniv Show

2011-03-23T23:25:00.002-04:00

Drunk Guys at Shows

2011-03-18T01:20:00.001-04:00

I hate St. Patrick's Day. I was able to avoid all visual reminders today because I didn't leave the office at all. My lunch was delivered to me via SeamlessWeb.com by using their app on my iPhone. The only time I saw some dumb people wearing all green and wearing leprechaun flop hats was on the subway going home. And why is it always white people who get all greened up for this holiday? I was anticipating the worst tonight at Nurse Bettie and was probably a bit prickly when I got there. But pleasantly to my surprise, it was not douchey at all. Generally speaking, Nurse Bettie does not attract a fraternity crowd or a more "ghetto" crowd like The Delancey. But every now and then, you get that ONE stupid guy who is drunk and misbehaves, and I picked him out right off the bat! His friend was okay and acted like he was embarrassed by his friend's loudmouth, obnoxious behavior. During the dance-off game, the obnoxious one particularly threw himself on the stage without knowing what he was in for. Then he actually SLAPPED my butt!!! I was like, "Oh, no you didn't!!" I stopped explaining to the audience the rules of the game and said, "If you touch me again, I will kick you out of this bar." I felt like I had to say that so many times tonight! Sometimes doing a show at a bar environment is great fun cause its rowdy and wild, but the crowd management and reading the audience can piss me off really quick. So his poor friend did the dance off, and he was a good sport. But the obnoxious one refused to dance! I wanted to hang him by the balls on the hangers on the wall!!! Alex, the bartender that we all love, grandly stepped in and helped finish the game. The best part? When the judging time came, NO ONE clapped for the obnoxious guy's friend. It's not his fault but I think the audience was on my side and transferred their dislike to the other guy. Seriously. I even asked twice for their applause and I think a girl actually boo-ed. The rest of the show was grand. All the girls were great and really "brung" it as always.

I can't wait to upload the amazing pictures that Francine Daveta took of the last Beatles Burlesque One Year Anniversary show! As soon as I have some downtime over the weekend, I am going to take care of that and edit a couple more of our popular montages too. Here's a sneak preview!

Curtain call

Ekaterina

Charlie Gunn was sacrificied

Bettina May

Post-Flu Pick Me Ups!

2011-03-05T15:42:00.000-05:00

I am finally feeling better today! I hate to cancel shows but I am glad I did for Thursday at Nurse Bettie and Friday at Hotel Chantelle, because I would have been coughing throughout the show and giving my germs to everyone around me, including the microphone. This whole week was a blur. Not even sure what today was until I looked at my iCal. I went out and did some errands for the first time today too. Stopped by Rainbo, my favorite ghetto ass store on Delancey Street right next to the 24hour McDonald's and bought some bling. Then I blinged out my bra top by adding strands of rhinestones on the straps and along the bra cup for tonight's private gig that I'm doing (by coincidence) at Hotel Chantelle. I'm sure I can manage 6 minutes without coughing. But just in case, I am armed with a box of DayQuil.

The Black Lodge

2011-02-24T14:14:00.001-05:00

The Black Lodge costume for "Twin Peaks Burlesque"

Last night's "The Pink Room" show was truly something special. Like I told Franny the day she invited me to be a part of the show, it'll sell out. Sure enough, the line was out through the front room at Parkside Lounge at 9pm and Tina Tassels had to turn away several people. It was also not the typical burlesque audience. I think the eccentricity and quirkiness of the TP-theme pulled in a majority of people who are fans of the show but not necessarily "burlesque supporters". I love this kind of audience!

So this is the dress I made as "The Black Lodge." Finding that zigzag fabric was really difficult cause apparently it's a 70's-inspired pattern that no one sells anymore other than upholstery shops. I do not have the time to hit the pavement during the day to comb through the garment district looking for something this specific so I found it online at DenverFabrics.com - except they had to order it from the manufacture which took two weeks and STILL no fabric. I cancelled that order and luckily found it on Etsy at Hodi and Poppi Fabrics (she caters to vintage style designs). And only one yard left!

There is a big zipper down the back. The big bulky kind so it doesn't get stuck. The halter straps are removable so is the belt, all by big snap buttons. The rest was just black and red tulle and the mask is a crow mask with lots of rhinestones. The dress took about 5 hours one Sunday. I had amazing sex right after I finished making that dress so I knew it was going to be a successful act when it's broken in that way! Unlike my blue Vegas-sparklers act... working with fire is so temperamental and really feels like working with some unknown entity and power.

My music is "Dance of the Dream Man" from the actual first scene of the Black Lodge (aka The Red Room) where Agent Cooper has his first vision. You can see it on YouTube here.

I will do this act again on Friday night 2/25 at "Room 69: The Hotel Chantelle Way"!

"The Pink Room: Twin Peaks Burlesque" Tomorrow Night!

2011-02-22T21:00:00.000-05:00

I am SO excited about tomorrow night's "The Pink Room" the Twin Peaks Burlesque show that Franny Fluffer is producing! It's her first show and it's going to be awesome! I can't wait to debut my dress for her show cause I made it in one day while juggling a crazy 15 hour blow-my-brains-out design deadline for my day time job. I am forcing myself not to post pictures of it cause I want you to come to the show tomorrow night to see the amazing line-up! It's at Parkside Lounge at 9:30pm and it's hosted by the one-and-only Bastard Keith as "Agent Keith". I can't think of anyone else more appropriate to host the show other than maybe Abe dressed up as Log Lady. LOL. I WILL post pictures after tomorrow's show, I promise.

Here are some racier pictures from the final "Spreading the Curtains" show at Coco de Mer this last Saturday. I did not post these on Facebook cause they deleted the ones of me and Gal Friday with hats within 24 hours. The show photos were taken by Paul Ferris who was a pleasure to work with and super fast about uploading the images!

I don't know who she was but she is so pretty!

Me and Katie who will be gogo-ing at the Beatles 1 Year Anniversary show on March 14!

The "burlesque baker" The Naughty Housewife and Broadway Brassy. I met them both when I kittened for Brassy at "Last Call at the Starliner Lounge" at Corio way back when. They are both now two of my closest friends.

A few pictures from this whirlwind weekend

2011-02-20T11:38:00.000-05:00

Saturday "Spreading the Curtains" last show at Coco de Mer: This is the view from the surveillance camera from behind the stage so we know when to cue the music. For the group finale, Pandora's idea of "Pandora's Box" had us blindfolding the audience so we could set up the box where Maine and I were hiding inside. I just LOVE how the audience were so great and sweet, did as they were instructed. So awesome!! Below is a backstage photo of the costume we wore for "Pandora's Box".

Blindfolding the audience at Coco de Mer NYC

Backstage/office at Coco de Mer NYC

Friday night, Gal Friday and I did a private party in the Upper East Side. She did her famous classic beatgirl tassel twirling and I did the fetish nun act at the request of the organizers. We showed them a really good representation of 2 burlesque styles. Gal really knocked them out. The women were SO into it. It was a great gig! The organizer introduced us, and there was a proper DJ, and a chair. I DID NOT fall over like at the last private gig - because these guys were pros!

Me with hat

Gal with hat

Waiting around

Another Beatles Clip "Helter Skelter"

2011-02-20T11:15:00.000-05:00

Monday, March 14, 2011 is our ONE year anniversary show! I am so excited about the line-up and I'll announce it now on my blog for my readers - EKATERINA, BETTINA MAY, myself with Gogo Dancing by SYDNEY SUNRISE (you can see her in the video above) and a fresh new hottie whose name is TBA!

This anniversary show will have an open bar by my favorite down under sponsor 42Below Vodka from 9-10pm AND treats by "the burlesque baker" herself The Naughty Housewife! Guest musicians and singers are in the works so make sure you check our website for latest updates!

Beatles Burlesque Número Once!

2011-02-16T23:08:00.000-05:00

This past Monday night marked the 11th Beatles Burlesque show, and we packed the house! It was amazing! Many young couples were out to celebrate Valentine's Day as well as groups of guys and gals hanging out. I had to get out more chairs and ushered some of the people coming in to find a table to sit. I love that people were ordering food too from next door Cubana Social - I'm familiar and at home with the show + food format cause it's like Dim Sum Burlesque all over again.

Here''s a clip of one of the performers. I am trying to find time at night when I don't have shows to edit the rest of them. More to come...

Shake & Bake This!

2011-02-12T13:42:00.005-05:00

Yellow trash comfort food

When I was growing up, we made a lot of Shake & Bake and other fine American classics like Hamburger Helper. This was when we first came to the US via Bolivia. I lived in Santa Cruz, Bolivia from 8 to 11 years old then we immigrated to the US to the glamorous and completely white with no diversity city of Tampa, Florida. I was SO pissed. Not because we suddenly found ourselves dirt poor. I was too young to understand the financial pressure on my parents nor the stress of learning a new language, finding a job - ANY job - when you can't speak the language fluently. All I knew was that I had to learn English and I was NOT happy about that. I remember saying, "I'm never going to learn English! I'm only going to speak Spanish and Chinese!" Well, look at me now, BA in English and a blog later, writing and writing away.

We went grocery shopping at Sam's Warehouse in Tampa, and the only food we could afford was stuff like Hamburger Helper, Shake & Bake, ramen noodles, and somehow my mom made that money stretch to feed the four of us. I was never allowed to get cheese puffs even though for a huge bag it was only 99cents. I made a big fuss about it and finally one day standing in the Chips aisle, my mom yelled at me and said, "I can buy ground turkey for 99cents and make dinner for everyone!" That kind of made me realize then how poor we were, that and not being able to afford turning on the AC in damp, humid, sticky Tampa summers. I hate Tampa to this day... That day in the Chips aisle marked my lifelong obsession with cheese puffs. I fucking LOVE cheese puffs. It's my guilty pleasure. Unfortunately for my Mom she developed an acute nauseous reaction whenever she smells cheese puffs. Every immigrant has some kind of story of this form. The "poor immigrant food" story. My friend Camilo who is from Colombia and I compared to see who had the better "poor immigrant food" story. His parents used to steal McDonald's coupons from neighbors' newspaper on the lawn. I shared the roadkill story. There were a lot of wild geese in Clearwater, Tampa and we were driving around in our white Dodge station wagon (with wood paneling...ah, that car so many memories with that old thing) and the car in front of us hit a white goose and drove off. It was a healthy-plump white goose and it was dead. So we took it home, de-feathered that bitch, and had a delicious goose dinner that night! I won the competition.

Lately I've been too busy to go grocery shopping so I dug around the cupboard and found a box of Shake & Bake, and making it reminded me of the old days. I made it today and it tasted pretty good. Considering that you bake the chicken and not deep frying it, it's actually pretty low cal and healthy. In the time it took me to walk Chewie, when I came back, it was done!

I had "Room 69" again at Hotel Chantelle last night and it was very fun. I did the champagne act - the same one I did at Macao on Monday night, but my corset got stuck and Stormy even tried to undo it for me with no luck. So I kept going but then the music stopped! This hasn't happened to me before and I actually just had a conversation with Michael about it. I asked him what he would do if his music stopped in the middle of a routine. He said he would stop the act, fix the music, and start over. Which is strange to me because whenever I've seen that happen to performers, everyone just keeps going and make it into an interactive, audience participation thing. Which is what ended up happening. Stormy, Brassy, GoGo, Sapphire, and Charlie Gunn hummed my song acoustically and the audience got into it too. Then the music started back up AND my corset suddenly came off too! All in all, it was a fun night that ended with me at the Hotel Mondrian soft-launch party with Honi and Nasty. We were supposed to gogo dance from 12-3am but due to some whatever corporate issue with their lack of a cabaret license, we actually never danced but just hung out in our room drinking champagne and gabbing! We went down towards the end of the night to check out the lounge/bar. It's called Mister Hung and lo and behold, it's all Chinese-themed. There were all these antique bird cages like what my grandfather used to have but he had them not to create a "chinoiserie chic" look but because he raised song birds. Lots of palm trees. A big neon sign that said in Chinese words "Love Liquor Hotel" or something to that effect. In one of the rooms behind a shimmery beaded curtain, there was a giant red neon sign that said, "There are no prostitutes in this room." A bit heavy-handed but seeing the word "prostitute" emblazoned on the wall of a bar does have a subliminal effect on people under the influence. It kind of plants the thought and mood in your mind and kinda makes you feel all sexual suddenly. Also helped that the waitresses were mostly Asian and, of course, "HAWT" as people like to say nowadays about Asian women. But the male bartenders were equally attractive but surprise! Not Asian. The crowd was all fashion week people so lots of tall models and bearded hipster guys. I find all this social brouhahas surrounding Fashion Week terribly boring, but then again, I suppose to fashion people all the happenings around the NY Burlesque Festival is probably just as boring.

I call this, "Portrait of Two Unhappy Fashion/Hipster People at a Burlesque Show"

And this, "Portrait of Drunk, Happy People at a Burlesque Show"

Lastly, this is "Burlesque Person Imprisoned at a Fashion Party"

Mr. Hung's reminded me of a blend of Indochine and Macao's downstairs where I do my "Drunken Dragon Night" show. Seems like everything Chinese is sooo chic and hot right now. Well, damn it, its' about freaking time cause that was NOT my impression growing up in middle of Texas that being different or having different eyes were desirable at all! But that's another story for another day. :)

xoxo

Standing next to the most intriguing and ugliest fuzzy lamp ever...

Giant mirror!

What You Missed at Drunken Dragon Nights at Macao Trading Company

2011-02-08T14:43:00.003-05:00


Drunken Dragon Nights at Macao Trading Company, 311 Church Street, Tribeca

This was my closing act last night at Macao. It's my "champagne" act, a long 6 minute slow strip to two songs by Henri Mancini. I always do some kind of bar crawl choreography in the end at "Drunken Dragon Nights".

The event was sponsored by Courvoisier and one of the photographers, Peter Woloszyn, took this photo. I love it! It's notoriously dark in the lounge and no one has been able to take clear photos of the show thus far. So I am even more impressed that he was able to capture so much detail - without retouching! He promised me another set of more of last night so I will post them soon!

Mark Mann just tweeted me this polaroid he took from a shoot a few months ago. I love it! It's a GOOD day when you get amazing pictures like these two in one day!

Photo by Mark Mann. http://markmannphoto.com

One Year at Nurse Bettie

2011-02-04T11:24:00.001-05:00

Last night marked my ONE FULL year at Nurse Bettie. Can you believe that? This is my first show to reach the full year mark. Dim Sum Burlesque lasted 7 months and I often don't feel like I can make it to the one year term. The next shows in-line for the one year mark is "Beatles Burlesque" (March), "Drunken Dragon Night" at Macao Trading Company (April), and "Spreading the Curtains" at Coco de Mer (June). When all these shows hit one-year, I am goin to treat myself to that expensive dress I've been thinking about forever and maybe the new tattoo I've been researching!

The new renovations at NB has greatly improved the general ambiance and work environment for me. The tin-ceiling is shiny. The amber and red chandeliers bulbs cast a very pretty and glossy sheen over the ceiling which makes the space look larger. There are also red velvety curtains over the two front windows and for our "dressing" area. There are also lights under the bar so we can see where all our shit is instead of groping around in the dark. Many, many items have been lost back there in the "dressing hole" like my tip bucket that I handmade, a black fascinator with veil, and numerous other performer's stuff. The chandelier above the stage is now higher so no more broken bulbs when we swing our bras or feather fans. The taller performers will still have to watch out for that. There's a new toilet seat. I don't know why I noticed that, but I did. Overall, I'm pleased.

Tonight is the second installment of "Room 69: The Hotel Chantelle Way" and I am REALLY happy with this show which is lean, mean, and super-polished.

(Big sidenote: one thing I do want to mention is that often when you produce a show with a guarantee pay that is NOT at a performance or theater space but at a venue such as a upscale bar or restaurant, who you book is often not up to you to decide. This is why I can't book just anyone at many of my shows. I am essentially helping the venues expand their brand and image via entertainment - so believe you me, they do their research online and in magazines to see who the performers are and what they look like, and they ask me about them. When a venue asks if you know of "so and so", it's not fireside chit chat. They are in a way seeing how well integrated you are in the business and whether you can book that performer. I prefer this method because it continues the venue's tradition of style and the image they want to maintain.)

The venue is AMAZING and has such an elegant, sophisticated vibe. Everyone is SO accommodating and the crowd is always sitting down in their posh leather booths, and not screaming or trying to jump on the stage. There's no gogo-ing pre-show or during the short break, and I don't have to play any drinking or dance-off games to stretch the show. Chantelle has private parties usually on Friday nights starting at 10pm so we have to be outta there and done so the crew can disassemble the stage. Plus the cocktails are SO delicious!!!! I generally NEVER drink cocktails or champagne (too many calories) and 90% of the time I drink vodka soda at shows. If I'm out socializing with friends I drink wine. I used to like champagne but then I had the unfortunate experience of drinking Crystal at a private party once, and since then, I don't want to drink any other inferior champagnes. Unfortunate, indeed...

David Monroe took this photo of me from last week's Room69 - I am using this as my Facebook Profile picture but in that version I photoshopped out the "Exit" signs. That is one of my biggest photo pet peeves - the exit signs, the no smoking signs, all restroom signs. I hate them and will eradicate them!!

At Room69: The Hotel Chantelle Way

Happy Chinese New Year!

2011-02-03T12:21:00.000-05:00

I totally forgot it was Chinese New Year today until someone came up to me at work and said, "Happy New Year!" I was like, wtf??! Then I realized I was supposed to know it's CNY. Duh. It's the Year of the Rabbit which is ME.

According to this article about Rabbits, some of my characteristics are, "keen, wise, fashionable, kind, mysterious, affectionate and cuddly. You enjoy being the center of attention but only on occasion."

On occasion?! What! Just kidding. If you don't know what animal you are, here's a handy chart to solve the oriental mystery of animal zodiacs. Oooooooo.

I think it's quite fortuitous that Nurse Bettie Thursday Nights are back tonight - ON Chinese New Year! Some of the things I grew up believing about today is that you are supposed to wear red to bring luck or whatever good things to you, get your hair cut to start afresh, and eat noodles cause noodles symbolize long life. But I eat noodles almost every other day anyway so I must live forever!

Room 69 @ Hotel Chantelle

2011-01-24T17:48:00.000-05:00

I keep saying I am not going to produce or start a new show but I just couldn't say NO to Hotel Chantelle! This place is absolutely GORGEOUS inside w/a vintage-inspired Parisienne wallpaper that's very Art Nouveau, big tall red leather banquettes (watch out stilettos!), a beautiful curved bar and delicious tasting and sounding cocktails such as "The Bramble" and "The Whiskey Tango." PLUS - the real bonus is that it's close to my house which also makes me happy cause it saves on transportation cost to and from. The flyer is below. As you can see, the line-up is pretty fucking killer. I am stoked to work with these ladies all under one tin-stamped roof. The show is free and there will be specialty $8 cocktails available during the show. Charlie Gunn will be our kitten and I'm excited to work with her. She is new to the scene and it's always great to meet new burlesquers. PS: for those who don't know the term "Blind Tiger Hour" its an old term for "speakeasy". I hate "happy hour" - it makes me think of boring guys in suits from Wall Street.

Room 69: The Hotel Chantelle Way

Everything Tastes Better from a Bowl

2011-01-19T13:33:00.001-05:00

I just want to take this moment to say that I prefer using a bowl to eat food out of instead of plates. Even a deep-dish plate is preferred over a plate where all my food and whatever delicious sauce runs amock and all the flavors are not combined.

Left on my own in the apartment for a week you will only find a dish rack of bowls and no plates in sight. I thought this was because of my Chinese background but apparently Gal Friday told me it's also a real redneck hick thing! She said she likes to put all her food in a bowl too so all the flavors are combined. I couldn't agree more! It's like a burrito.

One of my favorite things to eat is pan-seared chicken breast over quinoa and topped with sauteed mushrooms with red wine reduction. I couldn't imagine eating this on a plate! Where would all the chicken juice go to if not soaked up by quinoa? The travesty!


Better in a Bowl!

Electroluminescent Wire

2011-01-15T16:30:00.001-05:00

Corset with EL lighting & Little Stormy's hat

To be deconstructed and re-fashioned by Liz!

I'm doing a new act this Sunday at The Standard for their Sunday Bingo party. It's a custom act for Chris who is throwing the party. I am SO excited about this outfit and act! Just LOOK at it! Besides the fact that Little Stormy made me a hat that matches perfectly - the corset lights up like Tron using two battery packs that I velcro-ed to the back of the corset. The wire is called EL (electroluminescene) wire and it's soft enough to adhere to your clothes. It's what Daft Punk used to make their famous suits as seen below.

My corset at The Standard's Sunday Bingo party

I am so inspired by this wire. I used thin fishing wire to sew the wire along the seams of the corset. This was painstaking and took two nights AND broke a needle. I originally made this with Kylie Minoque's "Speakerphone" in mind - which I am still developing but for this Sunday I'm doing a bared-down version to Santogold's "You'll Find a Way" the Switch & Sinden remix. I'm hoping to finish making the "inside" part of the costume with the longer wire I have. My vision is to construct the wire around my body as if I am wearing a cupless bra and thongs that light up in the end.

Backstage Series

2011-01-09T02:55:00.004-05:00

in no particular order, some backstage pics i've been collecting to kill time backstage.

The Tank, Tansy's show

The Tank with Albert Cadabra

Public Assembly's old dressing room in the alley

Colorado Burlesque Festival, most pampered backstage ever by Big Mama Red.

Colorado Burlesque Festival

Coney Island Freak Show, Jo Boob's TeaBaggin sbow, Johnny Porkpie & Rosabelle Selavy

Palace of Wonders, D.C., Albert's show with Gigi Lafemme

Palace of Wonders D.C.

Vig 27, Meaner Harder, Leather

Palace of Wonders, D.C., Sugar Shack Show, Ekat

Palace again

Palace again, the nun act did not go that well with the audience there. LOL.

Palace with Sue's crew: Scooter Pie, Ekat, Sue

Before makeup!

Under St. Mark's Theater, REVEALED show

Upstairs at Public Assembly, Beatles Burlesque

I can not remember where or what this is

Slipper Room, I think this is Jo's last Student Showcase there

Bar on A, Kitty Nights

Hotel Básico, Playa del Carmen Mexico
performing at Darren & Danae's wedding

Ella Lounge, Kiki Valentine's show

My Top 10 of 2010

2011-01-06T13:38:00.005-05:00

10. Birthday Limo & BBQ in Harlem
I celebrated my 35th birthday in style in an old-skool limo by Al's Limo with ten of my friends! The limo came equipped with beer and we came equipped with champagne on our way to dinner at Dinosaur BBQ up in Harlem. The limo also picked us up and took us back downtown after the meaty dinner after which I don't remember what I ended up doing...

Al''s limo. Courtesy of Dan Kim.

09. First Time in LA & First Burlesque Festival
I went to LA for the first time ever last year, and much to many of my hardcore New York friends' chagrin, I loved it! I loved driving the Mustang rental, I loved the sunshine, and I really liked seeing palm trees everywhere. I was there to work on a project that my ex-partner and I collaborated on for Trojan Condoms. It was an artist project grant, but unfortunately and VERY disappointingly, after all the hard work on everyone's part (writer, designer, photographer, numerous friends who were in the cast), the project never launched due to their legal department never finding time to approve all the copy and imagery. But you can still see how awesome the photography is, the re-writing of Homer's Odyssey as told through two young contemporary lovers is hilarious, and the design is fun! Trojan Odyssey.

Somewhere near Laurel Canyon I think...

I was also accepted to be a part of the Colorado Burlesque Festival headed by three fierce ladies: Midnight Martini, Lola Spitfire, and Fannie Spankings - This was my first festival!

Performing at Colorado Burlesque Festival

08. Subway Sandwiches
Don't knock it till you try it - at least try the RIGHT sandwich. I am a die-hard fan of Subway Sandwiches. If there was a Jarred of Burlesque for Subway, that would be me. I don't get the processed meat sandwiches, I get the veggie patty which apparently is made by the people who make Gardenburger and it's a favorite among vegetarians if you google it. My mom gave me a $100 Subway sandwich gift card and then another $50 for my birthday last year. I swear to god, you will lose weight eating their sandwiches and NOT feel hungry all the time. This is the sandwich I get every time: Foot long wholewheat toasted with veggie patty, lettuce, tomato, olives, salt & pepper, and one line of either light mayo or light Ranch.

07. THE Jovani Dress Part I
Ah, the coveted dress that I decided was too expensive but couldn't forget it, then decided I would get it after two cocktails in the afternoon, then changed my mind at the store, then got it online for $100 less and free shipping! This dress is my big investment and every time I wear it, I feel like a Korean TV actress on a variety show from the 90's! Unfortunately for my bank account, Jovani just came out with a new version of this dress that costs twice as much...yikes...

"THE" Dress with my gal pals in Colorado

"THE" Dress Part II...

06. Exercise
...in the form of gogo dancing! I am loath to go to the gym so I rehearse a lot at home, and sometimes even if I'm not working on a routine, I discovered how much I love dancing in the living room to my favorite playlist. On top of that, you can work out a lot of moves you may want to try in your act AND you're getting PAID to exercise! Who gets that going to the gym? As of December 2010, this was on my favorite dance playlist:

Switch Hitter (Diamondsnake)
Show Stopper (Peaches)
Only Seventeen (Skid Row)
AA XXX (Peaches)
Wherever I May Roam (Metallica)
Lust for Life (Iggy Pop)
We Are the Boys (Pulp)
Drunken Butterfly (Sonic Youth)
Foxy Lady (Jimi Hendrix)
20th Century Boy (T-Rex)
Rock N Roll Dream (Diamondsnake)

05. Masturbation
Masturbation is critical to a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes it's helpful when you have insomnia, and sometimes when you have indigestion. Or if you are just bored. Here are my favorite sites to go to: YouPorn, RedTube, and if you are too lazy to get out of bed go to BangYouLater for your iPhone!

04. Discoveries Such as New Friends, Partnerships, and the Fact That I am a Closeted Vegetarian

"Drunken Dragon Nights" at Macao. Courtesy Aaron Blakely.

2010 was full of opportunities in developing relationships with venues where I do regular shows. I just want to take this moment to thank the partners of Macao Trading Company and Employees Only along with their stellar staff who always make us feel pampered and taken care of at "Drunken Dragon Nights" and "Silky Sundays". Plus all the other special events that I do at both places. It makes me feel very happy to continue working with them. Codo de Mer NY gets another big shout out. It's been an absolute pleasure getting to know the Arscotts, Romina, Abby, and their clientele. Meeting Sam Roddick and hearing her lecture on sex, pleasure, and the idea of the "ethical slut" was thought provoking. I've made really great friends and friendships that have grown.

Rebecca & I at another one of Dan's epicurean feasts. By Dan Kim.

Lastly, I've discovered or rather finally faced up to the fact that I really like vegetarian food such as seitan, tempeh, kale, brown rice, etc. My favorite meal last year (after Subway) is Sliced Seitan with brown rice and steamed kale with ginger sauce with steamed squash that I get at Gobo. It always make me feel SO great after eating this meal, super energetic and happy. And I have become addicted to quinoa YUMMMMMMM!!!

Hiro Ballroom with Michael for some big photographer's birthday party

03. Hello Kitty/"Asian Hooker" Act
One thing that LA gets and NYC doesn't is irony and hair metal. Every time I've done my Hello Kitty/Asian Hooker act, someone in the audience always asks, "What is that music you were using?" Steel Panther may be HUGE in LA but here on the somber, take-oneself-so-seriously East coast, no one seems to know who they are! Maybe twice some cool guy in the audience will come up to me and with half-stunned, half-grinning expression say, "Was that Steel Panther?" I was introduced to the Panther via Michael Webb. The first time I heard "Asian Hooker" it hooked me. Haha. Developing this act was really hard and it took me many, many times to get it right. First of all, it's impossible to see out of the head so rehearsing in this costume is just frustrating. Then one time I danced backwards thinking I was facing the audience and when the head came off, I realized I was facing the back of the stage! Luckily, one 6 people were in attendance. Embellishing the costume took even more trials and tribulations, figuring out how to "message" the act via clothing took a while, and then how to address the "mouthless/voiceless" aspect of Hello Kitty's depiction. And I wanted to abandon the act several times but I forced myself to see it through. It even stirred some controversy at Honi's show when Russell Simmons was in attendance! Now it's exactly where I want it to be and I LOVE her skanky ass. Here's an awesome play-by-play photo series of this act taken by Paul Ferris.

02. New Apartment
Last year I finally and successfully dug myself out of my 300 sq. feet studio apartment in Chinatown after 5 years of "doing time" next to a noisy, cheating lesbian, noise on the street, and finding empty cocaine pouches in the hallway of stupid neighbors who work in fashion. Getting into this apartment was no easy feat but it was all worth it in the end because my life quality has increased tenfold. All the stars were aligned in my favor including the right person to live with which leads to my number 1 of 2010...

When we first moved in during the biggest snowstorm of 2010...

01. MICHAEL WEBB!

He satisfies me in every way. Enuff said!!!

FaceBook-Unfriendly Photos

2010-12-18T13:04:00.000-05:00

Since Facebook won't let me post these pictures on my Fan Page, these are some awesome pictures from the last Coco de Mer show with Ruby Valentine, Nikki LeVillain and myself. These photos were taken by Stacie Joy and Ed Barnas. To see the rest of the sets, click here.

Nikki Le Villain

The Grand Finale

Ruby Valentine

Nikki LeVillain